Krystal "Team Fortress" Brooks here, in my latest British review of dice games. See what I did there?
ELITE DANGEROUS
So we have the Possessed. Traditionally these have been kind of shit due to randomness. Overall I would say that this time around they're less bad. Backhanded compliment of the year, I know.
So they're Daemons of Khorne in Power Armour, meaning they have 3+/5++, which is a good start, and they have S 5 and 2 Attacks, but only one CCW. Not a pair, no firearms at all, no Chainaxes or Power Weapons. They're also Fleet, Fearless and ALSO have the Mark of Khorne. So when they charge you it's 4 attacks at Strength 6 - now we're getting somewhere! When you charge them it's still 3 attacks at Strength 5. Also, if a unit is locked in close combat, roll 1d3 at the start of the Fight Sub-Phase. Also drink three times. You either get to re-roll failed Wounds, AP 3 (so sometimes they DO have power swords), or +1 Attack and +1 Initiative. At 5-20 models, they CAN pile some dangerous attacks in, there is that. They can take a Rhino.
Overall, they at least have a use, even though you wouldn't build an army around them.
Chaos Terminators of Khorne!
There are some hilariously bad paintjobs for these. But there are also some, like above, with great edge highlighting and details.
3-10 Terminators with Twin Bolter and a Power Weapon (any). Mark of Khorne. Any model can swap the power weapon for a Lightning Claw or a Power Fist or Chain Fist. Any model can swap the Twin Bolter for a Combi-[Flamer/Melta/Plasma]. Any model can swap both weapons for a pair of Lightning Claws. The upgrade costs are actually pretty reasonable, and they're only 34 points each at the base, too, so it's not an automatic "no". 1/5 models can swap his gun out for a Heavy Flamer or a Reaper. These ARE kind of pricey, but then again, a Relentless model with a 2+/5++ is a great base for an Autocannon. They can take a Land Raider.
BLOODCRUSHERS (drink once)
An image search gave better paintjobs than this, but I wanted to sear your eyes with ALL THAT RED. Besides, the best one didn't let me hotlink.
3-9 giant armoured cavalry assholes. They're basically Bloodletters on Rhyhorns. I might still be thinking of Pokemon. Anyway, at 5/5/5/4/3/4/3/7/6+/5++ they're nothing to sneeze at. They are expensive, and are Fearless, Derp Striking Daemons of Khorne with Power Swords. Great for summoning close to the action. The enemy then has to decide whether to unleash as much firepower as possible (thus sparing other units) or accept 12 S 5 AP 3 attacks (and 3 S 5 AP - Hammer of Wrath attacks).
Now we have the Fast Attack. Seeing as the god of warfare doesn't use stealth bombers and artillery platforms and attack helicopters, you want fast things, so as to "get up in their business" as they say on the street.
Chaos Spawn are actually kind of useful: as blobs.
And as nightmare fuel.
Mark of Khorne, Rage, Fearless, Fear, Very Bulky, and rolls 1d6 each turn to determine its attacks. It's a Beast, so moves fast. S 5 T 5 W 3, so it's actually not bad as a "Lock up in combat, sit there with a smug look and absorb hits" unit. And thanks to moving fast, that's exactly what you do. And then the enemy unit is already locked in combat, so can't Overwatch your high-impact stuff.
As an added bonus, you also roll 1d3 each round of combat... and bloody hell, drink three times AGAIN. So yes, each round of combat you roll a d6 and a d3 for the unit. The possibilities are a 4+ Armour Save, roll 2drop1 for the attacks, or Poisoned 4+. I'm not going to lie to you, they're not superduper. But they help a little.
RHINOS? THE ENEMY HIDE IN
METAL BOXES! THE COWARDS... THE FOOLS! WE SHALL... TAKE AWAY THEIR METAL BOXES.
That doesn't look bad. To make up for it, I'll link you to THIS one, which does look bad.
This is the Rhino that everyone has, for the same cost, with the same stats. As a Chaos one it has a Twin Bolter rather than a Storm Bolter, and you don't really care. Also it still counts for BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Chaos Bikers:
Points for being metal
3-10, at Toughness 5 (because Marines on Bikes), both flavours of grenade, Bolt Pistol and CCW, and Mark of Khorne. Two can take a Flamer, Melta or Plasma Gun. Nothing special, but they have obvious uses as early-strike things, especially for popping tanks open and maybe scoring First Blood that way. You could very well have a reason to take them, is what I'm saying.
Flesh Hounds:
These are Bad Dogs.!
5-20 Beasts with 2 Wounds each. They're Daemons of Khorne with Fearless and Derp Strike, and they can Scout. They're probably better to actually take as part of your army than to summon, but creating a batch of 8 to charge nearby enemies certain has potential. Still, 3 attacks on the charge at S 5 AP - without Rending or anything.
Raptors:
5-15 guys with Jump Pack, BP, CCW and both Grenades. Mark of Khorne. Cause Fear. You probably take these because a Formation demands it, to be honest. Two models can take a Plasma Pistol/Gun, a Flamer, or a Melta Gun. They're not great but they're not completely shit. If nothing else you could push them forward and use them as a summoning platform.
Warp Talons:
They're like Raptors but nearly twice as expensive! 5-10 of them, and they only have Power Armour, Jump Pack and 2 Lightning Claws. No Grenades. They are Daemons of Khorne with a Mark of Khorne, and if they Derp Strike within 6" of an enemy (veeeeery risky), the enemy gets hit by a Blind attack. I like the idea and the imagery, and sure, S 4 AP - Hammer of Wrath followed by 4 S 5 AP 3 Shredding attacks per model is great, and the Blind is a great support thing when it lands... but these are expensive and too risky to use. Sorry.
MOTHERFUCKING HELL DRAKE!
The wings remind me of Bahamut Zero from FF7. So does the damage payload.
These are great, and used to be considered broken. Honestly they're just "standing out as an excellent unit in an otherwise mediocre dex" in Chaos Meringues. No you can't squadron them. It's BS 3 F 12 S 12 R 10 HP 3 as a Flyer with Hover Mode. It is a Daemon of Khorne (5++ motherfucker), has regeneration, and comes with an autocannon that shoots a whole bunch of times (S 8 AP 4 Heavy 4 Pinning). So not only is it hard to destroy (even a penetrating hit that gets "Explodes" still has a 1/3 chance of being negated), but it throws a lot of fire out. It can Vector Strike - slamming its body into enemy units like a Flying Monster. This is Strength 7 so is decent for popping transports open. It can also swap the autocannon for a Torrent Flamer (ie "more range like a Hellhound) that is S 6 AP 3. Imagine if it smashed a transport open with its head, and then a group of Marines had to pour out. In a tight formation.
:D
Oh also, once per game, it gets to re-roll all failed Wounds/Penetration rolls, but then has to roll 1d6. On a 1 it loses a HP with no saves (but can still regenerate it).
Looks really cool too.
HEAVY SUPPORT:
Land Raiders!
You know what these are and how they work. Slightly cheaper for Chaos because they don't get Power of the Machine Spirit.
Forgefiend!
Reminds me of Wolfenstein 3D. GUTEN TAG!
It's a Walker vehicle that is also a Daemon of Khorne, and Fleet, and Regenerates, and has the 1/game re-roll Wounds but take a potential hit. Has two Hades Autocannons (the ones that shoot a lot), but can swap them for S 8 Plasma Cannons and can also put a third S 8 Plasma Cannon in its face. If you take a crazy robots force, have one of these painted red, one painted black and green, one Helldrake painted pink, and two Maulerfiends (up next), one blue and one yellow. And I guess take a black Defiler. Then shout POWER RANGERS, GO! every time you unleash your army.
Maulerfiend!
Cheaper than above, but it has all the same rules of the above, as well as the ability to move 12" in the Move Phase and flat-out ignore difficult terrain. It also adds +1 to penetrate buildings. It gets two Power Fists and two Magma Cutters, and can replace the latter with two sets of Lasher Tendrils. Lasher Tendrils can be really handy: every model in base contact loses 1 Attack per set of Lasher Tendrils. So if five guys charge the Maulerfiend, they each lose 2 Attacks. If two Maulerfiends charge the same thing, that's -4. Minimum 1 though. Magma Cutters give you 1 bonus auto-hit against a model you already hit in close combat with other weapons, at Initiative 1, S 8 AP 1 Armourbane. If you have two (you do), you get two of those hits as long as ALL of your regular attacks hit. Usually not as good as tendrils.
Defiler!
The heavy siege walker. Daemon of Khorne, Fleet, Regeneration, the re-roll-but-hit rule, Battle Cannon, Twin Heavy Flamer, Reaper Autocannon, Two Fists. It can swap the fire out for a Havoc launcher or a Power Scourge, and can swap the Reaper out for another Fist, a Twin Heavy Bolter, or a Twin Lascannon. Big, cool looking, and expensive. Probably too expensive, but at 4 Hull Points, Regenerating, 5++, it might be able to survive all the incoming attention and still do things.
Soul Grindr. I mean Grinder.
It's another heavy Siege Walker. Daemon of Khorne, Deep Strike, and ignores Shaken/Stunned on a 2+. It has an Iron Claw (literally the same as a Power Fist, so drink once. Also they call out that it's Unwieldy even though it's only taken on a Walker, which ignores the Unwieldy rule, so drink once more.) and a Harvester Cannon (3 shots fired out at S 7, either ground or air based). It can also take a Warp Sword (Master Crafted Power Sword that doesn't get dual-wield bonuses unless taken as a pair) and one of the following: Baleful Torrent (S 6 AP 4 Torrent Flamer), Warp Gaze (S 10 AP 1 Heavy 1), Phlegm Bombardment (S 8 AP 3 Ordinance Large Blast).
Helbrute:
There are a lot of tentacles involved with Khorne.
A shitty Chaos Dreadnought, in an edition where even regular Dreads aren't taken when you don't have to. Multi-Melta and Power Fist, can swap them out for lots of different weapons, and every time it takes a Glancing or Penetrating hit, you have to roll on a random table and this time I don't drink. 1 = Immobilised for one turn but shoot twice. 2 = recover from any Shaken/Stunned results, and gain Rage for the turn. 3 = as above, plus Fleet, and HAS to charge if it can.
Skull Cannon:
It's a Chariot with Bloodletter crew, so it CAN charge for Strength 7 Hammer of Wrath hits if it REALLY wants (and get the S 4 or 5 AP 3 attacks as well). But that's usually dumb. It's a Daemon of Khorne that can Derp Strike. If it does cause Wounds with Hammer of Wrath, it has a chance of regaining Hull Points. It also has a Skull Cannon (the weapon, it isn't recursively equipped with itself), which can be really handy for patching up a weakness of certain grenadeless units. Basically it's a S 8 Large Blast the Ignores Cover and hit units are marked for the rest of the turn, such that friendly units ignore terrain when charging them, as though they had grenades.
LORDS OF WAR:
Lord of Skulls:
This costs 888 points, which has been very carefully worked out not only through weeks of math-hammering, but through arduous playtesting, to make sure it is worth precisely that amount. I'm kidding, they just put Khorne's number three times and patted themselves on the back.
It's a Super-Heavy "Walker", a Daemon of Khorne, and has Regeneration, Fleet and Rage. It also has the 1/game rule of all the other crazy walkers. Every time it loses a Hull Point, even if it later regenerates it, it gets a permanent +1 Attack (maximum 10). Also it can't Stomp (sadface), but can Tank Shock/Ram with the Super-Heavy Thunderblitz table (this is good). It gets a Great Cleaver (Strength D AP 1), a Gorestorm Cannon (Hellstorm Template, S 8 AP 3), and a Hades Gatling Cannon (S 8 AP 3 Heavy 12 Pinning). But it can swap the Gorestorm for an Ichor Cannon (S 7 AP 2 Large Blast) or a Daemongore Cannon (like the Gorestorm but S 9, Instant Death, Gets Hot!), and the Hades for a Skull Hurler (S 9 AP 3 Apocalyptic Blast, re-roll successful saving throws).
And now what you've been waiting for... THE DECURION OF KHORNE!
The Blood Host requires you drink once, of course.
It has 1+ Slaughtercults
Each Slaughtercult allows up to 1 Lord of Slaughter (any Bloodthirster or a Lord of Skulls, no special rules added)
Each Slaughtercult also grants 1-8 Auxiliary choices:
Re-roll the Warlord Trait of Khorne, and get +1 Blood Tithe point per turn automatically.
Slaughtercult is:
1 Chaos Lord or Daemon Prince or Herald or Blood Throne or Unfettered Fury, or Skulltaker
2-8 chosen from Chaos Space Marines, Berzerkers, Bloodletters
1-4 Possessed
0-2 Chaos Cultists (ie "No you can't just take tiny cheap Troops choices and spend all the points on monsters you asshole", I don't know if that's an Overreaction, but drink anyway)
0-2 Chaos Spawn
If Chaos Cultists fail a Morale test, you can instantly remove them as casualties and get the Blood Tithe Point for it. Any time you spend any BT points, gain TWO benefits: the normal one you spent, and also any one of lesser value (up to 4). The second one only affects this formation.
Auxiliary:
Brazen Onslaught
1-4 Terminators
2-4 Bloodcrushers
All units that are outnumbered in close combat get +1 Attack (every model gets the +1)
Khorne's Bloodstorm (drink once)
2-4 Raptors
1-4 Warp Talons :(
0-1 HELDRAKE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED
(Yes, the rest are a point tax for having a Heldrake)
They all get +1 Strength on their Hammer of Wrath and Vector Strike attacks, so S 5 for HoW and S 8 Vector Strike
Gorepack
2-4 Bikers
1-4 Hounds
Move Through Cover, Preferred Enemy (Psykers). Flesh Hounds get Hammer of Wrath, and the Chaos Bikers re-roll to Wound for their HoW.
Charnel Cohort ie "I already have a Daemons army"
1 of the following; Daemon Prince, Herald, Blood Throne, Skulltaker
2-8 Bloodletters
1-4 Flesh Hounds
1-4 Bloodcrushers
0-4 Skull Cannons
Whole formation gets Counter Attack. If the HQ is in Derp Strike Reserve, you can re-roll its Reserve roll. Other units from this formation don't scatter if they're within 6" of it. Warp Talons wish they had this so they could accurately deliver their Blindness. Also if the enemy for some reason isn't Fearless and thus has to actually test Fear against this formation, it's at -2 Ld.
War Engine: 1 Helbrute, Defiler, Soul Grinder, Forgefield, Maulerfiend, or Lord of Skulls, but Heldrakes aren't allowed in because fuck you (drink once for their overreactions). No special benefits, it's seriously just "you get a Walker vehicle".
Overall? It's not bad. It's a vast improvement over Chaos Marines and Daemons, but that's mainly due to carving off the Instability and Warp Storm rules, and adding good benefits to the Decurion. The Blood Tithe (specifically, getting units killed (this will be your main source - you will only fight challenges against people also forced to issue/accept, and against people who can reliably beat you) and then summoning more) is a good addition if you have the spare models. Or are playing on Vassal. It is a risky army, to be sure, and you have to play dangerously aggressively, but it is possible to make that work in a way that it previously wasn't. A lot of units still cost too much or, out of formations, don't bring enough to the table, but that's because they've tried to make them essentially the same unit as in the existing Dex. If Chainaxes are simply AP 4 weapons, then no-one really cares about your Berzerkers, and that's what they are in Codex: Chaos Marines, so that's what they are here.
But in general it gets a nod of approval. Let's see some really nicely painted Khorne stuff with smooth, layered/airbrushed orange-red plates and nicely highlit edges, and bold brass sections.
So what next? We have Tau, Eldar, Inquisition, Knights, Space Marines and Assassins. I think that's all?
Final notes on answering maglag:
Yes, you twat, they love teenage boys. Not in the "going to prison" way, but in the sense that middle class teenage boys get their parents to buy them all this crap, and if they get bored and leave a bunch of unfinished
but already purchased plastic lying around the house,
that's just fine by them. Look around the GW stores (if they haven't been replaced by tiny 1-man shops that just sell items and take pre-orders for kits) and note that half the people there are actually teenage boys. Yes there are also plenty of "something older than 30" neckbeards too, it's about an even split.
And until Orks, Nids, Daemons of Nurgle, Chaos Marines of Slaanesh/Tzeench, and Sisters all have good solid dexes and they release an "Oh shit" splat that fixes Dark Eldar's Wych Cult side of things, I expect you to eat either crow or a hat. It is your choice. If that happens I will accept that okay, they've been paying attention to their rules beyond "Overreacting to the one thing that makes people freak out" and gradually fixing things.