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[Let's Play] Grailquest 3: The Gateway of Doom
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SGamerz
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 12:32 pm    Post subject: [Let's Play] Grailquest 3: The Gateway of Doom Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List



Welcome to the playthrough of Book 3 of the Grailquest series! If you've played or following the last game, then you'll have a good idea of what this book is about. The plot continues from Book 2 as, having slain the Brass Dragon that entered this world through the Gateway to the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead, it now remains for Pip to close the Gateway itself!

Let's begin, as usual, with the opening address from Merlin:

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SORCERY ALREADY
Quote:
Sit still and pay attention. Otherwise this book may kill you. Probably several times.

It's a magic book.

This book is one long spell. One long exercise in sorcery. One long operation of wizardry. One mighty memorandum of magic.

My magic.

My name is Merlin.

I'm also dead, but don't let that disturb you. I'm not a ghost. I'm just talking to you from another Time. I was (am) perfectly alive in that other Time. Perfectly fit and healthy for a man of my age. Which is quite old. In my Time they call me Merling the Druid. Or the Wizard Merlin. Or Merlin the Magician.

I am casting a spell.

Specifically, I am casting a spell over you.

Don't panic. It's a nice spell. It will help you visit my Time. You're quite famous in my Time. In my Time you were (are) called Pip and you're a bit of a hero. They call you Pip the Wizard Basher. And Pip the Dragonslayer.

In my Time you live quite near to Camelot. Which is near Glastonbury and where King Arthur has his Court. You remember King Arthur? You know him quite well in my Time. Quite intimately. And he knows you, which is more to the point. I shouldn't be surprised if he asks you to join the Round Table soon.

Especially is you manage to close the Gateway to the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead.

But before you can do that, you have to come back to my Time.

And before you can do that, you'll need dice. Ordinary dice. Six sides and spots. Two of them. (Or one if you can't find two.) And paper. And pencil. And a rubber. (They called them rubbers in my Time. In your Time they call them erasers.)

Go get your equipment together and turn the page.


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Quote:
Now let's explain what's going on. When the spell works--if it works--your mind will come back to my Time. When it reaches my Time it will occupy another body, the body of a young person, a young hero, called Pip.

When you're in Pip's body, you won't be able to carry on the way you do now. Not exactly. You'll be able to get into trouble all right and have adventures and find gold and get yourself killed all right, but only if you go about it the right way. Which is the way I'm going to explain.

(If you forget any of my explanations, don't worry. They're all down on the card at the back of the book. All my spell books have that sort of card. Saves a lot of trouble.)

But before I can do that, I need you in my Time...


Yes, as stated, there are rule cards at the back of every book. I neglected to post them for the last book, since they were almost identical with the first book except for 2 things: the addition of spells, and the fact that Bribery was for some reason not available as an option to avoid battles.
In this book there are more changes. More spells will be added, Bribery makes a return. There's also a new stat and new rules regarding equipment that are for some reason not listed in the rule card for this book. :/

Anyway, all those will be gone through in detail later in the text, but here's the card:

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To continue the narration:

THE MONDAY MEETING OF THE TABLE ROUND
Quote:
Monday meetings of the Table Round were not usually up to very much. It was the weekend that did it. Unless there was a war on or a bad season for dragons, most Knights took the weekend off. All but the most urgent Quests were quietly postponed. Notes were sent off to distressed maidens advising them to hang in there just a little longer. Wrongs that could not be righted by the Friday night were scheduled for attention as early as possible in the coming week. The weekend itself was devoted to Pleasure.

At least that's what the Knights called it. Normal human beings might have called it something else, but normal human beings had very little say in the affairs of the Realm in the days of King Arthur. It was the King who ran the show; and under him the Knights. What the Knights did at weekends was hunt and joust and wassail and carouse.

Of these various Pleasures, wassailing and carousing were by far the most lethal. In a joust or a hunt, you usually went fully armoured, which protected you pretty well against boars' tusks or opposition lances. But on Saturday night when you went off wassailing and carousing, it was considered very bad form to wear full armour--or any armour at all. So you put on your best linen tunic and fresh leggings and a new pair of boots and rode off lickety-spit for the nearest tavern where you wassailed and caroused until the landlord's daughter threw you out.

(The landlord himself could not throw you out, of course, since as a Knight you were Gentry and as a landlord, he was only Trade. But in the Age of Chivalry, no Knight would dream of refusing a request from a gentle maiden, so landlords would wink at their daughters who would take you by the ear and out you would be, in the pouring rain.)

As you can readily appreciate, anyone who spends a weekend wassailing and carousing can't expect to be in peak condition come Monday morning. Which explains why the Monday morning meetings of the Table Round were always such a mess.

They never started on time for one thing. King Arthur would enter the huge meeting hall promptly as ten to find the only person in attendance was the Senior Polisher, whose duty it was to maintain the high sheen of the table top.

For want of anything better to do, the King would examine the newly-polished surface of his Table Round. It really was a beautiful example of the craftman's art. The main body of the Table was oak, of course, but teak inlays marked it precisely into twelve segments, each marked with a Zodiac Sign--Aries, Taurus, Gemini and so on all the way round to Aquarius. The original idea--thought up by that old fool Merlin, of course--was that Arthur would choose twelve trusty Knights, each with a different Birth Sign, thus ensuring strict astrological balance. But it had never worked out in practice.

Before Arthur established chivalry, Camelot had been a rather wild place. Half the Knights in the realm hardly knew where they had been born, let alone when, so that the astrological calculation of their Sun Signs proved totally impossible even to a skilled practitioner like Merlin, and the Table Round had become so popular it was evident that the membership would never stop at twelve. Nor did it. Now whenever there was a large attendance (seldom on a Monday morning) the Knights just sat anywhere they pleased, all squished up together to fit round the Table's rim.

But on this particular Monday morning, things were different. It was still a full five minutes before the Roman waterclock would dribble out the hour of ten, yet the Chamber of the Table Round was already packed to capacity. The King was there, of course, so too were all the important Knights--Lancelot, Galahad, Bedevere, Mordred, even Pellinore who had never been known to attend a Monday meeting of the Table, let alone arrive early for one.

The reason for this strange development was that there was a crisis on.


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THE BLASTED OAK
Quote:
While King and Knights of Avalon met in the turret chamber of the Table Round, another meeting of a very different sort was going on in a very different setting.

About five miles as the crow flies from the Court at Camelot, a huge oak tree had grown for centuries beside a crossroads. Because they are easy to find, crossroads are often used as meeting places for lovers, or farmers, or gossipers and a few even become unofficial fairgrounds as wandering peddlers found them a convenient place to sell their wares. Minstrels tended to congregate at crossroads and sing ballads about deeds of valour. But nobody ever gathered at the Crossroads of the Oak. It had a very nasty reputation.

The Oak itself had been blasted by lightning sometime in the dim and distant past, with the result that it no longer leafed and presented a monstrous silhouette against the skyline, particularly at night. Then there was the fact that the crossroads had been used as the site of a gibbet until King Arthur outlawed public hangings and was consequently believed to be haunted by the spirits of several generations of criminals who had been hanged, drawn and quartered there. Then there was the swamp, which produced marsh gas, which in turn sometimes ignited, particularly in summer, to produce those eerie floating lights rural people call Will O' The Wisps. And then there were the coloured flashes often seen to emanate from the blasted oak itself--flashes for which there was no natural explanation whatsoever, not even marsh gas. So people kept away, for fear of losing their lives or their souls.

At least most people kept away. On this misty, eerie, chilly Monday morning, there was one idiot who kept wandering in circles calling loudly, 'Hello... Hello... Hello....'

The idiot's name was Pip.


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MERLIN'S LAIR
Quote:
'Hello...' you call. 'Hello... Hello... Is anybody there?'

You are only vaguely aware of how you got to this ghastly, mist-enshrouded place and not at all aware of what you are supposed to do now you're here. Merlin said he would meet you here. Or somewhere here. But there's not a soul in sight and absolutely nothing of interest to explore: no landmarks at all except the desolate crossroads itself and the remains of an absolutely gigantic ancient oak tree no longer in the land of living vegetables.

'Hello... Hello... Is anybody there? Is anybody here?'

A small milestone cut with Roman numerals tells you how far you are from Camelot. (Too far!) Since the information isn't much use to you, you sit on the stone and wait. The mist is very chill: it soaks into your leggings and creeps past the ties of your jerkin to absorb the heat of your body despite the woollens your adoptive mother, the Goodwife Miriam (or Mary, as she prefers) insisted you wore for this little outing.

'Hello,' you call, beginning to wonder if you are in the right place at all. For want of anything better to do, you kick a stone near your foot. Underneath it, to your horror, is a snake.

You're in trouble already and the adventure hasn't even started! No equipment, no magic, no weapons except old EJ--Excalibur Junior--your trusty sword from earlier adventures and you've left him toasting his pommel by the fire in your farmhouse home near Camelot. Will you try to reason with the snake? (Go to 8). Run like blazes? (Go to 20). Strangle it with your bare hands? (Go to 30). As always, the choice is yours--after all, it was you who got yourself into this mess.


How do we deal with the snake?
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Darth Rabbitt
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

We’re not likely to roll less on three dice than the snake is on one, and we have none of our gear. Run from the snake, unless we can use magic on it (but the text seems to indicate that we can’t.)
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Thaluikhain
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Running away would be smarter, but talking to the snake seems more fun, so I vote for that.
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SlyJohnny
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Last time we whimsically engaged an animal in conversation, we got murdered by chickens. Run.

Although it's probably Merlin and the decision doesn't matter.
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Omegonthesane
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Talk to the snake. The first choice in the book isn't going to kill us, especially when it can't be spun as stripping all our loot.
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And if there are any weeds that grow better in barren soil than laziness and ignorance, I don't know what they are (and don't care enough to find out).
Kaelik wrote:
Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
FrankTrollman wrote:
As far as death and human misery goes, Tobacco is basically World War II grinding on forever with no real sign of stopping in our life times. Death camps and nuclear bombs and stuff are certainly dramatic, but public health crises are always and forever bigger than wars on the global scale.


Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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SGamerz
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Pip talks to the snake:

Quote:
'Now look here, my dear snake,' you begin with an air of confidence. 'You and I are both reasonable people--well, one of us is a reasonable people: you're a reptile, aren't you? What I mean is we're both reasonable. A reasonable person and a reasonable reptile respectively. And as reasonable--look, let's agree to think of us as people. Or reptiles, if you think that's better. We're both reasonable reptiles, so there's absolutely no logical--'

The snake, Pip, is now crawling up your leg. Are you SURE you want to reason with it? You can still run by going to 20 or strangle it with your bare hands by going to 30. But if you insist on reasoning with it, turn to 40.


Apparently, choosing to run away despite the snake being already on our leg doesn't make much of a difference, since the section number hasn't changed for that.

Are we sure this is a reasonable snake?
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Darth Rabbitt
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

This kind of "are you sure" prompt is usually a bluff. Reason with the snake.
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Omegonthesane
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Reason with the snake, all we have to lose is a note on the character sheet.
_________________
FrankTrollman wrote:
And if there are any weeds that grow better in barren soil than laziness and ignorance, I don't know what they are (and don't care enough to find out).
Kaelik wrote:
Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
FrankTrollman wrote:
As far as death and human misery goes, Tobacco is basically World War II grinding on forever with no real sign of stopping in our life times. Death camps and nuclear bombs and stuff are certainly dramatic, but public health crises are always and forever bigger than wars on the global scale.


Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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SGamerz
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Quote:
'What I am really trying to say,' you continue, your voice rising slightly with hysteria as the snake slithers all the way up your leg and crawls on to your lap, 'is that we must approach this situation sensibly, like adults. Not that I am suggesting for a moment you are not an adult. Or, indeed, that you are. I am not actually expert on snakes. Not that I have anything against snakes. Some of my best friends are...'

'Do stop talking nonsense,' remarks the snake. 'We'll have to listen to quite enough rubbish when we go to Camelot without you starting it now.'

'You can talk!' you exclaim. 'You're a talking snake!'

'I'm a talking wizard in the shape of a snake,' says the snake grumpily. 'There's a lot of difference between the two.'

'Merlin?' you ask hesitantly.

'Of course, Merlin. Who ever heard of an English grass-snake with a Welsh accent?'

'Excuse me, sir, but you're not a grass-snake--you're an adder.'

'Am I? Good thing I didn't bite you then. Now, I expect you'd be more comfortable if I was in my normal form...' The snake slithers off your lap, wriggles a short distance and, in a spectacular puff of pink smoke, changes to a tall old man in white robes and pointed hat. He strokes his white beard and stares at you with glittering blue eyes. 'You're late. There's no time to waste. Come with me.' And off he strides.

There's no sense arguing with an old fool, so you may as well follow him. He's headed for 55.


Turns out SlyJohnny was right when he speculated that the snake is probably Merlin....

Quote:
He's walking towards the oak tree. He's walking into the oak tree! There's a hole as broad and tall as yourself in the trunk of that huge old dead tree, Pip, and if Merlin has to stoop a little, he can still fit easily enough.

So you follow him, feeling like an overgrown squirrel.

Would you believe, he's had stairs put in! A sort of spiral staircase that winds upwards to the top of the tree and downwards into the bowels of the earth.

'Excuse me, sir,' you say hesitantly, 'but where are we going?'

'Down,' says Merlin brusquely. 'Up takes us to the obsevatory, but we won't be needing astrology at the moment.'

'Down into the roots?'

'Roots? You do rabbit on. Down to my living quarters, of course. My laboratory. My oraculum. My transmogrification chamber. My food store. My fuel store. My kitchens. My library. My...' But what else is down there must remain a mystery for the moment since he is already well down the spiral staircase and his voice is fading.

So he lives here, in this oak tree. An eccentric wizard to be sure, since you know he also lives (sometimes) in a log castle and (sometimes) in a crystal cave. But not wishing to be left behind, you follow him quickly--almost too quickly since the running round and round the spiral staircase makes you feel distinctly dizzy.

The staircase ends in a hallway and while there is no sign of Merlin you notice a doorway ajar and go in to find him seated at a table in the middle of a surprisingly comfortable room, hunched over a large crystal ball which is emitting a weird blue-green light.

'Look at this,' he says, gesturing you over, 'Look. Look.' He bends forward short-sightedly, his spindle of a nose only an ince away from the surface of the glowing crystal.

Across you go and peer into the crystal over his shoulder. To your surprise, it is rather like looking into a room through the wrong end of a telescope. And what an interesting room, for it is full of Knights and in the centre is a table that can only be the famous Table Round. The Knights seem very excited, for several of them are gesticulating wildly and most of the remainder show expressions of worry and concern. Only the King (whom you recognize instantly) appears calm.

'I wonder what they're saying,' you murmur absently.

'Just a moment,' Merlin says, 'I'll turn up the sound.' He makes a mystic pass over the crystal and at once a clamour of voices fills the room.

Turn to 1.


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Quote:
The chamber is in uproar. Mordred, who is a natural trouble-make, has made a snide remark to Galahad about the intelligence of his father. (In later life, of course, Galahad will become known as the Knight Parfait--the Perfect Knight. He will ride a white horse, wear pristine armour, right wrongs by the cartload and never swear or lose his temper or be even slightly discourteous. In short, he is destined to become an absolutely sickening individual. But at the time of this meeting, Galahad is still young.) He has just hit Mordred on the nose.

Mordred falls back on the toe of King Pellinore, a fiery old warhorse who pokes Mordred vigorously in the ribs. This action is noted by Sir Percival, a Knight with an interest in fair play, who takes King Pellinore to task for what he sees as an unwarranted action. Sir Lancelot (who is Galahad's father and besides loathes Mordred for several other reasons) proceeds to berate Sir Percival, while the King tries to make himself heard above the rumpus.

'Gentlemen!' King Arthur calls, pounding his fist on the table to restore order.

'Gentlemen. We are here, as you know, to discuss a crisis.'

('Now listen to this,' says Merlin as you stare into his crystal ball. 'Pay close attention because it concerns you. Or it will.')

'Most of you know the details already,' continues King Arthur, 'but for those of you who have been out of touch--' here he glances at King Pellinore, who is notoriously out of touch with most things. '--I will give a brief outline of the facts.'

'A little while ago our realm, as you know, came under attack by a Brass Dragon. That danger is no more. The beast is slain very efficiently as you are all aware. But the implications of the creature are still with us.

'There are, of course, several theories about the origins of Brass Dragons. Some people hold they result from a clutch of prehistoric eggs hatching out at intervals in the Welsh Mountains. Another school of thought suggests they fly in from the Moon. Yet another claims they are born in Hell. But the fact is, nobody is terribly sure. After the last one was dispatched, I took advice on the matter from the Druid Merlin who has made something of a study of such things. He is convinced they come from a curious region called the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead.'

('Of course they do. No doubt about it,' mutters Merlin.)

'In so far as a understand it,' King Arthur goes on, thankfully ignorant of the fact he is being spied on, 'this Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead does not exist in the way that, say, Scotland or Hibernia exist. The Druid Merlin considers it to be a sort of Underworld, an Abode of the Spirits such as the Greeks--'

('No, no. I knew he wasn't listening! It's a different dimension. A parallel world. Perfectly simple. Nothing to do with Greeks.')

'Be that as it may,' the King is saying, 'the important thing is that the appearance of the Brass Dragon proved there must be a gateway open between the Ghastly Kingdom and our realm. Such a gateway is a very dangerous thing indeed. Anything could come through it. More Brass Dragons. Imps. Wraiths. Wights. Anything. And even when nothing of the sort comes through, the Druid Merlin informs me that there is a wind--'

('I said radiation!' hisses Merlin.

'--which blows through constantly and influences events in our own land. This wind causes tempers to shorten and evil to flourish, undermines the foundations of Chivalry, affects the growth of crops, increases the incidence of accidents, encourages the spread of plague, leads to the proliferation of vermin and insects--'

('Especially fleas,' Merlin remarks, scratching.)

'--and generally does no good at all to anyone. The Gateway has remained open since the Brass Dragon was sighted. It remains open now, even though the Brass Dragon is no more. That is our problem, gentlemen. The question is, what do we do about it?'

'Close it,' says Sir Lancelot promptly.

'As you say,' King Arthur nods patiently, 'close the Gateway. But how?'

King Pellinore surprises everyone by looking up and saying gruffly and sensibly, 'We need a hero.'

'A hero?' asks Mordred.

'A hero.' Pellinore repeats. 'Somebody willing to risk life and limb to get the Gate closed. What about that Pip person who got rid of the dragon for us and did down old Wizard What's His Name?'

'Pip?' asks the King.

'Pip?' asks Sir Percival.

'Pip?' asks Mordred.

'Pip!' repeats Pellinore conclusively.

Turn to 21.


We met King Pellinore in Book 1. It's also possible to have met him in Book 2, in one of the cottages of Stonemarten Village. The remark about him being notoriously out of touch probably refers to him not being at Camelot (and wandering around lost somewhere) at the beginning of both books. If we'd met him in both books, then in Book 2 he would have given us a scroll (written by Ethelbert) that describes most the possible enemies we could have met in the Dragon Caverns, including the trolls, the dwarves, the Medusa, the Minotaur and the Wraith. If we only meet him in Book 2, then mistake him for the notorious evil Black Knight (the same that we did when we met him in Book 1).

PREPARING FOR ADVENTURE
Quote:
'You see,' says Merlin, turning away from the crystal ball which flickers a bit, then fades. 'I knew they'd get around to you eventually. Now we must get you prepared.'

If you have already been on a GrailQuest adventure, you can safely skip to 41. You'll know about LIFE POINTS and combat and weapons and armour and spells. (And if you've forgotten, you can always refresh your memory with the cut-out rule card that's included as a bookmark.)

Remember that if you have any money, treasure or magical weapons from previous adventures, you can bring them with you on this one. But if this is your first quest, then a bit of guidance may not come amiss.


I think we can safely skip most of the rest of this section, since they describe all the basic rules that are listed in the rules card and we'd been through them all at least once in the last 2 books' playthrough.

There is, however, one small section about money which is not in the rules card for some reason, so I'll include that here:

Quote:
Money

Since it's always useful to have a few gold pieces with you on an adventure, you can make s start by rolling two dice and multiplying the result by 10. This gives you your starting money in gold pieces.

Now turn to 41.


It's time to roll the dice! As the text mentioned, we should still have our stuff from previous books, so we can take advantage of the Luckstone for our rolls!

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First, as usual, we roll for Life Points:

1st roll = 4+3 = 7. (Bad roll)
2nd roll = 6+3 = 9. (Better, but still meh)
3rd roll = 5+3 = 8.

Damn, the dice are not feeling kind. Our Starting LP is 9x4 = 36......and we get to carry over Permanent LP that we earned in the last book, bringing it up to 38.

So....basically exactly the same as the end of the last book. I guess there's continuity. :/

Now for our starting gold:

Dice roll = 5+3 = 8!

We start with 80 gold pieces.

Still not having a lot of luck on the dice. Let's hope we'll do better for the next roll, as a new stat is going to be introduced....

Quote:
'Now first things fir--' Merlin stops abruptly, frowning. 'Where's your sword?'

'I--uh, I left it at home,' you admit guiltily. (Although why you should be feeling guilty is a mystery.)

'What a silly thing to do. Supposing you'd met a monster--what then? You'd be eaten, that's what. But never mind, I shall teleport it to you before we go.'

Go? Go where? But you don't dare ask yet.

'Now,' says Merlin briskly, 'you'd better sort out your equipment. I came into a little money from a grateful gnome the other day, so I don't have to charge you for it. But I'd better warn you not to load yourself down too much. This business with the Gateway has affected the Law of Gravity, so every item you carry will deduct one from your SPEED. You can find your basic SPEED right now by rolling two dice and doubling the result. Then deduct one from your answer for every item you decide to carry. If you drop below half SPEED for any reason, you can only strike every other turn in combat, so don't take too much. Now, roll up your stats and LIFE POINTS if you haven't done that already, then take your pick from this list...'

And he produces a parchment inventory of the following useful items:

INVENTORY

Axe
Artificial Aardvark
Backpack
Blanket
Bandages
Bookworm
Blue powder
Carpentry hammer
Cooking utensils* (counts as 4 off SPEED)
Container of oil
Climbing spikes
Change of clothes
Change of boots
Clickstick
Dog collar
Fish-hooks
Food rations* (counts as 4 off SPEED, but one LIFE POINT comes back each time you eat)
Gold braid
Harp
Healing potion (1 dose)
Hasp
Joke Book
Knife
Leather thong-thing
Lute
Parchment (12 sheets)
Powdered ink
Quill pen
Rope (15m coil)
Sack (per six)
Saw
Tent (counts as 5 off SPEED)
Tinderbox
Waterbag
Xylophone

'Excuse me, Merlin, sir,' you say politely, 'there are some items here I don't understand...'

'Really? Seems clear enough to me. What are they?'

'Well, the Artificial Aardvark for one thing...'

'A little invention of my own,' says Merlin proudly. 'It's a sort of mechanical mouse that eats ants.'

'What about the bookworm?'

'That's a worm that eats books--I should have thought you'd have known that.'

'But why...?' But Merlin is looking impatient, however, so you only ask, 'Blue powder?'

'Handy stuff that. You throw it behind you if you're being chased and if you roll a 6 or better on two dice, whatever's chasing you will slip and break it's neck. I can only spare enough for one use though.'

'Clickstick?' you ask.

'Another of my inventions. It enables you to communicate with crickets.'

This is getting sillier and sillier. 'Why should I want a gold braid, a joke book or a xylophone?'

'Why should you want a hammer or a saw?' Merlin asks in return.

'Because they might come in handy.'

'So might a gold braid, a joke book and a xylophone,' Merlin says dogmatically. 'Anything might come in handy in an adventure like this. But it's up to you what to take.'

So make your choice carefully, Pip, enter the details in your Quest Journal, then turn to 2 where Merlin has more surprises for you.


Dice roll = 9+3 = 12! Finally, a decent roll on the dice! Our SPEED is at 24, and we can carry up to 12 items before we get a penalty in combat.

As mentioned before, we can bring items from previous books, but with this new penalty on SPEED, our choices are more limited.

The rules card and the text in the previous section both state that our default kit starts with 3 bottles of Healing Potion (6 doses each) and 5 applications of salve. Without further explicit instructions in the text, I'd assume tat each bottle of potion takes up one equipment slot, and the salve (all 5 applications combined) takes up 1 slot by itself. The extra dose of potion in Merlin's list listed above counts as yet another separate item slot.

Of course, if we choose to just rely on our Snuffbox of Healing and leave all the potions & salve behind, we can probably save on a lot of slots.....

Also remember that we have EJ and the Dragonskin Jacket by default, and they take up slots too. These will ALWAY be with us (even if we die....after all, we always get them at the start of every book....except one...), so in reality we actually only have 10 free slots to play with.

Another thing: we have 3 tinglerings, 2 of which we were told apparently couldn't be removed. I'm including those on our default equipment (presumably they'll be gone if we get killed). If you guys think we should not be forced to take these and eat up 2 of our slots (I guess it's possible that Merlin found a way to remove them since), you can vote for that. I'll leave the choice to you.

Please vote on your starting EQ before we proceed!

(A minor potential benefit about starting with limited equipment is that if we die, we only lose the items we're carrying with us. So when we restart we can still pick up the items we left behind the previous time).

ITEMS FROM PREVIOUS BOOKS:
Luckstone (modifies all of Pip's dice rolls by 3 in his favour)
Double-headed Copper Coin (can be used to win any gambling games)
Tinglering
Magic Wooden Duck (can neutralize any magic once per book)
Globule Wand (roll 6+ during combat to hit, allows 4 free strikes before foe gets free), 4 charges remaining.
Backpack
Carpentry Hammer
Axe
Rope (15m coil)
Torches
Waterbag
Tent
Sack (six)
Blanket
Lamp
Container of oil
Climbing spikes
Fish-hooks
Harp
Horn
Bandages (15m roll)
Knife
Tinderbox
Stakes
Change of boots
Parchment
Quill and powdered ink
Food pack (10 days rations)
Cooking utensils
Healing Potion (4 doses)
War Hammer (+3 damage)
Daggers x4
Snuffbox of Healing (can restore 2D6 LP every new section)
Horseshoe
Large Key
Snake Venom Antidote
Wand from Darkness Monster

NEW ITEMS OFFERED BY MERLIN:
Axe
Artificial Aardvark
Backpack
Blanket
Bandages
Bookworm
Blue powder
Carpentry hammer
Cooking utensils* (counts as 4 off SPEED)
Container of oil
Climbing spikes
Change of clothes
Change of boots
Clickstick
Dog collar
Fish-hooks
Food rations* (counts as 4 off SPEED, but one LIFE POINT comes back each time you eat)
Gold braid
Harp
Healing potion (1 dose)
Hasp
Joke Book
Knife
Leather thong-thing
Lute
Parchment (12 sheets)
Powdered ink
Quill pen
Rope (15m coil)
Sack (per six)
Saw
Tent (counts as 5 off SPEED)
Tinderbox
Waterbag
Xylophone

DEFAULT HEALING KIT:
3 Bottles of Healing Potion (6 doses each)
Healing Salve (5 applications)

QUEST JOURNAL:
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Thaluikhain
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I say leave the tinglerings (or at most take 1), but take the wand, duck, snuffbox and luckstone. Not sure on the rest.

Also, Merlin goes round transformed as a snake and slithering up people's legs? Yeah, don't do that.
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I'd add our 4 dose healing potion to Thal's list but otherwise agreed.

The artificial aardvark is so bizarre an item that I suggest we take it. The Joke Book seems like it would be useful for the Poetic Fiend, if we come across him, so take that too.

So that's 9/12 slots (10/12 if we take a tinglering.)
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SlyJohnny
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I think the leather "thong thing" is a sling, and it's bound to be useful as it's been occluded in such a way. Definitely take that. The blue powder sounds useful. I agree on the joke book and aardvark.

Not having a rope and climbing spikes would've been an insta-death last time. Having a waterbag also seems important, but last time I was convinced we were going to starve to death if we didn't bring any food, and the game never even asked us to eat a meal, so.


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SGamerz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

The first 8 slots are confirmed (having all received more than 1 vote). 4 slots remain open.

Confirmed:
1. Excalibur Jr. (hits on 4, damage +5)
2. Dragonskin Jacket (damage taken -4)
3. Luckstone (modifies all of Pip's dice rolls by 3 in his favour
4. Magic Wooden Duck (can neutralize any magic once per book)
5. Globule Wand (roll 6+ during combat to hit, allows 4 free strikes before foe gets free), 4 charges remaining.
6. Snuffbox of Healing (can restore 2D6 LP every new section)
7. Artificial Aardvark
8. Joke Book
9.
10.
11.
12.

Other items that have been suggested thus far:
Leather thong-thing
Blue powder
Climbing spikes
Rope (15m coil)
Waterbag
1 Tinglering
3 Bottles of Healing Potion (6 doses each) - each bottle occupies 1 slot
Healing potion (1 dose) from Merlin's stash - occupies one slot on its own

Remember that we don't have to carry 12 items. We can risk the combat penalty and carry more than 12, or we can carry less than 12 because we're probably going to have to drop some of them when we find new loot during the quest anyway......
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Agreed on taking the leather thong thing and blue powder. I could see an argument for taking one of the multi-dose healing potions or a waterbag but I'm going to suggest we leave the last two spaces open.
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

That's 2 more slots confirmed:

Confirmed:
1. Excalibur Jr. (hits on 4, damage +5)
2. Dragonskin Jacket (damage taken -4)
3. Luckstone (modifies all of Pip's dice rolls by 3 in his favour
4. Magic Wooden Duck (can neutralize any magic once per book)
5. Globule Wand (roll 6+ during combat to hit, allows 4 free strikes before foe gets free), 4 charges remaining.
6. Snuffbox of Healing (can restore 2D6 LP every new section)
7. Artificial Aardvark
8. Joke Book
9. Leather thong-thing
10. Blue powder
11.
12.

Other items that have been suggested thus far:
Climbing spikes
Rope (15m coil)
Waterbag
1 Tinglering
3 Bottles of Healing Potion (6 doses each) - each bottle occupies 1 slot
Healing potion (1 dose) from Merlin's stash - occupies one slot on its own

Meanwhile, to move things on, let's proceed. You have until the next update to decide whether you wish to bring anything else.

Quote:
'Now where did I put it...' Merlin asks himself absently when you have chosen all your equipment. He rummages for a moment, then produces a neat little leather-bound book. 'Here it is! Your spells...'

'But I already have spells,' you protest. 'My PIP spell and my POW spell and--'

'Yes, yes, I know,' says Merlin irritably. 'Those are your standard spells. You'll need a few extra for this adventure, mark my words.'

Never one to look a gift spell in the mouth, you open the book, and start to read.

PIP'S SECOND SPELL BOOK

Pip's Patent Lock Picker (PLoP for short) Will pick one lock per section on a throw of 6 or better on two dice.

Pip's Incredible Duncher (PID for short) Causes the appearance of a magical cap which, when worn will shrink Pip to a height of six inches, thus allowing passages through tiny spaces. Size reverts to normal in the next section.

Pip's Amazing Legume Spell (PALS for short) Gives an automatic Friendly Reaction from any attacking vegetable.

Pip's Instant Levitation (PIL for short, but not to be confused with the standard PILL spell) Allows Pip to levitate but only three times per adventure. If used indoors it will lead to banging the head on the ceiling, with concussion and loss of half current LIFE POINTS.

Pip's Obliging Power Sword (POPS for short) Allows Pip to alter EJ's power. When applied, it will DOUBLE the damage caused by EJ on the next throw, but HALF the damage caused on the roll after that. The spell must be used BEFORE rolling to determine a hit.

'This isn't as long as my first Spell Book,' you protest, having examined the contents carefully.

'Of course it isn't!' Merlin tells you grumpily. 'Spells are expensive--it's the research and development, you know. I'm not made of money. Now, is there anything else?' He stares thoughtfully into the middle distance for a moment before deciding there is not. He turns to you abruptly. 'I don't suppose you brought a decent pair of boots?'

Bewildered, you shake your head.

'Pity. The ones you have on need polishing. Badly. Still, they'll have to do. I don't suppose he'll notice, what with everything else on his mind.'

'Who?' you ask, just the slightest bit alarmed, having had experience of Merlin's peculiar ways of doing things.

'The King, of course! We have to meet him now, before things get completely out of hand.'

'Meet the King?' you exclaim. 'But I'm not dressed to meet--'

But as usual it's too late. Merlin, who seldom listens to anyone but himself, isn't listening to you now. In fact he isn't listening to anyone. His eyes have glazed over and he is waving his arms about in the air while his lips mumble something in High Ancient Druid Welsh, the mystic tongue of all great British magicians.

As he does so, a high wind springs up, plucking at your jerkin and spinning you round and round until you are so dizzy you can no longer stand or think or see what's happening to you.

But SOMETHING is happening to you. Turn to 9 to find out what.


Note that we do still have access to all the spells that we learned from the last book. Those are listed in the Appendix at the end of the book, and the descriptions are exactly the same:

Pip's First Spell Book:
Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)


We actually have 11 Firefingers still left over from the last book, and 10 new ones in this (although we need to successfully cast the spell again to activate the new ones). Likewise we have 2 new Fireballs which are yet to be activated.

Let me know if you want to cast both the Firefinger and Fireball spells right from the beginning to have them ready for use.

Quote:
Gradually you stop whirling, and as the wind dies away you find yourself in a round chamber packed with people. You are standing beside Merlin, on a table.

Of course! This is the Chamber of the Table Round--you are on top of the Table itself, feeling rather dizzy, with a storm of scattered papers subsiding around you.

'Pip!' exclaims King Pellinore.

'Pip!!!' roar the Knights excitedly, in unison.

'Pip,' says the King, smiling. Then, remembering his manners, adds, 'And greetings to you, Lord Merlin.'

'Your Majesty,' Merlin acknowledges tersely as he climbs down from the table. 'Forgive the interruption: my aim went a bit off. But since we're here, you can see I have young Pip all kitted out and ready for the next adventure--at least when I fetch his sword, that is.'

'And that adventure involves closing the Gateway to the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead, does it?' the King asks wisely.

'Yes,' says Merlin. 'Yes indeed. All we need is your blessing and we'll be gone. At least Pip will. I have some urgent business in Scotland. A matter of magical haggis, you appreciate, that can't be handled by anybody else, so I'll just have to leave things to Pip for a change.' He waves his left hand carelessly and plucks Excalibur Junior out of thin air.

'Here, watch what you're doing!' exclaims EJ, then notices the King and falls silent in embarrassment.

'If my blessing is all that details you,' says King Arthur regally, 'then you shall have it and welcome.'

'Thank you, Your Majesty,' says Merlin. Then to Pip, 'Off you go now, and good luck.' With which he begins waving both arms so the whirlwind springs up again, surrounding you and spinning you once more into oblivion.

Or, to be more accurate, into 3, which is where you should turn to next.


Quote:
'Just a moment! you scream wildly. 'Just a cotton-pickin' minute here! I don't know how to get to the Gateway of the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead!'

But Merlin's dry voice echoes in your mind, 'IT'S EASY WHEN YOU KNOW THE TRICK. WHENEVER YOU FIND YOURSELF, YOU TAKE THE least pleasant DIRECTION. THEN, WHEN YOU STOP, YOU TAKE THE least pleasant DIRECTION AGAIN, AND AGAIN AND AGAIN YOU KEEP TAKING THE least pleasant DIRECTION. AND SINCE THE GHASTLY KINGDOM OF THE DEAD IS THE MOST UNPLEASANT PLACE YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE, YOU ARE BOUND TO REACH IT EVENTUALLY WHEREVER YOU START FROM.'

But where do you start from? No good relying on Merlin's spells: as he told the King, his aim isn't what it used to be. Roll your dice--two of them. If you score 2-6, turn to 25. If you score 7 to 12, turn to 45.


Dice roll = 9. I'm going to use the Luckstone here to change it to 6, since it brings us closer to our destination....

Quote:
What a pleasant way to start an adventure! What an extraordinarily pleasant way to start an adventure! Merlin has dispatched you--possibly by accident--to the village green of... of... well, of a village somewhere. It's impossible to say quite where, since you've never been here before and there are no signs up.

You are standing in the shade of a large chestnut tree, while in front of you, on the green, some sort of game is taking place.

It's quite a peculiar game, actually, played by a group of rather sturdy young men and watched by a group of rather willowy young women. At one end of the green someone has stuck three swords into the ground side by side. Standing directly in front of these swords is one of the players, a redheaded youth wearing a padded leather jacket and a metal helmet and carrying a large club with an iron nail stuck through it.

At the other end of the green is another of the players mounted on a pony and carrying a massive wooden mallet.

Between them, on the ground, is one of those spiked iron balls you usually see attached to a mace in Knightly Tournaments. And between the ball and the swords is a net. The rest of the players are scattered about on the green doing nothing in particular.

As you watch, the rider urges his pony into a gallop, heading directly towards the player in front of the three swords. As he reaches the spiked iron ball, he hits it an almighty swipe with the mallet, falling off his mount in the process.

'Fore!' cries one of the other players, out on the field.

The iron ball curves upwards, arcing perhaps fifteen feet off the ground, clearing the net before dropping towards the player at the swords, who steps forward to meet it, swinging his club wildly. He is obviously trying to hit the ball, but instead the ball hits him, crashing down directly on his metal helmet with a reverberating clang that echoes across the green.

The player with the club keels over, unconscious. The player with the mallet (who had fallen off his pony, you recall) is carried off with, apparently, a broken leg.

'Hozzat?' calls another of the players on the field.

An old man, wearing several hats one on top of the other, emerges from the side of the green and walks across slowly to examine the three swords, one of which has been knocked slightly askew by the unconscious player with the club.

'Out!' calls the old man. The willowy women applaud politely. What a strange game.

'Love one,' calls the old man, then adds, 'New ball, please.'

But interesting though all this might be, you have an adventure to advent. What was it Merlin said? The least pleasant direction? You look around you.

To the north (judging by the lie of the sun) are the thatched cottages of the village itself, a drowsy rural setting, with honeysuckle climbing up the walls and roses in the gardens. To the west a road which winds away into the distance between serene meadows towards a bright valley between two gentle hills. To the east, a small wood full of birdsong. And to the south, the green. Nothing very unpleasant here, not anywhere.

Claaaaaang! Crash! Clunk!

'Hozzat!'

'Out!'

Someone else seems to have bitten the dust.

One of the willowy young maidens has appeared beside you. 'Do you play pogolfit?' she asks without preamble, presumably referring to the peculiar game. Then, without waiting for a reply adds, 'Only they seem to be out of clubber-swingers and since you seem an athletic type, I thought you might like to join in...'

What a crazy situation. Three different directions, all of which seem equally pleasant and an invitation to join in some stupid village game. And while you're trying to make up your mind, the Gateway of the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead remains open, spreading its evil and corruption like a creeping plague through Avalon. Better make some sort of decision quickly.

If you go north into the village, turn to 4.
If you take the road westward, move to 10.
If the wood to the east seems your best bet, try 42.
And if you must waste your time playing pogolfit, go to 58.


Where do we begin our search? And again, if you wish to add anything to our equipment, this is your last chance to vote for them!
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Omegonthesane
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 7:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Wasting our time playing pogolfit seems like the only option that isn't blind wandering.

Also take rope and spikes.
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As far as death and human misery goes, Tobacco is basically World War II grinding on forever with no real sign of stopping in our life times. Death camps and nuclear bombs and stuff are certainly dramatic, but public health crises are always and forever bigger than wars on the global scale.


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Thaluikhain
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Playing pogolfit would be a bad idea, so lets do that.
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I'd say no to the spikes, since we now have a levitate spell (admittedly it only works safely outdoors, but climbing spikes don't strike me as being particularly likely to be used indoors.) I could be convinced to take the rope though.

Also play the pogolift game.
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SlyJohnny
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I think the golf game is just an invitation to take an iron ball to the head and lose hitpoints, but I have a weird feeling about this. Let's try playing along.
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SGamerz
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

There's been no other votes on equipment besides an additional vote for rope and spikes followed by an anti-vote for spikes. I guess we proceed with taking the rope only and leaving one slot open in our inventory!

Quote:
'Anyone mind if I join in,' you remark cheerfully, as you step on to the pogolfit pitch.

All heads swing in your direction. All eyes regard you suspiciously for an instant. All foreheads crease in sudden frowns. 'Are you prepared to bat?' somebody asks hesitantly. 'Yes!' you exclaim with confidence. All mouths stretch in dazzling smiles.

'We got a batter!' the word goes round excitedly.

'And only just in time,' remarks the player crouching behind the three swords, a middle-aged man with a drooping moustache and bird-like eyes.

'In time for what?' you ask, with just the slightest doubt at your decision beginning to nibble at the edges of your mind.

'To face the Visitors,' the player says.

'Visitors?'

'The Scots team. We've been warming up until they arrived. But they're here now. At least the soon will be: you can tell by the distant howl of the haggis and the smell of whisky.'

In point of fact, you can hear nothing and the only smell you notice is peat smoke, easily explained by a small chimney fire in one of the village cottages, but you say nothing, assuming these people must know their own business. And indeed they do, for as you take your place before the swords, there is a sudden skirl of bagpipes (which the villagers, deprived of your education, may well have mistaken for the distant howl of a haggis) and on to the pitch marches a huge contingent of brawny men in kilts, bobbles bobbing on their bonnets, sporrans swinging with military precision, dirks stuck down their leggings and flashing in the sun.

They are a terrifying lot.

The Scots form a tightly-knit circle in the centre of the pitch and remove their bonnets gravely while a long piper squeezes out a plaintive lament. One by one, the great bearded heads bow as in in silent tribute.

'What are they doing?' you ask curiously.

'Paying respect to the dead,' says the sword-wicket-keeper grimly.

'Has somebody died?' you ask, looking around you curiously for a coffin.

'Not yet,' says the wicket-keeper, refusing to meet your eyes.

The piping stops. 'Hogmanay!!!' roar the Scots visitors in unison. There is a pattering of polite applause from the maidens underneath the oak tree. Then the largest of the visitors breaks away from the group and struts towards you. He stops no more than a yard or two away, flexes massive muscles and remarks, 'Machoot, och aye, braw bricht nicht the noo.'

You nod politely, not understanding, but assuming it to be a Gaelic greeting. He nods back tersely, then lumbers off to where several of his fellow visitors are taking sections of a collapsible caber from their sporran pouches and busily assembling them into something resembling a tree trunk. You watch with growing trepidation as the caber grows longer and fatter. The Machoot (he of the massive muscles) takes the finished assembly, staggering a little under its incredible weight, totters backwards, catches his balance, then begins a slow, bow-legged run in your direction.

'Here, just a minute--' you start to protest, realizing abruptly there are rules of pogolfit nobody has bothered to mention to you.

But it is too late, all too late.

'Sassenachs!!' roars the visiting team in unison as Machoot hefts the mighty caber in a vast arc in your direction.

'Don't take your eye off it,' advises the wicket-keeper grimly, as he dives for cover.

But it is unnecessary advice. You stand transfixed, horrified. The huge tree trunk drops from the sky, growing larger and larger, until it makes contact with your head, driving you into the soft turf like a fence stake.

Go to 34.


Merlin instructed us to pick the least pleasant way, and quite clearly the game was the least pleasant thing in view. So this is indeed the correct direction towards the Gateway.

Unfortunately, there's actually a downside to playing the game immediately:

Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)


Quote:
You are in a tunnel, suffering from a splitting headache and amnesia. But as you stagger forward, your memory gradually returns. It seems that when the caber struck you, it drove you through the ground into some sort of underground cavern, from which you wandered dizzily into a maze of subterranean tunnels of which this is only the latest. Where you are, you have not the slightest idea. Where you are going, you have not slightest idea. How to get out, you have not the slightest idea.

But there is light ahead, even if distant and dim, so with nothing better to do, you move towards it.

And in so doing, eventually emerge at 24.


Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)


Quote:
You are standing on a desolate, fog-enshrouded, windswept moor, chill, barren, soggy underfoot, eerie, lonely, gloomy, oppressive, threatening, malodorous and emanating an all-pervading sense of horror, terror and ancient evil.

This is by far the nastiest place you have ever had the dire misfortune to venture into. Which probably means...

Yes! There it is! Over to the North! You've found it, Pip! Looming from the swirling mist are two massive granite pillars and between them a huge brass portal (open!) leading into a confusion of writhing, moaning, multicoloured fog.

This is definitely the Gateway to the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead. This is the place you've been looking for. This is the end of your adventure. This is your road to even greater glory. This is the softest touch you've ever had: all you have to do is nip across and close the Gate. Nothing to it.

Except maybe for that Thing standing in the Gateway.

I suppose you could always go home now, but it does seem a bit pointless. Or you could ignore the Thing and just saunter casually up to the Gate and close it. Or you could attack the Thing before trying to close the Gate. Or you could nip over to 63 and ask EJ what he thinks.


How do we proceed?

EDIT: @SlyJohnny: Somehow I missed your question at the end of the last book's thread about the Medusa. I've replied to that, in case you're still interested. Sorry for the late answer.

QUEST JOURNAL:
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Omegonthesane
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Sword, advise.
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And if there are any weeds that grow better in barren soil than laziness and ignorance, I don't know what they are (and don't care enough to find out).
Kaelik wrote:
Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
FrankTrollman wrote:
As far as death and human misery goes, Tobacco is basically World War II grinding on forever with no real sign of stopping in our life times. Death camps and nuclear bombs and stuff are certainly dramatic, but public health crises are always and forever bigger than wars on the global scale.


Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Thaluikhain
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 12:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Yeah, may as well talk to the sword if you have a talking sword.

Also, those Scottish stereotypes seem rather dodgy, there was no mention of them being stingy with money.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Quote:
'I think we should go home to Camelot,' EJ says.

Which may be excellent advice, but hardly the sort an adventurer would take. Better go back to 24 and make up your own mind.


So much for that.

So do we want to attack the Thing?
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Omegonthesane
Duke


Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Posts: 1985

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Close the gate.
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FrankTrollman wrote:
And if there are any weeds that grow better in barren soil than laziness and ignorance, I don't know what they are (and don't care enough to find out).
Kaelik wrote:
Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
FrankTrollman wrote:
As far as death and human misery goes, Tobacco is basically World War II grinding on forever with no real sign of stopping in our life times. Death camps and nuclear bombs and stuff are certainly dramatic, but public health crises are always and forever bigger than wars on the global scale.


Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Darth Rabbitt
King


Joined: 05 Feb 2009
Posts: 6173
Location: Anywhere but here.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 4:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Just close the gate.q
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