Random Magic Items thread

[Prak]

Just got a random idea for magic item, figured I'd do a quick write up and put it up to be ridiculed. Couldn't find one of the old Tome magic items threads, so I just started a thread for such.

The Banhammer
The Banhammer is a large +2 maul with eldritch runes scrawled onto it's every surface, which glows faintly. When in the presence of trolls this glow intensifies into a near-blinding light. This effect is an automatic daylight effect, it only triggers when within 60' of a troll or anything with troll blood, and is not limited by times per day. Furthermore, anything struck with the hammer must make a DC 25 Fort save or be erased from existence, relegated to the far realms and that shadowy netherworld which is the realm of Vestiges. If the target hails from a different plane of existence, it is banished back to it's home plane even if it succeeds at this check.
CL: 16

[SunTzuWarmaster]

Well, you can't have a Banhammer, without a

Nerfbat
The nerfbat is a club made of soft wood, which may be considered a light weapon. In addition to functioning as a +1 weapon, whenever an opponent is stuck with a nerfbat, one of their Supernatural or Spell-like abilities will now work at one half of it's original power for the remainder of the day. If the character uses this ability frequently (more than 3x/day), then they also must make a Will save or be Dazed for a round.

CL 6

[Prak]

Cursed Schoolgirl Outfit of Aberration Summoning
This magic item is composed of a white blouse with a sailor style collar (usually blue, though variations exist) and matching pleated skirt. It provides an armour bonus equal to 1/3rd character level in addition to possessing the standard stats for magic clothing. It possesses the cursed quality meaning cannot be gotten rid of. A character who wears it will find that it continues to count against her 8 item limit for some time after being set aside, and it can be willed onto her body as a free action regardless of distance, displacing currently worn clothing to the outfit's former location. Even if it is destroyed, the outfit will reknit itself once every day and continues to count against the wielder’s item limit until a successful remove curse is used to sever the connection. In addition to being cursed magical clothing, the outfit can summon aberrations at will as a summon monster spell castable by a wizard of the character's level, the summon tables are set out below. However, each day there is a cumulative 10% chance per use of the summoning ability that the outfit will summon an aberration from the highest usable table of it's own volition which will immediately attack the wearer. The aberration summoned this way can be chosen by the dm, randomly generated, or the bolded selection on the tables can be used.

Summon Aberration 1:

• Half-Farspawn Neogi Spawn (MM2, 1/2 farspawn template LoM)

Summon Aberration 2:

• Ixitxachitl (MM2)
• Mindshredder Larva (MM3)

Summon Aberration 3:

• Choker
• Half Farspawn Octopus (LoM)

Summon Aberration 4:

• Fihyr (MM2)
• Grell (MM2)
• Grick
• Vampiric Ixitxachitl (MM2)
• Rust Monster

Summon Aberration 5:

• Carrion Crawler
• Cloaker
• Gibbering Mouther
• Kigrid (Illithidae) (LoM)
• Mindshredder Warrior (MM3)
• Morkoth (MM2)
• Neogi Adult (MM2)
• Otyugh
• Psurlon, Average (LoM)
• Wyste (MM2)

Summon Aberration 6:

• Aboleth
• Chuul
• Embrac (Illithidae) (LoM)
• Gauth (Beholder) (MM1)
• Mage Ripper Swarm (MM4)
• Neogi, Great Old Master (MM2)
• Rot Reaver (MM3)
• Stone Singer (MM#)

Summon Aberration 7:

• Director Beholder (LoM)
• Dark Tentacles (MM2)
• Hound of the Gloom (LoM)
• Mind Flayer
• Mindshredder Zenthal (MM3)
• Otyugh, Lifeleech (MM3)
• Psurlon, Elder (LoM)
• Roper, Prismatic (MM3)
• Shadow Flayer (Mind flayer of Thoon) (MM5)

Summon Aberration 8:

• Avolakia (MM2)
• Balhannoth (MM4)
• Darkweaver (FF)

Summon Aberration 9:

• Beholder
• Necrothane (Rot Reaver) (MM3)
• Ocularon (FF)
• Psurlon, Giant (LoM)
• Ulitharid (Mind flayer) (LoM)
• Urophion (LoM)

[Prak]

I blame this one on reading through FATAL

Target Painter (Arrows)
These long, thin arrows are designed with exceptionally fragile heads, containing small glass vials filled with a viscous, oddly coloured fluid- Dragon Pheromones. Upon striking a target, the impact causes the shaft to snap, and the head to crumple, shattering the vial. The target does not take much damage (1 die type lower than standard arrow of size), but the arrow's purpose has been served. The snapping of the arrow shaft triggers a magic effect which boosts the effects of the pheromones, wafting them throughout the surrounding landscape so that all dragons in the area may smell them. (effectively the arrow casts Summon Monster or Nature's Ally IX, with the half dragon template applied to the resulting creature or creatures.) The dragons arrive in 1d4 rounds, with singular purpose, sexing the ever loving shit out of the source of the pheromones. (Target Painter Arrows are well sealed and do not smell until fired.)
The target is effective grappled and constricted for Xd10 rounds (X equals number of dragons summoned).
CL 18

[alphacentaurus]

This is all interesting ideas...maybe they could find their way in my generator in a future version!

Try it and give me your feedback.

http://pathfinder.zonegamma.com

[fectin]

I blame this one on reading through FATAL

Target Painter (Arrows)
These long, thin arrows are designed with exceptionally fragile heads, containing small glass vials filled with a viscous, oddly coloured fluid- Dragon Pheromones. Upon striking a target, the impact causes the shaft to snap, and the head to crumple, shattering the vial. The target does not take much damage (1 die type lower than standard arrow of size), but the arrow's purpose has been served. The snapping of the arrow shaft triggers a magic effect which boosts the effects of the pheromones, wafting them throughout the surrounding landscape so that all dragons in the area may smell them. (effectively the arrow casts Summon Monster or Nature's Ally IX, with the half dragon template applied to the resulting creature or creatures.) The dragons arrive in 1d4 rounds, with singular purpose, sexing the ever loving shit out of the source of the pheromones. (Target Painter Arrows are well sealed and do not smell until fired.)
The target is effective grappled and constricted for Xd10 rounds (X equals number of dragons summoned).
CL 18

Could you treat it like a poison (chance of accidental exposure)?

[RadiantPhoenix]

I think that would fall into "fumbles"

Perhaps it could be something that happens to people without BAB.

[Prak]

Actually, the way I'm envisioning them, it'd happen to the person making them, or if a character carrying them fell. So, like, cumulative 2% chance per arrow that one or more broke in a fall.

[fbmf]

This is all interesting ideas...maybe they could find their way in my generator in a future version!

Try it and give me your feedback.

http://pathfinder.zonegamma.com

[The Great Fence Builder Speaks]
I'm all for you pimping your treasure generator, but you already have a thread where you are doing that, and you have gotten feedback. No need to solicit feedback in multiple threads.
[/TGFBS]

[alphacentaurus]

This is all interesting ideas...maybe they could find their way in my generator in a future version!

Try it and give me your feedback.

http://pathfinder.zonegamma.com

[The Great Fence Builder Speaks]
I'm all for you pimping your treasure generator, but you already have a thread where you are doing that, and you have gotten feedback. No need to solicit feedback in multiple threads.
[/TGFBS]

This was not my intention ...sorry :$

[Prak]

Spell Bombard
This large, worked metal device superficially resembles an ornate astrologers telescope. It is mounted to a high backed chair, though there is no eye piece. Instead, attached to the chair end of the device is a pair of jeweled handles, each with a series of depressable buttons, and construction that looks like nothing so much as a music stand.
The whole device is worked to resemble Tiamat, the core of the barrel being a large red dragon head, which is surrounded by the other four chromatic heads. Atop this simulacrum, perch statues of abishai, Tiamat's minor, gargoyle like subjects. Though the whole work is silver and cast iron, gems of appropriate colour twinkle in the eyes of each head, and one versed in the knowledge of arcana will be able to recognize the dragon heads and abishai types with little difficulty.
Though the Spell Bombard resembles an elaborate telescope for use in drawing horoscopes and charting the movements of planets, when the city is attacked (for few solitary casters bother to create these), it's true purpose can be seen. A powerful mage, or grunt soldier with an Eminence Talisman, leaps into the padded seat, seemingly nestled in the tail of the Dragon Goddess, grasping the handles, and the whole construction thrums alive with energy just on the edge of visibility, a crackling purple-green field like lightning. The music stand-like piece transforms to show an illusory representation of the territory surrounding the turret, complete with range calculations, and the user begins tracking enemy troops, unleashing a storm of destruction from the mouths of dragon and abishai idols.
The Spell Bombard is something of an elaborate, and powerful, staff. Though it doesn't use charges, it does contain several spells, usable with but a thought by the controller, each issuing from a different head.
Red: Heightened Fireball (7th level)
Blue: Ball Lightning or Arc Lightning (both heightened to 7th)
Green: Extended, Enlarged, Widened Acid Fog (40' radius/high fog, lasts 2 rnds/level, 200'+20'/lvl range)
Black: Heightened Acid Storm (7th level)
White: Polar Ray
The caster level of each effect is that of the operator, making Eminence Talismans a very common companion to the device.
Each head has a 5 round cool down time. The Abishai heads fire a volley of Magic Stones (save that the damage roll is 2d10+1, for simplicity sake, as each head fires three stones a round). Ten such heads cast the spell and immediately launch the stones each round, for a total of 30 stones, and each can target a different square, though each square must be adjacent to at least one other fired upon square. This is much akin to firing a volley (HoB68), the operator makes an attack roll against AC 15 using just BAB, Int. Mod, the Spell Bombard's bonus noted below and range increment (150' range). A volley which misses it's target suffers from drift like any projectile(PHB158). A successful attack means that the volley has hit the targeted squares, and creatures therein must make a Reflex save for half damage (DC 16 if firing upon at least four squares, 20 if firing on one to three squares, -2/range increment).
Unlike the dragon heads, this is an deplete-able resource. The Spell Bombard can hold a chunk of stone in each of it's two free talons. Every pound of stone provides 16 bullets. The claws can hold up to about 10 lbs. of stone. Typically these stores are replenished through the use of Major creation to create 10 lb. cubes (~3^3') of stone, but the actual limitation is size, not weight, so reduce shenanigans are usually in full force, but the bullets remain merely 1 oz. pebbles, so the only use is in decreasing reload frequency.
All targeting of spells from the Spell Bombard benefits from +2 bonus due to it's range finder map.
The Spell Bombard is typically the work of a team of casters, due to it's heavy spell requirements and cost, and frequently requires either a metamagic specialist or an epic level caster for the Acid Fog effect (an 11th level spell after metamagic). Given that the device uses the operator's caster level for it's effects, the crafters put their magic into the device at the lowest possible level to speed work along somewhat. Even so, the device takes roughly a year and a half to craft, without any aid. If one assumes each spell effect is laid in by a different caster, and that this means that it only takes as long as the most expensive effect, it still requires 253 days to craft. This can be further sped up through the use of bound servitors or tireless crafters.
A Spell Bombard radiates strong Evocation and Conjuration, as well as faint Transmutation.
The market price is, essentially, "No." as the device has a value, based on spell levels, of 530,000gp. Thus it is typically constructed at the order of a powerful figure who counts powerful casters amongst his court. Even when a fortress with a Spell Bombard falls, the invading force has either taken such heavy casualties that they either need the item to protect themselves, or cannot justify looting it. There are occasional Spell Bombards found in planar markets, but even they are jealously guarded for their power.

Eminence Talisman
An Eminence Talisman is a simple, and largely useless magic item. All it really does is provide a bonus to caster level equal to character level, assuming, of course, that the wearer does not have a caster level to begin with. If they do, then the Talisman merely raises their caster level to their character level, effectively only really good for saving yourself a few feats. Slightly more useful is that the Talisman provides a competence bonus to Use Magic Device equal to one half character level.
Eminence Talismans are usually relatively simple affairs of a precious metal set with a single gem that actually looks rather gaudy and fake. Such is the nature of stones of pure condensed magical energy. There's a reason why it can be so hard for a wizard to be stylish.

[Prak]

Minor Magic Weapon Quality: Dramatic
Some people have weapons that follow the basic rules of drama. A well timed cocking, a sword that takes your entire speech to draw, etc. In addition to your weapon taking as long to prepare as the speech you make while doing so (allowing amazingly long sword blades with the right badass boast, even to the point of defying armspan), it also hits harder when it matters most (doubling base crit range, ie, before any additions to crit range), and allows you to avoid attacks when in a tight spot, allowing you to add the weapon's enhancement bonus, and your key ability modifier (strength if melee, dex if ranged) to your AC. Finally, once per session, you may take a move, standard or full round action to make a speech, a badass boast, or the like. A move action speech grants a +1d6 to damage, a standard action speech +2d6, and a full round speech grants +2d8 damage for the remainder of the encounter. This bonus damage only applies to the enemy you give it to, but will kick in every time you face that enemy in the session. While a single chosen enemy will take no action against you while you perform this speech, it does leave you vulnerable to other enemies.

[Josh_Kablack]

That's actually three minor qualities.

• A slightly clarified version of Keen,
• a worse on average, but better for twinked characters version of Defending
• and then your monolog now for extra damage later ability

So before I even get to thinking about the neat new ability, it's literally as good as two other BoG lesser weapon qualities combined.

[Prak]

Ok. Moderate, eh?

[Prak]

Red Tape
A hand sized metal shield, depicting a stack of papers, attached to 15' of red bandage, Red Tape bewilders those who don't know how to work with it.
It is worn much like a warrior's fist wrap, wrapped many times over the hand, wrist and forearm, and should end with the shield-talisman facing outward from the lower end of the forearm. It takes Int Check modified by BAB or Profession (Lawyer, Bureaucrat, Infernal Lawyer, etc.) at DC 20 to put it on correctly.
Assuming a character has put Red Tape on correctly, they enjoy the effects of a continuous Shield effect, enhanced by 1/3 their character level. However, Red Tape is binding, and hard to act in. It provides Spell Failure (both Arcane and Divine) to spell casters wearing it of 90%, minus 5% per rank of Profession (Lawyer, Bureaucrat, Infernal Lawyer, etc). Non-spell casters who wear Red Tape suffer a -15 penalty to attack rolls, which is lowered by one point per rank of appropriate Profession skill.

The Law
A heavy (10lb.) tablet of stone, inscribed with ancient runes describing archaic codes of punishment on a thick metal chain, The Law can grant it's wearer it's full Weight, Authority or Protection. Only one effect may be used each round.
The Weight of The Law gives it's wearer great gravitas, causing them to make strength related rolls as if they were one size category larger.
The Authority of The Law causes all to bend to it's wearer's will, granting an enhancement bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks equal to their character level. Once per day, they can use Dominate Monster.
The Protection of the Law grants it's wearer a continuous Greater Mage Armour effect, enhanced as Magic Armour (for a total of 6+1/3 character level).
The Law is a weighty burden, weighing 10 lbs, and treated as Heavy armour for abilities which do not function in specific types of armour, and restricts land speed as heavy armour does.

[Kaelik]

Fuck this thread times infinity. It permanently registers as new, no matter how many times I click on it, no matter how many times I click on every post on the page. Fuck this thread.

[...You Lost Me]

Fuck this thread times infinity. It permanently registers as new, no matter how many times I click on it, no matter how many times I click on every post on the page. Fuck this thread.

If you have something of no value or relevance that you absolutely have to say, say it in some thread that in either IMHO or MPSIMS, not in this subforum.

[Kaelik]

Fuck this thread times infinity. It permanently registers as new, no matter how many times I click on it, no matter how many times I click on every post on the page. Fuck this thread.

If you have something of no value or relevance that you absolutely have to say, say it in some thread that in either IMHO or MPSIMS, not in this subforum.

But it was of value to me, because posting in a thread marks it as read when no other method would.

[Prak]

Try clearing your cookies and cache, that fixed the problem when I was experiencing the problem a while back.

[Omegonthesane]

Red Tape
A hand sized metal shield, depicting a stack of papers, attached to 15' of red bandage, Red Tape bewilders those who don't know how to work with it.
It is worn much like a warrior's fist wrap, wrapped many times over the hand, wrist and forearm, and should end with the shield-talisman facing outward from the lower end of the forearm. It takes Int Check modified by BAB or Profession (Lawyer, Bureaucrat, Infernal Lawyer, etc.) at DC 20 to put it on correctly.
Assuming a character has put Red Tape on correctly, they enjoy the effects of a continuous Shield effect, enhanced by 1/3 their character level. However, Red Tape is binding, and hard to act in. It provides Spell Failure (both Arcane and Divine) to spell casters wearing it of 90%, minus 5% per rank of Profession (Lawyer, Bureaucrat, Infernal Lawyer, etc). Non-spell casters who wear Red Tape suffer a -15 penalty to attack rolls, which is lowered by one point per rank of appropriate Profession skill.

Do ranks in appropriate professions stack for the purpose of wielding Red Tape? e.g. if someone at level 2 had 5 ranks each of Profession (Contract Lawyer), Profession (Bureaucrat) and Profession (Tax Lawyer) could they use Red Tape without penalty?

[Prak]

I was going to say no, because it seems like cheating, but on the other hand it seems like a very lawyer/bureaucratish thing to do so I'll allow it.

Plus it still means someone is spending ten ranks on otherwise useless skills, so, sure.

[AndreiChekov]

Has anyone ever though of making Meridia's Bacon?

A round orb that casts light (Caster level 3) at will, and generates three lbs. of bacon 1/day.

CR 2

Edit: forgot caster level.

[Prak]

I have no clue what that's from...

[Aryxbez]

Has anyone ever though of making Meridia's Bacon?

I believe it's a joking reference to a skyrim Daedric Quest Item. Meridia being the Daedric Prince of Light/energy, and so it's an obvious play on words from "Beacon". Funnily enough, since I'm currently doing an Elder Scrolls campaign, seeing magic item version of various artifacts could always be useful for me (In fact with some help, have an idea of what an artifact or two would translate into for my campaign).