C'mon devils. Iirc devils v demon of similar cr is curbstomp by the devils combat-wise but they tend to not have the social skills (diplo, sense motive, etc) so that it would matter.
Oh, demons weigh like 10x as much too. Do not ask why.
OSSR: Fiendish Codex Double Feature (3.5)
Moderator: Moderators
Devils don't have bones or organs, they're just sacks of tiny devils. I would imagine this impacts their weight.
I would also imagine this makes it difficult to stab them in the kidneys, given their lack of them, but strangely it doesn't.
I would also imagine this makes it difficult to stab them in the kidneys, given their lack of them, but strangely it doesn't.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.
You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
Demon Feats!
Obviously, first things first, there are things called Abyssal Heritor Feats. These Voltron together to buff each other, or at least are supposed to. I will be tracking these feats separately from other feats with a combined score. Each Heritor feat that is garbage will be worth zero points, each one that I could conceive of a character build using without it being terrible shall be awarded 1 point, and if a feat is actually good enough that it could reasonably be described as a better feat than other standard options, that will be worth 2 points. I’ll keep track of this as an X/Y number where Y is the number of feats, theoretically, that means X could be higher than Y, but let’s be honest, it won’t be.
Abyss-Bound Soul [Vile]: You get a +2 to saves against the good descriptor, and some minor benefit based on which Demon Lord you worship. Highlights include Baphomet for double charge damage (to go with all your other doubles), Graz’zt for fear immunity, Dagon for waterbreathing, and Pazuzu for +2 bullshit bonus to Ref saves while flying. Not a lot going on here, but whatever. Also when you die you can only be restored by True Resurrection, Wish, or Miracle. So you have an in character reason to make the other PCs pay more for you to not lose a level, or alternatively, to Greyhawk yourself because you just can’t afford a Raise Dead. Not terrible, though I would probably only use it for a pure charger build, either mounted lance or shocktrooper. And even then it has two pre-req feats we will get to.
Blood War Conscript [Vile]: Has a pre-req and gives you +1 to attack and damage against lawful and good enemies… so basically worse than weapon focus.
Chaotic Spell Recall [AH]: 1/day + 1/day for every two AH feats, swift action recall any spell with the Chaotic Descriptor that you cast. -2 penalty to concentration checks. If you are a cleric using Summon Monster spells. But otherwise, using it as intended is shit. On the other hand, by not taking any PrC levels for 6-10 as a Wizard you can be a planar Wizard and apply the Chaotic spell descriptor to all spells you cast, and then just pile more and more AH feats on. 2/1!
Claws of the Beast [AH]: +1 bonus to damage on natural attacks or unarmed strikes, also a profane bonus, and you can get profane bonuses from spells, so not even untyped like weapon specialization. Worthless. 2/2.
Cloak of the Obyrith [AH]: DR 1/lawful +1 for each AH feat. Might be okay for the above Planar Wizard build. 3/3
Dark Speech [Vile]: This one deserves a special note. All of the Demon Lords have this feat. So apparently this feat is the reason that Orcus isn’t immune to ability damage, because they want him spend the cost to use this feat. There are three abilities, one starts at level 1 as a save or die, and then becomes worthless by level 11, one allows you to get +1 CL to a spell, (but only a spell, not an SLA, since it requires the spell to have a verbal component and you to use it), you can halve an objects hardness as a full round action, and you can create a Vermin Hivemind, which I’m sure has some bullshit TO use, but seems mostly worthless. If you are immune to ability damage it is a free +1 to CL on all your spells with verbal components for a feat. Not terrible, but you’ll notice that basically none of the Demon Lords can use it for fuck all, since they only face high level opposition and don’t cast spells.
Demonic Conduit: Spell Focus that applies based on your opposition having alignment subtypes opposed to you. Fucking garbage.
Demonic Skin AH: +1 Natural Armor +1 per two AH feats. Mostly worthless, you would only take this to feed into your Chaotic feats for the above mage, and you would still feel bad about it. Still better than dodge though.
Demonic Sneak Attack AH: Pre-req have SA, reroll dice equal to AH feats. Pretty shit. 3/5
Demon Mastery: +2 on Charisma checks on planar binding tests, you know, the check you can retry. Also +1 to CL on summon spells that you use to summon demons. Running out of synonyms for garbage.
Evil Brand: +2 to Diplo and intimidate against evil creatures. Only ever take this if you are using it as a pre-req for the double damage charge feat.
Extract Demonic Essence: That shitty planar bind charisma check feat is a pre-req, also so item creation feats. Basically, instead of spending XP normally to cast a spell or craft an item, you spend half XP and suck the rest of the energy from a Demon. That sounds good in theory, and it kind of is if you are already an artificer or whatever, but honestly, there are just so many dumb tack ons that it is going to suck. Obviously first you have to Planar Bind your subject, then you have to force him to fail a save, which you will because you can do this as many times as you want, and then you both take 1d6 Con damage, so you have someone with lesser restoration, and then you have to make a DC 20+demon HD concentration check or the spell fails. Which is probably going to be a tad rough, since you have to use a Demon with more HD than the CL of the item you are crafting or spell you are casting. Also with items there is a 10% chance the item is cursed. I mean, if you are already an item crafter, at the cost of two feats you spend half XP, but aren’t there like 6 other feats that reduce cost of XP and GP? Is this even reasonable to fit in? Fuck this feat for even making me wonder if an artificer wants to suck demon energy into his item.
Eyes of the Abyss AH: Darkvision out to 30ft and a bonus to spot and listen equal to your AH feats. Fucking shit.
Heart of the Nabassu AH: You ignore the first two negative levels each day. Ug. Just no.
Keeper of Forbidden Lore AH: Bonus on Spellcraft, Know Planes, and Bardic Knowledge equal to AH feats. SHIT. 3/8
Ordered Chaos You are unusually lawful for an Abyssal Heritor! You don’t get the alignment effects for your AH feats. Spells and “effects” affect you as if you were chaotic as well as you actual alignment (it even specifically says you can take feats with chaotic pre-reqs). So this isn’t an AH feat, because fuck you Wizard, and this is basically used either for PrC requirements, or as a free toss on to being immune to Word of Chaos if you aren’t Chaotic. Also for reasons that confuse me, no part of the pre-reqs require you to be evil or worship a demon or anything, so this is basically just a feat that good guys and devils take to fuck over anyone who uses Word of Chaos. Where is the evil version of this feat to fuck over everyone using Blasphemy?
Otherwordly Countenance AH: When you take this feat, you have to choose whether you are super pretty or super ugly. You get a bonus on Perform if pretty or intimidate if ugly equal to AH feats. Also you get as many uses per day as you have AH feats of a gaze attack that either fascinates or sickens as a full round action. How pathetic. 3/9
Poison Healer: When you succeed on fort save against poison you heal HP equal to con bonus. Fuck shit like this. Now the bag of rats is a snakebelt. This is so dumb.
Poison Talons AH: Once per hour you get a 1d4 str damage poison on your claws. No one cares because this is so shit.
Precognitive Visions AH: you get +1 insight per two AH feats towards AC, attack rolls, Init, one saving throw or one skill, so basically to init. Ug, still terrible. You would have to have eight fucking feats with this being one of them before you would equal Improved Init.
Primordial Scion AH: Attacks bypass DR as if chaotic aligned. Also 1d6+1d6 per four fucking AH feats of damage to LAWFUL CREATURES ONLY! FUCK THIS SHIT. 3/12
Thrall to Demon: Also pre-req for double charge feat. Once per day you can get a +1 luck bonus to pretty much anything. Once per day. +1. Once per day. +1.
Vestigial Wings AH: Bonus to fucking jump checks (I’m not even going to tell you how much because no one has ever fucking cared) and featherfall. LIGHT MY SOUL ON FIRE 3/13.
Feats in General
So it seems pretty clear that this book was all about voltroning your feats together to get something good. And it is also pretty clear that everyone writing these feats was a fucking idiot. If you had like, 40 feats, two per level. Abyssal Heritor feats give you the tiniest shittiest bonuses and commit you to taking a bunch of those feats to have anything decent, and most of those feats are basically garbage that no one benefits from. Every feat that is even remotely worth taking, like double damage charge or weird semit XP reduction has a bunch of pre-reqs and requirements, none of which are worth anything. I don’t think AH feats as a concept can ever actually work, and aside from Ordered Chaos and double damage charge there isn’t anything any build would ever even use.
Demon Spells!
First the section offers six new domains:
Corruption, garbage in every way.
Demonic, Mostly shit. Granted power is garbage, Basically, as far as it goes, all you need to know is that a domain gives Dimensional Anchor and the Planar Binding spells, so in case you wanted your Beguiler/Cleric to Planar Bind things, he can. Aside from that some mostly shitty buff spells you won’t use.
Entropy Crap granted power, but a decent to decentish debuff spell at every level. Overly fear themed, and never the best spell, but a solid domain to add for a class list spellcaster.
Fury Someone didn’t know what they wanted to do with the granted power. Once per day as a free action you get some minor bonuses against a specific target that last until you select a new target. What? Basically they last until the target is dead, because you get once use per day. Mostly some shitty buffs that are already on the Cleric list at every level. Pass.
Ooze Rebuke Oozes, as if you care, but Grease, Web, Transmute Rock to Mud, Slime Wave, and Implosion are on the list, so at some levels it is a worthwhile list of spells, either before level 6, or after level 11.
Temptation Super minor bonus to Cha checks and save DCs of mind affecting spells that only work when you are unarmored (and not when you are in pretty armor, because why? Fuck if I know). This is basically the spell list you know it is, Charm, Suggestion, and Dominate make up 6 of the 9 spells, and the others are just similar themed not that great spells.
Abyssal Frenzy Level 8 Cleric, level 7 Fury domain. This is either an extremely short term buff (1 round per level) to your fighter, or a Will negates non-mind affecting save or die. It gives some really mediocre bonuses, but makes it so that the target can’t cast spells or use SLAs, or activated items. Will negates makes it not that great, and limited to humanoid, magical beast, or monstrous humanoid hurts too, but basically, this is what you pull out for that odd caster class with low will saves but always walks around in MindBlank. There is a Mass version at level 9 in the Fury domain.
Abyssal Rift a 1000gp material component lets you cast Earthquake but with 6d6 damage as a 9th level Wizard spell. No one ever cares.
Beckoning Call This could have been a decent spell at Bard 2, that causes people to come to you, there is all this language about how they take the least dangerous path, but will go through danger. None of that matters, because it has a concentration duration, gives a new save every round, and you had to target a specific creature. So after two rounds of you both trading actions, it makes the save and you didn’t get to lure it off the cliff.
Befoul Cleric 8, Create a punch of poison water. No reason this couldn’t be level 5.
Demonic Wings Blackguards can fly. Also people with the Demon Domain. The funny part of this spell, is the verbal component is saying Pazuzu twice, and saying it three times lets him use all his detection stuff on you. So man, this spell must be a huge tease for him. Blackguard and Demon 3.
DemonCall +10 to a knowledge check… not really worth it. Blackguard and Demon 2.
Demonflesh Demon and Blackguard 1: Tiny bonus to Natural Armor.
Despoil This is ooze creatures level 9 spell that doesn’t do anything because the area can’t exceed touch range.
Embrace/Shun the Dark Chaos This is that stupid combo where someone can take Vow of Poverty, and then be captured by badguys and have all their Vow of Poverty feats replaced with Abyssal Heritor feats, and then have the Abyssal Heritor Feats replaced with actually good feats, so you can write “I’m a Wizard that starts the game with an additional 10 feats” if you start at level 10. You may also be able to do it with racially granted proficiencies, or Druids that Wildshape into Elementals until they have 500 feats and laugh manically. Because Druids, still better than you.
Exorcism This is a level 1 spell that can clear you of a possessing demon. Remember how fucking awesome possessing demons are, and how they can fuck your party super hard and the only thing that can stop them is Banishment and Dismissal? But this is level 1, so surely once you figure out a Demon is trolling the party, you can solve this problem with this level 1 Cleric spell right? Clerics, saving the party from debilitating effects since forever right? Right? RIGHT? Oh fuck you game. Personal Only. Can’t possess clerics . . . But everyone else is still fucked.
Extract Gift Level 5 spell, You can spend more money than it costs to buy an item to grant an enhancement bonus to an ability based on your Caster level, or a Competence bonus to a skill that can be dispelled. Or you can use Planar Binding, and an SLA version of this spell (such as Spell Stich) to give yourself a bonus that is higher than +6 at high levels (since it is out of combat optimization) that can’t be dispelled except with Disjunction. And get some competence bonuses to every skill while you are at it. More late game bullshit optimization that is useless when used as intended!
Fiendish Clarity Level 7 spell that gives you See in Magical Darkness and See Invis for 10 minutes per level. Meh.
Inner Beauty Bard 4: You cast it on a good or evil creature, and if good, they get a bonus ot Dex and Cha, and if evil a penalty. In either case everyone within 15ft who sees the creature has to make a save and either be nauseated for 1d4 rounds or stunned for one round (evil, good). What the fuck ever, just cast stinking cloud.
Morality Undone Turn people evil, Will negates. Cast on Vow of Poverty people to make them lose all their stuff and to punish them for using that stupid book.
Ooze Puppet Dominate Ooze. Yeah, that totally needed to be a new spell.
Pox Druid 6. 1d4 con damage, fort negates. . . So bad. Just cast Baleful Polymorph instead.
Slime Wave Level 7 Druid and Cleric. Probably replaced by the SpC version, but a 15ft radius that does at least 4d6 Con damage more to larger creatures on the first round, Ref negates. Could be as much as 24d6 Con damage. No idea what counts as “every 5ft of its face.” Also destroys metal and stone super hard. If each of the four faces is not scraped off in the first round, it repeats con damage and can only be removed by remove disease. So basically, make a reflex save or be immune to con damage, or die. That’s not terrible for a level 7 Spell, but it really annoying/unclear how it adds up con damage based on available faces, and I don’t know how many faces a medium or large creature have. I’m going to go look up Slimewave in the SpC to see how it was changed, because it needed it. Ugg. SpC Slimewave only attaches one patch of green slime to the creature. So if it knows to scrape the face off, this basically acts as a one round daze that does 1d6 Con damage. If it doesn’t, then it still dies from 16d6 con damage if it fails the save. Would have preferred if it put two patches on them or something, so this could at least kill a tightly clustered group of mooks.
Soul Link Level seven spell that you cast to basically be Status+Telepathy+No save Scry whenever you want later. Comes with all sorts of miscellaneous features like ability to give them a +2 enhancement bonus to a stat in return for you taking -2 penalty. Hours per level. You are basically never going to cast this, but if you did, it would be on an ally or a captured and therefore unconscious enemy, so you don’t care about how you can get +4 to the DC by letting them choose what attribute you take a penalty to, or that after they fail the will save on this Mind Affecting Necromancy they take a -4 penalty to saves against Mind Affecting spells you cast. Basically this is super niche, and only on the Wizard and Bard list, so no one will ever cast it. At least if it was a Cleric spell the one time it was useful someone could cast it.
Vision of Entropy Level 2 Will negates Phantasm. Lasts 1 round per level, and stacks fear and then unconsciouses people. Since you probably don’t have a CL higher than 4-5 when you would cast this spell, it basically is never even going to knock them unconscious, since they have to fail 4 saves to get there. Basically Cause Fear is better than this, and Glitterdust/Color Spray are way better. Arguably useful if you can cast it on someone and then have the entire party avoid combat with them for 15 rounds if you are high level and really need to use your second round spells for combat.
Summary
So Basically, a superpowered Ref save or die that got hard nerfed in the SpC, the ability to shuffle feats into completely different feats to abuse bonus feats, one level 8 Cleric spell that operates as a Will Negates non mind affecting Save or Die on spellcasters, so you can fuck over the random bad will progression casters, some late game permanent duration buffs that require hoop jumping to not be worthless, but once hoops are jumped, are just a straight numeric power up to everyone, and just a whole lot of garbage. Meh, pretty standard for the spells from a splat honestly.
The Black Cult
At this point the book randomly tells you about a cult devoted to collecting the writings of that one guy who theorized that the abyss was a single consciousness that controlled all demons. Basically, if you really want a really dumb organization for the PCs to be a part of that gives them an excuse to fight Demons, and you forgot the blood war exists, this is your ticket to using the monsters in the book in rapid succession. To be a member, you have to have a Base Will Save of +1, Decipher Script 1, Knowledge History 2, Knowledge the Planes 4, and have either been to the abyss for a day, or encountered a demon. So basically, level 1 Wizards can apply, everyone else wait till level 4 for no good reason.
The Benefits of joining basically amount to “when you fight Demons, you can sell their loot for 60-75% of value instead of 50%” Advancement in the Cult doesn’t really get you anything, but anyone capable of casting Lesser Planar Binding can be a Black Monitor in 2-3 days. Because apparently no one in the demon studying cult knows how to cast that spell, so they give promotion points that can be repeated for handing them a living demon to study.
They give some sample encounters: 1) PCs find artifact, some dickhole pays some gnomes to steal it from the PCs. 2) PCs are going to the Abyss, some nice helpful black cult fucks show up, and tag along, but one of them gets possessed by the ghost troll demon and fucks with the party forever.
The special snowflake artifacts that the cult is always looking for come next. Each artifact gives a minor bonus to Knowledge Planes checks and something else conditioned as being related to demons or the abyss, and some bonus powers. Using the powers has an increasing chance of summoning a demon that tries to kill you and take the scroll, this chance can only be reset if the scroll literally teleports of planeshifts away from you. So basically, get used to casting Locate fucking Object if you want to use these. But luckily, the reset doesn’t actually require you to do it during combat or anything, because it triggers on the presence of any demon, so you can just Planar Bind a demon and stand near it until the book TPs, and then go get it.
Abyssal Mundus Power 1: Planeshifts you to the Abyss, and automatically Greater Planeshifts you all back at the end of a time you specify in advance, except dead people. Power 2: Once per day, Greater Teleport 3: Once per week Gate spell for Demons only. 1d4+1 Nalfasheenes attack for the first two powers, and a Maralith and 1d4 Hezrous attack for the third. You are never going to use this because a Candle of Invocation and casting planeshift and Greater Teleport can do everything this can do, but without summoning EL 14-20 encounters to murder you.
Black Writings Standard action 60ft Cone gives True Seeing to everyone looking at something in Cone. Not terrible, and only causes 1d4+1 Succubi to appear, and since Succubi without minions are kind of shit, you could actually use this without feeling terrible sometimes. Although, Succubi appear up to a mile away and hour later, you can also just teleport, and they will never be able to find you since they don’t get any special knowledge about who has the artifact or used it.
Rubric of Tulket nor Ahm 1) +4 Bonus to saves against effects of demons, and +4 to the DC of all stuff he uses against demons. Lasts for 1 hour. Since each use increase chance of summoning demons by 1% and then rolls that percent, you probably aren’t going to use this except to farm the demons that arrive for XP. There are four versions of this, and each version grants a different second power. A) Gaseous Form 3 times a day, B) +10 Natural Armor for 10 rounds, C) +2 str and con from rages, D) See invis and some tempHP. The effects summon 1d4+1 of the demon pictured, which is either a Hezrou, Glabrezu, Blezau, or Goristro. Basically worthless for the abilities unless you want to farm demons. Also the Goristro one, you can just fly around summoning Goristros who can’t see you and can’t fly, in the middle of a city, if you wanted to troll.
Transcriptions of Ergon “Improved Forcecage” as an attack action. Basically Forcecage, but if anyone uses Teleport or Greater TP to try to escape, they have to make a level check against 1d20+21 or have it fail, and be unable to use it again for 10 minutes. Summons 1d4+1 Vrocks from overuse. Since you can put two Vrocks inside Force Cages on your first turn, you hardly even care. Obviously you don’t want to run around with 80% chance of Vrock Summon, but using the Planar Binding Reset method, this thing can instantly trivialize most encounters if you need it to. This is the first one I actually want to have.
Obviously, first things first, there are things called Abyssal Heritor Feats. These Voltron together to buff each other, or at least are supposed to. I will be tracking these feats separately from other feats with a combined score. Each Heritor feat that is garbage will be worth zero points, each one that I could conceive of a character build using without it being terrible shall be awarded 1 point, and if a feat is actually good enough that it could reasonably be described as a better feat than other standard options, that will be worth 2 points. I’ll keep track of this as an X/Y number where Y is the number of feats, theoretically, that means X could be higher than Y, but let’s be honest, it won’t be.
Abyss-Bound Soul [Vile]: You get a +2 to saves against the good descriptor, and some minor benefit based on which Demon Lord you worship. Highlights include Baphomet for double charge damage (to go with all your other doubles), Graz’zt for fear immunity, Dagon for waterbreathing, and Pazuzu for +2 bullshit bonus to Ref saves while flying. Not a lot going on here, but whatever. Also when you die you can only be restored by True Resurrection, Wish, or Miracle. So you have an in character reason to make the other PCs pay more for you to not lose a level, or alternatively, to Greyhawk yourself because you just can’t afford a Raise Dead. Not terrible, though I would probably only use it for a pure charger build, either mounted lance or shocktrooper. And even then it has two pre-req feats we will get to.
Blood War Conscript [Vile]: Has a pre-req and gives you +1 to attack and damage against lawful and good enemies… so basically worse than weapon focus.
Chaotic Spell Recall [AH]: 1/day + 1/day for every two AH feats, swift action recall any spell with the Chaotic Descriptor that you cast. -2 penalty to concentration checks. If you are a cleric using Summon Monster spells. But otherwise, using it as intended is shit. On the other hand, by not taking any PrC levels for 6-10 as a Wizard you can be a planar Wizard and apply the Chaotic spell descriptor to all spells you cast, and then just pile more and more AH feats on. 2/1!
Claws of the Beast [AH]: +1 bonus to damage on natural attacks or unarmed strikes, also a profane bonus, and you can get profane bonuses from spells, so not even untyped like weapon specialization. Worthless. 2/2.
Cloak of the Obyrith [AH]: DR 1/lawful +1 for each AH feat. Might be okay for the above Planar Wizard build. 3/3
Dark Speech [Vile]: This one deserves a special note. All of the Demon Lords have this feat. So apparently this feat is the reason that Orcus isn’t immune to ability damage, because they want him spend the cost to use this feat. There are three abilities, one starts at level 1 as a save or die, and then becomes worthless by level 11, one allows you to get +1 CL to a spell, (but only a spell, not an SLA, since it requires the spell to have a verbal component and you to use it), you can halve an objects hardness as a full round action, and you can create a Vermin Hivemind, which I’m sure has some bullshit TO use, but seems mostly worthless. If you are immune to ability damage it is a free +1 to CL on all your spells with verbal components for a feat. Not terrible, but you’ll notice that basically none of the Demon Lords can use it for fuck all, since they only face high level opposition and don’t cast spells.
Demonic Conduit: Spell Focus that applies based on your opposition having alignment subtypes opposed to you. Fucking garbage.
Demonic Skin AH: +1 Natural Armor +1 per two AH feats. Mostly worthless, you would only take this to feed into your Chaotic feats for the above mage, and you would still feel bad about it. Still better than dodge though.
Demonic Sneak Attack AH: Pre-req have SA, reroll dice equal to AH feats. Pretty shit. 3/5
Demon Mastery: +2 on Charisma checks on planar binding tests, you know, the check you can retry. Also +1 to CL on summon spells that you use to summon demons. Running out of synonyms for garbage.
Evil Brand: +2 to Diplo and intimidate against evil creatures. Only ever take this if you are using it as a pre-req for the double damage charge feat.
Extract Demonic Essence: That shitty planar bind charisma check feat is a pre-req, also so item creation feats. Basically, instead of spending XP normally to cast a spell or craft an item, you spend half XP and suck the rest of the energy from a Demon. That sounds good in theory, and it kind of is if you are already an artificer or whatever, but honestly, there are just so many dumb tack ons that it is going to suck. Obviously first you have to Planar Bind your subject, then you have to force him to fail a save, which you will because you can do this as many times as you want, and then you both take 1d6 Con damage, so you have someone with lesser restoration, and then you have to make a DC 20+demon HD concentration check or the spell fails. Which is probably going to be a tad rough, since you have to use a Demon with more HD than the CL of the item you are crafting or spell you are casting. Also with items there is a 10% chance the item is cursed. I mean, if you are already an item crafter, at the cost of two feats you spend half XP, but aren’t there like 6 other feats that reduce cost of XP and GP? Is this even reasonable to fit in? Fuck this feat for even making me wonder if an artificer wants to suck demon energy into his item.
Eyes of the Abyss AH: Darkvision out to 30ft and a bonus to spot and listen equal to your AH feats. Fucking shit.
Heart of the Nabassu AH: You ignore the first two negative levels each day. Ug. Just no.
Keeper of Forbidden Lore AH: Bonus on Spellcraft, Know Planes, and Bardic Knowledge equal to AH feats. SHIT. 3/8
Ordered Chaos You are unusually lawful for an Abyssal Heritor! You don’t get the alignment effects for your AH feats. Spells and “effects” affect you as if you were chaotic as well as you actual alignment (it even specifically says you can take feats with chaotic pre-reqs). So this isn’t an AH feat, because fuck you Wizard, and this is basically used either for PrC requirements, or as a free toss on to being immune to Word of Chaos if you aren’t Chaotic. Also for reasons that confuse me, no part of the pre-reqs require you to be evil or worship a demon or anything, so this is basically just a feat that good guys and devils take to fuck over anyone who uses Word of Chaos. Where is the evil version of this feat to fuck over everyone using Blasphemy?
Otherwordly Countenance AH: When you take this feat, you have to choose whether you are super pretty or super ugly. You get a bonus on Perform if pretty or intimidate if ugly equal to AH feats. Also you get as many uses per day as you have AH feats of a gaze attack that either fascinates or sickens as a full round action. How pathetic. 3/9
Poison Healer: When you succeed on fort save against poison you heal HP equal to con bonus. Fuck shit like this. Now the bag of rats is a snakebelt. This is so dumb.
Poison Talons AH: Once per hour you get a 1d4 str damage poison on your claws. No one cares because this is so shit.
Precognitive Visions AH: you get +1 insight per two AH feats towards AC, attack rolls, Init, one saving throw or one skill, so basically to init. Ug, still terrible. You would have to have eight fucking feats with this being one of them before you would equal Improved Init.
Primordial Scion AH: Attacks bypass DR as if chaotic aligned. Also 1d6+1d6 per four fucking AH feats of damage to LAWFUL CREATURES ONLY! FUCK THIS SHIT. 3/12
Thrall to Demon: Also pre-req for double charge feat. Once per day you can get a +1 luck bonus to pretty much anything. Once per day. +1. Once per day. +1.
Vestigial Wings AH: Bonus to fucking jump checks (I’m not even going to tell you how much because no one has ever fucking cared) and featherfall. LIGHT MY SOUL ON FIRE 3/13.
Feats in General
So it seems pretty clear that this book was all about voltroning your feats together to get something good. And it is also pretty clear that everyone writing these feats was a fucking idiot. If you had like, 40 feats, two per level. Abyssal Heritor feats give you the tiniest shittiest bonuses and commit you to taking a bunch of those feats to have anything decent, and most of those feats are basically garbage that no one benefits from. Every feat that is even remotely worth taking, like double damage charge or weird semit XP reduction has a bunch of pre-reqs and requirements, none of which are worth anything. I don’t think AH feats as a concept can ever actually work, and aside from Ordered Chaos and double damage charge there isn’t anything any build would ever even use.
Demon Spells!
First the section offers six new domains:
Corruption, garbage in every way.
Demonic, Mostly shit. Granted power is garbage, Basically, as far as it goes, all you need to know is that a domain gives Dimensional Anchor and the Planar Binding spells, so in case you wanted your Beguiler/Cleric to Planar Bind things, he can. Aside from that some mostly shitty buff spells you won’t use.
Entropy Crap granted power, but a decent to decentish debuff spell at every level. Overly fear themed, and never the best spell, but a solid domain to add for a class list spellcaster.
Fury Someone didn’t know what they wanted to do with the granted power. Once per day as a free action you get some minor bonuses against a specific target that last until you select a new target. What? Basically they last until the target is dead, because you get once use per day. Mostly some shitty buffs that are already on the Cleric list at every level. Pass.
Ooze Rebuke Oozes, as if you care, but Grease, Web, Transmute Rock to Mud, Slime Wave, and Implosion are on the list, so at some levels it is a worthwhile list of spells, either before level 6, or after level 11.
Temptation Super minor bonus to Cha checks and save DCs of mind affecting spells that only work when you are unarmored (and not when you are in pretty armor, because why? Fuck if I know). This is basically the spell list you know it is, Charm, Suggestion, and Dominate make up 6 of the 9 spells, and the others are just similar themed not that great spells.
Abyssal Frenzy Level 8 Cleric, level 7 Fury domain. This is either an extremely short term buff (1 round per level) to your fighter, or a Will negates non-mind affecting save or die. It gives some really mediocre bonuses, but makes it so that the target can’t cast spells or use SLAs, or activated items. Will negates makes it not that great, and limited to humanoid, magical beast, or monstrous humanoid hurts too, but basically, this is what you pull out for that odd caster class with low will saves but always walks around in MindBlank. There is a Mass version at level 9 in the Fury domain.
Abyssal Rift a 1000gp material component lets you cast Earthquake but with 6d6 damage as a 9th level Wizard spell. No one ever cares.
Beckoning Call This could have been a decent spell at Bard 2, that causes people to come to you, there is all this language about how they take the least dangerous path, but will go through danger. None of that matters, because it has a concentration duration, gives a new save every round, and you had to target a specific creature. So after two rounds of you both trading actions, it makes the save and you didn’t get to lure it off the cliff.
Befoul Cleric 8, Create a punch of poison water. No reason this couldn’t be level 5.
Demonic Wings Blackguards can fly. Also people with the Demon Domain. The funny part of this spell, is the verbal component is saying Pazuzu twice, and saying it three times lets him use all his detection stuff on you. So man, this spell must be a huge tease for him. Blackguard and Demon 3.
DemonCall +10 to a knowledge check… not really worth it. Blackguard and Demon 2.
Demonflesh Demon and Blackguard 1: Tiny bonus to Natural Armor.
Despoil This is ooze creatures level 9 spell that doesn’t do anything because the area can’t exceed touch range.
Embrace/Shun the Dark Chaos This is that stupid combo where someone can take Vow of Poverty, and then be captured by badguys and have all their Vow of Poverty feats replaced with Abyssal Heritor feats, and then have the Abyssal Heritor Feats replaced with actually good feats, so you can write “I’m a Wizard that starts the game with an additional 10 feats” if you start at level 10. You may also be able to do it with racially granted proficiencies, or Druids that Wildshape into Elementals until they have 500 feats and laugh manically. Because Druids, still better than you.
Exorcism This is a level 1 spell that can clear you of a possessing demon. Remember how fucking awesome possessing demons are, and how they can fuck your party super hard and the only thing that can stop them is Banishment and Dismissal? But this is level 1, so surely once you figure out a Demon is trolling the party, you can solve this problem with this level 1 Cleric spell right? Clerics, saving the party from debilitating effects since forever right? Right? RIGHT? Oh fuck you game. Personal Only. Can’t possess clerics . . . But everyone else is still fucked.
Extract Gift Level 5 spell, You can spend more money than it costs to buy an item to grant an enhancement bonus to an ability based on your Caster level, or a Competence bonus to a skill that can be dispelled. Or you can use Planar Binding, and an SLA version of this spell (such as Spell Stich) to give yourself a bonus that is higher than +6 at high levels (since it is out of combat optimization) that can’t be dispelled except with Disjunction. And get some competence bonuses to every skill while you are at it. More late game bullshit optimization that is useless when used as intended!
Fiendish Clarity Level 7 spell that gives you See in Magical Darkness and See Invis for 10 minutes per level. Meh.
Inner Beauty Bard 4: You cast it on a good or evil creature, and if good, they get a bonus ot Dex and Cha, and if evil a penalty. In either case everyone within 15ft who sees the creature has to make a save and either be nauseated for 1d4 rounds or stunned for one round (evil, good). What the fuck ever, just cast stinking cloud.
Morality Undone Turn people evil, Will negates. Cast on Vow of Poverty people to make them lose all their stuff and to punish them for using that stupid book.
Ooze Puppet Dominate Ooze. Yeah, that totally needed to be a new spell.
Pox Druid 6. 1d4 con damage, fort negates. . . So bad. Just cast Baleful Polymorph instead.
Slime Wave Level 7 Druid and Cleric. Probably replaced by the SpC version, but a 15ft radius that does at least 4d6 Con damage more to larger creatures on the first round, Ref negates. Could be as much as 24d6 Con damage. No idea what counts as “every 5ft of its face.” Also destroys metal and stone super hard. If each of the four faces is not scraped off in the first round, it repeats con damage and can only be removed by remove disease. So basically, make a reflex save or be immune to con damage, or die. That’s not terrible for a level 7 Spell, but it really annoying/unclear how it adds up con damage based on available faces, and I don’t know how many faces a medium or large creature have. I’m going to go look up Slimewave in the SpC to see how it was changed, because it needed it. Ugg. SpC Slimewave only attaches one patch of green slime to the creature. So if it knows to scrape the face off, this basically acts as a one round daze that does 1d6 Con damage. If it doesn’t, then it still dies from 16d6 con damage if it fails the save. Would have preferred if it put two patches on them or something, so this could at least kill a tightly clustered group of mooks.
Soul Link Level seven spell that you cast to basically be Status+Telepathy+No save Scry whenever you want later. Comes with all sorts of miscellaneous features like ability to give them a +2 enhancement bonus to a stat in return for you taking -2 penalty. Hours per level. You are basically never going to cast this, but if you did, it would be on an ally or a captured and therefore unconscious enemy, so you don’t care about how you can get +4 to the DC by letting them choose what attribute you take a penalty to, or that after they fail the will save on this Mind Affecting Necromancy they take a -4 penalty to saves against Mind Affecting spells you cast. Basically this is super niche, and only on the Wizard and Bard list, so no one will ever cast it. At least if it was a Cleric spell the one time it was useful someone could cast it.
Vision of Entropy Level 2 Will negates Phantasm. Lasts 1 round per level, and stacks fear and then unconsciouses people. Since you probably don’t have a CL higher than 4-5 when you would cast this spell, it basically is never even going to knock them unconscious, since they have to fail 4 saves to get there. Basically Cause Fear is better than this, and Glitterdust/Color Spray are way better. Arguably useful if you can cast it on someone and then have the entire party avoid combat with them for 15 rounds if you are high level and really need to use your second round spells for combat.
Summary
So Basically, a superpowered Ref save or die that got hard nerfed in the SpC, the ability to shuffle feats into completely different feats to abuse bonus feats, one level 8 Cleric spell that operates as a Will Negates non mind affecting Save or Die on spellcasters, so you can fuck over the random bad will progression casters, some late game permanent duration buffs that require hoop jumping to not be worthless, but once hoops are jumped, are just a straight numeric power up to everyone, and just a whole lot of garbage. Meh, pretty standard for the spells from a splat honestly.
The Black Cult
At this point the book randomly tells you about a cult devoted to collecting the writings of that one guy who theorized that the abyss was a single consciousness that controlled all demons. Basically, if you really want a really dumb organization for the PCs to be a part of that gives them an excuse to fight Demons, and you forgot the blood war exists, this is your ticket to using the monsters in the book in rapid succession. To be a member, you have to have a Base Will Save of +1, Decipher Script 1, Knowledge History 2, Knowledge the Planes 4, and have either been to the abyss for a day, or encountered a demon. So basically, level 1 Wizards can apply, everyone else wait till level 4 for no good reason.
The Benefits of joining basically amount to “when you fight Demons, you can sell their loot for 60-75% of value instead of 50%” Advancement in the Cult doesn’t really get you anything, but anyone capable of casting Lesser Planar Binding can be a Black Monitor in 2-3 days. Because apparently no one in the demon studying cult knows how to cast that spell, so they give promotion points that can be repeated for handing them a living demon to study.
They give some sample encounters: 1) PCs find artifact, some dickhole pays some gnomes to steal it from the PCs. 2) PCs are going to the Abyss, some nice helpful black cult fucks show up, and tag along, but one of them gets possessed by the ghost troll demon and fucks with the party forever.
The special snowflake artifacts that the cult is always looking for come next. Each artifact gives a minor bonus to Knowledge Planes checks and something else conditioned as being related to demons or the abyss, and some bonus powers. Using the powers has an increasing chance of summoning a demon that tries to kill you and take the scroll, this chance can only be reset if the scroll literally teleports of planeshifts away from you. So basically, get used to casting Locate fucking Object if you want to use these. But luckily, the reset doesn’t actually require you to do it during combat or anything, because it triggers on the presence of any demon, so you can just Planar Bind a demon and stand near it until the book TPs, and then go get it.
Abyssal Mundus Power 1: Planeshifts you to the Abyss, and automatically Greater Planeshifts you all back at the end of a time you specify in advance, except dead people. Power 2: Once per day, Greater Teleport 3: Once per week Gate spell for Demons only. 1d4+1 Nalfasheenes attack for the first two powers, and a Maralith and 1d4 Hezrous attack for the third. You are never going to use this because a Candle of Invocation and casting planeshift and Greater Teleport can do everything this can do, but without summoning EL 14-20 encounters to murder you.
Black Writings Standard action 60ft Cone gives True Seeing to everyone looking at something in Cone. Not terrible, and only causes 1d4+1 Succubi to appear, and since Succubi without minions are kind of shit, you could actually use this without feeling terrible sometimes. Although, Succubi appear up to a mile away and hour later, you can also just teleport, and they will never be able to find you since they don’t get any special knowledge about who has the artifact or used it.
Rubric of Tulket nor Ahm 1) +4 Bonus to saves against effects of demons, and +4 to the DC of all stuff he uses against demons. Lasts for 1 hour. Since each use increase chance of summoning demons by 1% and then rolls that percent, you probably aren’t going to use this except to farm the demons that arrive for XP. There are four versions of this, and each version grants a different second power. A) Gaseous Form 3 times a day, B) +10 Natural Armor for 10 rounds, C) +2 str and con from rages, D) See invis and some tempHP. The effects summon 1d4+1 of the demon pictured, which is either a Hezrou, Glabrezu, Blezau, or Goristro. Basically worthless for the abilities unless you want to farm demons. Also the Goristro one, you can just fly around summoning Goristros who can’t see you and can’t fly, in the middle of a city, if you wanted to troll.
Transcriptions of Ergon “Improved Forcecage” as an attack action. Basically Forcecage, but if anyone uses Teleport or Greater TP to try to escape, they have to make a level check against 1d20+21 or have it fail, and be unable to use it again for 10 minutes. Summons 1d4+1 Vrocks from overuse. Since you can put two Vrocks inside Force Cages on your first turn, you hardly even care. Obviously you don’t want to run around with 80% chance of Vrock Summon, but using the Planar Binding Reset method, this thing can instantly trivialize most encounters if you need it to. This is the first one I actually want to have.
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
Yay * the dark chaos + a stupid reading of the interaction with heroism, so spellcasters can have all the feats. Granted they've already got something better (the spellcasting) and might care if there's spellcasting feats they don't have yet. Otherwise it takes an awful lot of book-diving to find feats that are worth anything near what spells are (of course not these demon related spells)...but there's probably 3.0 haste written as a feat somewhere.
Uh... Yeah man, feats are so totally shit. I definitely don't want Vactic Gaze, the ability to take 10 on CL checks, or free fucking metamagic. Those are all garbage that don't increase caster power at alllll.Lokey wrote:Yay * the dark chaos + a stupid reading of the interaction with heroism, so spellcasters can have all the feats. Granted they've already got something better (the spellcasting) and might care if there's spellcasting feats they don't have yet. Otherwise it takes an awful lot of book-diving to find feats that are worth anything near what spells are (of course not these demon related spells)...but there's probably 3.0 haste written as a feat somewhere.
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
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You are not kidding. That's a situational average of +0.75 damage per AH feat or half your SA, whichever is less. By the time you have 3+ heritor feats and 6+ dice of sneak attack it's about equal to weapon specialization. Ugh.Kaelik wrote:Pre-req have SA, reroll dice equal to AH feats. Pretty shit.
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I find it hard to put into words the underlying issue with Abyssal Heritor feats. Part of it seems peculiar to D20 - the search for LA +0 - and part of it seems much more generic, and not even limited to D&D: trying to make race a relevant character choice.
For the former, d20 suffered a design space issue in that there was a strong player desire for certain inherently more powerful or different race options - Frank and I touched on this a bit in the Races of Eberron OSSR - but it was inherently difficult to break those down to a level for starting characters. So they tried lots of shit. Savage Species fucked up straight monster PCs because the numbers were off; Unearthed Arcana tried bloodlines and paragons to substitute class levels for some features, but did it poorly, and finally you have lots of feat-chains like the Abyssal Heritor nonsense. The math just never seemed to work out right, and the problem was there was just too little design space at LA +0 to work in ambitious concepts like "werewolves" or "golem" without crippling it with the balance stick...or maybe the designers just kept fucking up the numbers.
On a more generic level, this is the kind of thing that a lot of games struggle with, specifically because they've made "not human" a basic design choice (or, in games like Conan, "not Hyborian"). Build-your-own half-fiend is easy-peesy in games like GURPS, but in systems and settings like Shadowrun and D&D what you're often looking at is a balance of costs versus mechanical bonuses - some character options are going to be better for certain applications than others, just based on the numbers involved. It's a real problem in your game if all the physical adepts are Trolls and all the wizards are elves, and it's not always easy to find a non-trivial balance point for different character options.
For the former, d20 suffered a design space issue in that there was a strong player desire for certain inherently more powerful or different race options - Frank and I touched on this a bit in the Races of Eberron OSSR - but it was inherently difficult to break those down to a level for starting characters. So they tried lots of shit. Savage Species fucked up straight monster PCs because the numbers were off; Unearthed Arcana tried bloodlines and paragons to substitute class levels for some features, but did it poorly, and finally you have lots of feat-chains like the Abyssal Heritor nonsense. The math just never seemed to work out right, and the problem was there was just too little design space at LA +0 to work in ambitious concepts like "werewolves" or "golem" without crippling it with the balance stick...or maybe the designers just kept fucking up the numbers.
On a more generic level, this is the kind of thing that a lot of games struggle with, specifically because they've made "not human" a basic design choice (or, in games like Conan, "not Hyborian"). Build-your-own half-fiend is easy-peesy in games like GURPS, but in systems and settings like Shadowrun and D&D what you're often looking at is a balance of costs versus mechanical bonuses - some character options are going to be better for certain applications than others, just based on the numbers involved. It's a real problem in your game if all the physical adepts are Trolls and all the wizards are elves, and it's not always easy to find a non-trivial balance point for different character options.
Abyssal heritor feats have nothing to do with being a fiend at all.
Their design problems are basically three things:
1) All your feats buff every other feat. This is literally the Tome Fighter vs PHB fighter problem. You are either two powerful, or way too weak. If you stack every feat that adds to your power and stacks with all your actions, you either do more than everyone else all the time, or less than everyone else all the time, and both of those are shit.
2) When picking a balance point for the feats, they picked way weaker than PHB Fighter. Look at that shitty SA reroll one. Or the one that gives a bonus to JUMP CHECKS.
3) There aren't enough feats. At least Fighters get a lot of feats and more every splat, there are only 13 feats. You have to be a Wizard/Rogue/Bard with natural weapons who can't cast transmutation spells to qualify for all 13, so you basically run out of feats to even take with literally any character pretty fast.
Their design problems are basically three things:
1) All your feats buff every other feat. This is literally the Tome Fighter vs PHB fighter problem. You are either two powerful, or way too weak. If you stack every feat that adds to your power and stacks with all your actions, you either do more than everyone else all the time, or less than everyone else all the time, and both of those are shit.
2) When picking a balance point for the feats, they picked way weaker than PHB Fighter. Look at that shitty SA reroll one. Or the one that gives a bonus to JUMP CHECKS.
3) There aren't enough feats. At least Fighters get a lot of feats and more every splat, there are only 13 feats. You have to be a Wizard/Rogue/Bard with natural weapons who can't cast transmutation spells to qualify for all 13, so you basically run out of feats to even take with literally any character pretty fast.
Last edited by Kaelik on Sat Dec 05, 2015 10:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
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Introduction to Demon Living Rooms!
So right away this section doubles down on telling us that Abyss is sentient, and is trying to kill all the creatures in it (even the one’s it creates specifically). But let’s not forget the other bullshit, because the Abyss is infinite, made of an “infinite” number of “layers”, of infinite size. Approximately none of that is true. For example, the First Layer, the Plane of Infinite Portals, is cotemporaneous with the Material Plane. . . Not the Material is cotemporaneous with it, but the reverse, so apparently it isn’t infinite in the first place. Also apparently the Astral doesn’t extend to any other plane, so all those Demons with Greater Teleport at Will can’t actually teleport on any Abyssal Plane… Fucking What? Also, did you know that there are no fucking layers? Apparently all those numbers don’t account for which is higher or lower, they are all approximately in the same location, the numbers are just the order they were discovered by some specific group of special Abyssal Cartographers. Wow, that’s boring as shit. Also there might not be infinite layers, and some “numerologists” think there are “666” because HAHA ISN’T IT FUNNY WHEN WE PUT CHRISTIANITY IN YOUR D&D EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES NO SENSE?
No. No it isn’t. Also, you can stand on the Plane of Infinite Portal and probably count 667 without moving, so fuck right off.
Next we cover Abyssal History 101. Of course absolutely none of this makes sense on any level, but LOLCHAOS so I guess that’s supposed to be a feature? Way back in the Before Time, the new demon subtype made up for this book ruled everything as far as the eye could see. And by that, I really mean only that far, because they ruled specifically only the Plane of Infinite Portals, and they had cool fortresses there, but they would make forays into the other planes, but only short ones because they were afraid of the completely empty planes with no Demons in them . . . LOLCHAOS! And everything was so great, that they invented and created all the Tanar’ri, or whatever, because they were bored. Even though the Abyss itself was supposed to have created demons… whatever. So anyway, even though they fought over the infinite portal plane, because they hated each other, apparently there were like, wars with the “Forces of Law!” aligned people or something, that became important, for some reason, so the Queen of Chaos conquered everyone and united them in a war against good, and she made her favorite Tanar’ri a Prince, which somehow made him really strong and important, but still the bitch of all the Not subtype subtypes… Anyway, then they totally were winning until someone decided to use a magical artifact to capture her Prince, and then she ran away to some super “deep” Abyss plane, which is really odd, since before, she, like all not subtype subtypes, was terrified of all the planes for no reason. But then she just lived there. Meanwhile, a force of Eladrin’s showed up, and murdered the crap out of Demons on the Infinite Portals Plane. Hey um, aren’t Eladrin’s Chaotic, why did they just suddenly switch to team Law? Almost like this whole cosmic war of law versus Chaos makes no sense at all, and good versus evil would make more sense? Anyway, the Eladrins attack, which was really easy, because LOLCHAOS the Tanar’ri revolted against their masters for literally no reason all at the same time right then. Like, it wasn’t an instigated conspiracy, and it wasn’t because they were ordered to suicidal charge, it was apparently just spontaneous absolutely nonsense betrayal for no reason. So then all the demons fled into the other layers after losing, you know, the ones they were deathly afraid of for no reason. And it turns out that the Tanar’ri are just stronger, so they took over. Thus ended phase 1.
Phase 2: The war for law and chaos ended… except for demons and devils cause they like murder. Also Demons fight each other. You might think I just got bored of the history, but actually, the authors did, and this section tapers off into just the most pathetic ending.
So now we talk about the things that live in the Abyss. Apparently, Tanar’ri the things created by the Abyss, and also by the Not Subtype Subtype, are also the evolved souls of chaotic evil mortals. Because fuck it. But yeah, this just restates all the stuff you already know from the entries of all the Tanar’ri princes and shit. Meanwhile, Not Subtype Subtypes are a pale shuddering race that only have power because the Tanar’ri let them, even though they have the three most powerful Demon Princes, Pazuzu, SquidGod, and The Shade of Fuck You. Also they are waiting for the Queen of Chaos to come out of that random layer she ran to, that apparently no one ever goes to. Floating Incorporeal Demons Exist, and no one seems to care, not even them. They apparently have a locus in the Dreaming Gulf, where maybe more powerful ones exist.
Mortals show up for lots of reasons, like Cultists, Powerful Wizards who want to trap Demons but are too stupid to know about the Planar Binding Spells, Adventurer’s looking for Loot or Secrets, There’s some asshole Paladin with an army trying to cleanse the abyss, he’s currently on one plane, just killing demons, so yeah, that’s going to work out. Also there are assorted organizations, the Doomguard, who see order in chaos or some shit, so they build entropy ships on some plane, the dustmen who are basically just an Orcus Cult, the Sensates, who are evil bad hedonists, which is why they hang out in the place where everything is trying to kill them, and the Xaositects that make no goddam sense on any level. Also petitioners exist as larva demon food or Manes. Only the pathetic ones are Demon Larva, but if you happen to be a powerful mage or something, your larva can turn into stronger demons… Wait, if you were that badass wouldn’t you be a Mane, SHUT UP LOLCHAOS! Also both Manes and Larva can turn into more powerful demons, which can in turn become more powerful demons. Because remember, the Abyss created Demons before humans even existed, and also all demons are humans. Also some gods hang out here, including the Beholder God, the Derro God, a greedy Gnome god, and Kali, who is basically just a caricature of the “real world” Kali.
Getting to and Moving Around in Demon Living Rooms
So this section is going to cover a bunch of made up ways to get around the Abyssal planes, but before that, it has to address spells that let you do that. So it starts by saying that Astral Projection can only take you to the Plane of Infinite Portals, because that’s the only one with an Astral. Then it tells you Gate can get you anywhere, but for some reason, can’t take you from one layer to another, because apparently all the infinite planes of the abyss are actually one plane. But don’t worry, planeshift can take you from one plane to another (because I guess all the different layers are “alternate dimensions?” since they can’t be different planes, or Gate would work). But don’t worry, planeshift doesn’t actually work, because each individual plane has a completely different tuning fork… But wait, aren’t those all in every spellpouch? Doesn’t that mean that you do in fact, know how many planes are in the abyss, because you know how many tuning forks you have? FUCK THIS SHIT. Why can’t they ever just make sense? Well, onto the bullshit for Fighters to get around.
Abyssian Ocean
Apparently all the water of all the seas and oceans in the Abyss is connected by a supraocean that includes all of them. So basically your fighter can get from one plane to another in the Abyss by building a boat and sailing it, if only he had any of those abilities… Also all the transport is completely random, so… yeah I’m just going to go back up to the plane of infinite portals and find my way from there. Also the entire area is a special neutral zone that demonic princes don’t fight over, because these CR 21 Myrman Demons live there. I mean, yeah, if you are in water, they are probably tougher than Balors, but come on, Dagon could like suplex five of them at once. Then there is a random encounter table which ranges from possibly EL like 4 in the form of a bunch of Tieflings on a ship, all the way to EL 23 or something, with a Myrman King Demon and his retinue.
The Grand Abyss
Apparently on the Infinite Plane of Infinite Portals there is an infinitely deep cavern created by tunneling Obyriths that no one has ever reached the bottom of (wait, but didn’t they dig it, wouldn’t that mean they had to reach bottom?) filled with infinity more portals to infinitely more “deep” layers of the abyss. Also, unlike above, these portals are apparently two way so demons like ruling this area or something.
The Infinite Staircase
There is a big old staircase that connects all the planes. That’s all you need to know. You might use it to get to the Abyss, or from the Abyss, whatever.
The Pits of Pazunia
This is the name of all those portals on the Plane of Infinite Portals. Also most of them are two way, so much for that Grand Abyss being better because portals are two way. Also comes with a random chart that creates up to 30 possible types of planes you can get for jumping in a random portal. Which seems underwhelming for infinite portals to infinite layers of the infinite Abyss. I bet there are more than 30 named planes with descriptions across three editions. Also, this isn’t 30 named planes, 10 of them are “Abyssal version of Inner planes, negative planes, or paraelemental planes.” Another five are “Underground, Mountains, Water, Acid, Magma.” So being exceptionally generous and counting the plane of insects and other shit, there are like 15 actual suggestions here.
The River Styx
So this is basically the river version of the Abyssal Ocean. It’s a River that travels everywhere through all the shit planes (including Hell and Gehenna and shit) in a completely unpredictable way with no end or beginning. Unlike the Abyssal Ocean which everyone avoids because of CR 21 outsiders, this thing is the most powerful and badass fucking location in the universe and has an actual good reason for powerful outsiders to stay as far a fuck away as possible. See, if you touch the water at all (and aren’t an evil outsider with the aquatic subtype) you attempt a DC 17 Fort save. If you fail it, you lose all your memories, and act as if you are feebleminded. Presumably this can be cured like Feeblemind? Not clear. But if you make the save, you still lose all memories of the last 8 hours. So basically, fuck this River, never go near it ever. You can try to use it to get to a random place, or you can, if you are a 13th level or higher caster, you can cast Holy Word, Blashempy, or Summon Monster 8. Yes Eight. And if you do this, in like 1d6 rounds a ferryman outsider shows up (they are literally all the same species of Yugloth as Charon, and worship Charon as a god, and are telepathically linked in what amounts to a hivemind, so basically, you get carried by Charon, except if you kill him, Charon is just pissed at you and not dead), and if you pay him 100gp per person he will take you to the specific plane you want. Also, 15% chance he will just decide to betray you and either drop you off in the wrong place, or into an ambush. You can pay 400gp per person to reduce this to zero chance of betrayal (although how PCs are supposed to pick that up in a conversation, or with a knowledge check is not mentioned) but frankly, don’t bother. Even if for some reason, as a person capable of casting 7th or 8th level spells you weren’t just going to use planeshift, there is only a 2% chance that he drops you in an ambush, and a 13% chance he drops you in the wrong location, in which case you turn around and summon another one, and move on with your life, because you are standing right next to the river. Also this has a shitty encounter table, which you roll on half as often if you ride with the Ferryman instead of your own boat. Also, this includes the same CR 21 super mega death outsider that rules the Abyssal Ocean and has a 5% chance of murdering your face if you ride the Ocean. But here, the Encounter table says that there is a 90% chance it ignores you and a 10% chance it makes a single tail attack. So basically, if you are any level that doesn’t have the ability to cure Charisma Drain, take 1d6 Charisma Drain no save (off the RNG). I guess it’s better than dying.
Ships of Chaos
Apparently those guys building ships are building these. They are giant floating ships that Greater Planeshift around, except that everyone on board has to make will save or be affected by Insanity. So basically, you aren’t going to ride this unless you are undead, or have access to a level 11 Cleric, and hey, level 9 Clerics can cast Planeshift. So once again, just cast Planeshift. Also, it costs only 500gp but comes with a promise that Demon Princes will know you used the ship, so chances are good that they will send someone to fuck you up. None of that particularly matters, except to say that if anyone is actually crewing these fucking things (allegedly they have captains who are charging you the fee) those fucks are already insane even if they haven’t failed a save yet (again, unless they are undead) because iterative probability guarantees that they will be failing one.
Stable Gates
There are portals that exist and connect planes, some of them connect to one or more Abyssal planes (that are the same plane, because the Gate spell doesn’t let you travel between them.) These portals can be one or two way, they can be labeled or not, they can show the other side or not, or sort of, they can have enemies on either side or not. Basically, if you can think of a question, we will refuse to answer that question. Also read the Manual of the Planes.
Hazards of Demon Living Rooms:
Besides that fucked up River that is worse than any of these.
Abyssal planes could have any possible traits, but the standard is that they are exactly like the Material, except they are infinite in size, Mildly Chaos and Evil aligned, and Divinely Morphic. Some things that show up on them that might cause you problems, but aren’t demons are:
CackleStorm CR 2
Make a DC 10 listen check to detect your doom one round in advance from the slight giggles on the breeze. If you make the check, you can apparently detect the oncoming storm that you still might know nothing about (because why would they have a knowledge check to warn people?) and cover your ears, if you don’t, then you have to make a DC 16 will save or be permanently Tasha’s Hideous Laughtered that can only be broken by ingesting 10 vials of Holy Water and then having a 9th level Cleric cast atonement on you. This lasts for some time that they forgot to define, and maybe you have to make more saves, who knows. So basically, chances are good that one of your party makes the listen check, and then, you really hope that player metagames and read this book, or the DM is kind enough to tell you what is coming, or else your entire party gets megafucked. Dat Ain’t CR 2. (I mean, maybe it is if your DM tells you that you have to fucking cover your ears or get fucked.)
Memory Fog CR 4
Apparently the memories lost by souls when they become demons or demon larva just sit around as fog, it looks like regular fog, but if you go inside, a DC 10 Listen check causes you to hear whispers and then go crazy and hallucinate the memories of whatever was going on if you fail a Will save basically, being confused. You stay crazy for 1d4 days after you leave the fog. So on the one hand, you get to argue about willingly failing listen checks, and on the other, if you fail a save you are in the Abyss, and confused for some days, so you probably just run and hide, but whatever, at least you aren’t permanently fucked like you are from making a save in the River of Fucked, or failing a save for the storm you had no in character reason to block your ears for.
Miasma Cloud CR 5
Another shitty cloud, this time if you breathe it in, you make a save against disease that does 1 Wisdom damage per day until remove curse is cast on you in a temple consecrated to a lawful good deity (because apparently Boccob, Pelor, and Elhonna just don’t give a shit about their Clerics). So again, if you know to hold your breath without any knowledge rules, then this is the least threatening yet, but if you don’t it might be a tax on you, that encourages you to go home, because you have to cast Lesser Restoration every few days on everyone.
Vacuum Gate CR 7
In the Time Before Time, During the Great War, some demons pissed off some random ass shit Monster Sue, and then ran away, but part of it’s essence followed them, and now floats around the Abyss, unable to escape, but also unable to do anything to anything on the plane, except that it can fuck up portals. Any portal it fucks up becomes a Vacuum Gate, which if you come within 30ft forces a DC 18 Fort save or it sucks you 10ft closer, until you get sucked in when you are within 10ft, and then you are trapped in some random place with no air and you die if you need to breath. If you make the save, you get to move outward at one quarter speed. So basically, you make a Fort save, and if you make it, you are fine, and if you fail, you get another chance to make two in a row, and if you fail that you get a third chance to make 4 in a row, ect. Unless you have a faster than average movement speed, or the ability to teleport at all in any way, in which case you mostly don’t give a fuck.
Viper Tree CR 3
Basically this tree will attack you, do some minor damage, and poison you with a thing that really fucks you up for 2d6 dex damage and paralysis an hour from now. So basically, get hit then turn the fuck around and walk away. Also they don’t attack anyone with fire. Sure Whatever. Shadow Plane Trees are way worse.
Next time on OSSR: The actual Demon Living Rooms.
So right away this section doubles down on telling us that Abyss is sentient, and is trying to kill all the creatures in it (even the one’s it creates specifically). But let’s not forget the other bullshit, because the Abyss is infinite, made of an “infinite” number of “layers”, of infinite size. Approximately none of that is true. For example, the First Layer, the Plane of Infinite Portals, is cotemporaneous with the Material Plane. . . Not the Material is cotemporaneous with it, but the reverse, so apparently it isn’t infinite in the first place. Also apparently the Astral doesn’t extend to any other plane, so all those Demons with Greater Teleport at Will can’t actually teleport on any Abyssal Plane… Fucking What? Also, did you know that there are no fucking layers? Apparently all those numbers don’t account for which is higher or lower, they are all approximately in the same location, the numbers are just the order they were discovered by some specific group of special Abyssal Cartographers. Wow, that’s boring as shit. Also there might not be infinite layers, and some “numerologists” think there are “666” because HAHA ISN’T IT FUNNY WHEN WE PUT CHRISTIANITY IN YOUR D&D EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES NO SENSE?
No. No it isn’t. Also, you can stand on the Plane of Infinite Portal and probably count 667 without moving, so fuck right off.
Next we cover Abyssal History 101. Of course absolutely none of this makes sense on any level, but LOLCHAOS so I guess that’s supposed to be a feature? Way back in the Before Time, the new demon subtype made up for this book ruled everything as far as the eye could see. And by that, I really mean only that far, because they ruled specifically only the Plane of Infinite Portals, and they had cool fortresses there, but they would make forays into the other planes, but only short ones because they were afraid of the completely empty planes with no Demons in them . . . LOLCHAOS! And everything was so great, that they invented and created all the Tanar’ri, or whatever, because they were bored. Even though the Abyss itself was supposed to have created demons… whatever. So anyway, even though they fought over the infinite portal plane, because they hated each other, apparently there were like, wars with the “Forces of Law!” aligned people or something, that became important, for some reason, so the Queen of Chaos conquered everyone and united them in a war against good, and she made her favorite Tanar’ri a Prince, which somehow made him really strong and important, but still the bitch of all the Not subtype subtypes… Anyway, then they totally were winning until someone decided to use a magical artifact to capture her Prince, and then she ran away to some super “deep” Abyss plane, which is really odd, since before, she, like all not subtype subtypes, was terrified of all the planes for no reason. But then she just lived there. Meanwhile, a force of Eladrin’s showed up, and murdered the crap out of Demons on the Infinite Portals Plane. Hey um, aren’t Eladrin’s Chaotic, why did they just suddenly switch to team Law? Almost like this whole cosmic war of law versus Chaos makes no sense at all, and good versus evil would make more sense? Anyway, the Eladrins attack, which was really easy, because LOLCHAOS the Tanar’ri revolted against their masters for literally no reason all at the same time right then. Like, it wasn’t an instigated conspiracy, and it wasn’t because they were ordered to suicidal charge, it was apparently just spontaneous absolutely nonsense betrayal for no reason. So then all the demons fled into the other layers after losing, you know, the ones they were deathly afraid of for no reason. And it turns out that the Tanar’ri are just stronger, so they took over. Thus ended phase 1.
Phase 2: The war for law and chaos ended… except for demons and devils cause they like murder. Also Demons fight each other. You might think I just got bored of the history, but actually, the authors did, and this section tapers off into just the most pathetic ending.
So now we talk about the things that live in the Abyss. Apparently, Tanar’ri the things created by the Abyss, and also by the Not Subtype Subtype, are also the evolved souls of chaotic evil mortals. Because fuck it. But yeah, this just restates all the stuff you already know from the entries of all the Tanar’ri princes and shit. Meanwhile, Not Subtype Subtypes are a pale shuddering race that only have power because the Tanar’ri let them, even though they have the three most powerful Demon Princes, Pazuzu, SquidGod, and The Shade of Fuck You. Also they are waiting for the Queen of Chaos to come out of that random layer she ran to, that apparently no one ever goes to. Floating Incorporeal Demons Exist, and no one seems to care, not even them. They apparently have a locus in the Dreaming Gulf, where maybe more powerful ones exist.
Mortals show up for lots of reasons, like Cultists, Powerful Wizards who want to trap Demons but are too stupid to know about the Planar Binding Spells, Adventurer’s looking for Loot or Secrets, There’s some asshole Paladin with an army trying to cleanse the abyss, he’s currently on one plane, just killing demons, so yeah, that’s going to work out. Also there are assorted organizations, the Doomguard, who see order in chaos or some shit, so they build entropy ships on some plane, the dustmen who are basically just an Orcus Cult, the Sensates, who are evil bad hedonists, which is why they hang out in the place where everything is trying to kill them, and the Xaositects that make no goddam sense on any level. Also petitioners exist as larva demon food or Manes. Only the pathetic ones are Demon Larva, but if you happen to be a powerful mage or something, your larva can turn into stronger demons… Wait, if you were that badass wouldn’t you be a Mane, SHUT UP LOLCHAOS! Also both Manes and Larva can turn into more powerful demons, which can in turn become more powerful demons. Because remember, the Abyss created Demons before humans even existed, and also all demons are humans. Also some gods hang out here, including the Beholder God, the Derro God, a greedy Gnome god, and Kali, who is basically just a caricature of the “real world” Kali.
Getting to and Moving Around in Demon Living Rooms
So this section is going to cover a bunch of made up ways to get around the Abyssal planes, but before that, it has to address spells that let you do that. So it starts by saying that Astral Projection can only take you to the Plane of Infinite Portals, because that’s the only one with an Astral. Then it tells you Gate can get you anywhere, but for some reason, can’t take you from one layer to another, because apparently all the infinite planes of the abyss are actually one plane. But don’t worry, planeshift can take you from one plane to another (because I guess all the different layers are “alternate dimensions?” since they can’t be different planes, or Gate would work). But don’t worry, planeshift doesn’t actually work, because each individual plane has a completely different tuning fork… But wait, aren’t those all in every spellpouch? Doesn’t that mean that you do in fact, know how many planes are in the abyss, because you know how many tuning forks you have? FUCK THIS SHIT. Why can’t they ever just make sense? Well, onto the bullshit for Fighters to get around.
Abyssian Ocean
Apparently all the water of all the seas and oceans in the Abyss is connected by a supraocean that includes all of them. So basically your fighter can get from one plane to another in the Abyss by building a boat and sailing it, if only he had any of those abilities… Also all the transport is completely random, so… yeah I’m just going to go back up to the plane of infinite portals and find my way from there. Also the entire area is a special neutral zone that demonic princes don’t fight over, because these CR 21 Myrman Demons live there. I mean, yeah, if you are in water, they are probably tougher than Balors, but come on, Dagon could like suplex five of them at once. Then there is a random encounter table which ranges from possibly EL like 4 in the form of a bunch of Tieflings on a ship, all the way to EL 23 or something, with a Myrman King Demon and his retinue.
The Grand Abyss
Apparently on the Infinite Plane of Infinite Portals there is an infinitely deep cavern created by tunneling Obyriths that no one has ever reached the bottom of (wait, but didn’t they dig it, wouldn’t that mean they had to reach bottom?) filled with infinity more portals to infinitely more “deep” layers of the abyss. Also, unlike above, these portals are apparently two way so demons like ruling this area or something.
The Infinite Staircase
There is a big old staircase that connects all the planes. That’s all you need to know. You might use it to get to the Abyss, or from the Abyss, whatever.
The Pits of Pazunia
This is the name of all those portals on the Plane of Infinite Portals. Also most of them are two way, so much for that Grand Abyss being better because portals are two way. Also comes with a random chart that creates up to 30 possible types of planes you can get for jumping in a random portal. Which seems underwhelming for infinite portals to infinite layers of the infinite Abyss. I bet there are more than 30 named planes with descriptions across three editions. Also, this isn’t 30 named planes, 10 of them are “Abyssal version of Inner planes, negative planes, or paraelemental planes.” Another five are “Underground, Mountains, Water, Acid, Magma.” So being exceptionally generous and counting the plane of insects and other shit, there are like 15 actual suggestions here.
The River Styx
So this is basically the river version of the Abyssal Ocean. It’s a River that travels everywhere through all the shit planes (including Hell and Gehenna and shit) in a completely unpredictable way with no end or beginning. Unlike the Abyssal Ocean which everyone avoids because of CR 21 outsiders, this thing is the most powerful and badass fucking location in the universe and has an actual good reason for powerful outsiders to stay as far a fuck away as possible. See, if you touch the water at all (and aren’t an evil outsider with the aquatic subtype) you attempt a DC 17 Fort save. If you fail it, you lose all your memories, and act as if you are feebleminded. Presumably this can be cured like Feeblemind? Not clear. But if you make the save, you still lose all memories of the last 8 hours. So basically, fuck this River, never go near it ever. You can try to use it to get to a random place, or you can, if you are a 13th level or higher caster, you can cast Holy Word, Blashempy, or Summon Monster 8. Yes Eight. And if you do this, in like 1d6 rounds a ferryman outsider shows up (they are literally all the same species of Yugloth as Charon, and worship Charon as a god, and are telepathically linked in what amounts to a hivemind, so basically, you get carried by Charon, except if you kill him, Charon is just pissed at you and not dead), and if you pay him 100gp per person he will take you to the specific plane you want. Also, 15% chance he will just decide to betray you and either drop you off in the wrong place, or into an ambush. You can pay 400gp per person to reduce this to zero chance of betrayal (although how PCs are supposed to pick that up in a conversation, or with a knowledge check is not mentioned) but frankly, don’t bother. Even if for some reason, as a person capable of casting 7th or 8th level spells you weren’t just going to use planeshift, there is only a 2% chance that he drops you in an ambush, and a 13% chance he drops you in the wrong location, in which case you turn around and summon another one, and move on with your life, because you are standing right next to the river. Also this has a shitty encounter table, which you roll on half as often if you ride with the Ferryman instead of your own boat. Also, this includes the same CR 21 super mega death outsider that rules the Abyssal Ocean and has a 5% chance of murdering your face if you ride the Ocean. But here, the Encounter table says that there is a 90% chance it ignores you and a 10% chance it makes a single tail attack. So basically, if you are any level that doesn’t have the ability to cure Charisma Drain, take 1d6 Charisma Drain no save (off the RNG). I guess it’s better than dying.
Ships of Chaos
Apparently those guys building ships are building these. They are giant floating ships that Greater Planeshift around, except that everyone on board has to make will save or be affected by Insanity. So basically, you aren’t going to ride this unless you are undead, or have access to a level 11 Cleric, and hey, level 9 Clerics can cast Planeshift. So once again, just cast Planeshift. Also, it costs only 500gp but comes with a promise that Demon Princes will know you used the ship, so chances are good that they will send someone to fuck you up. None of that particularly matters, except to say that if anyone is actually crewing these fucking things (allegedly they have captains who are charging you the fee) those fucks are already insane even if they haven’t failed a save yet (again, unless they are undead) because iterative probability guarantees that they will be failing one.
Stable Gates
There are portals that exist and connect planes, some of them connect to one or more Abyssal planes (that are the same plane, because the Gate spell doesn’t let you travel between them.) These portals can be one or two way, they can be labeled or not, they can show the other side or not, or sort of, they can have enemies on either side or not. Basically, if you can think of a question, we will refuse to answer that question. Also read the Manual of the Planes.
Hazards of Demon Living Rooms:
Besides that fucked up River that is worse than any of these.
Abyssal planes could have any possible traits, but the standard is that they are exactly like the Material, except they are infinite in size, Mildly Chaos and Evil aligned, and Divinely Morphic. Some things that show up on them that might cause you problems, but aren’t demons are:
CackleStorm CR 2
Make a DC 10 listen check to detect your doom one round in advance from the slight giggles on the breeze. If you make the check, you can apparently detect the oncoming storm that you still might know nothing about (because why would they have a knowledge check to warn people?) and cover your ears, if you don’t, then you have to make a DC 16 will save or be permanently Tasha’s Hideous Laughtered that can only be broken by ingesting 10 vials of Holy Water and then having a 9th level Cleric cast atonement on you. This lasts for some time that they forgot to define, and maybe you have to make more saves, who knows. So basically, chances are good that one of your party makes the listen check, and then, you really hope that player metagames and read this book, or the DM is kind enough to tell you what is coming, or else your entire party gets megafucked. Dat Ain’t CR 2. (I mean, maybe it is if your DM tells you that you have to fucking cover your ears or get fucked.)
Memory Fog CR 4
Apparently the memories lost by souls when they become demons or demon larva just sit around as fog, it looks like regular fog, but if you go inside, a DC 10 Listen check causes you to hear whispers and then go crazy and hallucinate the memories of whatever was going on if you fail a Will save basically, being confused. You stay crazy for 1d4 days after you leave the fog. So on the one hand, you get to argue about willingly failing listen checks, and on the other, if you fail a save you are in the Abyss, and confused for some days, so you probably just run and hide, but whatever, at least you aren’t permanently fucked like you are from making a save in the River of Fucked, or failing a save for the storm you had no in character reason to block your ears for.
Miasma Cloud CR 5
Another shitty cloud, this time if you breathe it in, you make a save against disease that does 1 Wisdom damage per day until remove curse is cast on you in a temple consecrated to a lawful good deity (because apparently Boccob, Pelor, and Elhonna just don’t give a shit about their Clerics). So again, if you know to hold your breath without any knowledge rules, then this is the least threatening yet, but if you don’t it might be a tax on you, that encourages you to go home, because you have to cast Lesser Restoration every few days on everyone.
Vacuum Gate CR 7
In the Time Before Time, During the Great War, some demons pissed off some random ass shit Monster Sue, and then ran away, but part of it’s essence followed them, and now floats around the Abyss, unable to escape, but also unable to do anything to anything on the plane, except that it can fuck up portals. Any portal it fucks up becomes a Vacuum Gate, which if you come within 30ft forces a DC 18 Fort save or it sucks you 10ft closer, until you get sucked in when you are within 10ft, and then you are trapped in some random place with no air and you die if you need to breath. If you make the save, you get to move outward at one quarter speed. So basically, you make a Fort save, and if you make it, you are fine, and if you fail, you get another chance to make two in a row, and if you fail that you get a third chance to make 4 in a row, ect. Unless you have a faster than average movement speed, or the ability to teleport at all in any way, in which case you mostly don’t give a fuck.
Viper Tree CR 3
Basically this tree will attack you, do some minor damage, and poison you with a thing that really fucks you up for 2d6 dex damage and paralysis an hour from now. So basically, get hit then turn the fuck around and walk away. Also they don’t attack anyone with fire. Sure Whatever. Shadow Plane Trees are way worse.
Next time on OSSR: The actual Demon Living Rooms.
Last edited by Kaelik on Sun Jun 05, 2016 10:55 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.