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Count Arioch the 28th
King


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

My domme might like that.
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Maxus
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Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 7629

PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

This made me think of your and your weird interests, AH.

Theories on Elf Dicks

A medical professional speculates on the junk of Tolkien's elves.
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He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Occluded Sun
Knight-Baron


Joined: 02 May 2014
Posts: 990

PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

That's ridiculous. Elves are noted to have the same basic physiology as humans, which is why they can interbreed. The differences are supposed to be 'spiritual' - what that means is a very long story and not really relevant here.

There are some important ways in which they differ, physically and mentally, from humans - most notably in that they're supposed to have more conscious control over their bodies and their drives, and to a limited degree could reshape themselves. So while I don't think they could alter their underlying bone structure, they're pretty much all gorgeous, and dieting wouldn't be an issue if for some reason they wanted to gain or lose weight. There's also some variation as to features; for example, they're noted to have less body hair than most humans.

Their genitalia would, like the rest of them, appear basically human, but ideally attractive and well-proportioned (whatever that would actually mean to an elf).
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Stahlseele
Prince


Joined: 14 Apr 2010
Posts: 4878
Location: Hamburg, Germany

PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

also, at will, ribbed for her/his pleasure . .
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Ancient History
Invincible Overlord


Joined: 18 Aug 2010
Posts: 11204

PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

https://www.the-pool.com/news-views/opinion/2016/47/vulvas-officially-scarier-than-satan
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Count Arioch the 28th
King


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 5632

PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I keep telling people that and they tell me I'm insane...
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Ancient History
Invincible Overlord


Joined: 18 Aug 2010
Posts: 11204

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

http://www.boredpanda.com/icelandic-humor-comics-hugleikur-dagsson/
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Ancient History
Invincible Overlord


Joined: 18 Aug 2010
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 5:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

http://shanghaiist.com/2016/12/02/one-finger-challenge.php
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Count Arioch the 28th
King


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

At least one of those girls looks like she's 12.
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Chamomile
Prince


Joined: 03 May 2011
Posts: 3811

PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

They're Asian. They have unlocked the secrets of eternal youth.
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angelfromanotherpin
King


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Chamomile wrote:
They're Asian. They have unlocked the secrets of eternal youth.

No, they just do most of their aging in one big chunk towards the end.
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Ancient History
Invincible Overlord


Joined: 18 Aug 2010
Posts: 11204

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

http://distractify.com/humor/2016/12/16/dildo-defense-force?utm_content=inf_11_53_2&tse_id=INF_8bb6f8e0c3b511e686924f044efee13a

tl;dr: Robber attempts to knock over sex store, gets chased off by dildo-wielding women.
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Last edited by Ancient History on Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Maj
Prince


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 4235
Location: Shelton, Washington, USA

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I love that story.
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Count Arioch the 28th
King


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

One of my partners has a dildo that weighs nearly 10 pounds, it's not a stretch (giggity) to say that it can be used as a weapon.
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maglag
Duke


Joined: 02 Apr 2015
Posts: 1083

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Now those are some badass women. "You have a gun? Well we have dildos, GTFO!"

Chamomile wrote:
They're Asian. They have unlocked the secrets of eternal youth.


Do regular exercise and don't stuff yourself with fast food and sugar?

No, seriously, most toilets in China are still holes in the floor, no "throne" to sit. A woman wants to pee/poo, she needs to keep a strong flexible body at all ages.
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FrankTrollman wrote:

Actually, our blood banking system is set up exactly the way you'd want it to be if you were a secret vampire conspiracy.
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Maj
Prince


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 4235
Location: Shelton, Washington, USA

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I do believe Chamomile was referring to the stereotype that it's difficult to tell how old an Asian woman is. I'm pretty sure the answer isn't a lack of toilets.
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Maxus
Overlord


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 7629

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Maj wrote:
I do believe Chamomile was referring to the stereotype that it's difficult to tell how old an Asian woman is. I'm pretty sure the answer isn't a lack of toilets.


The meme/stereoptype in action:
Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)

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He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!


Last edited by Maxus on Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Maj
Prince


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 4235
Location: Shelton, Washington, USA

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 10:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Exactly. Wink
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Ancient History
Invincible Overlord


Joined: 18 Aug 2010
Posts: 11204

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

https://steemit.com/pizzagate/@gizmosia/art-podesta-admires-and-buys-you-may-never-sleep-well-again

The "Humanatee" guy.
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RobbyPants
Prince


Joined: 06 Aug 2008
Posts: 4386

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Yeah, I remember seeing one of those images years ago on Snopes after someone lied and said that scientists had engineered a half-human/half-pig.
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nockermensch
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Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 1587
Location: Rio: the Janeiro

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Ancient History wrote:
https://steemit.com/pizzagate/@gizmosia/art-podesta-admires-and-buys-you-may-never-sleep-well-again

The "Humanatee" guy.

I love how we're at the Entartete Kunst stage again. "Those guys like creepy art! Surely they must be evil!"
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After all, in Firefox you keep tabs in your browser, but in SovietPutin's Russia, browser keeps tabs on you.
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Occluded Sun
Knight-Baron


Joined: 02 May 2014
Posts: 990

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Now if Podesta had a copy of the famous 'Alien' stele...
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Red_Rob
Prince


Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 2553

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Ancient History wrote:
https://steemit.com/pizzagate/@gizmosia/art-podesta-admires-and-buys-you-may-never-sleep-well-again

The "Humanatee" guy.


I thought all the art was really interesting, like concept art for an out-there fantasy film. A lot of the creatures looked almost like alternate evolutionary paths that things on earth could have taken, things that we would find as common as a pig or sheep if we saw them wandering around every day. All in all a really cool collection.

Then I read the comments, and I assume that was what the title of the page was referring to? Knowing that there could be people like those commenters living not too far away from me right now... brrr, gives me the shivers!
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Prak
Serious Badass


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 16081

PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

They seem sort of Fae, or like something akin to cenobites with less malevolence and alien sexual desire and more otherworldly wonder
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Winnah wrote:
No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.


FrankTrollman wrote:
In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Ancient History
Invincible Overlord


Joined: 18 Aug 2010
Posts: 11204

PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

http://www.cbc.ca/life/wellness/scrotox-yup-men-are-botoxing-their-junk-1.3894895
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