Misogynist gay vampires have such vag terror their secretions melt women like alien blood, but that's OK because they are sexy sexy androgynous men vampires who can have all the gay sex they want with each other and it's totally sexy and hot. Wraeththu is based on a series of novels by incredibly repressed British author "Storm Constantine". Amazingly, she is a woman and not a gay man.
It's roughly the equivalent of the people who are so creeped out about seeing dudes in their porn that they replace all the men with dick girls. And then get so caught up in that they replace all the women with dick girls too. But this time from the other side where it's a woman who is creepily freaked out by the idea of talking or thinking or looking at naked chicks and simply has all the characters be pretty boys with vagina hands.
And then they made an RPG out of it, and no one knows why.
That is so deeply fucked-up a review of it would have to be hilarious.
I'm not asking it be done immediately, there's other things to do and I'm patient.
But I now want to see this done.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
If it would tide you over, Maxus, here's a Fatal & Friends review of Wraeththu. The reviewer tasked himself with reviewing the more terrible things out there, including half the Urban Horror games that exist (there are many - Unknown Armies is the least shit of the modern-era ones if you don't count AS).
Koumei wrote:If it would tide you over, Maxus, here's a Fatal & Friends review of Wraeththu.
The Horror... the horror!
Wraeththu wrote:As a storyteller you can assume the characters are taking Aruna with each other, simply as often as they have to. You still need to actually mention what is going on though, not ignore the act completely. Simply say "So once in the inn you all take Aruna and wake up the next morning."
(PURPLEXVI'S EXPLANATION: Aruna = Wraeththu boning, Wraeththu need to get their alien/mutant boners on or they die.)
With everyone aware that Aruna is going on, it becomes easier to take the next step.
Never, ever "take the next step". As terrifying as Wraeththu is I think it has been reviewed several times already. Here's another one from RPG.net that is almost snarky enough to be a Den review.
It's worth noting that someone started a review of fucking Dungeon: the Dragoning 40,000, Seventh Edition. Hilarious is the bit where they say that "some people looked past the joke aspect and looked into the mechanics and realised it's playable and it's awesome!"
I would debate that. It's not very playable, and it's more stupid than awesome. I don't just say that as someone who already did a D&D40k thing, too.
Also they discuss minor issues about things as though reviewing an actual serious real game and expecting better.
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
As near as I can tell, Dungeons the Dragoning 7th Edition actually is a serious game that uses its over-the-top hyperbole to claim parody status so that they can use copyrighted materials and even registered trademarks in their heartbreaker without getting sued. The mashup of mechanics is not a joke, that's their actual heartbreaker. The use of flavor elements from multiple sources is stupid, but no different from the gate world setting I was working on when I was 14.
I can't take their claims of it being "only a joke" terribly seriously, because I know from personal experience that this is exactly what the games you write look like when you have more enthusiasm and ambition than math skills and sense.
Ah, so it should actually be reviewed in the manner of "okay, a fifteen year old did this and is really hyped and pumped about it. If marketed to similar, it will be well-received. So it's stupid to me, but be encouraging when pointing flaws out".
And I suppose it's more cohesive than Rifts, at the end of the day.
Edit: oh right, now I remember. Speaking of Rifts, which splat should I review? We have:
-Atlantis (the crazy begins)
-England (now with techno-Camelot... and time mages)
-Africa (it isn't just "ooga booga black man jungle", they even remember that Egypt is part of Africa. It's less offensive than it could be)
-Triax + NGR (Germany. Gargoyles vs Nazis, I don't know which one Merkel is.)
-South America (now with DINOSAURS)
-Underseas (WHALE SONG MAGIC)
-Japan (ninja cyborgs, yes)
-South America 2: the brokening
-Juicer Uprising (for every flavour of juice)
-Lone Star (now with cat, bear, bat and monkey variants of dogboy)
-Australia (yes, with mutant kangaroos!)
-Atlantis 2: Splynn Dimensional Market
-Phaseworld (bigger numbers in space!)
-Phaseworld 2 (EVEN BIGGER NUMBERS IN SPACE)
-Wormwood (a sign that Kev was drunk on absinthe)
Last edited by Koumei on Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
I vote Wormwood, mostly because the brief time I was in a rifts game the GM wouldn't let me use anything out off it, and I seem to remember thinking the old drunks that fought demons were awesome and didn't know why he wouldn't let me play one.
I read the Australia book and it's actually pretty close to how my mind's eye envisions the place now, so I don't know if that'd be a real treat.
In this moment, I am Ur-phoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my int score.
Koumei wrote:-Wormwood (a sign that Kev was drunk on absinthe)
Wormwood has the distinction of having even more broken rules than regular Rifts. We tried to play it in high school, and after one fight we gave up. The rules are literally unplayable crap. The background and world were kind of cool, with a freaky living bio-planet full of monsters, but even expecting the standard Rifts rules-fail that shit was terrible.
So I have most of a bottle of whiskey leftover from my brother's 21st birthday, and feel like doing one of these, preferably taking a system I've never tried before blind.
Anyone got a recommendation, or something they want to see reviewed? Preferable if I can find the book online for 15 bucks or less, but not required.
Do Mouseguard. Seriously. Not because I think it's an awful game, because it's not, because it's a really odd duck.
Also, the comics that go along with them range from awesome to awesomely awful. Mouseguard: The Graphic Novel is pretty good despite having the typical Mouse World problems. That is, everything in the setting is on human scale including strength and weight ratios despite ostensibly being mouse-sized. And all of the mouse characters, being fucking realistically-drawn mice, are hard to distinguish from each other and the fantasy name conventions make it worse. Seriously, the main trio are differentiated from each other by their cloak color, like it was a 2nd Generation video game. But if you can get past that it's a genuinely good comic. The art is very, very boss and the dialogue and atmosphere is very slick. If you thought Jon Snow's subplot was interesting, you'll like Mouseguard.
Mouse Templar on the other hand is awesomely awful. For example, a pack of rats with spears take down a healthy buck with said spears and force their mousie slaves to eat deer meat.
Last edited by Lago PARANOIA on Fri May 17, 2013 1:07 am, edited 2 times in total.
Josh Kablack wrote:Your freedom to make rulings up on the fly is in direct conflict with my freedom to interact with an internally consistent narrative. Your freedom to run/play a game without needing to understand a complex rule system is in direct conflict with my freedom to play a character whose abilities and flaws function as I intended within that ruleset. Your freedom to add and change rules in the middle of the game is in direct conflict with my ability to understand that rules system before I decided whether or not to join your game.
In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.
Last edited by darkmaster on Fri May 17, 2013 12:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Kaelik wrote:
darkmaster wrote:Tgdmb.moe, like the gaming den, but we all yell at eachother about wich lucky star character is the cutest.
Fuck you Haruhi is clearly the best moe anime, and we will argue about how Haruhi and Nagato are OP and um... that girl with blond hair? is for shitters.
If you like Lucky Star then I will explain in great detail why Lucky Star is the a shitty shitty anime for shitty shitty people, and how the characters have no interesting abilities at all, and everything is poorly designed especially the skill challenges.
Lago PARANOIA wrote:If you thought Jon Snow's subplot was interesting, you'll like Mouseguard.
So if Jon Snow's subplot was what finally made me put the book down and wish terrible misfortune upon GRR Martin and all his descendants down unto the seventh generation, does that mean I'll probably hate the Mouseguard comics just as much?
darkmaster wrote:Tgdmb.moe, like the gaming den, but we all yell at eachother about wich lucky star character is the cutest.
Fuck you Haruhi is clearly the best moe anime, and we will argue about how Haruhi and Nagato are OP and um... that girl with blond hair? is for shitters.
If you like Lucky Star then I will explain in great detail why Lucky Star is the a shitty shitty anime for shitty shitty people, and how the characters have no interesting abilities at all, and everything is poorly designed especially the skill challenges.
