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Tell me about Australia
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 6:08 am
by OgreBattle
I found some old thread where it was mentioned that Sydney has a 15m wall with a giant gear-gate protecting it, is that for real?
There was also a mention of how Aboriginals get killed in hit and run accidents (intentionally, does the driver back up on them?) and white Australians go unpunished.
All in all there seems to be many Denners from Australia who all have horrible stories of life there.
Re: Tell me about Australia
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 6:31 am
by LeadPal
OgreBattle wrote:I found some old thread where it was mentioned that Sydney has a 15m wall with a giant gear-gate protecting it, is that for real?
Sure, here's a photo.
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 7:03 am
by Longes
Is that one of those Australian spiders I keep hearing about?
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 9:10 am
by Ancient History
I think it's important to remember that Australia hates you. It has hated you since before you were born. And it wants nothing more than for you to die. All of you. It has bred nightmares for no other reason than this.
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 11:23 am
by RobbyPants
Ancient History wrote:I think it's important to remember that Australia hates you. It has hated you since before you were born. And it wants nothing more than for you to die. All of you. It has bred nightmares for no other reason than this.
I just heard a story this morning about a guy in California who got hit on the head by a seed pod from a tree that caused serious brain damage. The thing was 16 pounds, and they can grow as big as 40 pounds. Then, I find out the trees in the park aren't indigenous to the region; they're from Australia.
My first thought was "Of
course Australia has murder trees."
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 11:50 am
by angelfromanotherpin
Billy Connolly did a great stand-up set about the perils of Australia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVPNf2zAVpI
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 5:35 pm
by Josh_Kablack
It's the stromatolites found in Shark Bay that disturb me. Those semi-living rocks spent hundreds of millions of years pumping deadly poison into the atmosphere in an attempt to end all life on earth that came disturbingly close to success. If not for our ancient ancestors figgering out how to breathe the poison in question, they would have gotten away with it too.
Re: Tell me about Australia
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 8:20 pm
by nockermensch
OgreBattle din't wrote:Why does it wear the mask?
Well, consider me disappointed.
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 8:54 pm
by Maj
RobbyPants wrote:Ancient History wrote:I think it's important to remember that Australia hates you. It has hated you since before you were born. And it wants nothing more than for you to die. All of you. It has bred nightmares for no other reason than this.
I just heard a story this morning about a guy in California who got hit on the head by a seed pod from a tree that caused serious brain damage. The thing was 16 pounds, and they can grow as big as 40 pounds. Then, I find out the trees in the park aren't indigenous to the region; they're from Australia.
My first thought was "Of
course Australia has murder trees."
Ooh. What kind of tree was it?
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 9:02 pm
by Ancient History
Australia has many kinds of murder tree. Some of them explode.
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2015 10:09 pm
by Shady314
Modern Family had an episode where the family went to Australia and Australia kept fucking up Phil.
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 4:16 am
by ckafrica
Maj wrote:RobbyPants wrote:Ancient History wrote:I think it's important to remember that Australia hates you. It has hated you since before you were born. And it wants nothing more than for you to die. All of you. It has bred nightmares for no other reason than this.
I just heard a story this morning about a guy in California who got hit on the head by a seed pod from a tree that caused serious brain damage. The thing was 16 pounds, and they can grow as big as 40 pounds. Then, I find out the trees in the park aren't indigenous to the region; they're from Australia.
My first thought was "Of
course Australia has murder trees."
Ooh. What kind of tree was it?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Araucaria_bidwillii
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 7:51 am
by Koumei
Yeah, trees that drop heavy things on you (admittedly, plenty of countries have trees that do that), trees that explode, trees that sting you to death. But it's not like people just have those in their back yard.
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 8:01 am
by Korwin
Koumei wrote:But it's not like people just have those in their back yard.
Oh why, why not?
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 8:10 am
by PhoneLobster
Koumei wrote:Yeah, trees that drop heavy things on you... But it's not like people just have those in their back yard.
...er...
I keep a sign pinned to it to tell people not to stand there.
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 10:40 am
by Koumei
Okay, yes, the heavy things part. But not the explosive trees (well, apart from ones that explode in fires, but if your house is in a bushfire, you have bigger problems) or the trees that sting you to death.
I just don't see the point on focusing on the trees that drop heavy things, and talking about how weird and Australian that is, when coconut trees are a thing.
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 11:59 am
by PhoneLobster
Koumei wrote:I just don't see the point on focusing on the trees that drop heavy things
Coconuts probably kill more people through sheer ubiquity alone, but you've clearly never handled a bunya pine cone before, they are like spikey bowling balls only bigger. Our tree, just a baby really, once dropped 33 in one season. When they hit a nearby retaining wall it makes a sound like a gunshot.
Though I'd say the most deadly plant in our garden is
probably the local tree that gives you heart attacks...
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 12:52 pm
by vagrant
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GUYS
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 1:52 pm
by erik
But at least the water's safe, right?
Right?
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 2:43 pm
by Longes
The things I know about Australia I've learned from White Wolf.
Rage Across Australia wrote: Australia's distance from England, and the vast spaces early settlers had to traverse in order to visit one another, encouraged self-sufficiency among the Australians. The Australian tradition of mateship was thereby founded. A mate is one's best friend, someone for whom you would die and who would definitely die for you. Mateship originated in the harsh conditions of the outback, when a man had to depend on his mate for all things. Mateship has been described as sexist and homoerotic, an expression of non-physical love between men who have been taught to believe that any form of tenderness, even toward a best friend, is unmanly and un-Australian. The bond of mateship endures today, even between total strangers, whos use of the word with one another indicates that they are men united against the world, and often against women. "Mate" is a code word, admitting its user to a secret society, a fraternal order. Just as mateship suggests all men are equal, it also suggests women are unequal. Derision and exclusion sometimes extend to anyone who is perceived as different, whether sexually, physically or racially.
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 4:42 pm
by Maj
Thanks! I was reading about how durian trees are more deadly than sharks the other day, but I know durian isn't an Australian native.
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:05 pm
by RadiantPhoenix
Stinging tree:
Dendrocnide moroides
Wikipedia wrote:Stories tell of horses jumping off cliffs after being stung, and supposedly one Australian officer shot himself to escape the pain of a sting.
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2015 5:31 am
by RobbyPants
Maj wrote:
Thanks! I was reading about how durian trees are more deadly than sharks the other day, but I know durian isn't an Australian native.
Yeah, ckafrica linked the one I mentioned. Durian trees are crazy, too. Bonus points: the fruit it drops smells horrendous (and is often banned on mass transit in countries where they're found). You're right that they're not from Australia.
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2015 6:51 am
by Maj
I've eaten durian. I don't plan on repeating the experience.
Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2015 9:21 pm
by AcidBlades
Ancient History wrote:I think it's important to remember that Australia hates you. It has hated you since before you were born. And it wants nothing more than for you to die. All of you. It has bred nightmares for no other reason than this.
Yet most of it's wildlife was getting devastated due to an infestation of rabbits.
