How to Deal With: Fighter Fappers.

infected slut princess · Wed Feb 11, 2015 2:31 am

Anyone who is not retarded understands the inherent limitations of the Fighter Class. Anyone does not understand this is a Fighter Fapper.

Fighter Fappers want their character to be the "hero" who gets the best artifact sword, strikes the killing blow on the final boss, and shags all the princesses.

Essentially, Fighter Fappers want to be BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. Because they want to have no superpowers and overcome challenges that other characters need superpowers to overcome, this makes them better. Instead of special powers, they want to rely on their "ingenuity" and "expert RPG gamer" skills to do things they cannot inherently do with their character. If you are a Fighter Fapper, it is an insult to suggest you need anything other than badassery to defeat the God of Demons.

How does the DM deal with this?

a) Give the Fighter Fapper what he wants
b) Kick the Fighter Fapper out of the game
c) Punch the Fighter Fapper until he makes a new character
d) Deliberately kill the Fighter Fapper's character in the campaign

The correct answer is C D.

Now to some people, this might seem harsh. But it is actually a very fair solution. Why? Well, most Fighter Fappers are "old-school gamers," who expect a DM to provide unfair, arbitrary situations in which their characters must suffer. And they are totally cool with the idea of characters dying in horrible ways. So if the DM sets up a situation in which the only outcome is Fighter Death, then justice will be achieved.

However, it is important that these Death Situations be set up in such a way that the Fighter Fapper THINKS some kind of ingenuity or RPG gamer skill can save him. But regardless of the Fighter Fapper's perceptions, the outcome of Fighter Death must be inescapable.

If the Fighter Fapper makes another Fighter so he can continue fapping, repeat the process as needed.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 2:54 am

e) use your words, like an adult.

RadiantPhoenix · Post by **RadiantPhoenix** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 3:08 am

f) Harass the party with invisible imp snipers. Then, at level 10, Give Sauron a Death Star. Don't give the players X-Wings.

Mistborn · Post by **Mistborn** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 3:10 am

Yeah. This is too much of a troll thread, even for me. Have fun guys ^_^

CapnTthePirateG · Post by **CapnTthePirateG** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 3:34 am

HOLY SHIT

ANOTHER THREAD ABOUT HOW FIGHTERS SUCK AND PEOPLE WHO LIKE THEM SUCK

MIND == BLOWN

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 3:49 am

How to deal with ISP:
a)ignore
b)ignore
c)ignore
d)all of the above

The answer is D.

ISP: the story of a troll who just doesn't have it anymore. Whined about lack of conflict of the den. Tried to outsource trolling, but that fell apart. Tries another fighter thread, which is also falling apart. Even Lord Mistborn, the weaselly henchman of the Den's trolls, isn't on your side anymore. Pathetic.

tussock · Post by **tussock** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 4:51 am

ISP wrote:Essentially, Wizard Wankers want to be BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. Because they want to have superpowers and overcome challenges that other characters don't need superpowers to overcome, this makes them better. Instead of relying on their ingenuity and player skill, they want to rely on their "special powers" to do things they can inherently do with any character. If you are a Wizard Wanker, it is an insult to suggest you can use anything other than magical badassery to defeat the God of Demons.

That's a bit harsh, dude. No DM worth their salt will actually let you defeat the God of Demons. It's in the 5e DMG, if the players are succeeding at something cool and making you slightly sad, you're just supposed to randomly change everything so they don't. Most people on enworld seem to agree, so it must be in there somewhere.

TiaC · Post by **TiaC** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 7:22 am

CapnTthePirateG wrote:HOLY SHIT

ANOTHER THREAD ABOUT HOW FIGHTERS SUCK AND PEOPLE WHO LIKE THEM SUCK

MIND == BLOWN

This one is actually weird in that Mistborn isn't touching it.

Sakuya Izayoi · Post by **Sakuya Izayoi** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 7:24 am

Make the welfare artifact a big toy hammer that causes hearts to fly out instead of blood, and change people's alignment to Good instead of killing them when it scores the final blow. Sort of like how games like Ninja Gaiden Black discourage you from playing on Easy while still providing the option.

radthemad4 · Post by **radthemad4** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 7:41 am

REAL ROLEPLAYERS PLAY COMMONERS!

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Feb 11, 2015 9:00 am

TiaC · Post by **TiaC** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 9:28 am

radthemad4 wrote:REAL ROLEPLAYERS PLAY COMMONERS!

I'd almost forgotten about this!

The thread that tells you how to turn a random commoner village into a deathtrap that punches well above its weight level.

nockermensch · Post by **nockermensch** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 8:40 pm

Sakuya Izayoi wrote:Make the welfare artifact a big toy hammer that causes hearts to fly out instead of blood, and change people's alignment to Good instead of killing them when it scores the final blow. Sort of like how games like Ninja Gaiden Black discourage you from playing on Easy while still providing the option.

>implying that I wouldn't play the shit out of this fighter.

Post by **fbmf** » Wed Feb 11, 2015 9:30 pm

[The Great Fence Builder Speaks]
Troll thread locked.
[/TGFBS]