Tell me about Australia

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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

Australia admits that its foresight did not extend to lapine horrors.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

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The true horror of an irradiated post apocalyptic Australia
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FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

Could be worse. The last good horror movie from Down Under starred a bloodthirsty, cannibalistic were-sheep.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_She ... 06_film%29
Last edited by Ancient History on Sun Oct 18, 2015 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Stahlseele
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Post by Stahlseele »

and i think i remember one about a wild boar problem.
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TFwiki wrote:Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

I seem to recall Mutants Down Under having a serious shortage of giant mutant rabbits. Just another failing of Palladium.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by Koumei »

One thing to note is that the animal that kills the most people in our country, not including humans*, is the horse. Mainly because horses are stupid and panic a lot and are powerful, and people interact with them a lot so there are more chances to be killed by them. If people regularly handled sharks we'd probably see more shark-related deaths.

On the topic of sharks, zero shark attacks occur on land. Interesting fact, that. I'm pretty safe in that respect.

Now, our spiders haven't killed anyone by venom since antivenin was developed for them. These days they've adapted. They're much more cunning. They will learn your patterns and strike when the time is right: by dropping into view from behind the sun-visor onto the steering wheel, causing you to panic and crash.

They make it look like an accident.

Snakes still do actually kill people every now and then because they have very potent venom and you can sort of encounter a snake and be within biting range before you've noticed it. At which point it panics and gives you a warning shot in the leg, and then you panic and flail around, spreading the venom through the lymphatic system. But they still don't frequently kill people, and besides, they look beautiful so can you really blame them?

Half the crap in the ocean has venom where one of the first steps of treatment is "apply morphine to take the edge off the pain" and there's an unwritten step 5-6 of "if it hasn't killed them yet and you also haven't managed to reduce the pain to tolerable levels with morphine, apply the Emperor's Mercy to the brain stem." Again, I'm safe, I barely use our heated pool, let alone the ocean.

*Also not including bacteria and viruses. Which also excludes mosquitoes, seeing as they spread disease rather than dive-bombing your throat and tearing you apart. If we included "death by disease", I'm pretty sure mosquitoes would take the prize, because there are parts of our country where the air is made of them and they carry like nine deadly diseases and the main people affected are black so the government doesn't care about providing any kind of support to combat this.
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Post by PhoneLobster »

Let's see...

Rabbits just out compete our harmless animals, a lot of the rest of our extinction rate (pretty much the worst in the world), aside from habitat destruction which is stupidly huge, is feral cats, which is interesting because Australia is like the only recorded instance of feral house cats getting larger and larger and our bigger ones now approach the size of panthers.

Black Sheep is actually a movie from, about, set in and filmed in New Zealand.

Night of the Lupis, the giant rabbit movie is an incredibly terrible "Americanised" scifi B-movie version of "The Year of the Angry Rabbit", and they were created by means of a super virus, not nuclear radiation, and the book was mostly about Australia conquering the world with that super virus.

As for spiders while you may have heard of the deadly "Funnel Web" that lives in the ground and is er, deadly, the one you have heard of is the LESS deadly one, the more deadly one is the "Tree Funnel Web" as it is larger, injects more venom, the venom is probably stronger, and they aggressively drop on your from above if you mess around with their trees. According to wikkipedia they may in fact be "the deadliest spiders in the world".

What sort of trees do they live in? The local ones about five meters away from me right now. Are they confirmed to be in those specific trees. Yes. Do I sometimes find it necessary to mess with those trees. Also yes.
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Post by ckafrica »

Maj wrote::lmao: I've eaten durian. I don't plan on repeating the experience. :wink:
IMO durian doesn't taste that bad nor is the smell that unpleasant it is just overpowering in enclosed areas. Mostly its the fact that both the smell and taste lingers that have caused me to ban it from my house. It makes everything in the fridge taste like durian. Also durian kisses not so great but she put up with my smoking for years
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Post by Stahlseele »

@Phone Lobster
i'd mess with such trees once.
with fire.
and then have the remains taken away by somebody bloody else <.<
Welcome, to IronHell.
Shrapnel wrote:
TFwiki wrote:Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

I want like 12 of the tree spiders.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

Image
Also, there is this show. This was a police procedural based around the Sydney Water Police in the last half of the 90s. It isn't that it's low budget or corny - well, it is, by contemporary standards - it's that it's seriously a police procedural equivalent of Knight Boat, and at times up to half the male cast is wearing shorts that you wouldn't let a twelve-year-old out of the house in. It really needs to be remade in the States as a perfect union between Babewatch and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
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Post by AcidBlades »

How do people even live in Australia?
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Post by Koumei »

In abject misery
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Post by Ancient History »

Well, initially the prisoners couldn't escape. Now they're in full "to reign in Hell" mode. Non-white people largely...don't.
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Post by PhoneLobster »

Stahlseele wrote:@Phone Lobster
i'd mess with such trees once.
with fire.
and then have the remains taken away by somebody bloody else <.<
Those trees are packed with very highly flammable oils, indeed dangerously so.

When I was a kid we were once put in charge of burning a bunch of material from them. Mostly branches, twigs and leaves.

We (in our youthful genius) built a little well ventilated loose brick fire pit about the size and shape of a small garbage can and fed the stuff in branch by branch.

The thing went off like a jet engine, you could hear it sucking air in through the holes in the sides.

I swear it jetted a good 2-3 meters out the top, it was so hot you couldn't get near the fucking thing to put the next branch in till it started burning out and died down.
Last edited by PhoneLobster on Tue Oct 20, 2015 1:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

Also, our country is highly flammable as a whole. You set one tree alight, in a concrete bunker, and next thing you know the entire nation is engulfed in flames.
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Post by PhoneLobster »

Koumei wrote:Also, our country is highly flammable as a whole. You set one tree alight, in a concrete bunker, and next thing you know the entire nation is engulfed in flames.
That's not the tree in the concrete bunker. That's just Summer.

Ash smoke and a rain of hot coals to ignite further fires is just what we get for Christmas instead of snow.

edit: Though to be fair sometimes around the same time we now ALSO get mountains of huge golf ball plus sized bits of ice raining from the sky AS WELL, but rarely on the same day.

edit again: Don't worry, global warming is only going to increase the bushfire stuff by like 300% or more by 2050. Also pretty much same thing goes for the rains of destructive hail. With any luck one will start putting out the other.
Last edited by PhoneLobster on Tue Oct 20, 2015 2:29 am, edited 5 times in total.
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