Old Game Review: Ninjas and Superspies (TM)
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 6:05 am
That's right, another dice-game review by Krystal "Team Fortress" Brooks!
I will post this meme until you like it.
This time we go back to 1988. Except not really because the revised edition is copyright 1990. Except this is the revised seventh printing so it's 2000. Except it probably isn't MUCH revised, so what the fuck. It's either older than some of you, or "old enough to consent to sex in most countries that aren't America".
Please, don't fuck books.
Anyway, here it is, Palladium (R) presents, Ninjas & Superspies (TM)
Now, the drink of choice is of course Glenfiddich single malt scotch whisky. The music shall be Everybody is Kung-fu fighting. An obvious choice.
This is written by Erick Wujcik, with three editors, one RPG Design Editor (Kevin), one Art Director (also Kevin), five artists, and also the typography and keylining are by other people with the last name Siembieda so probably just Kev's family forced to do it at gunpoint. It is allegedly compatible with Heroes Unlimited (TM) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (R) RPG and the After the Bomb (R) series.
This book has TWO disclaimers! The first one is not to get your gi in a twist if the martial arts presented are inaccurate (he knows what martial art fanatics are like, I guess), because they are not to be confused with the martial arts in the real world. So everything is to fit the game world or for game balance. Yes, game balance, by the creator of RIFTS (TM). So anything unbalanced from here on out means DRINK ONCE. Why can't he just say "Because it's a game and also I didn't actually study every martial art in the world, I'm taking my cues from some old books that give two pages on each of twenty martial arts, and a bunch of HKAT films"? Okay to be fair he DOES say "And, where I didn't have the data, I just made it up". This predates Wikipedia, so I guess that's okay. I mean, before Wiki, that's how literally all research ever was done, right? Just make it up if you don't happen to know it? Also he points out that in the real world there aren't actually any Good or Evil martial arts, and even all the ones that place emphasis on honour have their own definitions of honour, so any alignment things included are just for the game.
Disclaimer 2 is the standard "This is an RPG, don't actually try this stuff or think you are a kung fu master because you played one in a game" crossed with the standard "We know martial arts are cool, but don't learn it from a book, learn it from a proper master and don't injure yourself" which was standard for basically any book that mentioned martial arts back then. They don't say that now because these days you can learn chokeholds on youtube. Performed by sexy ladies.
I am going to be ruthless in skipping a lot of shit apart from when it's particularly different from the norm. So for instance, it uses the "Most Palladium (TM) games" thing for stats where 16-18 gives you an extra d6, but not the Ninja Turtles thing where sixes explode on bonus dice. You choose an OCC in this game, and then choose skills like normal (as in, skill programs like in Heroes Unlimited (R) or TMNT (R)), except unlike RIFTS (TM), you don't just grab a HtH skill and be done with it, you instead have a bunch of martial art options which have a bit more impact on your character. For some characters, half your fucking skills actually come from your martial arts. Also some Martial Arts will let you choose martial arts powers. But I get ahead of myself. BUT SO DOES THE BOOK.
Oh I should mention this game doesn't use MDC. That's probably for the best, even if it does rule out giant robots (ruling them out is never for the best). It goes straight into the rules of damage, SDC and HP as well as optional random tables for side effects of injuries. It also mentions Chi, which is basically PPE. Or simply your attention, as it explains "distracting a kid so you can take something out of their grip" as a Chi thing. Um, okay. I'm going to have a drink, my Chi has been disrupted.
Also, you need at least 1 Chi before you are able to be healed in any way, whether naturally, by magic or by medical practice. That's right, you need fucking acupuncturists around for surgical operations. Do you carry your healing crystals, Frank?
So Chi is PE + any bonuses from Martial Arts (a couple of them provide multipliers, which apply after bonuses, but you can never have more than one multiplier so even if you COULD take two of the multiplying arts, which you can't because they're all Primary Arts, you still wouldn't want to). You can regain lost Chi by sleeping or meditating, unless you have DISRUPTED Chi, in which case you need to use a Chi Skill (or find a slightly racist stereotype Chi Master to do it for you). If you have zero or negative Chi, you have to make weekly saves against getting sick and wasting away. This ends as soon as your Chi rises above zero, and as dumb as Chi-based health is conceptually in a world where you have to argue with dickheads about fucking vaccinations versus homeopathy, the idea is obviously so you can have a character be "poisoned" by someone jamming a finger into their thorax and activating a deadly Chi point that cases Chi Wasting.
This is a deadly attack. I was actually looking for the thing where Toutaku poisoned Hakufu's chi, but this will have to do.
They still haven't explained what you can do with your Chi. Alignments are still in, and they still have the rant about how there is no such thing as Neutral. Normally it's just Good (Principled, Scrupulous), Selfish/Self-Serving (Unprincipled, Anarchist) and Evil (Aberrant, Miscreant, Diabolic). Sometimes Anarchist is put in the same basket as Evil for certain requirements, whatever. This time around, they also look at it from the perspective of Honourable (Principled, Unprincipled, Aberrant), Non-Honourable (Scrupulous, Anarchist) and Dishonourable (Miscreant, Diabolic). They also throw in a thing on the principles of Bushido, reduced to "enough to fit on a playing card".
Experience... Insanity... oh hey skill programs! Now we get an idea what some of these skills do! You didn't come here to see lists of skill percentages and shit though, so I'm not going to list them. Okay? I'll just mention that the programs (which are groups of skills) fit into the following categories: Gimoteer (a specific OCC), Medical, Espionage, Military and Basic. I will point out that they go into more detail as to what the skills are used for and how they work than in RIFTS (TM) where you just sort of HAVE the skills and that's that.
Yes, physical skills still boost your stats.
Now, here are all the OCCs you can pick:
-Martial Artists: Dedicated Martial Artist, Worldly Martial Artist
-Espionage Agents: Cyber Agent, Gadgeteer Agent, Operator Agent, Wired Agent
-Free Agents: Private Eye, Professional Free Agent, Thief Free Agent, Wandering Free Agent
-Gizmoteers: Dreamer Gizmoteer, Gizoid Gizmoteer, Tinker Gizmoteer
-Mercenaries: Academy Officer, Commando Mercenary, Cyborg Soldier, Veteran Grunt
Here is where I leave off for now, but rest assured, I will be back to mock things, and to provide pictures for what I think the classes are meant to represent. Even if the book predates the things I think of because seriously, I was only 4 in 1988 and I consider anything before my time to be pre-historic.
I will post this meme until you like it.
This time we go back to 1988. Except not really because the revised edition is copyright 1990. Except this is the revised seventh printing so it's 2000. Except it probably isn't MUCH revised, so what the fuck. It's either older than some of you, or "old enough to consent to sex in most countries that aren't America".
Please, don't fuck books.
Anyway, here it is, Palladium (R) presents, Ninjas & Superspies (TM)
Now, the drink of choice is of course Glenfiddich single malt scotch whisky. The music shall be Everybody is Kung-fu fighting. An obvious choice.
This is written by Erick Wujcik, with three editors, one RPG Design Editor (Kevin), one Art Director (also Kevin), five artists, and also the typography and keylining are by other people with the last name Siembieda so probably just Kev's family forced to do it at gunpoint. It is allegedly compatible with Heroes Unlimited (TM) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (R) RPG and the After the Bomb (R) series.
This book has TWO disclaimers! The first one is not to get your gi in a twist if the martial arts presented are inaccurate (he knows what martial art fanatics are like, I guess), because they are not to be confused with the martial arts in the real world. So everything is to fit the game world or for game balance. Yes, game balance, by the creator of RIFTS (TM). So anything unbalanced from here on out means DRINK ONCE. Why can't he just say "Because it's a game and also I didn't actually study every martial art in the world, I'm taking my cues from some old books that give two pages on each of twenty martial arts, and a bunch of HKAT films"? Okay to be fair he DOES say "And, where I didn't have the data, I just made it up". This predates Wikipedia, so I guess that's okay. I mean, before Wiki, that's how literally all research ever was done, right? Just make it up if you don't happen to know it? Also he points out that in the real world there aren't actually any Good or Evil martial arts, and even all the ones that place emphasis on honour have their own definitions of honour, so any alignment things included are just for the game.
Disclaimer 2 is the standard "This is an RPG, don't actually try this stuff or think you are a kung fu master because you played one in a game" crossed with the standard "We know martial arts are cool, but don't learn it from a book, learn it from a proper master and don't injure yourself" which was standard for basically any book that mentioned martial arts back then. They don't say that now because these days you can learn chokeholds on youtube. Performed by sexy ladies.
I am going to be ruthless in skipping a lot of shit apart from when it's particularly different from the norm. So for instance, it uses the "Most Palladium (TM) games" thing for stats where 16-18 gives you an extra d6, but not the Ninja Turtles thing where sixes explode on bonus dice. You choose an OCC in this game, and then choose skills like normal (as in, skill programs like in Heroes Unlimited (R) or TMNT (R)), except unlike RIFTS (TM), you don't just grab a HtH skill and be done with it, you instead have a bunch of martial art options which have a bit more impact on your character. For some characters, half your fucking skills actually come from your martial arts. Also some Martial Arts will let you choose martial arts powers. But I get ahead of myself. BUT SO DOES THE BOOK.
Oh I should mention this game doesn't use MDC. That's probably for the best, even if it does rule out giant robots (ruling them out is never for the best). It goes straight into the rules of damage, SDC and HP as well as optional random tables for side effects of injuries. It also mentions Chi, which is basically PPE. Or simply your attention, as it explains "distracting a kid so you can take something out of their grip" as a Chi thing. Um, okay. I'm going to have a drink, my Chi has been disrupted.
Also, you need at least 1 Chi before you are able to be healed in any way, whether naturally, by magic or by medical practice. That's right, you need fucking acupuncturists around for surgical operations. Do you carry your healing crystals, Frank?
So Chi is PE + any bonuses from Martial Arts (a couple of them provide multipliers, which apply after bonuses, but you can never have more than one multiplier so even if you COULD take two of the multiplying arts, which you can't because they're all Primary Arts, you still wouldn't want to). You can regain lost Chi by sleeping or meditating, unless you have DISRUPTED Chi, in which case you need to use a Chi Skill (or find a slightly racist stereotype Chi Master to do it for you). If you have zero or negative Chi, you have to make weekly saves against getting sick and wasting away. This ends as soon as your Chi rises above zero, and as dumb as Chi-based health is conceptually in a world where you have to argue with dickheads about fucking vaccinations versus homeopathy, the idea is obviously so you can have a character be "poisoned" by someone jamming a finger into their thorax and activating a deadly Chi point that cases Chi Wasting.
This is a deadly attack. I was actually looking for the thing where Toutaku poisoned Hakufu's chi, but this will have to do.
They still haven't explained what you can do with your Chi. Alignments are still in, and they still have the rant about how there is no such thing as Neutral. Normally it's just Good (Principled, Scrupulous), Selfish/Self-Serving (Unprincipled, Anarchist) and Evil (Aberrant, Miscreant, Diabolic). Sometimes Anarchist is put in the same basket as Evil for certain requirements, whatever. This time around, they also look at it from the perspective of Honourable (Principled, Unprincipled, Aberrant), Non-Honourable (Scrupulous, Anarchist) and Dishonourable (Miscreant, Diabolic). They also throw in a thing on the principles of Bushido, reduced to "enough to fit on a playing card".
Experience... Insanity... oh hey skill programs! Now we get an idea what some of these skills do! You didn't come here to see lists of skill percentages and shit though, so I'm not going to list them. Okay? I'll just mention that the programs (which are groups of skills) fit into the following categories: Gimoteer (a specific OCC), Medical, Espionage, Military and Basic. I will point out that they go into more detail as to what the skills are used for and how they work than in RIFTS (TM) where you just sort of HAVE the skills and that's that.
Yes, physical skills still boost your stats.
Now, here are all the OCCs you can pick:
-Martial Artists: Dedicated Martial Artist, Worldly Martial Artist
-Espionage Agents: Cyber Agent, Gadgeteer Agent, Operator Agent, Wired Agent
-Free Agents: Private Eye, Professional Free Agent, Thief Free Agent, Wandering Free Agent
-Gizmoteers: Dreamer Gizmoteer, Gizoid Gizmoteer, Tinker Gizmoteer
-Mercenaries: Academy Officer, Commando Mercenary, Cyborg Soldier, Veteran Grunt
Here is where I leave off for now, but rest assured, I will be back to mock things, and to provide pictures for what I think the classes are meant to represent. Even if the book predates the things I think of because seriously, I was only 4 in 1988 and I consider anything before my time to be pre-historic.