Random Thoughts and Musings...

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Random Thoughts and Musings...

Post by Maj »

I had a thought today, and it's on a topic that probably no one who frequently posts here really cares about, but y'all have been known to be good to me and also post about shit I don't care about so suck it. :biggrin:

---

I fucking hate the distressed aesthetic. I hate it. I hate the idea of spending money on new shit only to have it look like it's hella old, but not really. I hate the concept of working your ass off to make a thing, only to distress it so that it looks like a fifth grader made it.

But today, as I sat scrolling through the posts in the craft group I've joined on FB, looking at all the distressed shit that's just so basic, I had a realization... Making distressed crap is our time's answer to the demand for overwork and perfection. It's America's wabi-sabi. Spending the time and effort to properly coat a china hutch in chalk paint, and then taking sand paper to it so that it looks like it was always white to begin with is a way of camouflaging flaws in plain sight. And hiding future imperfections. And inadequacies.

Don't know what you're doing? Don't worry! By making it look old and distressed, it covers blemishes and conceals the fact that your skills are less than a master's. Have kids who leave sticky fingerprints on stuff or smack into the furniture with their toys? That divot won't show if you just rough up the surface there and touch it up with a marker.

But it's spread too far. We're at the point where they print distressed wood patterns on linoleum so that you can have that reclaimed wood look. They could print anything on that stuff. They could print galaxies or gemstones or glitter or gold or anything... But they're printing distressed wood (they've actually been printing it for a while - it's the style that doesn't seem to ever die). And it comes in Long Island Sound Bleached Shingle Grey, and PacNW Cedar Fence Brown. Hopeless colors. The colors of no escape. Hill to die on neutrals.

Don't get me started on those faux handwritten fonts that don't stay all on one line: kindergarten chic meets mommy blog. Retch.

It is inspiring to me, though. In rebellion, I want to spray paint my front door YiNMn blue. Something bright and different from the rest of the neighborhood. Or sand my bathroom vanity and paint it white... With latex paint in a semi-gloss finish. Just to be daring! Or stain my mantel dark purple. Because I like dark colors, damn it. Not everything should be greige and/or white.

I can't wait for this decor fad to be over. It's very distressing.
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Post by Foxwarrior »

Shoulda titled this thread "a distressing trend" or something like that.
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Post by Username17 »

Here in Britain-land they call it 'Shabby Chic' and it basically looks like something you bought in a flea market.

The concept is that if you stain your furniture by spilling coffee or dent it by dropping a fork or something, it doesn't look any worse. And that's dumb as shit.

In a general sort of way, actual antique furniture, including its scratches and dents, looks baller as fuck. We have a big oak dining table that was probably chilling in a pub for some number of years, and it looks great. There are little dents in it and stuff and that detracts from the effect in no way at all. I understand wanting to skip to the part where things are old and have gravitas without going through the intermediate steps where things look scratched and dirty and a bit embarrassing. But you can't. If you take a belt sander to the handles of your newly painted drawers it just looks like you took a belt sander to your furniture - it doesn't look like you have a stately old chest of drawers with history and fond memories.

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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

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Post by Thaluikhain »

Yeah, the failure of basic logic reminds me of homeopathy. At best.

At not best, people seem to be spending money so they can cosplay as people who don't have any. Which, yeah.
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Post by Ancient History »

"Distressed" is actually a technique to disguise poor manufacturing.
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Post by phlapjackage »

Just like "blackened" was a cooking technique to disguise burned food
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Post by The Adventurer's Almanac »

Finally, I have a term to describe the way I paint miniatures.
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Post by Stahlseele »

The term "poorly" already existed though.
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Post by The Adventurer's Almanac »

Get out of my apartment, Stahlseele. You'd have to try to fuck up painting a barrel or your typical dungeon stone.
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Post by Maj »

Foxwarrior wrote:Shoulda titled this thread "a distressing trend" or something like that.
I didn't intended for it to be a me-only thread about distressed shit. I just started it off with that because I needed to get it out, it wasn't about death or the news, and I'm assuming that people here think about random shit, too. I mean... Someone else has to be pondering the fact that IPAs are to dudes what the PSL is to chicks. I can't be the only one who thinks that.

---

Nailed it on the jeans, Count. Incidentally, I'm having a difficult time getting my son to understand that if his jeans have holes in the knees, they're still OK to wear. He can't stand when they're worn through. I still donate them.

Shabby Chic used to be a thing here; but it was a fringe, Boho sort of thing. Now it's all "rustic." And even rich urban people style their homes this way. And I know a few of those sorts of people who wouldn't be caught dead buying old furniture, but will spend thousands on furniture that looks old but isn't.

I have another bone to pick with that... People are discarding their solid wood furniture in favor of stupid replacements. Please, dear god, don't replace your wood bookshelf with one made of MDF with a plastic print of distressed wood stuck to it. Those shelves are not going to last. It's not something to be proud of.
Last edited by Maj on Mon Feb 17, 2020 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Stahlseele »

The Adventurer's Almanac wrote:Get out of my apartment, Stahlseele. You'd have to try to fuck up painting a barrel or your typical dungeon stone.
i would not.
i have two shaky left hands and no artistic inclination whatsoever.
Aside from a bit of metalwork and otherwise just destroying stuff, these hands are good for nothing much else.
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Shrapnel wrote:
TFwiki wrote:Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.
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Post by Josh_Kablack »

Maj wrote:. Someone else has to be pondering the fact that IPAs are to dudes what the PSL is to chicks....
Uh, they're easy for niche brewers to make, okay (not great) and while you expect at least one in any sampler pack, you're getting sick of how they have become at least 5 out of any 12 such variety pack......

That in no way reminds me of the Pittsburgh Sports League, which is basically paid intermurals for local yuppies :p
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

fucking IPA's... I used to love craft beers until they all got together and decided EVERY FUCKING BEER NEEDS TO BE AN IPA NOW.
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Post by Blade »

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:fucking IPA's... I used to love craft beers until they all got together and decided EVERY FUCKING BEER NEEDS TO BE AN IPA NOW.
I completely agree.

And on the "distressed" topic, I hate that "default" interior design trend. The kind of stuff that started in AirBnb/Starbucks/home staging shows to get people to feel comfortable no matter what their cultural background was. And then it became stuff that people actually wanted.
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Post by Iduno »

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:fucking IPA's... I used to love craft beers until they all got together and decided EVERY FUCKING BEER NEEDS TO BE AN IPA NOW.
The 90's? Unfortunately, I'm living somewhere that's at least 30 years in the past, so the IPA fad is just hitting. I love that they think the way to be different is to add hops to everything like everyone else does.
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Post by Maj »

Blade wrote:
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:fucking IPA's... I used to love craft beers until they all got together and decided EVERY FUCKING BEER NEEDS TO BE AN IPA NOW.
I completely agree.
My brother-in-law trades IPAs with people from across the country, and he's all right in the middle of it. My sister and I laugh a lot about it. I hate the bitterness. What I'd really like to get into, though, are recreated ancient beer recipes. That's my kind of shit to get snobby about.
Blade wrote:And on the "distressed" topic, I hate that "default" interior design trend. The kind of stuff that started in AirBnb/Starbucks/home staging shows to get people to feel comfortable no matter what their cultural background was. And then it became stuff that people actually wanted.
The staging thing really irks me!!! My brother and his wife do everything for their house based on how it will effect the resale value of it. It constantly looks like it's staged to sell, even though they have no intentions of moving any time soon (they even still call the bonus room from the house's real estate ad, the bonus room, even though it's a rec room/entertainment room/game room/family room/rumpus room/playroom). The problem is that they are living in the next person's house, and never in their own.
Last edited by Maj on Wed Feb 19, 2020 3:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

I hate how every house in America is some version of grey or beige. I don't know if I'd paint my theoretical house with bright primary colors or deep and cool colors but either way, anything's better than boring grey or beige.
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Post by phlapjackage »

Maj wrote:My brother-in-law trades IPAs with people from across the country, and he's all right in the middle of it. My sister and I laugh a lot about it. I hate the bitterness. What I'd really like to get into, though, are recreated ancient beer recipes.
Put me down as another hater of IPAs - I don't like the strong hop flavor. And I wonder about ancient beer recipes, I'm mildly interested in brewing my own beer/cider, but I'm too lazy with too little space for all the rigamarole. Maybe ancient recipes are a lot simpler with fewer steps and equipment, hmmmm...
Maj wrote:The problem is that they are living in the next person's house, and never in their own.
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Post by violence in the media »

Dogfish Head has a line of Ancient Ales that they produce intermittently. The one you can always get is Midas Touch. I've tried Chateau Jihau, Theobroma, Sah'tea, Birra Etrusca Bronze, and Kvasir. I've never been able to find a bottle of Ta Henket though.

This series of brews was done from 2006 to 2011, I think, and they don't seem to be brewing any more. So good luck finding some other than the Midas Touch and, occasionally, the Birra Etrusca Bronze.
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Post by deaddmwalking »

For the exterior of the house looking 'like everybody else' is fine. You virtually never see it, and there's not much reason to have your neighbors hate you.

Personally, I'm a fan of gray. Our house is mostly brick, but the trim is gray.

Inside we have a lot of blues, purples and greens on the walls. But we balance it with white trim/near-white carpets.

I hate IPAs. I have brewed my own beer and it doesn't take a lot of space. If you have a sink cabinet in your bathroom that you don't use you can get everything to fit. The bigger issue is that there is a smell associated with brewing beer. If it bothers you, you should convince your gullible friend to have all the equipment at HIS house but you can go halfsies on the equipment.
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Post by erik »

All beer is terrible. It tastes like bitter rot. I don’t disbelieve people who unironically say they like the taste of beer but for me all alcohol is nasty bitter and beer is some of the worst. I’ll happily drink for drinking games since the drink is supposed to be punishment, and that checks out.

I concur on boring neutral indoor home colors being lame. We have some bright rooms in my house. For one birthday we told little erik1 that he could pick his room design and he chose “construction and dinosaurs!” So it is traffic cone orange with decals of construction machines and dinos (later added solar system to ceiling). I think it looks good. I like making my living room a buttercream yellow and did so in my last two homes. My bedroom was going to be a dark blue since I worked nights for almost a decade but we never got around to painting it and thankfully I workin days now.
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Post by Iduno »

Maj wrote:What I'd really like to get into, though, are recreated ancient beer recipes. That's my kind of shit to get snobby about.
Also, I've seen some interesting non-beer fermented beverages that are interesting. Sprecher was doing some last time I was there (~ a decade ago), but I can't remember much for details except it tasted like banana and was from maybe Egypt? Although you can be more experimental when you aren't expecting a profit from your brewery; they make sodas to pay for everything.

But mainly, get me a bunch of different things to try.

erik wrote:All beer is terrible. It tastes like bitter rot. I don’t disbelieve people who unironically say they like the taste of beer but for me all alcohol is nasty bitter and beer is some of the worst.
Beer can be the worst, but it can also be some of the best. Amber and darker beers are more likely to be maltier (sweet, but not like sugar), Belgian Beers are a fruity sweet, and Leinenkugel's is...cloying.

Although if you have a dislike of the flavor of alcohol (I've had friends with the same complaint), Mixing with an acidic drink like apple juice/cider (with a whiskey or rum, probably) or Sunny Delight (with vanilla schnapps, served cold so it tastes like the orange sherbet push-up pops) will probably be more palatable to you.
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Post by erik »

People have tried to get me to drink about everything incorrectly predicting “oh you won’t taste it in this”. The only thing that contained alcohol and was nominally on the spectrum of palatable was peach schnapps. And my taste buds may have already resigned in protest by that point since it was about the 10th-11th shot in a very short drinking game that also included rum and vodka. Nobody survived after 30 minutes when the alcohol finally hit.

I also can’t tolerate artificial sweeteners. They have a terrible aftertaste for me. My taste buds are like fuck off. I used to think aspartame was bad. Then along came Sucralose/Splenda. Fuck.

My bullshit super power is the ability to detect alcohol at the cost of being unable to enjoy social beverages. Coffee and tea are right out too. Sigh.
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Post by Stahlseele »

Yeah, i have a way too good taste bud system as well.
I can taste the alcohol even in those cocktails that are 90% cream and fruit juice.
Welcome, to IronHell.
Shrapnel wrote:
TFwiki wrote:Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.
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