NSFW News That Makes You Laugh/Cry/Hurl/etc.

[DSMatticus]

Well, let's run through the list of things you need to be a male pornstar:
1) Have a big dick.
2) Be able to maintain an erection for "you need to see a doctor" lengths of time (or be willing to pump yourself full of drugs to achieve that effect).
3) Don't orgasm when you're not supposed to, where not supposed is "at any point during hours of sex."
4) Orgasm within minutes of being told you're supposed to.
5) I have no idea what the average amount of ejaculate is, but I'm guessing pornstar loads are as anomalous as pornstar dicks. So there's also that.
6) Be so hypermasculine it's kind of gross or if you're lucky just be somewhat blandly attractive.

I imagine the recruiting process is absolutely brutal. Lots of applicants who are outright useless, lots of applicants with inconsistent or flaky performance, lots of applicants who burn out almost as soon as you find them, etc, etc. That costs time and money, so the value of a vetted performer probably has a decent floor. Bare minimum, I'd think that female performers are much more replaceable than their male counterparts, so I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that porn studios protect their male asshole performers.

[OgreBattle]

Georgia man packs a riding lawnmower full of tannerite (legal explosive that explodes when hit by a bullet), shoots it, and the flying blade rips his leg off:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPiq0yHsKAc

I imagine the recruiting process is absolutely brutal.

One of Japan's top male pornstars talked about how when he started off they had him eat poop. He got sick and the doctor wrote his condition as "shit eating disease" with a bill that exceeded his earnings from the shoot. He also had to bang 70+ year old twins. He also gets sexy ladies in their 20's too, but that's after the poop eating and old ladies.

It's actually really weird to me that there are only a handful of straight male models who are in everything made by every company and have enormous leverage.

Maybe they suck the dicks of gay producers? That's how Hollywood is rumored to work.

[Chamomile]

If the male pornstars are so irreplaceable, you'd think it'd show up in their salaries as well.

[DSMatticus]

I'm not sure porn star salaries are as low as they seem. If you look at it in terms of yearly earnings, sure, the numbers are unimpressive. When you look at it in terms of hourly earnings, the numbers are fucking amazing. James Deen's wikipedia page suggests he's done ~2000 scenes over ~11 years. James Deen gets every other day off and when he does work it's a four-hour work day. And even if he were among the lowest paid male porn actors (he isn't), he would still be making ~30k/year.

[maglag]

It's actually really weird to me that there are only a handful of straight male models who are in everything made by every company and have enormous leverage. When you look up a porn clip on the internet, most of the time the male model's name isn't even mentioned. The number of men that want to have sex with porn stars is so large that Czech Republic's free brothel pays its male actors zero CZK and still does a steady business at that price point.

I understand THAT James Deen has a lot of coercive power in the industry, but I cannot understand WHY. He seems like he is the most replaceable element of the entire process. Like more so than the rental properties that most scenes are filmed in.

I believe it's simply a matter of self-fulfilling reputation, just like famous non-porn actors can demand huge salaries despite the fact that millions of other people could say their lines and make their moves.

The more movies an actor appears in, the more well known he becomes, and any new movie they star on will attract a new audience. Ditto for marketing.

Plus

By definition threre are fifteen million American men with two sigma large penises and I do not get what is stopping the industry from changing which men they use as often as I change my socks.

Would you change socks every day if there was a greater than 1% chance that the new socks had a dangerous disease or were gonna try to bite your feet?

Being a porn star isn't just shoving penis into another human's hole, is also making sure to don't have any nasty diseases and that you're not gonna hurt the other porn star(s).

4) Orgasm within minutes of being told you're supposed to.

I had a biology teacher that told me the cum shots are recorded in separated (apparently you can take porn classes in a biology course as part of studying human phisiology), so that's not a problem.

5) I have no idea what the average amount of ejaculate is, but I'm guessing pornstar loads are as anomalous as pornstar dicks. So there's also that.

Following on the above, it seems like the "huge" cum shots are often falsified as well, since human balls just don't produce that much sperm.

[Username17]

I don't buy the HIV testing explanation for why we have just a few prize bulls and lots of replaceable female talent. You have to screen all your female models as well. If there's a real explanation and not some bizarre happenstance it either has to be based on the physical demands of the job or something that grows out of the demands of the market. Now I personally have never watched a porn clip because it did or did not contain a male adult performer, while I cannot even begin to say the same about female performers. The female performers get top billing and central depiction on the front cover and yet the male performers get more power and higher wages. That's very weird to me, and I would love to gind out why it's like that.

Anyway, I think the kink.com issues mostly highlight the economic incentives of freelance work and how they are shit. The company can have as many sex positive consent mandatory aphorisms as they want, there's still going to be people pushing models to go out of their comfort zone. At the end of the day, kink.com is subcontracting out the porn making, which means that there is a person whose paycheck is determined by how much freaky shit the model does in how short a time. Whatever ideals and longterm public image concerns the parent company might have, the person actually behind the camera simply does better financially if the model does whatever freaky shit and then they can move on to the next project.

Consider a car salesman who is paid on commission. Whatever the company's policy on aggressive sales tactics, it's just demonstrably true that her month to month paycheck is bigger if he can upsell and close deals. The company can have whatever ideals they want to have, but that sales commission still means there's a RAW incentive for the guy on the floor to be pushy.

And that's basically where we are when we are making porn by the scene. Everyone from the director to the makeup lady is that car salesman - demonstrably getting a bigger monthly salary if a model will do whatever kinky shit the director thinks will sell and GTFO. Whatever the company's policies or positions are, the people actually on the set have a real financial incentive to push the model to just take the crododildo and get on with it.

And that's before we get into the fact that there is genuine money to be had in specifically pushing a model's boundaries. Getting a model's "first anal scene" or "first crocodildo" or whatever is a selling point for a scene that is worth real moneys. I don't know who gets a cut of the extra money to be gained from pushing a model's boundaries so that they did something they previously refused to do, but even if there's no direct kickback it's simply obviously good for a director's carreer to have their name on hits. And being able to put "first crododildo scene" or whatever is probably the easiest way to ensure hits there is.

I'd like porn to be less coercive. And I applaud the relatively above board groups for taking efforts to make it so. And it's way less fucked up than the shit Max Hardcore and the Girls Gone Wild group got up to. But I don't see how you can make fetish porn on commission basis and have that not involve people on set pushing models to do things outside their comfort zone.

-Username17

[Shiritai]

I'd like porn to be less coercive. And I applaud the relatively above board groups for taking efforts to make it so. And it's way less fucked up than the shit Max Hardcore and the Girls Gone Wild group got up to. But I don't see how you can make fetish porn on commission basis and have that not involve people on set pushing models to do things outside their comfort zone.

-Username17

Yeah, there's definitely that push for what the producer thinks will sell, but even outside of the commission motive, producers have their own interests, markets be damned. I've heard some stories from models about bondage shoots getting waaaay creepy, even outside of what's filmed. Oh, and one "photographer" would would straight up flee instead of paying. But that's the risk with small, independent productions. No oversight, and not even much word-of-mouth.

And regarding male talent, I don't know either. I've only done work in the erotic wrestling genre, and that's so niche there's literally zero professional male actors; only amateurs and actor-producers.

[Ancient History]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/ar ... arity.html

[Ancient History]

http://www.vice.com/read/the-woman-who- ... porn-vgtrn

[Shrapnel]

That story is just full of what. I mean, she clearly looks more like Tammy Faye Bakker.

[Stahlseele]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZCVG7zUaRA
Dildo Drone

[Ancient History]

http://dangerousminds.net/comments/sexy ... ar_for_men

[Ancient History]

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/nation-now/v ... /170034609

[maglag]

Somewhat old news, but there's a guy who got himself killed by horse cock while being recorded.

Once more, Darwin is proven right.

[Leress]

Somewhat old news, but there's a guy who got himself killed by horse cock while being recorded.

Once more, Darwin is proven right.

We are all familiar with the "Mr. Hands" video.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

To be fair, that was before Bad Dragon was a thing. If only they had synthetic horse cocks available back then, he might still be alive.

[Ancient History]

Or, not. http://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2014 ... ting-nsfw/

[Count Arioch the 28th]

That's why when I do weird forms of masturbation I keep a spotter on hand. Also, I have no sense of shame whatsoever, I'd rather be embarrassed then slowly die from sepsis.

[Ancient History]

http://www.imdb.com/list/ls003684056/

[erik]

That's why when I do weird forms of masturbation I keep a spotter on hand. Also, I have no sense of shame whatsoever, I'd rather be embarrassed then slowly die from sepsis.

Now I have something I can tell the people at McDonald's giving me looks.

#Clownlove

[Ancient History]

I know you care, but one of my friends that keeps an eye on the ovipositor sex toy website reports that not only are they now manufacturing a larger version, but they are experiencing a shortage of eggs:

We are experiencing a supply shortage on egg molds. We have our own in the process of manufacture, but in the meantime, we will be temporarily substituting with spherical molds. We apologize for the inconvenience. We will announce when we get the new molds in, and plan to offer them for individual sale.

[Prak]

Are not spherical eggs more accurate to the kinds of creatures that have ovipositors?

[Ancient History]

Ovoposition fetishists can be quite...specific...on the shape of the eggs.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

That's one of the few things I don't quite understand, but whatever makes them happy.

[Grek]

That's one of the few things I don't quite understand, but whatever makes them happy.

Once you realize that those eggs are likely going up someone's butt, the buyers being fussy about size, shape and quality makes quite a bit of sense.