The Wheels on the Time go round and round
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- AndreiChekov
- Knight-Baron
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The Wheels on the Time go round and round
Annnnd I'm out of books. I've read the Wheel of Time series so many times, that I can't enjoy it anymore.
Anyone know any books that are a bit like that series? I mean, vaguely phantasy and magic, and all the girls are bitches type thing.
Anyone know any books that are a bit like that series? I mean, vaguely phantasy and magic, and all the girls are bitches type thing.
Peace favour your sword.
I only play 3.x
I only play 3.x
- Ancient History
- Serious Badass
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- angelfromanotherpin
- Overlord
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Well I'm not sure about that last one but might I recommend the works of Brandon Sanderson. He's the guy who did the last three WoT books. Consider picking up the Mistborn Trilogy, or if long series of doorstopers is you're cup of tea he's also writing one of those the second book is coming out this month.
- AndreiChekov
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- Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:54 pm
- Location: an AA meeting. Or Caemlyn.
What is a doorstopper?Lord Mistborn wrote:Well I'm not sure about that last one but might I recommend the works of Brandon Sanderson. He's the guy who did the last three WoT books. Consider picking up the Mistborn Trilogy, or if long series of doorstopers is you're cup of tea he's also writing one of those the second book is coming out this month.
Peace favour your sword.
I only play 3.x
I only play 3.x
A book large enough to hold a door open with.
DSMatticus wrote:It's not just that everything you say is stupid, but that they are Gordian knots of stupid that leave me completely bewildered as to where to even begin. After hearing you speak Alexander the Great would stab you and triumphantly declare the puzzle solved.
David Eddings does that some. For better or worse.
Try the Begariad or the Elenium.
Try the Begariad or the Elenium.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
Basically any book that's heavy enough to keep a door open.
Harry Potter, WoT, Game of Thrones, Cryptonomicon -- all doorstoppers.
I hate recommending bad books but you seem to like bad books so you should read the "Sword of Truth" series. It's "vaguely fantasy and magic" and the girls are definitely bitchy.
It's strange that you consider WoT as vaguely fantasy and magic.
Harry Potter, WoT, Game of Thrones, Cryptonomicon -- all doorstoppers.
I hate recommending bad books but you seem to like bad books so you should read the "Sword of Truth" series. It's "vaguely fantasy and magic" and the girls are definitely bitchy.
It's strange that you consider WoT as vaguely fantasy and magic.
Ancient History wrote:We were working on Street Magic, and Frank asked me if a houngan had run over my dog.
In the category "series of huge books" I'd recommend Memory, Sorrow and Thorn by Tad Williams. It's better written than most fantasy, but on the other hand it is severely lacking in the armies of cloned bitches department.
The Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind is tolerably written shlock with lots of bitchy women for the first few books, but then it gets really, really bad. And then it goes insanely objectivist, which is where I dropped the series. From what I've read later on it becomes a series about math, until it suddenly returns to being a mostly rational series for the last few books. I guess there was a clause allowing the publisher to hire a ghost writer to finish the series if the first author got committed to an asylum or something.
If you're more into the "neverending series but I can't stop despite how bad it gets" I'd recommend the Midkemia series of series by Raymond E. Feist. The Riftwar books are good (Magician is only okay, but it's a first effort so that's excusable. The Serpentwar is horrifically bad. Then it's mostly shlock. But you have like fifty books to plow through and at least it's not Gor.
If you just want a good farmboy-becomes-demigod series, definitely read the Belgariad by Eddings. You should also read his Elenium series. But for all that is holy, do not EVER think "you know, I'd like to read more about these characters" after reading them. IT IS A MISTAKE TO THINK SO.
If you do think that, read the sequel to the Belgariad, called the Malloreon. It's bad, but it might cure you of your evil thoughts before you pick up the Elenium's sequel series. DO NOT EVER READ THE TAMULI SERIES. THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN FATHOM ITS TERRIBLENESS.
That is, unless you've read anything else by Eddings. It is all shit, all of it shittier than the rest of the shit.
Also, Eddings is pretty low on number of bitches, but the bitches he offer are high-quality bitches. Their snootiness and castrating ways are hard to beat.
Alternately, if what you like of the Wheel of Time is to read a five-volume story stretched over fifteen books, you can look at L.E. Modesitt's Recluce series. In that case, there's a single story, repeated every book for, what, 12 or 13 books by now? I think I stopped at the book where the hero leaves Recluce to become an expert cheesemaker or something.
People have recommended Glen Cook's and Steven Brust's unique takes on fantasy, and they're good ideas. But if you're more into bland cookie-cutter fantasy settings with forgettable characters, you could instead look at Melanie Rawn's Dragon Prince/Dragon Star series. Or if you liked the Wheel of Time's glacial publishing pace, her Ruins of Ambrai series is awesome in that the last book has been due for a decade and a half and she's not working on it.
I'd list tons of other midlist series but honestly, they're pretty interchangeable. Robin Hobb, Sara Douglass, David Farland, whatever, these are readable authors telling not-terrible-but-not-amazing stories. You can pretty much pick a random book from you local bookstore's fantasy section and it'll be one of these guys.
The Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind is tolerably written shlock with lots of bitchy women for the first few books, but then it gets really, really bad. And then it goes insanely objectivist, which is where I dropped the series. From what I've read later on it becomes a series about math, until it suddenly returns to being a mostly rational series for the last few books. I guess there was a clause allowing the publisher to hire a ghost writer to finish the series if the first author got committed to an asylum or something.
If you're more into the "neverending series but I can't stop despite how bad it gets" I'd recommend the Midkemia series of series by Raymond E. Feist. The Riftwar books are good (Magician is only okay, but it's a first effort so that's excusable. The Serpentwar is horrifically bad. Then it's mostly shlock. But you have like fifty books to plow through and at least it's not Gor.
If you just want a good farmboy-becomes-demigod series, definitely read the Belgariad by Eddings. You should also read his Elenium series. But for all that is holy, do not EVER think "you know, I'd like to read more about these characters" after reading them. IT IS A MISTAKE TO THINK SO.
If you do think that, read the sequel to the Belgariad, called the Malloreon. It's bad, but it might cure you of your evil thoughts before you pick up the Elenium's sequel series. DO NOT EVER READ THE TAMULI SERIES. THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN FATHOM ITS TERRIBLENESS.
That is, unless you've read anything else by Eddings. It is all shit, all of it shittier than the rest of the shit.
Also, Eddings is pretty low on number of bitches, but the bitches he offer are high-quality bitches. Their snootiness and castrating ways are hard to beat.
Alternately, if what you like of the Wheel of Time is to read a five-volume story stretched over fifteen books, you can look at L.E. Modesitt's Recluce series. In that case, there's a single story, repeated every book for, what, 12 or 13 books by now? I think I stopped at the book where the hero leaves Recluce to become an expert cheesemaker or something.
People have recommended Glen Cook's and Steven Brust's unique takes on fantasy, and they're good ideas. But if you're more into bland cookie-cutter fantasy settings with forgettable characters, you could instead look at Melanie Rawn's Dragon Prince/Dragon Star series. Or if you liked the Wheel of Time's glacial publishing pace, her Ruins of Ambrai series is awesome in that the last book has been due for a decade and a half and she's not working on it.
I'd list tons of other midlist series but honestly, they're pretty interchangeable. Robin Hobb, Sara Douglass, David Farland, whatever, these are readable authors telling not-terrible-but-not-amazing stories. You can pretty much pick a random book from you local bookstore's fantasy section and it'll be one of these guys.
I would recommend Discworld. The books are individually pretty manageable, and while the world is fantasy, there is actually very little protagonist controlled magic thrown around, and Pratchett has a tendency to write women who are pretty independent--which might be seen as bitchy. There are also a good thirty or so of them, with little indication that Pratchett's stopping anytime soon, despite being 65 and suffering from the early stages of Alzheimers.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
This next one is supposed to be his last one.
He's gotten past the "early stages", sadly.
He's gotten past the "early stages", sadly.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
This sums up my thoughts.Cynic wrote:I hate recommending bad books but you seem to like bad books so you should read the "Sword of Truth" series. It's "vaguely fantasy and magic" and the girls are definitely bitchy.
It's strange that you consider WoT as vaguely fantasy and magic.
I was gonna offer suggestions, but most of the crap that I'm aware of are already posted, and I'd have to start suggesting good books instead and that didn't sound like what you wanted.
Oh! Maybe Roger Zelazny's Amber books. Female characters aren't necessarily bitches but they rarely get lines and are treated such that I would not blame them if they were.
- Whipstitch
- Prince
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That's a shame, I hadn't heard the latest. It's also a real shame that the man who upon being knighted went out and forged his own meteoric iron sword can't use pure badassery to fight Alzheimers.
Well, there are still twenty+ books, and his daughter may take over. I know she's handling the Night Watch TV series.
Well, there are still twenty+ books, and his daughter may take over. I know she's handling the Night Watch TV series.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
Raising Steam will be #40.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
Is Raising Steam Discworld? I hadn't heard anything regarding that yet.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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- Serious Badass
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For LoTR level fantasy/magic, I would also recommend C.J> Cherryh's "Fortress" series and also Guy Gavriel Kay's "Fionavar tapestry."
Fortress doesn't really have any bitchy women aside from the antagonist in book two and four.
Fionavar has some really strong female characters *who* could be classified as bitchy (but I'd disagree).
Really, I'll go with what Emerald said, don't read shitty books. These two series are at least decent.
Fortress doesn't really have any bitchy women aside from the antagonist in book two and four.
Fionavar has some really strong female characters *who* could be classified as bitchy (but I'd disagree).
Really, I'll go with what Emerald said, don't read shitty books. These two series are at least decent.
Ancient History wrote:We were working on Street Magic, and Frank asked me if a houngan had run over my dog.
I'd second Saga of Recluce, and also L. E. Modestitt Jr.'s Corean Chronicles.
As someone who also occasionally enjoys the mediocre fantasy series, I'd also recomend anything by Gene Wolfe. Particularly Book of the New Sun, and also Wizard Knight. But those don't fall under the 'mediocre but long running' category.
As someone who also occasionally enjoys the mediocre fantasy series, I'd also recomend anything by Gene Wolfe. Particularly Book of the New Sun, and also Wizard Knight. But those don't fall under the 'mediocre but long running' category.
There's also his Imager Portfolio, the eighth and last book of which comes out early next year.Sigil wrote:I'd second Saga of Recluce, and also L. E. Modestitt Jr.'s Corean Chronicles.
Like Mister Dee said, the Saga of Recluce is fairly repetitive, but it's one of those series that stretches over long periods of time so the events of earlier books are only legends in the later books (e.g. one book is about a majority female ship's crew trying to build a society and survive conflict with surrounding nations after being stranded and involves a lot of diplomacy and such, and later books depict them as terrifying mindless Amazons that can kill you just by looking at you because the other civilizations were freaked the fuck out by their combat skills) and is focused as much on worldbuilding as it is on characters.
Basically, if you can deal with 13 books of "Rand is the Dragon, Mat is lucky, Perrin is a blacksmith, Nynaeve pulls her braid a lot, Egwene is diplomatic, repeat as necessary," and you liked all of the politicking and exploration in WoT, you won't have any problems with Recluce.
Seconding the First Law trilogy (along with Best Served Cold, The Heroes and Red Country) and the Lies of Locke Lamora books.
Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver trilogy is pretty hefty and there's always the Last Call series by Tim Powers if you want to go more After Sundown than D&D with your fantasy novels.
Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver trilogy is pretty hefty and there's always the Last Call series by Tim Powers if you want to go more After Sundown than D&D with your fantasy novels.
FrankTrollman wrote: Halfling women, as I'm sure you are aware, combine all the "fun" parts of pedophilia without any of the disturbing, illegal, or immoral parts.
K wrote:That being said, the usefulness of airships for society is still transporting cargo because it's an option that doesn't require a powerful wizard to show up for work on time instead of blowing the day in his harem of extraplanar sex demons/angels.
Chamomile wrote: See, it's because K's belief in leaving generation of individual monsters to GMs makes him Chaotic, whereas Frank's belief in the easier usability of monsters pre-generated by game designers makes him Lawful, and clearly these philosophies are so irreconcilable as to be best represented as fundamentally opposed metaphysical forces.
Whipstitch wrote:You're on a mad quest, dude. I'd sooner bet on Zeus getting bored and letting Sisyphus put down the fucking rock.