[Let's Play] GrailQuest 1: The Castle of Darkness

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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Risk entering and knock.
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Post by SGamerz »

The door is unlocked and opens creakily at your touch. You find yourself standing on a glistening floor of jet-black marble in a twelve-metre-square chamber, all walls of which are draped solemnly in black velvet.

In the exact centre of the chamber is a dais and on the dais a large ebony coffin. Your torch flickers alarmingly in here, although the air is still, casting dancing shadows. It is cold, silent, and very, very still. Your footsteps echo as you walk, reluctantly, towards the coffin.

There is a large silver plaque bolted to the dais, on which has been cut the following inscription in very tiny letters:
Hail brave warrior and adventurer bold
You have reached the Crypt of the Fiend
Established in days of old.
And a very poetic Fiend he is
(Much better than the Wiz
-ard Ansalom)
So he's been told.
So if the poetic Fiend you wish to arouse
Sleeping as he is in his coffin-like house
You must first find the answer hid
To the puzzle on the coffin lid.
Then praise his poetry to the skies
Even if this means telling a few lies
And the Fiend will help you on your way.
Otherwise you won't live a single day.

When you finally recover from this truly awful piece of poetry, you step on to the dais and examine the plaque on the lid of the coffin. This reads (in fairly average-size lettering):
To open coffin and meet with the world-famous
Poetic Fiend, simply follow the instructions.
Please do so carefully, otherwise the coffin will
explode, destroying the Wizard Ansalom's
Dark Castle, the Realm of Avalon, the entire
world, the universe and, quite possibly, you.

Instructions
If the word 'if is the second word in this
sentence, knock twice. Otherwise knock three
times, unless birds can fly, in which case
knock only once, except for those of you who
know Merlin who should knock four times
unless the word 'if was the third word in the
first sentence of these instructions in which
case you should only knock once.

You have five seconds to start knocking before
the coffin explodes.

If you knocked once, go to 84.
If you knocked twice, go to 104.
If you knocked three times, go to 109.
If you knocked four times, go to 102.
Quick! Work out how many times we have to knock before the coffin explodes!! (Since this is presented in semi-riddle format, I'm counting this as another puzzle.)
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Post by SlyJohnny »

Four times.

There's an argument for knocking once and pretending we don't know Merlin, but I think I'm overthinking that.
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Post by Thaluikhain »

Four times...and saying "you have five seconds" after you've read the instructions and probably worked it out might ruin the effect.

I am curious as to whether getting it wrong would destroy the universe, as there'd be no section 14 to go to.

(Also, SlyJohnny has a point, what if the Poetic Fiend hates everyone that knows Merlin?)
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Four. Nothing indicates the Fiend particularly hates Merlin, and even if he does he might just want us to tell him that he's a better poet than him or something.
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Post by ashimbabbar »

Four. T=he funny world-annihilating mechanism probably can tell if we know Merlin ( who else would send us to this place anyway ? )
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Post by SGamerz »

Thaluikhain wrote:I am curious as to whether getting it wrong would destroy the universe, as there'd be no section 14 to go to.
All the "wrong" answer sections consist of just a single word, "BOOM!" before telling you to turn to 14.

So apparently, the explosion doesn't really destroy the world, since Pip can still re-roll his stats and try again. But it does kill Pip.
You step back hurriedly as the lid of the coffin slowly starts to open. A white gloved hand emerges to grip the side, then, slowly, terrifyingly, the Fiend himself begins to rise up from the velvet and satin-lined interior.

The Fiend is tall, slim, chalky white and dressed (rather oddly for King Arthur's day) in a long black opera cloak over white tie and tails evening suit. His eyes are very large and very dark. Two of his top teeth protrude over his lower lip, like fangs. Slowly he turns those great dark eyes towards
you...

Don't wait a moment, Pip. Turn to 111.
And we've just met a Grailquest legend (arguably THE Grailquest legend), the Poetic Fiend! He's the only character besides Merlin (and Pip, of course) to appear in every single Grailquest book (although it's possible to miss him in some of them....including this one). Even EJ is absent in one of the later books.

In some way he can be considered the GQ mascot.
'Hello, Duckie,' says the Fiend. 'What a pleasure to find an intelligent visitor for a change. Most of them blow themselves up, you know. Very painful. Now, what is it you want of me?'

Since you don't really know what you want of him, you simply stare dumbly as he climbs out of his coffin, stretching to get the stiffness out of his joints.

'Don't you know what you want?' asks the Fiend, kindly enough. 'It's always the way, even with the clever ones. Do you like my poetry, by the way? I wrote the verse on the plaque.'

Do you praise his poetry, comparing him to Milton, Keats, Shakespeare and Pam Ayres (none of whom he will have heard of, since they were not yet born in King Arthur's day)? If so, go to 87.
Do you tell the truth? If so, go to 117.
Does Pip kiss the Fiend's ass possess sufficient artistic taste to admire the Fiend's poetic genius?
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Post by Thaluikhain »

I'm thinking praise the poetry.
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Brown nose the Poetic Fiend. Pip isn't a ninja, so Ninja Honesty doesn't apply.
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Post by ashimbabbar »

servile flattery mode on
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Post by MisterDee »

Okay, I'm impressed.

The French translation of the Fiend's poetry was merely mediocre and uninspired. Rhyming is with wiz- ... this is aggressivelybad.
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Post by SGamerz »

'Very kind,' the Fiend murmurs modestly, obviously extremely pleased, even though he looks a little puzzled by the names you mentioned. 'Very kind indeed.' He begins to pace dramatically up and down the floor of his crypt, in the manner of a Shakespearian actor, declaiming the following worthless doggerel:

Oh what a joy it is for me
To be
Truly
Appreciated by someone who has obviously more intelligence than a flea!

He smiles. 'A little extempore ode to mark the occasion. But now to business, since it is seldom I meet anyone with the critical faculties to appreciate my genius. Since you have been kind enough to listen to my little verses, I shall return the compliment.' With which he produces a sheet of blank parchment from the breast pocket of his tail coat and a most peculiar feather from the inside pocket. (On close inspection, the latter turns out to be a fountain quill.)

'Take these,' he says, 'and forthwith compose an ode, ballad, limerick, haiku, or some such similar verse for our mutual edification and delight. Make it as long as possible, but be certain that every second line rhymes with the one before, in this manner:
I'm going now
To milk a cow.
And when I go
I'll have you know
We'll soon have milk
As smooth as silk.

'And so on, for just as long as you can make it.'

This Fiend is obviously a nutcase, Pip, but rather likeable. Better humour him and compose a poem as he says. Who knows what might come out of a little courtesy in the Age of Chivalry.

Use the blank page which follows to write down your poem, then turn to 112.
Image

Soo.....anyone feeling poetic? :biggrin:
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

I recommend we submit this.
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Post by Thaluikhain »

Erm...so he dresses like a classic vampire and makes you write poetry without any warning? He sounds like a really annoying English teacher.
angelfromanotherpin wrote:I recommend we submit this.
Every second line has to rhyme with the one before it, so that rules out most poems (and songs) I can think of off the top of my head after a few lines.

How
now
brown
cow?

Would work, ish.
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Post by Ikeren »

Here are the rhyming lines from the first half of Call Me Maybe, after which I got bored.

I threw a wish in the well
Don't ask me I'll never tell
I looked at you as it fell

I trade my soul for a wish
Pennies and dimes for a kiss
I wasn't looking for this

Skin was showing
Wind was blowing

And this is crazy
So call me maybe
It's hard to look right at you baby
So call me maybe

And this is crazy
So call me maybe
Try to chase me
So call me maybe

You took your time with the call
I took no time with the fall
You gave me nothing at all

I beg and borrow and steal
At first sight and it's real
I didn't know I would feel it
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Post by Thaluikhain »

Three rhyyming lines in a row wouldn't fit the rules, though, but the chorus would work. But then we have gone from flattering the Fiend to flirting with him.

I'm curious as to the next section, does the Fiend rate our poetry somehow? Have to wait and see.
Last edited by Thaluikhain on Fri Aug 04, 2017 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by SGamerz »

Here's what the next section says:
'What a delight! What a masterwork!' exclaims the Fiend when you hand him the completed poem. 'For this, you shall be richly rewarded.'

And for every line of your poem, he hands you a Gold Piece! You're doing rather well for Gold Pieces now, Pip. How many is that altogether? Don't forget to keep a careful tally.

'Now,' says the Fiend, 'since my arithmetic is rather weak, you must tell me if there are more than ten lines in your poem.'

If there are, in fact, more than ten lines in your poem, go to 81.
If there are only ten lines or less, go to 116.
Figures that someone like him would treat quantity as quality.

Of the two works suggested, Ikeren's submission comes closer to fulfilling the Fiend's condition (and while the Fiend's a bad poet he clearly still recognizes rhymes when he sees it), so that's the one I'll take. Also, to make sure that it completely fulfills the Fiend's condition, we'll omit one line from each of the 3-line sections and just submit what's left because clearly the Fiend doesn't care if the rhymes make sense. :biggrin:

Even with those omitted lines we still have 18 lines, so that's 18 gold pieces for us!

Oh, and even though we've more or less used plagiarism I still count that as a puzzle solved, so Pip now has 15 Exp points!
'More than ten lines!' squeals the Fiend delightedly. 'What sterling work! What poetic effort! What creative herculean labour! This too must be rewarded!'

And from the pocket of his trousers, he hands you a small wooden duck, rather garishly painted yellow, red and brown. It seems to have had wheels once, but these have been broken off.

'This,' says the Fiend, 'is my most precious possession; and now it is yours. It's a magic duck.'

'Magic?' you echo, getting a word in edgeways for the first time in ages. 'What does it do?'

'I don't know,' admits the Fiend. 'And you mustn't know yet either. But should you ever find yourself in great danger from any form of evil magic, you may shout:
Magic duck,
Come to my aid:
I'm not afraid!

'And turn at once to 119 where you will find out about the duck's magic. But don't turn to 119 until you really need to use the duck, because that dispels the magic and you can only use it once.'

The Fiend yawns. 'Now, my dear young friend, although it has been a great pleasure meeting with you, I grow tired. If you will excuse me, I shall return to my coffin and rest to await my next visitor.' With which he sweeps back his black opera coat, favours you with a dazzling smile, leaps into his coffin and pulls down the lid. Nor will any number of knocks persuade him to open it ,up again.

Since there doesn't seem much else you can do here, turn to 62 and find out what's in the temple.
At least there'll be something to accompany us in the bathtub now, even if we never find out what the duck does!

Onward to the temple.....
Image
As you approach the temple, your eye catches a flash of movement from within the colonnade. You stop at once and draw Excalibur Junior, ready for any eventuality.

But a soft, melodious voice says kindly, 'Put away the sword, Pip: you are in no danger from me.' And out of the shadows of the colonnade steps the most beautiful lady you have ever seen, tall, serene, stately, gowned in white gossamer. Could this be the Queen? You realise suddenly you have never met Guinevere, hence do not even know what she looks like. And this lady certainly seems regal enough to be a Queen.

'How flattering, Pip,' remarks the White Lady, as if she had read your thoughts. 'But I am not Guinevere. Indeed, I am not even mortal, as you understand the term. If you require a name for me, use that which Arthur sometimes uses - the Lady of the Lake. Although this dark place is not the lake where he first saw me.'

She beckons you to follow and returns to the interior of the temple. Inside, you find a simple chamber with mosaic inlay on the floor and a white block marble altar on which stands a jewelled chalice and a glistening gemstone on a velvet cushion.

'This temple does not exist in the world as you know it,' says the Lady of the Lake. 'In fact, this whole island does not exist in your world, and will disappear forever once you depart from here. I have come because I am the avowed enemy of all things evil and the Wizard Ansalom, whom you seek, is undoubtedly evil. In the past, I have aided King Arthur to fight against the forces of darkness"; and now, if you wish it, I shall aid you.'

You nod, vigorously. You need all the help you can get.

The Lady smiles. 'Very well, Pip: first drink of this chalice.' And she hands you the jeweled chalice from the altar.

If you are prepared to drink, go to 103.
If you feel it wiser not to, go to 108.
Drink the unknown stuff?

QUEST JOURNAL:
Pip's LIFE POINTS: 21/28

EQUIPMENT CARRIED:
Excalibur Jr. (hits on 4, damage +5)
Dragonskin Jacket (damage taken -4)
Dagger (hits on 6, damage +2)
Healing Potions (heals 2d6 LP) 10 doses
Healing Salve (heals 3 LP) 3 applications
Bully-beef sandwiches, two apples & some garlic
Parchment, quill and ink for mapping
Mirror made from polished metal
Hammer, nails and a saw.
Lodestone & twine to make a compass
Diamond Ring (heals 25 LP OR +1 Firefinger, worth 170 GP)
Tingling Silver Ring
Magic Wooden Duck (turn to 119 when used, best used when in danger from evil magic)

MONEY: 98 GP

MAGIC:
Firefinger Lightning Bolts (10 damage) - 8/10
Fireballs (6 to hit, 75 damage) 2/2

EXPERIENCE POINTS: 15
ENEMIES DEFEATED:
Wild Boar
Not-Friendly Animated Skeleton
2 Hounds
Old Watchman
Compost Heap
6 Zombies
PUZZLES SOLVES: 3

No. of Deaths:
1. Pecked to death by Ansalom's Savage Chickens
Last edited by SGamerz on Sat Aug 05, 2017 1:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

I'm assuming that's the Holy Grail and not a cup of poison, so drink up.
SGamerz wrote:At least there'll be something to accompany us in the bathtub now, even if we never find out what the duck does!
https://youtu.be/XHi3aohNPTw?t=24s
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Post by Thaluikhain »

Only find out what happens if we drink it, so drink it and find out.
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Post by ashimbabbar »

Pip does not refuse a free drink from a handsome woman
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Post by SGamerz »

Darth Rabbitt wrote:I'm assuming that's the Holy Grail
That's never confirmed, speaking of which....
....despite being called "Grailquest", I don't think the Holy Grail ever made an actual appearance in this series, or at least never revealed as such.
The chalice contains a clear, cool, blue-green liquid which tastes of honey and blackcurrants. As you drink, a feeling of Well-being flows through your body.

If you are currently under your full total of LIFE POINTS you will instantly be restored to complete strength.

Furthermore, the liquid provides you with a temporary LIFE POINT buffer of 25 LIFE POINTS. What this means is that you have an additional store of 25 LIFE POINTS over and above your full total. Any damage scored against you will now be taken from the additional 25 first before being deducted from your actual LIFE POINTS. The buffer is, however, temporary, so once you have used it up, it's gone for good.

The Lady of the Lake smiles at you. "Feel better now, Pip?"

You nod and smile back.

"Well," says the Lady, "I have one more small gift for you..."

And she takes the glittering gemstone from the altar and places it in the palm of your outstretched hand.

"This," says the Lady, "is called a Luckstone. A magical gem, which only works for those of brave, honest, good, loyal and true heart. While you possess this Luckstone--and it is yours to keep so long as you don't get yourself killed--you may add, or subtract, 3 points to or from any dice roll you may make. This means that when you are fighting, you can add 3 points to your roll in order to gain a successful blow; or add 3 points to the damage caused if your blow is already successful. In fact, in any circumstance which requires a dice roll from now on, you may add or subtract 3 to or from your total in order to achieve the result you wish.

"Furthermore," says the Lady, taking a deep breath, "if you manage to survive the present adventure so that your Luckstone is intact at the time you leave the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle, you may keep this Luckstone and bring it with you on subsequent adventures."

A gem indeed Pip! "Thank you, Lady," you breathe gratefully and place the Luckstone carefully away in your pack. As you do so, the Lady and the temple begin to fade gently away, leaving you standing back in 75. Frantically, you open your backpack. The Luckstone is still there! Fantastic!

Now turn to 75 but * * * NOTE * * * you will NOT ever again be able to find the secret door to the north, whatever it may say in your spell book, either this time round, or at any other time should you be killed and return this way. Remember that, Pip. Trying to go through to the Lady of the Lake again will break the spell.
Now this Luckstone, I believe, is probably the best loot to be found not only in this book, but probably in this whole series. Since it adds or subtracts 3 to ALL dice rolls to our advantage, not only does it make all combats easier, but it's going to cut down our chances of death via random dice rolls significantly. Which is probably why we're specifically told that we can never come back and repeat this encounter on replays.

Of course, this also means that if we were to die from here onwards.....the loss of loot is really going to hurt....

Oh, btw, if we'd chosen to enter the temple before the cave, then we'd have missed the Poetic Fiend for good. This is one of the very rare situations in Grailquest where the player is specifically told that he can't backtrack to a certain spot.

We head back to the 3-way junction, where the only branch we haven't checked is 76, so let's take a look:
Image
This corridor runs due east for twelve metres and ends in a door. Or what used to be a door. This one is badly splintered and is hanging from one hinge as if something terribly big burst through it some time ago. The problem is, did something terribly big burst out or burst in! There is no light beyond the hanging door, but if you listen very, very carefully, you should just be able to pick up the sound of breathing from the darkness.

Going in, Pip? Then go to 77.
Or you could always go back to the corridor at 75.
We're given the choice to turn back to 75. Of course, we've already checked the other 2 branches there, so if we turn back now, the only option left is to backtrack all the way through the zombie room again and go up the stairs.

Do we continue through the hanging door, or backtrack to the stairs?

QUEST JOURNAL:
Pip's LIFE POINTS: 53/28

EQUIPMENT CARRIED:
Excalibur Jr. (hits on 4, damage +5)
Dragonskin Jacket (damage taken -4)
Dagger (hits on 6, damage +2)
Healing Potions (heals 2d6 LP) 10 doses
Healing Salve (heals 3 LP) 3 applications
Bully-beef sandwiches, two apples & some garlic
Parchment, quill and ink for mapping
Mirror made from polished metal
Hammer, nails and a saw.
Lodestone & twine to make a compass
Diamond Ring (heals 25 LP OR +1 Firefinger, worth 170 GP)
Tingling Silver Ring
Magic Wooden Duck (turn to 119 when used, best used when in danger from evil magic)
Luckstone (modifies all of Pip's dice rolls by 3 in his favour)

MONEY: 98 GP

MAGIC:
Firefinger Lightning Bolts (10 damage) - 8/10
Fireballs (6 to hit, 75 damage) 2/2

EXPERIENCE POINTS: 15
ENEMIES DEFEATED:
Wild Boar
Not-Friendly Animated Skeleton
2 Hounds
Old Watchman
Compost Heap
6 Zombies
PUZZLES SOLVES: 3

No. of Deaths:
1. Pecked to death by Ansalom's Savage Chickens
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Post by Thaluikhain »

Keep going...though we should be able to tell in which direction the bursting happened.

Oh, and + or - 3 on any dice roll is rather nice. I take it that'd be after dice are added together, if there are more than one being rolled.
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

We've got both a magic duck and a luckstone, I'm pretty sure we can take whatever's in the passage.
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Post by ashimbabbar »

the formulation is not very clear, is it only on Pip's dierolls we get +/-3 or on his enemies' too ? If so it is a game breaker indeed.

Let Pip, now endowed with this fantabulous gem, now explore what has been left unexplored.
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Post by SGamerz »

ashimbabbar wrote:the formulation is not very clear, is it only on Pip's dierolls we get +/-3 or on his enemies' too ? If so it is a game breaker indeed.
I read that as only Pip's own dice rolls being modified, not his enemies'.
Don't like the sound of that breathing, Pip. Still, it's your skin....

You poke your lighted torch into the room, but nothing happens. The torch doesn't light it up! There's magic afoot here, Pip. Still want to go in?

If so, go to 72.
If not, you can still retrace your steps to 75.
Exact same choices. I think I'll skip a round a voting this time.
Nervously, you edge your way forward in total darkness, one hand against the rough texture of the stone wall for guidance, the other firmly gripping the hilt of faithful Excalibur Junior. The breathing is louder now, closer.

'Who's there?' you call.

The breathing stops.

Better go to 67 before the tension give you a nervous breakdown.
Nobody here's in danger of a nervous breakdown, I hope....
You are attacked savagely about the ankle. Ankle? Yes--ankle! And if it's funny, it's also very painful, not to say damaging. (Deduct 4 LIFE POINTS immediately for ankle damage: if this kills you, go to 14.)

Let's recap your situation. You can't see a thing, being surrounded by magical darkness. Your torch won't work (and though you haven't tried it, you can be pretty sure your oil lamp won't either). You are being savagely attacked at a rather low level. What are your options?

Well, you can obviously try to fight back. The only problem is that you can't see. So you're going to have to swing wildly. And your chances of actually hitting anything aren't much good. So if you do decide to fight, you will have to roll 10 or better on two dice to score a hit. (So any damage you might do, if you do connect, is that much smaller.) Or you can try to make friends, which doesn't sound too hopeful, since whatever it is seems to be chewing away at your ankle even at this very minute. Or you can try to do something about the darkness.

The problem is--what? It's magical darkness. Torches don't work. Lamps don't work. Only some form of magic will work. A Fireball--if you have any left? Or a Firefinger Lightning Bolt--if you have any left? But should you waste them here or save them for what could be worse nasties to come? Life is full of hard decisions, Pip, when you get yourself into one of these magical adventures.

If you decide to fight, go to 90.
If you decide to try to make friends, go to 92.
If you decide to use a Fireball or a Lightning Bolt Firefinger to get a bit of light in here, go to 97.
Of course, Pip just had a full heal and extra LP boost from that drink he just took, so he's in no danger of getting killed by that ankle attack. LP is now at 49/28.

What do we do here?
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