So they ate the giant (well, Kwess did), and decided they could make a throne out of her skeleton so they took that. Then decided to go give [Princess] his Manliness back, in return for him making dessert. It was fiery, granting them Cold Resist 15 for "the rest of the session".
Upon returning home, the foreman of the "turn the gold Device into a giant fuck-off electric guitar" project explained how they couldn't get it working, dood, because the power source needs to be Mjolnir, the Rank 40 Legendary Warhammer.
So they went to the senate to get permission to fully Item World.
Avariel bribed the green dragon with acid, Kwess gave her autograph to the apple, and Harry intimidated his fellow ghost.
Then Kwess gave the orc a lap dance, Avariel failed to intimidate a wood golem, and Harry bribed it. In the end, there was only one Nay (Sen. Dood).
Motion [Go Deeper] Passed! Apparently I can say the Aye and Nay
exactly like the game says them.
For Item World, we decided it would basically be a handful of individual levels that are unconnected, and just a few, with much "and you skip 20 levels". So they did floor 1:
4 Slimes (CR 1) and 3 Hell Moths (CR 1). Quivering with fear. They would have surrendered, but Kwess and Harry decided to Whirlwind them.
Skipped to level 20. A Bronze Serpent (Item General) awaited, along with 6 regular shitty human zombies. But as soon as they got there... PIRATES ALERT!
Ion cannon blasts rained down (all must make a DC 15 Ref Save or take 6d6 Electricity damage). The Serpent is immune, the PCs all pass, and 3 zombies pass (the rest explode). One rolls a 20 (for a total of 19 - I'm not using the dumb 1 and 20 rules, but players love a 1 or 20 anyway) so he was declared a ninja.
The Space Battleship Yoshitsuna arrived, with four PRISM PIRATES!
PRISM RED! Rogue 5/Prism 4: 13 17 15 11 (14) 9 14 -2/53 Init +9
-Imp. Init, Blooded, Multi-Attack, Finesse, Heroic Stab
+14/+14/+14/+9/+9 Touch Magic Knives (1d6+4 plus 2d6 Fire and 3d6 Sneak Attack)
-The Hero! Fire Resist 18 Cold Resist 18 Poison Immune Electricity Resist 45
-Magic Lycra at +5
-AC 19 (Flat 15 Touch 14) Fort +10 Ref +15 Will +4
-Prism Aura
-Helmet of Saving Grace
PRISM BLUE! Wizard 9: 13 15 14 18 (21) 9 11 -21/22 Init +6
-Imp. Init, Jotunbrud, INA, Extend, Imp. Grapple, Mountain Crush
-Blue Lycra: Cold Resist 18
-BAB/Grab +4/+34 (1d6+1d12+2+2d6Cold+1d8Acid)
-Swift: +5 Dodge to AC, Immediate: +2d6 Cold to Red
-AC 17 (Touch 12 Flat 15) Fort +8 Ref +8 Will +8
-Helmet of Saving Grace
1st DC 16: Enlarge Person--, Babau Slime--, Grease, MM, MM, Grease
2nd DC 17: Web, Summon Swarm, Bladeweave--, Balor Nimbus (6d6)--, Fearsome Grapple (+8)
3rd DC 18: Displacement--, Hamatula Barbs (1d6)--, Fireball, Fly
4th DC 19: Black Tentacles, Shadow Well, Extended Fearsome Grapple--
5th DC 20: TK, TK
Yes, a grapplemancer who was pre-buffed - but hey, it's better than just using those spells on actual "You lose" spells. I sandbagged a bit, but that made it fun for all.
PRISM GREEN! Barbarian 9: 18 (21) 14 15 (18) 9 11 13 -114/103 Init +8 DR 1/-
-Blooded, Imp. Init, Jump Attack, Imp. Toughness, Shark Proficiency
-Green Lycra: Poison Immune, RAAAAAGE
-AC 17 (Touch 12 Flat 15)
-Swift Poison (DC 18, 1d6 Con 1d6 Con)
-Charging Shark Slap +14 (15) 3d6+30 (3d6+37) and 2 Con
-Stationary Shark Slap +15/+10 (15/10) 3d6+18 (3d6+29) and 2 Con
-Garter Belt of Manliness
-Immediate: Red does 2 Con
PRISM YELLOW!
-Elf Rogue 9: 9 19 (22) 14 14 13 11 -81/49 Init +12
-Blooded, Imp. Init, Multi-Attack, Rapidshot
-Yellow Lycra Electricity Resist 45
-Helmet of Saving Grace
-Evasion
-AC 21 (Flat 15 Touch 16) Fort +8 Ref +15 Will +7
-Immediate: +2d6 Zap to Red
-Flasks +12/+12/+12/+7/+7 Touch (1d6 Acid +5d6 Sneak Attack)
-Swift Lightning Bolt (9d6 Zap, DC 20)
I randomly rolled (including the snake) to see who each Prism Ranger attacked at first.
Snake charges Sam, bites and squeezes!
Avariel entangles ninja zombie with rope (wants to catch it)
Yellow zaps Harry with lightning bolt, Sam evades, snake is immune, explodes a zombie
Green shark-slaps the cat with a charge, COUNTER!, poison misses
Blue attempts to suplex the snake, Sam helps, BAM!
Red stabs Harry into negative 1 (the other rangers all aid him)! (can act fine below 0 until dead)
Kwess hurts Green very much with Iaijutsu
Zombies are useless
Sam piledrives Blue into carbon shadow
Harry takes out Red... and the Snake, designates Green
Avariel murders Yellow outright
Green misses Harry with shark
Kwess annihilates Green
Zombies are useless
Sam taunts zombie
Avariel ties zombie up
Kwess gets healed
Zombie is useless
Harry is sympathetic
Zombie flails itself into submission
[Zombie and Ninja Zombie have joined the party]
Amongst the treasure gained, they find a treasure map segment (Land of Carnage Ahoy!) and they get the Yoshitsuna.
MYSTERY ROOM! The Rosen Queen Department Store. So everyone buys a major magic item that will take form when they decide on it before next session. And they filled in the form: More Expensive Items!, More Weapons!, Yes we are interested in the Dark World, One Wish: DESSERT
Skipped to the 50th floor where they found a roper and 16 bugbears. Avariel flasked the roper in one turn, and Kwess and Harry+Sam whirlwinded all of the bugbears to death in one turn. Yeah, another joke/feel good battle.
They then decided to leave at the Innocent Town and sleep+heal.
Then... they skipped to floor 100. There was... THE ITEM GOD.
Orc Samurai 7/Item God 5
20 (24) 20 18 14 16 13
-BAB +10
-F +13 R +11 W +12
-AC 24 (Magic Chain +7 Dex +5 Dodge +2) Flat 17 Touch 15
-HP: 124
-Init +8
-Hammer Time +22/+22/+20 (1d10+14 plus 1d6+10 Sonic +2 Con, 20/x3 Fort vs Daze 1 DC 22)
-Mjolnir! -Gladiator, Conductor, Wounding, Ghost Touch, Haste, See Invisible, Regen 5/Dismemberment
-Kiai! 7/day
-Horde Breaker
-Whirlwind Attack
-Blindfighting
-NO DR APPLIES EVER HAHAHA
-Iaijutsu: AoO as Immediate, HA! (requires Edge)
-Combat School: Thorhammer, Blitz, Danger Sense, Elusive Target, Great Fortitude
Kwess activates Power Metal to boost the party effectiveness
Avariel waits, not wanting to be closest
Sam and Harry charge, deal 103 damage between them
Samurai Kiais Harry, which hurts very much
Kwess charges, gets pre-Counter Kiaied with Iaijutsu and drops to -2, it's Super Effective!
Avariel flies up and attacks, hits once, KO!
Sam dismembers the Samurai good and proper
VICTORYYYYY
So now they have the Mjolnir to use for the guitar. Naturally they transfer the Innocents into Kwess' magic hammer first. So her hammer now has:
Dietician (Con boost)
Gladiator (Str boost)
Dentist (Will vs Fear)
Conductor (Sonic damage)
Murderer (when she hits level 15+, killer weapon)
And that's where we left off. They hit level 12, so are no longer even in the same area code as seriousness.