Lets Play - Can You Brexit?

Mr Shine · Post by **Mr Shine** » Mon Jun 10, 2019 3:27 pm

Get the briefing. There may be a game-specific clue in there.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:28 pm

Hmm, that’s actually a good point. That being said I don’t want to force a tie. Half a vote for briefing.

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Mon Jun 10, 2019 7:41 pm

Briefing.

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Wed Jun 12, 2019 11:38 am

In case my vote wasn't clear, I was for briefing too. I figured that will give more content before we set off, but I realize that might be too vague.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Thu Jun 13, 2019 12:27 pm

(Sorry about the wait, bad bug)

225

Who knew quitting the European Union could be so complicated? You have an army of civil servants, ministers, special advisers and consultants who are positively queuing up to give you advice. And even if they fail you, there’s always anecdotal evidence and hearsay to fall back on. What do you want to find out about?

For a briefing about Britain’s exit payments...
For a discussion about future trade deals with the EU...
To consider the status of EU citizens already living here...
To seek divine inspiration as to the risks and benefits of calling a general election...
To consider security and defence issues...
Who has time for planning? Action is what’s needed now...

angelfromanotherpin · Thu Jun 13, 2019 12:57 pm

Well, since we're here, take all briefings in the order they're offered.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:17 pm

Agreed.

Mr Shine · Post by **Mr Shine** » Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:40 pm

I'm guessing we only have a limited window to view briefings, so I'd like advice on calling an election.

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Sat Jun 15, 2019 4:40 am

Taking all the briefings if possible, but if order matters than on election first.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:09 pm

(I don't think order matters, so:)

If you have the keyword APRICITY...

If not but you have the keyword BLEAK...

If the Exit Fee is marked as complete...

If not...

The question of Britain’s outstanding financial obligations to the EU has been referred to the International Court.

The risk is that the ruling may award more to the EU than you might have been able to negotiate across the table in Brussels. On the other hand, whatever the ruling you can sell it to the voters as a case of dastardly foreigners conspiring against Britain.

‘Prepare some minutes from the exit fee talks, Terri,’ you tell your press secretary.

‘They’re all typed up, Prime Minister.’

‘Well retype them. And leave a space for the sum the EU were asking for. Whatever the court’s decision, the minutes should quote a figure £10 billion higher. Then we can leak that to the press after the ruling.’

‘Falsify the minutes?’ She looks perturbed. Perhaps she doesn’t have the backbone for this job.

‘We’ll leave it a few days, let the story simmer, then we’ll deny it and present the real minutes. The EU can’t accuse us of lying, but the public will be sure to believe the dirtier version.’

If EU Trade Talks are marked as complete...If not...

411
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If the box above is not highlighted, do so now and...

774

You find yourself mulling over the shape of a trade deal with the EU as you sit down to another breakfast meeting. You seem to be having a lot of these early starts lately, and working into the small hours too. If only you could add another hour to the day. The thought makes you give a yelp of near-hysterical laughter, swiftly suppressed. An extra hour? Crazy, of course. Impossible. But then, so is negotiating a satisfactory Brexit in less than two years.

Wilkins glides in and puts a menu in front of you. ‘What will you have, prime minister?’

Perhaps the Scottish smoked salmon and scrambled egg.
Or the traditional English breakfast.
On the other hand, the continental looks a lot healthier.
You’re always partial to maple syrup on pancakes.

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:07 pm

A traditional English breakfast is genuinely superior to all the other options presented.

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:11 pm

I really hope you mean politically superior. Sure.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:37 pm

English breakfast will look good to some English people while (presumably) not annoying anyone else. So go with that.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:44 am

You put a hand to your chin in thought. Sausages from Lincolnshire, it says on the menu. One of the most strongly Leave counties in the country. And the Cumbrian bacon… Cumbria was even more Europhobic than Lincolnshire. Is this some kind of breakfast themed omen?

Today’s the day you have a conference call with Jean-Jacques Terlamen, President of the EU Commission. You’ve promised to outline the UK’s position on the possibility of some kind of Norwegian model of Brexit that they have suggested we look at.

Joining the European Economic Area would almost certainly not go down well in Cumbria or Lincolnshire. On the other hand, we really need access to the EU markets in some shape or form, and the Scots would be on board, as would the City. But those Lincolnshire sausages... How can you sell a Brexit where nothing changes much except that we have even less say in the way things are run than we did before? Maybe it’s time to bring home the bacon to Cumbria, even it the economy does take a hit.

There’s a knock on the door and Wilkins ushers in three of your senior ministers. Alan Stollard strolls in looking more like a Labour leader from the seventies than the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

He’s holding a leather briefcase that’s virtually bursting at the seams with documents and files.

He nods at you. ‘Morning, Prime Minister,’ He sits and meticulously lays out neat piles of documents across the table in front of him before reaching for the breakfast menu.

Behind him comes the International Trade Minister, Leslie Barkwell. He’s looking dapper and well-coiffeured, with a finely tailored suit and a bright blue tie with small polka dots. His tie actually reminds you of the EU flag, which is odd, given that Barkwell is a die-hard Brexiter.

He smiles at you politely, and with his usual facetious over-courtesy asks permission to sit. You nod. He sits, rather primly, straight backed, hands folded neatly in front of him, eyes focused on you. He looks like a burglar whose brief has made him put on a suit to appear before the judge.

After him comes Denis Dent, the Secretary of State of the newly created Ministry of Exiting the EU. Blue suit, red tie, grinning the whole time. His hair white as snow and neatly cut. Red tie, blue suit, white hair – a walking Union Jack. He strides to his chair and sits purposefully.

‘Morning, gentlemen,’ you say, glancing at your watch. ‘Just need another minute or two.’

‘Peter running late again, eh?’ says Barkwell.

You nod ruefully. Stollard raises his eyes. Dent chuckles.

The door bursts open and in stumbles Peter Strewel, the Foreign Secretary.

‘Cripes, chums, sorry I’m late!’ he says loudly, as he straggles his way to his seat, a wallet folder under one arm. His suit’s a dishevelled mess and his hair resembles a wig made from the hair of an albino orang-utan, although you know it’s real. He bundles into his chair, looking like some kind of bloated cloth-headed doll.

One of the Downing Street staffers comes forward. ‘I’ll have the continental,’ says Stollard, handing her his menu.

‘Nothing for me, thank you,’ says Barkwell. ‘I’ve eaten already.’

Dent grins up at the waitress. ‘Scrambled eggs, no salmon for me, thank you.’ He turns to Strewel.

‘English breakfast, by golly!’ says Strewel, slamming his fist down on the table and rattling the plates and cutlery.

You sigh and reach for the coffee. This could be a long morning.

630

‘Might as well get this show on the road, eh?’ says Strewel.

The hush of an angel passing. No one seems in a particular hurry to get the ball rolling.

‘Prime Minister, why don’t you start by telling us your thinking?’ asks Barkwell after a few moments. Dent and Stollard look at you expectantly. What will you say?

‘Clearly our highest priority should be remain within the single market.’
‘Our interests are best served by forging a new bespoke trade arrangement.’
‘While we obviously cannot accept the terms the EU would impose for staying in the single market, we could opt for membership of the European Customs Union.’

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Tue Jun 18, 2019 11:55 am

Suggest new bespoke trade arrangement

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Wed Jun 19, 2019 3:41 pm

Agreed.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:29 am

836

The Chancellor throws you a warning look. ‘That’s a lot to get into in a morning meeting, Prime Minister.’

For once Barkwell and he are on the same page. ‘The Department for International Trade has a number of proposals to make about our future outside the single market. I’d like more time to present those properly.’

‘Very well. We’ll resume this discussion at a later date. Thank you, gentlemen.’

Ask the Chancellor to stay behind for a chat.
You have other urgent business to take care of

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Thu Jun 20, 2019 11:32 am

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:56 pm

Chat him up.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:13 am

348

Your hope is that a private chat with just the Chancellor might shed some light on the murkier issues. At the very least, the atmosphere in the room is less prickly once the Three Brexiteers have left.

On your Brexit Memo Pad:
-1% Authority: the Chancellor is known as a Remain sympathizer, and the others distrust what you are going to talk about with him.

‘In the War of Independence, American commanders had political officers assigned to watch them for signs of ideological wavering. Same thing in the Russian Revolution.’

Stollard is an old friend. You catch his drift. ‘We need to be able to look at all this with a clear eye,’ you assure him. ‘Can’t rule anything out. It’s a big ship in a big storm, and here we are on the bridge. You’ve seen The Caine Mutiny.’

‘Wasn’t the lesson of that movie that moral courage is in short supply?’

‘Just us and the four walls, Alan. Let’s leave ideology out of it. I need honest answers.’

‘All right. Ask away.’

‘What do you think about the long-term consequences of Brexit?
‘Is there any way for Britain to stay in the single market?’
‘What should we be prioritizing in the negotiations?’
‘What are the risks if we go it alone?’

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:23 am

‘What should we be prioritizing in the negotiations?’

We already know roughly what the answers are to the other three questions. What we need is triage. What are the things that the country absolutely can't do without?

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Jun 21, 2019 12:44 pm

Agreed.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Sat Jun 22, 2019 4:30 am

98

‘Services are definitely the most important issue for us. That’s 80% of our economy. Now, the future favours us here – perhaps, a little bit anyway. The usual drop-off of trade with distance might not be such an issue in an era of tele-working and international consultancy. But people like to see a face, and not just on a crackly Skype call either. You still hear people in the City saying, “Don’t do business until you’ve been to their office.”‘

‘Europe will still be just over there. So you’re saying we need a deal that prioritises services. There aren’t off the shelf models for that?’

‘Raw European Free Trade Area rules don’t make any provision for access to EU service markets. It wasn’t designed for that purpose.’

‘But Norway has free trade in services with the EU.’

‘Because it’s in the European Economic Area, not because it’s in EFTA.’

‘And Switzerland – ‘

‘Has limited access for services, because it’s negotiated that deal specially, and with no provision for passporting in financial services. That’s why a lot of Swiss banks trade through London. And financial services are 12% of our GDP, by the way, so unless you just want to stuff it to London and Edinburgh you really need to focus on those.’

‘We may need a solution outside of the EEA. I’m not sure I can sell freedom of movement even at the Swiss level.’

‘Potentially we might be able to do a free trade deal for services that works out well for Britain and the EU yet satisfies the EU Commission that we’re not getting an overall better package than membership itself. That would be good, but hard to pull off under WTO regulations because free trade agreements must remove “substantially all” trade restrictions between the parties. In practice that means 90% of restrictions at least. A sectoral deal that just covered services could be challenged by any WTO member.’

‘Other than the general free-for-all of the WTO, what are the other risks of going it alone?’
‘Let’s pick this up later.’

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Sat Jun 22, 2019 5:04 am

Ask about the other risks.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sat Jun 22, 2019 5:19 pm

I mean, the two options appear to be "get more info" or "get no more info" and I think we already paid the price for talking to this guy at the start with the Authority hit. So yeah, ask about the other risks.