The Gaming Den

My group is sucking the joy out of D&D for me.

They refuse to spend even five minutes fucking reading the book and trying to learn even basic rules. They are regressing to total retard level because they are forgetting even the basic stuff they used to know. The game slows to a crawl because I have to guide them through any action more complex than rolling attack and damage. And honestly it seems half the time they are barely capable of that. All but one of them plays with laptops but never can anyone be bothered to look something up in the SRD. Instead they ask me, then dispute my claim about the rules with nothing to back up their own position.

They don't even bother to read and understand their own character abilities, so they unintentionally cripple themselves which will probably lead to their untimely demise later on. Maybe that's a blessing.

One guy is constantly telling another guy what he can and can't do in the rules. Which is hilarious since he's wrong 99% of the time, as he doesn't know the rules at all. I don't know where he got the idea that he knows what he's talking about.

Another guy plays characters who are apparently the most sensitive little whiny bitches. He will try to derail the game for the sake of the most retardedly pointless vendettas against imaginary characters. For example, say an NPC says, "I disagree with that." Apparently that means we need to derail the game for an hour to ruin that NPC's imaginary life. What a fucking waste of time, people want to have battles with crazy monsters and go on epic quests, not go punch a baker who overbaked some cookies.

Fuck it. FUCK IT ALL.

<wuffles>

In one game, where I wasn't the MC but was just helping (and he had me on hand as the Official Registered Rules Lawyer - specifically not as an insult, but for "Okay, so uh... how does grappling work?" *everyone turns to look at me*), there was a problem that basically all the players were primarily White Wolf players. This means they were used to "Theoretically there are some rules but it's all just made up on the spot: roll some dice of some description and then the MC makes something up".

I printed out a small leaflet (3-4 pages) of the most common stuff and handed it out. It had little cartoon things I drew, to make it more fun. So I explained reach, "What goes into your Armour Class and when it does or does not apply", a basic rundown of status effects (including the major "What actions am I denied?") and then the final page of "Attacks of Opportunity: the Offside rule of D&D".

They read it and understood it. You could *try* doing that, but it sounds like your group are actually unwilling to learn, and not just "ignorant of the rules and bewildered by the massive volume of rules".

infected slut princess wrote: One guy is constantly telling another guy what he can and can't do in the rules. Which is hilarious since he's wrong 99% of the time, as he doesn't know the rules at all. I don't know where he got the idea that he knows what he's talking about.

If you're also using a laptop, just use this every time he says something wrong. Make sure he knows you are deducting "ten points".

They don't read the rules and then argue about them? Ouch, now I'm grateful my players merely don't read the rules.

Koumei wrote:I printed out a small leaflet (3-4 pages) of the most common stuff and handed it out. It had little cartoon things I drew, to make it more fun. So I explained reach, "What goes into your Armour Class and when it does or does not apply", a basic rundown of status effects (including the major "What actions am I denied?") and then the final page of "Attacks of Opportunity: the Offside rule of D&D".

Could you send me a copy? I'll PM you my email address if you still have a digital copy.

Ancient History wrote:<wuffles>

I don't know what that means.

Koumei wrote:I printed out a small leaflet (3-4 pages) of the most common stuff and handed it out.

Would you be kind enough to share it with me?

"Wuffles" are a generic, non-denominational show of sympathy/affection. Like <hugs>, but less intimate.

Oh, well that's nice, thanks. You wouldn't want to hug me, as my skin is sticky from slut-related activities and an aura of sexually transmitted disease hangs over me like a pall.

Also, I'm a ginger and I might accidentally steal your soul when I rub up against you.

Have you considered, say, getting yourself another table?

Dogbert wrote:Have you considered, say, getting yourself another table?

What he said. Or you could get a new group via hangout or skype, if you like it.

Sorry, it was very nearly ten years ago, and something like five computers ago.

Aw, too bad. I think I'll make one for my group. They're all bibliophobes so maybe a smaller, more focused document might encourage them to actually read the rules. I'll throw in pretty pictures from the pdfs, and terrible drawings from me (been meaning to actually use the tablet I bought for a while). What books, documents, websites etc. did you use in making it?

I used Microsoft Word to make it, and I can't remember what I used to make the drawings. It might have been tablet+photoshop or gimp, or using Flash to draw vector art (which lets you use a mouse just fine).

The only books I drew information from were the PHB and DMG, as it was really just there to explain some basic rules.

I do recall making a basic grid thing with a picture of an elf, pictures of orcs or goblins, shaded area for threatened squares, and some dotted lines for movement with "This movement would provoke from X, but not Y" or "Making just a 5' swindle here would let him shoot X and Y with his bow without getting punched in the face - unless X had a polearm or spiked chain!"

Would that group be easier to manage with a 'rules lite' game with more MTP elements?

I'll probably go with Flash for drawings. A more cartoony style is harder to mess up, and vectors work well with them. I hate their brush tool though as its size depends on how much you've zoomed, but the pencil's okay, and things don't look weird when you resize them. One thing I really like about the tablet is that the normal lasso tool actually becomes useful.

I think rules lite works best when everyone has similar expectations from a game and are willing to compromise with each other and the GM to a degree. isp's group doesn't seem like the type to be able to pull it off.