The signature limit is too short!

DrPraetor · Post by **DrPraetor** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 8:48 pm

Your Mom


Size/Type:	Huge Aberration (Augmented Monstrous Humanoid)
Hit Dice:	8D8+40
Initiative:	-1
Speed:	5 ft. (1 square)
Armor Class:	8 (-2 size, -1 Dex, +1 natural), touch 7, flat-footed 8
Base Attack/Grapple:	+6/+22
Attack:	Malformed Limb +12 (1D10+8) or Severed Member +12 (1D6+8 plus disease)
Full Attack:	8 Malformed Limbs +12 (1D10+8) and/or Severed Members +12 (1D6+8 plus disease) in combination
Space/Reach:	15 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:	Improved Grab, Reduce Hardness, Disease
Special Qualities:	Tremorsense, Multiple Grapple, Stinking Cloud, Nausea Immunity
Saves:	Fort +7, Ref +1, Will +4
Abilities:	Str 26, Dex 8, Con 20, Int 1, Wis 1, Cha 1
Skills:	Profession (Cook) -4, Profession (Courtesan) -4
Feats:	Multiattack, Endurance, Street Rat
Environment:	Countryside
Organization:	Train (1 plus Giants, see text)
Challenge Rating:	7
Treasure:	none
Alignment:	Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement:	9HD (Gargantuan), 10HD (Colossal), 11HD (BigFuckinMcHuge)
Level Adjustment:	-

Code: Select all

Size/Type&#58; Huge Aberration &#40;Augmented Monstrous Humanoid&#41;
Hit Dice&#58; 8D8+10
Initiative&#58; -1
Speed&#58; 5 ft. &#40;1 square&#41;
Armor Class&#58; 8 &#40;-2 size, -1 Dex, +1 natural&#41;, touch 7, flat-footed 8
Base Attack/Grapple&#58; +6/+22
Attack&#58; Malformed Limb +12 &#40;1D10+8&#41; or Severed Member +12 &#40;1D6+8 plus disease&#41;
Full Attack&#58; 8 Malformed Limbs +12 &#40;1D10+8&#41; and/or Severed Members +12 &#40;1D6+8 plus disease&#41; in combination
Space/Reach&#58; 15 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks&#58; Improved Grab, Reduce Hardness, Disease
Special Qualities&#58; Tremorsense, Multiple Grapple, Stinking Cloud, Nausea Immunity
Saves&#58; Fort +7, Ref +1, Will +4
Abilities&#58; Str 26, Dex 8, Con 20, Int 1, Wis 1, Cha 1
Skills&#58; Profession &#40;Cook&#41; -4, Profession &#40;Courtesan&#41; -4
Feats&#58; Multiattack, Endurance, Street Rat
Environment&#58; Countryside
Organization&#58; Train &#40;1 plus Giants, see text&#41;
Challenge Rating&#58; 7
Treasure&#58; none
Alignment&#58; Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement&#58; 9HD &#40;Gargantuan&#41;, 10HD &#40;Colossal&#41;, 11HD &#40;BigFuckinMcHuge&#41;
Level Adjustment&#58; -

Your Mom will be encountered grappling with 8 of a larger train of giants, with the remainder waiting to join the fray. These giants and monstrous humanoids will be unarmed, and will attack Your Mom to inflict subdual damage. The train will always include either 2D6 fire giants or 2D6 frost giants (50% chance of each), and there is a 50% chance that 1D6 trolls will be part of the train, and a 50% chance that 1 barbed devil and 2D6 lemures are part of the train. If fewer than 8 giants are present, hill giants are added to bring the total to 8.
Your Mom has eight malformed limbs, and can attack with all of them in a given round, including any malformed limbs which are wielding a severed limb from one of her victims.

Multiple Grapple (Ex)
Your Mom can grapple any number of opponents simultaneously without penalty, and uses the size of her largest opponent in the grapple to calculate her grapple check bonus, if it is larger than her own size.

Stinking Cloud (Ex)
Your Mom is constantly surrounded by a Stinking Cloud, 20-feet in radius, that moves with her but is otherwise identical to the spell. The save DC for her stinking cloud is 19, and this DC is Constitution-based. If dispersed by a Gust of Wind or similar magic, the cloud reforms in 1 round.

Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, Your Mom must hit with a tentacle attack. She can then attempt to start a grapple without provoking an attack of opportunity.

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 9:46 pm

The fuck?

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:03 pm

He wanted to put stats for "your mum" in his sig, but doesn't have enough characters.

Praetor, I'd suggest taking it out of the table and just bolding the stat headings, like HD.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:19 am

My only complaint is that it goes from Huge to Colossal to Gargantuan. It should be Huge -> Gargantuan -> Colossal. And Titanic is a size category in M&M. D&D officially uses Colossal+ which is stupid, whereas the Den uses BigLargeMcFuckenHuge, which is not stupid. Er I mean, "Which is stupid, but is intended to be so, rather than being unimaginative".

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 1:18 am

Use [code] tags instead of [table] tags.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:02 pm

How does it get +10 HP on 8 HD?

...You Lost Me · Post by **...You Lost Me** » Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:51 am

Hah, yeah it should be +40. Maybe it was a typo, but this is a steve anyways.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:13 am

There is something seriously fucking wrong with that table now.

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:18 am

The skill line is wrong. Well, profession is fine. But cook? That's just not true. Should be something else. After all, she's a professional. Works nights. Her affections are, shall we say, negotiable.

Ah, there's no polite way to say this. Your mother's a whore.

DSMatticus · Post by **DSMatticus** » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:22 am

DrPraetor wrote:Organization: Train (1 plus Giants and Monstrous humanoids, see text)

DrPraetor wrote:see text

I don't want to and you can't make me.

codeGlaze · Post by **codeGlaze** » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:42 am

Prak_Anima wrote:There is something seriously fucking wrong with that table now.

No table tags

DrPraetor · Post by **DrPraetor** » Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:51 am

Now why didn't this thread show up when I searched for it on google? I had to find it on my user's page.

The Adventurer's Almanac · Mon Feb 10, 2020 4:35 pm

You've been deplatformed for making rude jokes.