[Non-political] News that makes you Laugh/Cry/Both...

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:31 am

Hmm, maybe before she went to equestria . .

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:31 pm

Man lives in canoe in Boston Harbor

This guy is just plain awesome.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:40 pm

We live in a world where this can happen.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Dec 06, 2012 4:14 am

I long ago made peace with that fact. I'm more upset that the reporter stated the use of two entirely different guns, though the injuries make it sound like it was a 22 gauge shotgun (the gun mentioned in the lede), not a .22 caliber rifle... Not because I'm a gun nut, but it makes their whole reporting section over there seem incredibly shoddy. (though with it being through a cable company, and using the words "hugely popular," I actually half expect this to be a publicity stunt...)

This would be like me saying that Wayne Gretzky scored a touchdown in the World Cup because I don't know sports (though of course I know enough to not actually fuck that up). How does no one fact check that?

tussock · Post by **tussock** » Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:47 am

"That could totally happen, you know."
"What? No it couldn't, that's bullshit."
"Ah, yes it could, there's like military people making ..."
"Oh fuck, not that shit again, I'm sick of your ..."
"Don't fucking talk over me, b..."
"You asshole, don't you fucking call me that you god-damned cons..."
BANG!
"Gakk. Gakk."
"Oh, shit, baby, it's just, you were ..."
"GAKK!"
"Right, yeh, I'll call an ambulance."
"Gakk, gak."
"... Baby, that totally looks like that zombie shit, it's creeping me out."
"...."

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Dec 06, 2012 12:16 pm

http://news.yahoo.com/royal-molecatcher ... 17393.html

This is very endearing for me.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Tue Dec 11, 2012 1:13 am

The strangest case of animal rights. There's something strange when the Feds go to the courts to make a case about cats belonging to Ernest Hemingway (died in 1961).

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:12 pm

So this is also from the same shoddy cable news site as before. What can I say? It's the homepage on my computer; I see a headline that catches my eyes, I snag it and bring it here.

The Pawn Star guys are in troublllle!

Essence · Post by **Essence** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 3:11 am

Yeah, I hate those links, Shrapnel. Every time I go to one, it says "Upgrade your browser!" because those fuckers hate Opera -- and even the link that says "don't upgrade and go to the page regardless" just takes you back to the "Upgrade your browser!" page.

This is why I switched to CenturyLink. That, and the extra $20/month it saved me.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 3:06 pm

Ah, well, Comcast isn't the greatest of people. They fuck over our internet and phone services as well. And they're our provider.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:09 pm

I still don't fully understand why this happens, but it provides hours of entertainment.

Behold the Hutzler banana slicer

One of my favorites:

BanaNinja wrote:I was an outsider. No purpose. No direction. While classmates fostered talents and refined skills that would blossom into lucrative careers, I couldn't even eat paste without choking. I was desperate. Alone. That is, until I found the ancient discipline of banana slicing. The great unwashed masses sliced their bananas with a blithe indifference. For me, the existential joy of a proportionally sliced banana had been uncovered, laid bare before my disbelieving eyes. I had been reborn. Decades I spent, training in the banana underground with banana masters of South America, Southeast Asia and India. A patient student of the banana, I was meticulous. Discipline. Dedication. Focus. These forged a master bananaman. I returned stateside. The goal: A Banana Slicing Empire, built one evenly bite-sized banana nugget at a time. ALAS! CURSED HUNTZLER 571 BANANA SLICER! My life's pursuit lost to a safe and economical tool that slices bananas perfectly and is easy to clean! Again I drift, guided only by the hope of turning my skill upon the unchecked scourge of unsliced bread loaves. Huntzler 571 Banana Slicer, victory is yours... for now.

(link to the amazon.com page)

Taishan · Post by **Taishan** » Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:15 pm

This is a load of horseshit.

Its one thing to keep an orphan drug going; that's commendable and I would actually give a pharma a subsidy or tax break for doing so. But the addition of it 'contains other substances from the pig pituitary glands that account for some of its effectiveness' is a total load of horseshit. Either your protein purifications are good or not. If they're following a purification protocol from the 1950s and its NOT producing exactly what its supposed to be making, I don't see how they can maintain FDA approval for it.

K · Post by K » Sat Jan 05, 2013 2:22 pm

Apparently, eating trans-fats turns you into a dick.

So does that explain America in one grand stroke?

name_here · Post by **name_here** » Sat Jan 05, 2013 5:15 pm

My god, will my dad's first job out of college never stop coming back to haunt us?

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:45 pm

K wrote:Apparently, eating trans-fats turns you into a dick.

So does that explain America in one grand stroke?

Mother Jones is blaming it on lead in gasoline, apparently.

nockermensch · Post by **nockermensch** » Tue Jan 08, 2013 2:36 pm

I'm waiting about the next book in this series, about smallpox.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Wed Jan 09, 2013 1:37 am

I'm personally waiting for Polio to get popular again. That shit was all the rage back in the day.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:11 pm

Swiss court decides farmer no longer has to pay 655-year-old debt to the Catholic Church.

As an aside, I wish I could find the "Catholics Come Home" commercial from the BCS championship on Monday. That was some shit.

erik · Post by **erik** » Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:34 am

Maxus wrote:Swiss court decides farmer no longer has to pay 655-year-old debt to the Catholic Church.

That's kind of cool actually. A 655 year-old family tradition. It's bloody murder just getting my family together within 7 days of Christmas. Keeping a lamp lit for 655 years, fucking hell.

Well, it would have been way cooler if the lamp was actually kept lit on their property by them, and not just sending a payment to the church forever, but hey. I think the Catholic Church would be making an awesome move if they decided "Yeah, you're paid up", and gave the family the lamp as an heirloom. Assuming it is a specific lamp and not just a light on somewhere that they demanded compensation for.

Foxwarrior · Post by **Foxwarrior** » Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:46 am

$50000 in yearly installments of $75 is a pretty good deal for getting away with murder.

Essence · Post by **Essence** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:06 am

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/respon ... re-looking

Official White House Response to the Petition to Secure Funding and Begin Construction of a Death Star by 2016.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:31 pm

Wonder what Obama thinks of this.
He is supposedly the worlds most powerfull nerd . .

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:33 pm

Essence wrote:https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/respon ... re-looking

Official White House Response to the Petition to Secure Funding and Begin Construction of a Death Star by 2016.

Thats actually pretty boss.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:45 pm

In which the Obama administration erik stomps down on Cynic's idiotic repost while establishing the fact that Essence beat him to it.

erik · Post by **erik** » Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:00 pm

Cynic wrote:In which the Obama administration stomps down on idiotic net-based petitions while also establishing their own geek street cred.

Pssst... Look where the horns be pointin!

[edit: oh screw you thread. deciding to put me on a new page to ruin my taunt. bah!]