Stupid Setting Ideas vol 2: Earth Wrestling Federation

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:01 am

Ten years ago the Invaders came. Aliens from another galaxy, bent on conquest and destruction. Our armies couldn't stop them. They were immune to bullets, ate tanks for breakfast, and laughed at close air support.
Nuclear weapons were used, and gave them mild tans.

But then a hero stepped up and would not back down. Determined and unbeatable he plowed through the aliens hoards by exploiting their one and only weakness: professional wrestling. Soon more heroes from all across the world followed his lead and the United Earth Wrestling Federation was born.

But the Invaders weren't destroyed, just defeated. Going underground, they began subverting the world from within, hidden but still powerful.

As a member of the UEWF your mission is to find the Invaders wherever they ply their evil schemes and stop them the only way they can be stopped, by rassling them into submission.

Your ultimate goal is to become the UEWF Heavyweight Champion of the World, the most powerful person on the planet under the Revised Earth Constitution. The UEWF World Heavyweight Champion is President and Supreme Leader of the Earth. With the belt comes absolute world domination. In the hands of a saint it can produce prosperity. In the hands of a monster it can produce ruin. In the hands of a man, who knows. In the hands of an Invader, it would be out absolute enslavement.

vagrant · Post by **vagrant** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:03 am

I would play this. So hard.

Corsair114 · Post by **Corsair114** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:14 am

Sounds like a bit of a spin off ofKinnikuman.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:27 am

Didn't the WWE already do that angle back in the early '90s?

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:32 am

needs more

Vebyast · Post by **Vebyast** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 5:26 am

Sounds like Guacamelee.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 6:26 am

Needs moar Mortal Kombat. By wrestling in arenas, you get mystic ownership of blah blah blah.

-Username17

Wiseman · Post by **Wiseman** » Sat Aug 03, 2013 9:15 pm

This is made of win!

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Aug 06, 2013 11:56 pm

The Bible is wrong. God did not rest on the Seventh Day. On the Seventh Day, God created Wrestlemania.

Since the dawn of time Professional Wrestling had been the Truest Expression of the Ultimate Perfection of Heaven. It is Genesis within a Squared Circle, the Ultimate Truth and Power of the Cosmos, Creation and Destruction bound together by the will of Man and Monster alike. It is the Dance of Eternity that only ends on the Count of Three.

There were many trees in the Garden of Eden, but none were the Tree of Knowledge. That is a lie spun to cover up the truth, lest Forbidden Powers be unearthed by man.

Eve and Lilith were longstanding rivals locked in a feud over the affections of Eve's manager, Adam, and the Garden of Eden Women's Heavyweight Championship Belt.

After much trash talk, they agreed to a Belt or Boyfriend match. If Eve won, she would get the title. If Lilith won, Adam would have to marry her. The match was sanction by the Eden Wrestling Association and a priest was standing by to perform the ceremony in the event that Lillith won.

Lillith was larger than Eve, and stronger, and more experienced. Though Eve got some early hits in with unexpected high-flying moves, she found herself being gradually worn down by the more powerful woman. In desperation, she used the Forbidden Slam, The Knowledge of Good and Evil, which draws upon the Kernels of Good and Evil that exists within the hearts of all beings and amplifies them a thousand fold, turning them into an attack that nothing can withstand.

The referee was not looking. By the time he turned back towards the action Lillith was on the mat unconscious and Eve covered her. The Ref counted to three and declared Eve to be the new Champion.

Eve believed herself to be home free, but though the Referee did not see her cheat the Lord had been watching intently in his Skybox.

Before Eve could finish celebrating her victory the announcer brought a phone to the Referee, who spoke with God for a moment and then officially reversed his decision. Eve was disqualified. Her victory was void. Neither title nor boyfriend changed hands. And Eve, for her transgression, was exiled from the EWA. Adam left with her and they eventually founded their own Wrestling Federation in the land that would become known as Israel.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:43 am

Nice.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:57 am

That is incredible. And we also know that there was one guy in the Bible who beat God with the crippler crossface, and the Macho Man Randy Savage averted the Apocalypse by facing God IN A STEEL CAGE! OOOOOH, YEEEEAAAAH.

I wonder what else was not mentioned there? Perhaps the Tenth Plague was actually the name of a submission hole Moses "The Angel of Death" used against Pharaoh in their "Contract for the Israelites" match?

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:50 pm

Best retcon ever.

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Fri Aug 09, 2013 11:26 pm

Cain and Abel were a tag-time superstar match until one fateful day Cain was paid off by rival manager Lucifer to throw the match. When Abel managed to hold his own anyway, Lucifer distracted the ref while Cain slammed Abel over the back of the head with a folding chair, and that was the end of it.

The Ten Plagues was the PPV event when another pair of former teammates, Rameses and heel-face turned Moses, faced off for control of the contracts of the entire Israelite league, which Rameses had been using to marginalize the Hebrews, shuffling them off-stage for his big Upper Egypt vs. Lower Egypt matches, and exploiting loopholes to use the Hebrew wrestlers as janitors and work crews.

The Lion's Den was the name of a cage match in which the Babylonian League Manager would throw wrestlers he didn't like to be pummeled by "the lions," a team of five of his best wrestlers who would wrestle their unlucky opponent simultaneously in a no-holds-barred match. David infamously won the Lion's Den when the Angel smuggled himself inside the cage match and the lions refused to fight both of the Israel League's greatest wrestlers, even 5-to-2.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Fri Aug 30, 2013 2:11 am

Wrestlers aren't born; they're made. Becoming a wrestler is a life-changing event, not unlike becoming a superhero. Some set out seeking greatness, others have it thrust upon them. None are unchanged.

Every Wrestler has an origin, the source of his powers. These are divided into three broad categories:

Training: The All Naturals, their power comes from hard work and superior skills. Most Natural wrestlers are self-made, as the hard work and determination required to surpass normal human limits is not something that can easily be forced upon someone.

Supernatural: Some people die and come back. Some people make deals with demons. Others find out that a great great grandparent was a fallen angel. Supernatural wrestlers all receive their origin and powers from magic. Self-made spernatural are usually witches or wizards, while the accidental ones come in many categories.

Technological: Technological wrestlers are cyborgs and robots. Many were totally rebuilt from the ground up, either due to injuries or a desire for power.

icyshadowlord · Post by **icyshadowlord** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 12:53 pm

FrankTrollman wrote:Needs moar Mortal Kombat. By wrestling in arenas, you get mystic ownership of blah blah blah.

-Username17

Agreed, though how many worlds does the champion own?

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:12 pm

Wrestlers need to be able to steal or channel super meter fighting spirit from the crowd. Tuning up the band, throwing off your elbow pad or freaking out like you're having a seizure Hulk or Daniel Bryan style isn't just showboating, it's a high risk maneuver used to harvest real ultimate power so you can flip out and kill people.