[Non-US] News That Makes You laugh/cry/neither...

Longes · Post by **Longes** » Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:59 pm

http://asia.nikkei.com/Politics-Economy ... ncy-trader

MisterDee · Post by **MisterDee** » Thu Aug 06, 2015 5:17 pm

Shrapnel wrote:How do Canadian elections work? As in, are they as viscous/entertaining as American elections? Do the candidates get elected on who can make love in a boat canoe? Do you get an "I voted" sticker when you go to the polls? Do the candidates mothers call your phone to urge you to elect their children*?

*This actually isn't a joke. In the last Boston mayoral election, this really happened. It was simultaneously hilarious and really annoying.

Sorry, missed that for a few days.

In general terms, up until relatively recently, elections were relatively boring. Between the ruling party's ability to control exactly when the election would occur (within five years of the last, but that's it), the high number of "safe" ridings for each party, and the fact that there's honestly not that much difference in policy between the two "traditional" winning parties (the Liberals and Conservative), Canadian elections have trended toward being civil, not-that-amusing affairs.

This particular election, however, shapes up to be interesting. The Conservatives have pretty much accomplished everything on their agenda that had even remotely non-oil industry appeal. They haven't fucked up too badly on the economic front, but there's really not much they can propose beyond "we'll continue not to fuck up" that won't get them wiped out outside Alberta. Sure, they'll promise random bits here and there but it's not broad policy issues.

Meanwhile, the Liberals may not be the powerhouse they were in the 90s, and the ever-present Liberal corruption stench hasn't dissipated yet, but they do have two trump cards: 1-their leader is Trudeau's son, which will gain them at least 20 ridings based solely on "his father fucked Quebec hard", and 2-he actually has proposed non-stodgy-old-banker policies, like "not fucking the environment forever" and "you know, pot isn't going to turn us into Sabertooth, maybe we could have an adult discussion about it?"

And just to make things interesting, the NDP (left-leaning) is now in the lead for the first time in history and the Bloc Québécois actually dumped its asshole noname chief to put Duceppe back in control - which makes it so there's at least one riding worth following, because any Parliament with Duceppe in it will be better than one without, even if he's the sole BQ member elected.

So at least there are stakes beyond "which stodgy old banker gets the big seat" this time around. Also, the Conservatives are slowly descending into batshit craziness, so there's potential for stupid gaffes there (Canadian elections tend to be mostly about backbenchers saying idiotic stuff and making their party leader squirm on national television.) And of course, the Conservatives are utterly in love with American-style attack ads, so that should be hilarious too since everyone but rural Albertans hate those with the fury of a thousand Kaeliks.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Thu Aug 06, 2015 8:09 pm

MisterDee wrote:everyone but rural Albertans hate those with the fury of a thousand Kaeliks.

THAT IS A GODDAM LIE! There is a reason the standard measurement is milliKaeliks, and that is because one Kaelik is the maximum amount of rage that a single person can output.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:23 pm

Fuck you, I've taken shits angrier than one Kaelik.

Longes · Post by **Longes** » Sun Aug 09, 2015 5:46 pm

Poor France just can't catch a break. It had to pay compensation to Russia for Mistrals, and now India cancelled the Rafale deal.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 7:08 pm

Better off drowned than touched by a lifeguard

Leress · Post by **Leress** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 7:46 pm

Maj wrote:Better off drowned than touched by a lifeguard

There is no real article there.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 1:50 am

Maj wrote:Better off drowned than touched by a lifeguard

And here we see that beliefs are wrong.

Occluded Sun · Post by **Occluded Sun** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:33 pm

We can learn lots of things from that story, but that the father's belief was wrong isn't one of them. That evaluation doesn't arise from the simple facts of the case.

I can't help but wonder whether the reason being 'defiled' would be worse than drowning, from the father's perspective, is that the father would have to financially support unmarriable daughters indefinitely.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:44 pm

I think what we've learned is that Dubai needs more female lifeguards.

nockermensch · Post by **nockermensch** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 9:43 pm

hyzmarca wrote:I think what we've learned is that Dubai needs more female lifeguards.

Omegonthesane · Post by **Omegonthesane** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:31 am

Maj wrote:Better off drowned than touched by a lifeguard

Back in '96, anyway

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:11 pm

Thank heavens.

PhoneLobster · Post by **PhoneLobster** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 6:48 am

Our comically inept conservative government has been stumbling from each weekly self created needless crisis to the next for rather a while now.

Internal dissent has been boiling up again, Tony No Friends was supposed to deliver improved polling by now "or else", and he hasn't, but now they are too afraid to replace him so there is no "or else".

So everyone is just attacking each other in public. And also in private, then they make it public with endless leaks.

The leaking has gotten so bad that, not for the first time, Tony No Friends has given his cabinet the "stop leaking or else this time for sure!" talk, even though he hasn't actually got enough political capital to deliver on the or else. Not that he did the last several times he gave the no leaking talk/threat.

So they circulated some cabinet documents detailing exactly what talking points everyone was being ordered to use to spin with if anyone in the media mentioned leaks to them.

...So someone leaked the how to respond to leaks document.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:22 am

so, technically you have by now the most open government anywhere?

PhoneLobster · Post by **PhoneLobster** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 12:19 pm

Stahlseele wrote:so, technically you have by now the most open government anywhere?

What we have is one of the most secretive governments in our history.

In the face of these sorts of leaks how do we get that?

It's an exciting experiment in triple layered hypocrisy.

So Tony No Friends and his office (and most immediate allies) tell everyone who ever met anyone who thought about a government policy to shut the hell up.

Most government departments, the army, and for some reason the stazi weird loyalist Abbot palace guard* Australian Federal Police will just do whatever they are told probably because they are terrified for their jobs what with illegal political revenge sackings and insane political revenge job and funding cuts to entire fields up to and including science (yes, science, in general). There have been a few notable leaks from them, but mostly a spectacular degree of secrecy in field that only a few years ago were open to the public but now are suddenly politically expedient for conservatives to shut the fuck down as "operational matters" and bullshit.

Buuut... everyone knows rules are only meant to be broken... by conservative politicians, everyone else is supposed to follow them. So the ministers and even back benchers in the conservative parties leak the fuck out of anything and everything if they think it might save them from the coming electoral apocalypse as forseen in the polls, or even just for shits and giggles if they think it will piss off whichever other conservative politician they either imagine they are competing with for the post of "leader of the much smaller conservative opposition after Tony is staked and burnt by angry mobs in the coming electoral apocalypse" or who they just you know, don't like today (and they generally hate each other for next to no reason on most days).

Still. Tony No Friends keeps telling them to just shut the fuck up and follow the script (which is usually, "no comment" plus "three word slogan" plus "now shut the fuck up for once fucks sake").

Buuut... rules are meant to be broken... by conservative politicians, even when they are trying to lay them down for other conservative politicians. Sure THIS week Tony No Friends and his closest loonies are on about the terror of cabinet leaking... but actually some of the biggest leaking offenses have been commited by them, and by Tony No Friends himself. And I don't just mean their long history of leaking against their own party back in the old days when their faction wasn't running it, but EVEN NOW their preferred method of policy DEVELOPMENT, not announcement, actual development, is to not ask or tell anyone in their party, or even the cabinet, and just leak it straight to their press allies and see if it flies.

So yeah. They demand total secrecy for everything ever just in case it might because everything definitely will embarrass them. Except anything they want to leak to keep Malcolm "No one in Australia needs fast internet" Turnbull in his place as party doormat unaccountably popular with the electorate undermine each other, or anything the prime minister's office wants to leak to bypass his most hated enemies own party.

* and PS... yeah... there is something really fucking weird going on with the AFP. It LOOKS corrupt as all fuck I mean, they jump to prosecute anyone Abbot asks them to for the most minor things, and have been ignoring increasingly escalating far more serious crimes by conservatives for a while now. And Abbot literally fucking LIVES AT THEIR BARRACKS. The only way they could look more like loyalist palace guard would be if they lived at the fucking palace and had stupid fucking hats.

erik · Post by **erik** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:54 pm

謝謝奧巴馬

It took a month and a half longer than I expected, but the bad touch of the China market fuckery has helped our expected correction to overreach (I hope) to a level where I'm now comfortable buying back into the stock market. I'd cashed out my meager holdings when posting doom and gloom back in early July and have been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Now I'm hoping that the other shoe has finished dropping, at least as far as the markets are concerned.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 10:42 pm

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wor ... the-world/

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 1:55 am

erik wrote:謝謝奧巴馬

What does this mean? I tried pasting it into Google translate, but it just gave me more Chinese back.

erik · Post by **erik** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 2:04 am

Maj wrote:
erik wrote:謝謝奧巴馬
What does this mean? I tried pasting it into Google translate, but it just gave me more Chinese back.

Whups. Xièxiè àobāmǎ

To get it to play right I guess you need to hit enter between them.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 2:05 am

Maj wrote:
erik wrote:謝謝奧巴馬
What does this mean? I tried pasting it into Google translate, but it just gave me more Chinese back.

According to one of the dozen or so translators I ran it through, Thank You Obama.

Babylon Translator can apparently handle phonetic western names in simplified Chinese better than any other translator.

icyshadowlord · Post by **icyshadowlord** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:37 am

Couldn't find any articles on it in English, but Finland's economy is kind of turning to shit right now. Seems like a common thing around here right now.

Edit: When I said "around here" I meant Europe.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 9:36 am

Well, 'around here' could apply to the world. Can anyone name an economy that's actually doing well? Even the economies that are in sorta-okay shape like Canada have problems like spiraling household debt.

icyshadowlord · Post by **icyshadowlord** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:41 am

Good point there. The only places I can imagine being well-off right now are tax havens like Luxembourg, and even that I'm not 100% sure of.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:38 pm

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/ ... cnic-table