[Let's Play] Fighting Fantasy 33 – Sky Lord

[JourneymanN00b]

Thank you for your votes. Luck will not be used for the rest of the fight, as that is what the two votes called for.

The fight, continued:
[spoiler]Round 2: Prefecta Attack Strength: 16, Player Attack Strength: 19;
Prefecta Stamina: 6, Player Stamina: 5
Round 3: Prefecta Attack Strength: 18, Player Attack Strength: 17;
Prefecta Stamina: 6, Player Stamina: 3
Round 4: Prefecta Attack Strength: 13, Player Attack Strength: 15;
Prefecta Stamina: 4, Player Stamina: 3
Round 5: Prefecta Attack Strength: 16, Player Attack Strength: 16;
Prefecta Stamina: 4, Player Stamina: 3
Round 6: Prefecta Attack Strength: 13, Player Attack Strength: 20;
Prefecta Stamina: 2, Player Stamina: 3
Round 7: Prefecta Attack Strength: 17, Player Attack Strength: 14;
Prefecta Stamina: 2, Player Stamina: 1
Round 8: Prefecta Attack Strength: 15, Player Attack Strength: 23;
Prefecta Stamina: 0, Player Stamina: 1[/spoiler]

Jang Mistral barely manages to kill the Prefecta, who gets him down to 1 Stamina before biting the dust. Talk about a close call.

24
Your victory is short-lived, as the treacherous Marsatu knocks you down with a short club. ‘Ha, ha!’ he scoffs. ‘You fight well for a “real”, but you’re so stupid!’ He blows into an enormous whistle-ring encircling one of his fingers, and three more Prefectas appear. ‘I have brought the spy along myself,’ he informs them. ‘Now, let’s go and see L’Bastin!’ The Prefectas seize you and take your weapons. Deduct 1 point from your SKILL. ‘Yes,’ they laugh. ‘Let’s visit L’Bastin.’ They touch the obelisk, which wobbles aside, and you are dragged below, through a maze of corridors and halls. In one room Marsatu waves his arms. ‘This was, until recently, the defence centre, crammed with complex computer systems. But my creator, L’Bastin the genius, decided that it would be safe to move the computers to another location. So you see, your mission was futile from the first!’ Turn to 75.

75
[spoiler][/spoiler]

Eventually you enter a long, crystal chamber, at the end of which is a cylindrical tank, eight feet high and three feet wide, mounted on three rubber wheels. Curling from the tank’s base is an enormous ivory horn; pricking into its sides are half a dozen shiny metal quills. With creeping dread, you recognize the bizarre contraption: it is a Crump’s Posidon Tank, a diabolically efficient torture chamber manufactured by the Questions-and-Answers Division of the notorious family enterprise, Elmer Crump & Sons. Many varieties of posidon tank are in use throughout the multiverses, but the Mark IVP model, before you now, operates in the following fashion. The intended victim is bound and immersed upside down in the cylinder’s oily liquid. He is able to breathe, speak or scream only through a rubber mouthpiece and hose, leading into the ivory horn. Within the oil exist six tiny mechanical creatures: Crump’s patented tinselfish. Each tinselfish is controlled by one of the metal quills inserted into the tank’s side. When the quills are almost out, the fish are inactive, and swim lazily around their victim, only occasionally pausing for a nibble; but when the quills are pushed further in, they become furious, tearing mercilessly at their victim with sharp metal teeth. Will your mission end here? Will you be the tank’s next victim? These thoughts enter your mind as you are dragged down the hall towards it. You may wish to lash out at your captors and attempt a daring escape (turn to 159), or will you desist struggling and, hopefully, find the means to escape later on (turn to 322)?

Please vote before 9:00 AM PDT or a 3-vote majority is reached to guarantee that it will be counted.

Adventure Sheet:
[spoiler]Jang Mistral
SKILL: 10 Initial Skill = 12
STAMINA: 1 Initial Stamina = 24
LUCK: 6 Initial Luck = 12
RATING: 7
CREDITS: 0 Initial = 10
OXYGEN SUPPLY POINTS: 10 Initial = 10
NOTES AND ITEMS:
6 Provision Tablets
Flask of Strong Acid
Bottle of Acid
Piece of Rock-salt
Infra-red Sensor Helmet
Audio-amplifying Headset
RESURRECTIONS: 0[/spoiler]

Space Combat Sheet:
[spoiler]STARSHIP: STARSPRAY
DATA: 4 HIGH POWER LASERS L
8 FORCE SHIELD PODS S
YOUR VEHICLES:
None[/spoiler]

[SGamerz]

We're allowed to, like, gobble down 3 Provision tablets immediately, right? Cos we need it like right now.

Desist struggling for now.

[Beroli]

Swallow five Provision Tablets right after the end of the fight, and don't struggle for now.

[Thaluikhain]

Eat 5 now, don't struggle yet.

[Queen of Swords]

Yes, take the Provision tablets and don't struggle.

[Darth Rabbitt]

Eat 5, don't struggle.

[JourneymanN00b]

Votes registered, Jang Mistral will desist struggling and hopefully find the means to escape later on. He will also eat 5 Provision tablets, as that decision was also made by a 3-1 vote.

322
[spoiler][/spoiler]

As you near the posidon tank, you realize that it is already occupied by a lanky, four-armed humanoid. The Prefectas begin to snicker quietly among themselves as Marsatu recognizes the luckless figure. After a moment’s hesitation, Marsatu taps the glass cylinder. ‘L’Bastin,’ he inquires, ‘what are you doing in there? I thought to find you as usual, seated upon your throne.’ From the ivory horn, a dreary voice replies: ‘Marsatu, you idiot! Do you think I’m in here for my pleasure? Of course not! Those hideous monstrosities beside you – yes, the three Prefectas – they have imprisoned me in here. Yes, they do know I created them! Bah, they’re so ungrateful! If I ever get out of here I’ll … Aagh!’ Leaning forward, one of the Prefectas has pushed a quill further into the tank. ‘Now, now, L.B.,’ it chortles, as an excited tinselfish busies itself with L’Bastin’s left earlobe, ‘you demean yourself by bickering, and your threats don’t suit. You know, and soon everyone will find out, that we Prefectas will tolerate nothing less than being treated as lords and masters. And it is only proper that we should be, for we are perfect, are we not? Perfect life-forms! I feel wonderful, because I am wonderful! We alone are destined to rule the galaxy.’ With that, the Prefecta launches into a lengthy speech that would have made even giant Jym Ego feel subservient. When it finishes, both Marsatu and yourself are dragged away to a prison cage, where you await a gruelling interrogation. Turn to 225.

225
Ignoring Marsatu’s incessant blubbering, you examine your gaol. You are imprisoned in a cubic cage, the sides of which are precisely ten feet long. The bars, although thin and malleable, contain ‘spike-hair’, a scintillating electro-plastic charged to a million volts. Touch one and you will be vaporized. (The dust of a previous victim has not yet settled.) Upon the floor you find a tiny button, half melted and not easily identifiable – you recall similar buttons being worn by Bok, Marsatu’s fish-faced servant … A quarter of an hour later, the warder returns with L’Bastin, still entombed within the posidon tank. The warder, a broad-faced Prefecta grinning like a Cheshire cat, turns the power down to a mere hundred thousand volts and, with a pair of rubber-coated pliers, bends several bars apart. L’Bastin is wheeled in; when the bars have been bent back into shape, the warder turns the power up again. You had entered the cell in a similar fashion: the cage has no door. When the warder departs, Marsatu and L’Bastin begin to argue. ‘I’m in a mess now, L’Bastin,’ says Marsatu, ‘and it’s all your fault! You spent all your time designing those stupid Prefectas, when you could have been cloning hundreds of me! I told you so, but you wouldn’t listen. Well, now we’re all in this cell, and there’s no hope. Really!’ L’Bastin’s voice reverberates from the ivory horn: ‘Yes,’ it drones, ‘we’re really in it. But what would I want with hundreds of copies of you? You were a disaster from the beginning; I put too much sawdust into your mixture, and it’s all gone to your head! I should have melted you down, along with the other rejects!’ In a fury, Marsatu pushes in every quill; the tinselfish go berserk and the oil turns red. Will you help L’Bastin (turn to 175), or will you stuff your fingers in your ears and wait for the screams to subside (turn to 123)?

Please vote before 6:00 PM PDT to guarantee that it will be counted.

Adventure Sheet:
[spoiler]Jang Mistral
SKILL: 10 Initial Skill = 12
STAMINA: 21 Initial Stamina = 24
LUCK: 6 Initial Luck = 12
RATING: 7
CREDITS: 0 Initial = 10
OXYGEN SUPPLY POINTS: 10 Initial = 10
NOTES AND ITEMS:
1 Provision Tablet
Flask of Strong Acid
Bottle of Acid
Piece of Rock-salt
Infra-red Sensor Helmet
Audio-amplifying Headset
RESURRECTIONS: 0[/spoiler]

Space Combat Sheet:
[spoiler]STARSHIP: STARSPRAY
DATA: 4 HIGH POWER LASERS L
8 FORCE SHIELD PODS S
YOUR VEHICLES:
None[/spoiler]

[angelfromanotherpin]

Let's save L'Bastin from the ridiculously decadent torture device. He actually seems like he might be some help.

[Thaluikhain]

Help him.

[Beroli]

L'Bastin has, it seems, learned the most nakedly self-interested reason why someone who is observably not an Aryan should not create Nazis.

Snap a photo of him in the poseidon tank to give to the Queen, then help him.

[Queen of Swords]

The Daleks did the same thing to Davros, didn't they?

Help the idiot.

[SGamerz]

Help the idiot.

[JourneymanN00b]

Votes registered, Jang Mistral will help L’Bastin.

175
You withdraw the quills just in time, and save L’Bastin. However, Marsatu is more than a little peeved. ‘He deserves death, and so do you!’ he screams. With fists flailing, he lunges at you; but you manage to dodge sideways. Marsatu careers into the bars behind and disappears in a loud ‘fupff’. L’Bastin moans his gratitude. ‘You have saved me from that oaf, and in happier circumstances I would have rewarded you.’ You help L’Bastin out of the tank and explain your mission to him. ‘Alas, the defence computers are now beyond your reach,’ he replies, ‘even if you were free. But the Prefectas can be stopped in another way, which is this …’ L’Bastin explains that, at present, he has produced only one batch of several hundred Prefectas, although another batch is under preparation in his vats in Vault 7. ‘The first lot are impure: I accidentally spilt too much of one particular ingredient into their mixture. Although they do not realize it, it has made them haughty, overbearing and disloyal. If even more of the same chemical was added to the new batch, I am sure they would squabble among themselves, probably to our advantage. Unfortunately I have no more of the chemical left: I sprinkled the last of it on my dinner several days ago!’ ‘What is the ingredient, then?’ you ask. ‘Impure sodium chloride,’ L’Bastin answers. Common salt! If you have any rock-salt, turn to 306; otherwise, turn to 259.

[spoiler][/spoiler]

Jang Mistral does have a piece of rock-salt.

306
You respond jubilantly, ‘I have some salt, but how can I administer it? We are still caged in, after all.’ ‘Not for long,’ says L’Bastin, plunging one arm into the posidon tank. With a yank, he pulls loose the rubber mouth-piece and hose. ‘Here, wrap this round one of your hands,’ he tells you. When you have done so, he points to the bars where Marsatu was killed. ‘Observe: these bars are quite dull, and covered with soot: a good insulator. Their power has been much reduced. Now, clench those bars with the rubber hose, and bend them outwards.’ Apprehensively, you touch the bars and bend them out of shape, receiving only minor shocks as you do so. Deduct 2 points from your STAMINA. Stepping gingerly through the gap, you turn to help L’Bastin out; at this moment, the warder returns. ‘Caught you in the act!’ he shouts, levelling his needle-gun. In a flash you leap on him, wrestling for the weapon.

WARDER SKILL 8 STAMINA 8

If you win, turn to 356.

[spoiler][/spoiler]

The fight:
[spoiler]Round 1: Warder Attack Strength: 15, Player Attack Strength: 16;
Warder Stamina: 6, Player Stamina: 19
Round 2: Warder Attack Strength: 19, Player Attack Strength: 18;
Warder Stamina: 6, Player Stamina: 17
Round 3: Warder Attack Strength: 14, Player Attack Strength: 17;
Warder Stamina: 4, Player Stamina: 17
Round 4: Warder Attack Strength: 12, Player Attack Strength: 19;
Warder Stamina: 2, Player Stamina: 17
Round 5: Warder Attack Strength: 17, Player Attack Strength: 16;
Warder Stamina: 2, Player Stamina: 15
Round 6: Warder Attack Strength: 11, Player Attack Strength: 13;
Warder Stamina: 0, Player Stamina: 15[/spoiler]

Jang Mistral eliminates the Warder after taking 4 damage from two lucky hits that the warder made.

356
[spoiler][/spoiler]

You take the warder’s needle-gun. Increase your SKILL by 1 point. When you turn towards L’Bastin, you see that he is dying, shot by a stray needle during your struggle. ‘Take the passage left, and down the air-tube to Vault 7,’ he directs. ‘There you will find my laboratory and the vats. Add the salt to the mixture.’ He coughs and whispers faintly, ‘One more thing I would like you to know. The Prefectas, even properly constructed, are not the perfect life-form. They are excellent warriors – nothing more. You see, I did find out, through my experiments, what the perfect organism is. They already exist – in the natural environment. But they weren’t suitable for my plans of conquest. You see, they are …’ He forces out a final word. No! They can’t be that! Surely not! Well, what does it matter anyway. L’Bastin closes his eyes and departs from the 3rd dimension. It is time for you to leave also. Following L’Bastin’s instructions, you creep along the passage towards the air-tube. Test your Luck. If you are Lucky, turn to 276; if you are Unlucky, turn to 388.

Rolling the dice yielded a 5, meaning that Jang Mistral was Lucky.

276
You take the air-tube to Vault 7 and pass through a triangular opening to enter L’Bastin’s laboratory. It is a large rectangular chamber with a gaudy tangerine ceiling and sickly brown walls. Lining many of the walls are aluminum racks crammed with colourful bottles, smoking flasks, corked cylinders and tubes. A pungent odour rises from thick dust and spilt liquids carpeting the floor – certainly L’Bastin had been a most untidy scientist! In the main, however, your attention is drawn to the opposite end of the room, beyond dozens of rows of high wooden benches, to a point where three dog-like beings are shovelling powdered chemicals into a mechanical hopper. Stealing closer, you examine them in detail. By their outlandish dress and their queer manner of speech, you recognize them as Yappies, a race of intelligent canines from Quadranx-Mauve. Apparently they are laboratory assistants, preparing the chemical mix for the second batch of Prefectas. ‘Zap, my man, Brag,’ says the one wearing the bowler hat, blue reflectors and satin pantaloons, ‘it’s freezo time. Clear yar pads, it’s time for a gulp of rocket cola.’ Zap and Brag down tools and follow the other into a side room where, after a noisy gurgle, they can be heard giggling and quietly humming weird tunes. When all seems safe, you sneak up to the gyrating hopper and crumble your rock-salt into the mix. But as you turn aside, the now tipsy Yappies return. ‘Hey, hey!’ says one. ‘What’s this – a snoop? I’m jabbin’ m’ blabber to those Prefecta dudes, or m’bonnet’ll roll!’ They all turn to leave the laboratory. If you have the sphere containing the audio-amplifying headset, turn to 132; otherwise, turn to 115.

Jang Mistral does have the sphere containing the audio-amplifying headset.

132
‘Wait!’ you cry, breaking open the sphere and offering them the headset. ‘If you don’t blab, I’ll give you this!’ Luckily for you, the Yappies have never seen a headset before, so they stay to examine it. First, you place it on Zap’s head and tune it in to the funkiest radio-station in the galaxy. The other two soon take their turns in listening. ‘Wow!’ cries Zap. ‘Cool, man-thing!’ shouts Brag. ‘Rock my cosmic marbles!’ says the third, slapping his companion’s paws. ‘This is terrifico! OK, we’ll keep the beat box, and you can space out o’ here.’ You vacate the laboratory as quickly as you can, and return to Vault 6, where you hide in a ventilator shaft. The fun is about to begin! Turn to 187.

187
[spoiler][/spoiler]

As you had hoped, the two batches of Prefectas, the old and the new, begin squabbling among themselves; soon fighting breaks out. You listen from the relative comfort of your hiding-place as the two warring factions charge up and down the corridors, down the air-tube, through the chambers and vaults. It is a great while before the sounds of fury subside. Venturing out, you discover a scene of dreadful carnage; bodies of hundreds of Prefectas, blasted by lasers or hacked to pieces by wicked implements, are strewn throughout the confines of vaults 6 and 7. In one room only do you meet a live Prefecta; it is badly wounded and will soon die. ‘I am the last of my race,’ it croaks. ‘What an empire we could have built for ourselves! My strength ebbs, but if I am to die, I will go down fighting, as a warrior!’ It attacks you with a sharp cutlass.

LAST PREFECTA SKILL 6 STAMINA 6

If you win, turn to 400.

[spoiler][/spoiler]

The fight:
[spoiler]Round 1: Last Prefecta Attack Strength: 8, Player Attack Strength: 18;
Last Prefecta Stamina: 4, Player Stamina: 15
Round 2: Last Prefecta Attack Strength: 11, Player Attack Strength: 15;
Last Prefecta Stamina: 2, Player Stamina: 15
Round 3: Last Prefecta Attack Strength: 8, Player Attack Strength: 15;
Last Prefecta Stamina: 0, Player Stamina: 15[/spoiler]

As expected, Jang Mistral flawlessly slaughters the Last Prefecta.

400
And so your mission ends successfully; single-handed, you have saved the galaxy! After several minor adventures, you reach the surface of Aarok and, piloting a disused spaceship, return to Ensulina. Several months later, when Aarok has been decontaminated and set in order, you return there at the head of a large colonizing fleet. In the Dome of Marvels, the Grand Emperor himself will crown you – galactic superhero, and first ruler of New Aarok. Soon, you will begin a long and just reign over a billion people …

Bonus victory entry:
To thunderous applause and countless cheers, Jang Mistral rises with the most beautiful crown on his head. He then makes a vow in the proudest voice that he can muster.

“As your new ruler, I promise a fair and safe life to all who reside in New Aarok. In this world, dictators are not welcome and will be eliminated on sight. The truth shall always stand tall, and racism shall be eradicated! May we take the first footsteps to a just society!”

Jang Mistral basks in the renewed shouts of celebration, and the Grand Emperor himself smiles and lays a shoulder on the solar trooper’s shoulder.

After many trials and tribulations, we genuinely managed to accomplish finishing this adventure to the very end. By the skin of my own teeth, I might add. Give yourselves huge amounts of praise, as we got through a very difficult Fighting Fantasy gamebook! And we can finally add this one to our “done” collection and never hear of that book again.

While it was not as difficult as Crypt of the Sorcerer, the story in this book was far worse than that book offered. In fact, I believe that this is the worst Fighting Fantasy book from a storytelling point of view. Hell, there are *countless* sci-fi books that are better than this piece of total garbage. Seriously, I would rather play Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties on the 3DO than subject myself to reading this book’s contents one more time. And I am sure that many of you have similar feelings. This is a prime example on the need to playtest and proofread before publishing the manuscript.

I will start a new thread for the next book that I just acquired very soon. Thank you all for playing, and I hope to see all of you in my next Let’s Play. The next book has a much more reasonable difficulty than Sky Lord was, so I do hope that we can have an enjoyable experience there!

Adventure Sheet:
[spoiler]Jang Mistral
SKILL: 11 Initial Skill = 12
STAMINA: 15 Initial Stamina = 24
LUCK: 5 Initial Luck = 12
RATING: 7
CREDITS: 0 Initial = 10
OXYGEN SUPPLY POINTS: 10 Initial = 10
NOTES AND ITEMS:
1 Provision Tablet
Flask of Strong Acid
Bottle of Acid
Infra-red Sensor Helmet
RESURRECTIONS: 0[/spoiler]

Space Combat Sheet:
[spoiler]STARSHIP: STARSPRAY
DATA: 4 HIGH POWER LASERS L
8 FORCE SHIELD PODS S
YOUR VEHICLES:
None[/spoiler]

[Queen of Swords]

Thanks for hosting this!

He forces out a final word. No! They can’t be that! Surely not! Well, what does it matter anyway.

This really sums up the book, doesn't it? Dramatic! Especially with all the exclamation marks! Except what does it mean? Not clear. And our character shrugs this information off because it doesn't matter anyway (so the author conveniently didn't need to think of what this "perfect organism" might be).

I'm not surprised that Sky Lord killed off the sci-fi trend in FF. Thankfully we never encountered the cosmic jellyfish or Fog Farkin, because the book was ridiculous enough as it was. The only thing I like about it is the cover, which stands out because of the bright yellow background, and the creature on it looks nicely alien, but the story's complete lack of cohesion and plausibility makes me relieved it's over.

[Thaluikhain]

It's a shame that this book was so awful, because we have 4 arms and come with electro-javelins. That's not something you see too often, could have done something with that. Bits of it could have been better if rewritten, I misremembered fighting the orange blob as being able to use only 4 items (one for each hand) and so having 4 arms was relevant, which, IMHO, would have been better.

But no...bleh.

Still, thanks for running it.

‘Hey, hey!’ says one. ‘What’s this – a snoop? I’m jabbin’ m’ blabber to those Prefecta dudes, or m’bonnet’ll roll!’

...

‘Wow!’ cries Zap. ‘Cool, man-thing!’ shouts Brag. ‘Rock my cosmic marbles!’ says the third, slapping his companion’s paws. ‘This is terrifico! OK, we’ll keep the beat box, and you can space out o’ here.’

Sigh.

The Daleks did the same thing to Davros, didn't they?

One of the things we can use to fight the orange blob is a sonic screwdriver, so that might not be a coincidence.

[SGamerz]

This was actually the only book in the series which I read but could never finish reading back in the days. No other FF book had turned me off that badly. But weirdly, many years later, now I actually find the experience slightly more entertaining than of Chasms of Malice. The sheer random bizarreness of the former helps it stands out more than the sheer monotony of the latter.

That's the best I can say about it.

Fog Farkin

I was almost tempted to ask, but decided that I don't really want to know...

[angelfromanotherpin]

You have to know.

'Fearless' Fog Farkin is a brutal mob boss who was sentenced to a thousand years of imprisonment. Even though his prison is encasement inside a solid obsidian modern art installation, and even though he is a ruby-colored horse-headed no-armed claw-footed alien species (called a Chog), he is still dressed in a traditional pre-WW2 british prison uniform for some reason. His weapon of choice is to cover your face with his gluey tongue, at which point the Sonic drowning music starts and you enter a choice maze to try to get free before you are suffocated/clawed to death.

Anyway, I appreciate what the author was trying to do a little more now, because this book actually makes total sense from the context of the british sci-fi comics scene. It really does read like a C-tier feature from an 1980s run in 2000 AD magazine, when an author couldn't stick the signature fusion of srs business and out-there absurdism, which some people can make work, but many cannot. I don't fault the author for trying and failing, I fault the editors and publishers who let this thing get past them and out among the public.

[Beroli]

Thanks for running this, JourneymanN00b. Impressive job on estimating exactly how many resurrections it would take.

Also, why would anyone care what a thoroughgoing waste of space like L'Bastin considers "perfect"? Other than to watch that species for aggressive and genocidal tendencies, I suppose.

[JourneymanN00b]

Thanks for running this, JourneymanN00b. Impressive job on estimating exactly how many resurrections it would take.

Also, why would anyone care what a thoroughgoing waste of space like L'Bastin considers "perfect"? Other than to watch that species for aggressive and genocidal tendencies, I suppose.

Appreciate all of the thanks that many of you have given me. It makes hosting these Let's Plays worthwhile. I sort have gotten lucky on deciding how many resurrections are needed to win the game. It could have easily ended much earlier had we run into another fatal decision that would have been easy to make.

And L'Bastin's point of view on what he considers to be perfect was a poorly-run hook to interest players. Nobody cares at that point of the story, as almost every reader is brain dead and wants something different then.