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Shrapnelís Review Corner

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Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:33 pm    Post subject: Shrapnelís Review Corner Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Hi, folks. Itís snowing like a bitch up here in Boston, and thereís like seven feet of snow in front of the door, so Iím trapped inside my house with nothing to do or eat.

... okay, not really. Itís more like a foot and a half or so, but the roads are bad and the T is running slow and nothing is open, so Iím homebound for the day. So, to pass the time, I figuered Iíd pull an OAFE and review things that only I find interesting (toys and collectibles and shit), minus the smug sense of false intellectual superiority. Basically think of it as OSSRís for plastic playthings. Except not all of the things are old school. Or books.

Also, I apologize for the lack of professional quality with the photos, they were taken by a chimp.

Anywhat, letís start with something that isnít a toy!

Behold, the 2017 Magic: The Gathering HasCon Collection Promo Set!

I picked this up at HasCon not because I like or play M:tG, but solely because one of the cards is Grimlock. How could I pass that up?

The set contains four cards, from three Hasbro properties: D&D (which probably fits into the M:tG universe best), Transformers (which fits in with anything), and... Nerf.

Letís start with the best card, first, shall we?

GRIMLOCK!!!!!!1!!!!! The quote on the left, by the way, comes from the movie, and the one on the right from the classic episode ďGrimlockís New BrainĒ. Also, this pic comes from TFwiki, hence the quality. No other pic or photo will look this good ever again, so savor it.

Something you M:tG players may have noticed is that this card, and all the others, have silver borders, meaning they are illegal in tournament play. Nuts, I say, nuts to that.

Another thing you may have noticed is that this card is double sided, and you switch sides by literally actually converting a Transformer toy. If you donít own any Transformers toys, than you donít deserve good things.

Now, I have no idea if there are other Dinosaur or Vehicle cards, but I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that there are other Transformer cards to take advantage of robot mode Grimlockís buffs, and I donít want anyone to tell me otherwise. Iím quite serious about this.

The dino mode of the card has the ability Trample, which... I have no idea what that does. Like I said, I donít play the game, but Iím sure someone will chime in to explain it. I also donít know what the numbers and symbols are/mean. Are they good? Are they bad? Everyone here but me knows!

Next up is the Sword of Dungeons and Dragons and the Dragon token card!

I lied about there being no more quality images, because the images that I took refuse to be uploaded. Fucking internet. Aside: the artist who did the Dragon card is named ďAutumn Rain TurkelĒ, which is either awesome or weird. I havenít decided which, yet.

So here, then, is the representative of the D&D property universe. Is there a sword actually called the ďSword of Dungeons and DragonsĒ in D&D? Probably not. Maybe not. I dunno, I donít play D&D much either. STOP EXPECTING THINGS FROM ME!

Anyway, this card has you roll a d20 for itís special effect, which finally combines the excitement and thrill of rolling dice with the non-stop action of a trading card game! Wooo!

... Sorry, had to get the snark out. Now, this cards secondary effect sounds like itís good, because being able to summon an extra fighter every time you attack with the chance to do it again seems awesome. But I donít really know for sure if it is. I do like that the hilt of the sword incorporates the ampersand from the DnD logo, and that the pommel is a d20. Wouldíve been better as d30...

And now, the final card, Nerf War!

This is the quality you can expect for the most part. Could I have just gone to some other site to find a better pic? Yes, I could have done, but I took the (minimal) damn effort to take these damn photos, dammit!

When I first saw this set on HasConís site, I thought that the Nerf card featured zombies fighting with Nerf guns, instead of goblins, because the resolution on the HasCon sites photo was shit. Goblins are fine, but zombies wielding foam dart weapons of death wouldíve been METAL.

Anyway, this card has you fire a Nerf gun at your opponents deck, and any cards that get knocked off are sent to the graveyard, while dealing a whopping 1/2 damage. Now I KNOW this one is a good one because Darth told me so! This may actually be my favorite card from the set, because of how ridiculous and fun itís effect is, and I love how the card specifies ďfoam darts onlyĒ, instead of of, yíknow, the Teflon-coated ďCop KillerĒ bullets that Nerf blasters usually come with.

I know that it sounds surprising that my favorite wouldnít be Grimlock, and heís awesome and all, but Nerf War is definitely the funnest card. I mean, címon, it has you firing a toy gun at a deck of cards! What is there NOT to love about that?

Thereís one final thing. The package proclaims that the set comes with a poster. This is it:

This isnít a poster, itís a fucking cardboard insert! False advertising bastards.

Not very suitable for framing, is it? What a piece of crap!

Anyway, thatís the set. Four cards and a ďposterĒ, which I paid about... 50 bucks for, maybe? I dunno, it was back in September, I canít remember that far back.

Final Analysis!

Quality: Theyíre the same as any other M:tG card, only holofoil. The only thing that really brings this set down is that goddamn non-poster. 9.

Creativity: Combining three of Hasbroís properties with M:tG was a really fun idea, and these cards, especially the Nerf War card, really capture the spirit of fun multi-branded intellectual properties meshing together that HasCon represents. 10.

Weirdness: Címon, firing a Nerf blaster at a deck of cards? Instant win, baby! 10.

Packaging: The set came in a pretty nice box, which is excellect for displaying on a shelf or cat, and the cards can be taken out of the box and put back without having to destroy anything, which is the ideal when it comes to convention exclusive packages. 10

Replacement: These cards canít be used in official tournament play, and not everyone will have the requirements for their effects (a d20, a Transformer toy, and a Nerf blaster). These were clearly intended to be fun display pieces than used in a game. But if you want to have some fun while playing M:tG, then these are perfect. 6.

And the Shrapnel Review Cornerís Overall Score is... 10! I donít play M:tG, but this is a nice set to have as a display piece, and I just love the Nerf War card. And who knows, maybe I can find someplace to tack the the cardboard poster insert.

And thatís that for the first review in Shrapnelís Review Corner! I may or may not do more, depending on many factors such as my current mood, the phases of the moon, and how many baths Bon Jovi took the past week.

Iíve finally decided: Autumn Rain Turkel is an awesomely weird name.
"Keep Calm and Freak the Fuck Out"

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Joined: 18 Aug 2010
Posts: 11452

PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2018 2:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I'm not quite sure when it happened, but at least sometime around Unglued or Portal, Wizards abandoned the idea that players could potentially throw down with any and all combinations of Magic cards from any set, so balance concerns were localized to the current sets and everything else could just
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