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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 1:47 pm
by erik
Son1: I dropped a battery in the toilet!
And there's pee in there!
erik: Get mommy.
... later...
erik: Okay son, pee is sterile, that means it is clean. I want you to reach in and get the battery.
son1: NOOooooooo! I don't want to die!
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 2:01 pm
by Ancient History
"Look, I'm willing to compromise here. Instead of 100 babies, we'll just sacrifice one."
"That is unacceptable."
"See? This is what I'm talking about! No effort to compromise at all. I'm willing to give up sacrificing 99% of what I want, and you still won't meet me in the middle. I might as well sacrifice them all if that's going to be your attitude."
~ Efforts by Republicans to work with Democrats continue to be at an impasse.
"What if we sacrifice a baby and I give you a voucher so you can buy another one on the open market?"
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:58 pm
by Shrapnel
Me: "Ya ever wonder what it would be like to have someone else's teeth in your mouth? Not as, like dentures or whatever, but the actual teeth just sitting on your tongue. It'd be weird right? Like, all crunchy when you bite on them, but then gooey on the inside? And then there's just the fact that there are teeth inside your head that aren't yours. You ever think about that?"
Co-worker: "...no."
Me: "Yeah, me neither."
A conversation I had at work today.
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:45 pm
by Stahlseele
Crunchy and gooey on the inside?
How do people not know how their own teeth work? x.x
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:55 pm
by DSMatticus
Well, there is a very small amount of soft, pulpy tissue in there. You wouldn't call it meaty, though I'm not sure gooey is the right word either. I'm not sure I'll ever know the right word to describe the texture, and that's probably for the best.
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:56 pm
by Ancient History
Grainy. Like undercooked marrow.
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:57 pm
by DSMatticus
Ancient History wrote:Grainy. Like undercooked marrow.
The best thing about this post is that it took less than a minute.
Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 1:03 am
by Shrapnel
Is it more or less weird that I've actually had another person's tooth in my mouth? Because it felt gooey.
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:35 pm
by Starmaker
Me and cat, sitting in the balcony overlooking the gray concrete slabs of the
amusement park main building:
"Someday, Fluffers, things are gonna change. We'll be rich, live in a palace..."
Girlfriend, from the living room:
"It's a Dreamworks park, dumbass. Unless your idea of a princess is a zebra or a troll, get back in here before you catch a cold."
