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"Our Favorite Edition is 2nd Edition..."
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PhoneLobster
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:27 am    Post subject: "Our Favorite Edition is 2nd Edition..." Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Oh hi.

First up. No real names are given in this story to protect the somewhat innocent.

Second up if you are one of the unnamed people mentioned in this story... good lord what on earth are you doing hanging around in THIS place?

Third up, go ahead and skip past this to the second post if you want to get to the really exciting story time, this post is all just boring rambling background fill in.

Anyway I am almost always looking to expand my social circles, and often do so through gaming.

But living where I do most RPG groups are... somewhat fractured, backward, eccentric and isolated. The last ten or fifteen years of advancement in RPG rules and culture have... largely passed them by.

As chance would happen I found myself agreeing to GM for a small D&D group of casual acquaintances on the understanding that at some point I would, good god, possibly get a chance to play as an actual player rather than as GM for a change.

However certain, ah, key individuals in the group were fond of saying how much they "preferred 2nd Edition" which I have come to learn is code for, well, I think you guys know the sort of thing I am talking about...

In The Beginning
And so I ran a game for these guys, their preferred session timing and length was no ideal, but we ran for maybe six? Sessions.

My preferred rules set was 3.5 edition with a smattering of Tome stuff, and heavy use of Races of War in particular and a whole great wedge of my own expansions on that material (to fill in some of the more vast unfilled gaps it left). A far from ideal rules set but a nicer one than core 3.5 and one which I have any amount of digital and printed material for that I share with my various gaming groups.

I make a big deal of being up front and open about the rules changes (and the things that remain unchanged). Documents are always available and I am always keen to explain the function of any rule, house ruled or otherwise. I even have some sheets summarizing what rules are different from the WOTC published material.

Things seemed to go quite well. There were some minor issues. Primarily in that one guy (and his son, who is really either too young or not assertive enough to really engage in the game) seemed to somewhat struggle to grasp the basic function of their characters (which were both knights, I don't know how many times I tried to get them to actually challenge opponents).

But lurking on the boundary of the game that one guy's strangely anti-social wife was um-ing and ah-ing about joining the game.

Yay! A revolution!
So suddenly we are switching out GMs. That-one-guy is gonna run a game for a while. Why? Because his wife has been made sufficiently keen to play by sitting on the sidelines of my games, but... somehow wanted to play a more "old school" style of game, you know, more like 2nd Ed... (and we all know where this is going at that point). And anyway she wanted to continue their old campaign with her old character in their old setting with her husband her old GM...

The rules set of choice now is described as being "Very very core 3.5".

At first I found myself thinking "hm, this is a man daunted by my long and official up front printed list of house rules, little does he know everyone uses quite a lot of house rules..."

But still, "Bonus!" says I to myself. I got into this to play and I am not so fussy I would turn down a nice core rules game. I mean yeah he WILL use SOME house rules, everyone does whether they know it or not. And it's not nearly as nice as if he say adopted wholesale my personal preferred house rules set. But you know, close enough and all...

Little did I realize at the time that possibly one of the reasons that That-one-guy was perhaps somewhat daunted by the rules I was using was because, apparently, he doesn't actually seem altogether familiar with the actual core rules, indeed, it increasingly seems he actually thought a lot of the unchanged rules I was using were in fact house rules of some form...

But how was I to know? He had said some things that had led me to believe otherwise, his favorite character type was wizard, he said he liked using the item creation rules, he constantly went on about how he felt that "heroic characters should have heroic abilities!"

And so the real adventure begins...
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Last edited by PhoneLobster on Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:07 am; edited 1 time in total
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PhoneLobster
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Day One: Venice
AKA : I hate the Economy and the Economy hates me

So the setting is, apparently "very high fantasy not really historical Europe".

It's a common and basic idea, not precisely uncool even if I am not keen on it, and am also not entirely sure how the Roman Empire precisely manages to co-exist with Renaissance era Venice, but whatever.

We are starting at 8th level and myself and someone else were joining the rest of the groups old characters from a long ongoing campaign. Sucks to be joining someone else's ongoing adventures, but hell, whatever.

Snag 1 Seems they like big BIG attributes on PCs. They roll 4d6 drop the lowest, they *ahem* roll high, they then ADD 1d4 more points. No one has under a 12 on anything, everyone has like three 16 plusses. Suddenly I begin to see why That-one-guy seemed mildly dissatisfied when I was running and made him take what I felt was a fairly nice average-to-generous stat line.

It's (apparently) core rules, so I wanna be a wizard. I would LIKE to be a gray elf wizard for the int, but apparently they are all filthy English Celto-Fey savages and I'm not into that sort of kinky shit.

So I say "Screw it. Human, a nice human generalist wizard with some light item creation on the side!"

Which immediately hits... Snag 2. "There ARE no generalist wizards!" Yes, it seems each region or culture is associated with specialist wizards and that is it.

After some discussion of this it becomes clear that A) There is no rhyme or reason to this policy, some specializations aren't actually represented at all, some regions lack associated specialists, and ultimately maybe I can after all be a generalist, but then... I would have to be... *gasp*... (scary music, dum dum dum).... FRENCH!

"Sacrebleu" says I. And I write "French human" on my character sheet, long live the court of the sun king (which WAS apparently the French culture for the setting, until it was destroyed by demons, demons conjured by a bunch of demon conjuring wizards who AREN'T the settings actual conjuration specialists, but are instead generalists or something for some undisclosed reason... no I don't follow it either).

We are starting in Venice, where the party has extensive contacts, a not at all secret hide out and an employer who is about to foist me on the party.

A French employer. A French high level liche employer, an apparent evil French patriot in exile who has been (inexplicably) dicking around with the party since forever despite the fact (which was not yet then apparent) that the party basically exclusively responded to him by means of total incompetence and open verbal abuse.

And yes. A high level invulnerable super powered "fuck you" liche has been dicking with them since like level 1. But thats some of that "old school" we knew was coming...

And also yes. Apparently Liches come from France, which is a Demonic conjuring generalist wizard post appocalypse land. And yes that is liches in the plural since apparently one high level fuck you French liche was not enough and about three games in we have already met ANOTHER ONE.

Reviled Employer Liche "The Man" foists me on the party just to ensure that my character is as well liked as he is. That-One-Guy's somewhat-antisocial-wife plays some form of halfling monk (Yes. A core halfling monk. Yes we are at eighth level. Yes she seems to think she is hot stuff. No I don't know why. Something about here slippers of spider climb she seems obsessed with. Yes I know that doesn't make sense. Yes really, at eighth level)

I will refer to her character as "Sociopathic-Halfing" since that appears to be how she plays it, utterly hostile and offensive to everyone and everything she encounters. Between her, two quiet guys and another newbie this makes for a grating introduction to the party.

Reviled-Employer wades through Sociopathic-Halfling's insults, open threats and foaming flying spittle to give us a job. For a whopping 5000 gp a piece (chump change at this level, what the heck?) he will be employing us to go and raid France for a magic Gem held in a castle of demons. More information will be provided when we approach the goal.

We have six months and (apparently) the trip will take like a week or two tops.

Other Newbie wants to hire a boat. I decide I need to go do some shopping. Everyone else is strangely aimless and confused when confronted with the penetrating question of "Now what?" and so we go ahead with the grand plan of boat-and-barter.

Hang up a bit, it seems I missed out on Snag 0. Back when I made my character I had scribe scroll, craft wand and craft wondrous item. With the explicit assurance that yes, indeed "I would actually be able to get something for that".

But then when it came to gearing up... Snag 0 attacks! Oh no, wealth by level guidelines? Doesn't seem to even know (or care) what I'm talking about. I will get... an entirely arbitrary number of rolls on magic item tables! Here is a run down of what my mighty eighth level item creator gets.

Just Being 8th Level nets me some arbitrary rolls, which if successful lets me roll on standard magic item tables. I get less rolls than non-wizards and non-item creators... I get 1) A Hat Of Disguise (sort of nice, but you know, also dirt cheap), 2) A MIGHTY PEARL OF POWER (level 1). I'm thinking of using it to throw at my enemies. I'm not thinking I will pick it back up lest I end up making an over all loss in actions by doing so. And then 3) A RING OF SHOOTING STARS.

Now go and READ the ring entry. No really. So yeah, it's (officially) worth a freaking fortune. But good god does it suck. The proviso's for use are massive and only one of it's abilities really matters at all. But it is VERY poorly written. Basically it looks like it can do as much as 114 damage to a single target as a single action once a week (outside at night under starlight only). Which is sorta nice, but not really level appropriate. Or it would be if the target didn't get SIX (yes SIX) very easy DC 13 reflex saves to mitigate the effect. The first three of those six saves knock off 36 damage a pop. The next three are only made if the corresponding first save fails and then knock off 12 damage a pop. The most worrying thing is That-One-Guy thinks this item may be too good by any measure other than it's raw monetary value.

Craft Wands nets me a wand of a 2nd level spell and a wand of a 3rd level spell. Apparently I am explicitly not allowed to have crafted a wand of a 4th level spell for myself yet... because you know, an entire level of adventuring while being able to do that is not exactly enough time, or something...

Scribe Scrolls gets put into the too hard basket and is delayed until later. Eventually I end up giving him a list I basically pulled out of my ass (with itemized actual scribing costs to ensure he understands how freaking cheap scrolls are supposed to be) which he ticks off with nary a stray glance, which I know is bad news because I strongly suspect he didn't actually read the note about applied meta magic feats...

Craft Wondrous Items nets me NOTHING for an entire session. Not feeling creative I simply suggested an head band of intellect type item. That-One-Guy didn't even seem to know what that item was. Ultimately he let me make some entirely arbitrary rolls in the next session. Which resulted in my 8th level wizard who had craft wondrous item since third level having ONLY crafted ONE item ever a mighty +1 Intellect item! Yes ONE. Yes I'm level 8. Yes I currently have an even base value on my Int. Yes that item basically doesn't net me ANY mechanical benefit whatsoever.

SO while my companions alternatively twiddle their thumbs or comically fail to deal with reticent ship captains that just plain WON'T take us to France I go shopping. I go to the groups "friendly" go-to contact for magical item sales and purchases they refer me to.

I try to sell a fully charged level 3 wand. See I realize that even with the standard half resale value it's basically worth enough to make a nice 4th level wand.

Reticent store owner who refuses to let me interact with the economy offers me a FRACTION of the value (a small fraction) in store credit. I laugh it off and try to haggle. Reticent store owners response? "Haggle attempt hey? Well now I hate you and will not deal with you at all!". And no, that "haggle attempt" was not some sort of ludicrously failed roll or something, that was just me saying "That price is an insult, offer me a better one".

So I pop down to the lower end magic item store in the markets. You know. The Venetian ones. The greatest markets outside of Constantinople. (assuming the Venetian's haven't robbed Constantinople yet).

The guy THERE won't buy my wand at all because he can't afford it and believes the other guy will basically kill him if he trades in such items.

And thats the ENTIRE magic item buying/selling economy in town. A "smooth" transition between "Fuck me, I can't buy it" and "Fuck you, I won't buy it".

Meanwhile it is also made clear that magic item go to guy has screwed the party thoroughly before on purchases in some undisclosed way and also has the backing of a powerful and unchallengeable super merchant family we dare not cross.

I give up on meaningfully interacting with the economy or using half my feats about the same time the Bard (yes, a bard) gives up on convincing a boat captain to take us to "French Spain".

The plan is now to travel by land! (Yes we are level eight). After a brief realization that total party savings aren't nearly enough for me to whip up a flying carpet worth a dime (assuming I'm even allowed to do that...) we decide on horses!

Bard walked into the game with a horse. The party. The level 8 party. Does not own so much as one mount between them. Background events from "prior adventures" mean there is, apparently, a world wide horse shortage. Also. Buying a horse in Venice seems like a dumb idea in general. I say screw it and end up blowing all my level 1 spells on Mount castings for nearly the entire party each day for the rest of eternity.

Finally the adventure begins!

At the French border Roman Legions stop us. We bullshit a bit and get let through. Not however before I discover that LAST TIME this party went to France (yes prior to level 8) a gigantic orcish horde wiped through northern Italy on their tail in remarkably omniscient vengeance for them daring to do whatever it was they did. This sounds great I think, giant fuck you liches, giant fuck you demons and now a promise of giant fuck you armies in retribution for our tiny gem heist.

We travel into France. Life is easy and uneventful. No one is around.

Those of us who care about scouting and have an actual spot score (me and the new guy only) see a suspiciously functional cottage/inn.

He wants to scout it. So I send my Rat familiar with him.

Let's take this moment to point out that That-One-Guy's wife and his other regular player are somewhat mind blown that I actually chose to take a familiar. Apparently they regard a familiar as nothing but a weakness that the GM will mercilessly slaughter.

Anyway. Here we are. In Demon occupied France. And surprise surprise the inn door is opened by beautiful seductive French maidens who want to give Mr Bard free room and board and a back rub in the bath.

Only it IS a surprise because they aren't Succubi but instead vampire girls. Surprisingly incompetent ones considering they operate in daylight hours, have a house full of wooden furniture and a garden full of garlic. I suspect their cutlery was all +1 silver as well. Still, they ultimately claimed to have been running their unsustainable farming gig for the last four centuries so go figure.

Anyway the vampires not Succubi thing is a a fact I discover when I bomb the entire cottage with a stinking cloud. Handily disabling the Bard, and only the Bard. Still, at least me and my Rat tried to help the guy. The rest of the party was oddly reluctant to volunteer any actual actions at all. Still largely stumped by the continuing nature of the "what now?" question.

The fight was largely a total cluster fuck. Basically everyone turning up late, the bard spending the whole time as the only guy disabled by my spell. And so on. I mean sure I was unscathed and did my bit. The "Cleric" (more on that one later) did alright once he woke up too, everyone else pretty nearly died to the vampires making relatively weak unarmed attacks (yes they run a "kill all travelers" gig for 400 years and don't even have a handy dagger or a rogue level to rub together between them).

All the killed vampires turn to gas and flee with promises to come back and kill us all in five minutes at night fall. Even though that isn't precisely what is supposed to happen when you KO a vampire.

I catch the only vampire we actually stake and disable.

And it is the end of session one.

Check back in a little later for episode two 'Oh No! Trolls in the Troll Closet!".
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Last edited by PhoneLobster on Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Day Six : Vampire Inn, Road to Demonic Republic of France
AKA : Everyone forms a single file line into the Maw Of Death in the Troll Closet.

So the screw you Vampire girls almost all screw you'd into gaseous clouds as some sort of secret free death/disabling action the rules don't actually any longer mention. Though frankly I suspect their DR wasn't being properly administered and the fact they hit 0 HP at all was a miracle, but whatever.

And when they did they promised revenge at dark and threatened us that if we went into their lair their mighty guard thingy would destroy us all.

Yes. A mighty guardian. Yes I immediately thought "great a giant fuck you magic immune golem in a poorly explained fuck you closet". Openly I simply reasoned that these incompetent vampire girls could hardly keep anything in their employ more powerful or intelligent than themselves, and we already kicked their asses even during an incredibly poorly managed cluster fuck.

And of course "fuck you guys it's sunset" was about to hit us possibly with wave two of the vampire girls.

So into the basement we go... only the trap door in the floor goes to an impenetrable stone slab.

Let's just consider this for a second. These garlic garden owning vampire girls with their house full of French windows and wooden furniture have a secret basement lair. But they advertise it's presence WITH A FAKE TRAP DOOR IN THE FLOOR. WHY IS THAT EVEN THERE it hides nothing, it only advertises that there might be something below, and the giant impenetrable fuck you stone slab? What's all that about? AAAAAH.

The only entry into the troll closet is a very small dumb waiter shaft plumetting into obvious closet troll territory. Yes. There is clearly some sort of irony in it being a dumb waiter, no I'm not sure of the exact mechanics of that irony.

At this point I'm ready to leave and go on our important French Gem liberation mission, after all, a small amount of pocket change IS on the line. BUT those dang fool vampire girls let slip about having 400 years worth of treasure lying around on the floor of their troll closet or something of the sort (how damn incompetent are they?) and so lets face it, the party was going nowhere but DOWN.

Oh sure, I had a plan, a plan where we double bluff ambushed the returning incompetent vampires using my hat of disguise to pretend one of us was the vampire we pinned and then removing the troll closet boss encounter BEFORE entering the troll closet. And sure I had plans where we tried to do this sensibly in SOME way.

But in the end non of them passed the "anything other than a dumb look of incomprehension" test with 50% of the party so I simply suggested we drop the Sociopathic-Halfling down the shaft and charitably offered to send my Rat with her for moral support.

She didn't wanna. Except she did exactly that anyway, but only after the Bard of all people went first. Before we got so much as a report back from the Rat the Cleric/Archivist/Barbarian who was briefly a werewolf and had non-standard involuntary rage mechanics and...

...wait a second. Yes the party cleric was ACTUALLY an Archivist who casts cleric spells, had levels of barbarian and at some point was a were-wolf. There is some sort of weird involuntary rage bullshit I have yet to pin down the particulars of, but which I strongly suspect they THINK are the core barbarian rage rules. Yes this is apparently a "Very Very Core Game". And hell no there isn't a chance in hell they used the proper LA and ECL rules for this guy. I bet you odds to bobs that if I even mentioned "LA and ECL" they would look at me like I was a space alien...

ANYWAY, without so much as a report back Archival-Conan-Wolfboy hops down the barely shoulder wide shaft as well.

Leaving me at the top twiddling my thumbs with no company other than a staked incompetent vampire girl shoved into a cabinet and my faithful but usually quiet and non assertive companion "Some-Sort-Of-Dwarf-Fighter-Who-Seems-To-Have-Lost-His-Character-Sheet".

Rat reports back "Everyone has arrived, In troll closet, giant fuck you closet Golem immediately in front of us".

I communicate my suggested tactics to the lead members of the party (which I remind you are a Bard (focused on healing spells A small Monk and an oddly gimped Barbarian/Archivist) by the only means I can. Having my rat pointedly hop off their shoulders, wave for attention then climb back up the shaft and leave.

They interpret this as the go ahead to walk single file down the five foot wide death tunnel into the maw of the killer closet golem.

Now. The golem is a "Slaughterstone Eviscerator". That-One-Guy is a fan of the D&D miniatures game and apparently likes the more obscure versions of standard fuck you monsters.

It is only a moderately serious fuck you of a closet troll, but it WAS in it's fuck you closet and more importantly this thing is CR 12. The party is two members down and consists again, I remind you, of Bard, Small-Monk and Not-Full-Caster, who between them lacked the ability to get through the thing's DR.

Fortunately it does not attack. UNTIL the bard casts a spell. See ONE SESSION after I had been mildly effective using magic the very next encounter was a giant fuck you SR, resistance, and immunity golem, in a closet, programmed to spring into action and attack the first thing to cast a spell in it's presence. Yeah... very "2nd Edition Style".

Then things start getting weird. The GM is trying to low ball the encounter with last minute messing about. He knows the guys down there are doomed otherwise. The bard does the only remotely effective thing he can and casts Grease. But the GM rapidly makes it pretty clear he has no idea how to properly adjudicate the Grease spell at all and lacks the willingness to look it up.

Now the golem probably shouldn't fit in that tunnel at all. Except that it can thanks to a special ability. But the GM rules that the special ability lets it fit in there but causes combat penalties even though the special ability explicitly exists to negate combat penalties for confined spaces. He largely makes this ruling because he has no idea what the monsters ten foot reach even means when I ask "so what's that all about" when the party doesn't seem to interact with the AoO rules properly.

The GM hacks the monsters stats down like a mad man. No mere couple of hit die cut off here. He about halves it's AC, knocks off 30% of its HP, halves its attack bonus and entirely removes the bonus damage from it's attacks ENTIRELY (base dice only!) and then either halves or ignores all its DR's Resistances or immunities (or just doesn't know they exist). Similarly it seems to lose or cripple most of its special attacks and qualities.

But that isn't enough. Clericbarian is holding back buffing up. Sociopathic-Halfling is using Bard as a meat shield. Bard is largely just casting CLWs on himself and not profiting on hit points (at all). And lets not even get into the AoOs, Defensive Casting and Reach, I'm not sure the GM had any idea those things even exist.

So the GM pulls the ultimate lowball. Clericarian divines through his complimentary free knowledge(fuck you) check that the golem has a special bullshit control device. Hanging precariously from a small hook on it's underside. Now let's take the time to note that this is an entirely bullshit control item clearly pulled out of the GMs ass.

Which is fitting because the manner in which the party spent the next four rounds struggling to grab that item ALSO came entirely out of the GMs ass rather than having altogether much of anything to do with the ACTUAL mechanics for moving into enemy squares, grappling or disarming items.

During this encounter I also learned specifically that the GM and the small monk had no idea how tumble worked and the small monk at level 8 no less lacked a sufficient tumble bonus to effectively do anything much reliable with tumble anyway. Which makes one wonder what the small monk is other than a vehicle for going on about the amazing might of her slippers of spider climb.

Still they get the crown like control device, take control of the only barely dented nerf golem, catch the vampires sleeping, and take the 400 years of loot.

Meanwhile I had disguised myself as the staked vampire using my magic hat and convinced the Dwarf-With-No-Character Sheet to accompany me in "running the hell away from this cluster fuck". Which we did.

Did we miss out on anything? Not really sure the party got a nerf golem, but really the amount of low balling used to save the party brought it down to about the effectiveness of MAYBE a fourth or fifth level barbarian. Also worth mentioning is that the control device had an annoying "fuck you dwarves only" limitation. Which the Bard briefly circumvented, but which caused mild brain damage to Sociopathic-Halfling just to ensure the cluster fuck troll closet fight went even longer and was more likely to end up being a cluster fuck. It is also worth mentioning that the golem has the odd official built in fuck you of being made out of x4 Adamantium greats words but not letting you ever or in any way rip them back off it's shattered corpse and use them as actual adamantium great swords. Yeah. Nice. Thank you for that one MMIII.

And sure the party took 400 years worth of loot. My suspicion was that the vampire girls, being as incompetent as they were, only had a pile of 400 years worth of stolen men's underwear, or maybe at a stretch an extensive collection of +1 silver vampire slaying table cutlery (in keeping with their general decorating theme for their entire operation of "things that hurt and kill vampires").

But as it turned out 400 years of loot was in fact about enough stuff too MAYBE make a 2nd level party mildly excited. One "featured" item was a single use ball of grease that would magically heal the 100 HP slaughterstone golem a whole 1d20 HP. Yeah. That's right. 1d20. Once ever. Yeah.

Unmotivated waiting around and metagaming brought the party back together about two days later, though really I was keep for the Dwarf-With-No-Character-Sheet and I to just go get the job done.

But good thing I came back because apparently they needed me to identify their two very low level magical items they found which were so unremarkable I forget what they even were.

Slightly damaged Nerf Golem in tow we hit the road and head deeper into France.

It is worth noting that elements of the party wanted to leave the Nerf Golem Behind. For, well, no apparent reason at all. Eventually we just gave the control device to Dwarf-With-No-CharacterSheet with the promise that we would at least sell the damn thing or something rather than just leave it lying around for someone to trip over.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Day Eight : Middle Of Nowhere, Somewhere in France
AKA : Diplomacy is a sign of weakness, and so is a Spot and Listen
Apparently if traveling West from border of the Roman Empire in northern Italy into demon occupied France along the main high way what you encounter geography wise goes like this.

Roman Legion Border Fort -> Lots of Nothing -> Incompetent 400 year old Vampire Inn -> Small amount of Nothing -> A hill -> More Nothing -> Demon Fortress outside of Marcelies -> Marcelies.

We were at A Hill.

My Wizard and the Bard, having actual Spot scores saw an Orc on the hill. The orc ran away.

The dreaded "What Now?" question again made itself known among the players. To which Dwarf-With-No-Charactersheet said "..." and Sociopathic-Halfling and the Barbaromancer declared "Orc? Who cares, we plod methodically eastward like nothing happened and say screw you to the universe at large."

My Wizard and the Bard promptly decided that whatever was waiting over that hill it would be probably best if WE dealt with it so we gave chase to the Orc using our superior speed on our horses.

The orc got rather lucky and barely outpaced us over the hill. But frankly at this point I am fairly sure that it WASN'T luck, or the result of the application of arbitrarily chosen distances interacting with fixed horse speeds, but rather another screw you decision where by that orc was ALWAYS going to fudge it's save and get away.

Bard and I had a very brief discussion of whether we should head back to the methodically plodding party or crest the hill. The GM declared to us that he could "officially assure us out of game that it wasn't an army over the hill". Me and the Bard decided that really all in all we were probably better off dealing with the Army that "wasn't" over the hill by ourselves.

We went over the hill.

There was an army. "over a 100" of "unusually well organized orcs", with crossbows.

As it turns out orcs in this setting are some sort of retardedly typical stereotype. You know, very "games workshop" very "we is retards, we is want to eat bard for no reason". Even the "unusually well organized" ones.

Now frankly, I could have probably killed them all. I've got an eight level wizard. I have single spells that would pretty much do it. But it's late the session is running long, and frankly I don't want to GUESS what sort of exciting new imaginary rules I might interact with during an initiative contest with 100 orcs. Even if it was close to core well, I don't want to be in that gamble.

So me and the Bard went for diplomacy. I hat of disguised as an orcish sorcerer, he did his song and dance routine. They took him captive and threatened to eat him if I didn't stop the advance of the giant dwarf built orc killing golem headed their way.

I felt their demands seemed reasonable and rode to inform the party.

Party said no.

Or more accurately. "We don't care, come rain or shine, or orcs, or dead bards we will methodically plod eastwards and nothing shall change that."

I said "Black Tentacles" and entangled the Golem.

Sociopathic-Halfling said "wait how the hell does this grapple thing you speak of work, and what is 'escape artist' ". Then escaped because I was tired and forgot to add half my grapple check.

Barbaromancer said "What do you mean grapple, concentration checks and spell casting limitations? Let's just skip all that and roll the easy bit. Dispel magic, look, it succeeded!"

Fortunately the Orcish Cheiftan came over and helped negotiate some form of agreement between the party and itself. Probably because the GM also realized it was late.

Then we struck a deal with the orcs who suddenly wanted to rescue their kidnapped children from the same demons we wanted to rob. They apparently knew the enemy had (inexplicable) hill giant gate guards and felt that the nerf golem would "chew right through them". Though I can't imagine what gave them that idea...

And on we traveled, the orcs didn't even eat the Bard, though they kept on fucking going on about it like a bunch of annoying caricatures.
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Lago PARANOIA
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Joined: 25 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

PhoneLobster wrote:
As chance would happen I found myself agreeing to GM for a small D&D group of casual acquaintances on the understanding that at some point I would, good god, possibly get a chance to play as an actual player rather than as GM for a change.


Noble Woman

Quote:

Reviled Employer Liche "The Man" foists me on the party just to ensure that my character is as well liked as he is. That-One-Guy's somewhat-antisocial-wife plays some form of halfling monk (Yes. A core halfling monk. Yes we are at eighth level. Yes she seems to think she is hot stuff. No I don't know why.


http://www.tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=50454

You know, come to think about it nearly every monk seems to have that problem. Hatin' Even yours truly. Being peed on in front of a crowd after being cold-cocked with one hit tends to cure you of it pretty fast though.
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Josh Kablack wrote:
Your freedom to make rulings up on the fly is in direct conflict with my freedom to interact with an internally consistent narrative. Your freedom to run/play a game without needing to understand a complex rule system is in direct conflict with my freedom to play a character whose abilities and flaws function as I intended within that ruleset. Your freedom to add and change rules in the middle of the game is in direct conflict with my ability to understand that rules system before I decided whether or not to join your game.

In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.


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Koumei
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

PhoneLobster wrote:
I bet you odds to bobs that if I even mentioned "LA and ECL" they would look at me like I was a space alien...


This is the only bit that makes sense to me. As with most "We like 2E" groups, the Gygax "Fuck you" groups, they don't really know what rules are. But the LA and ECL rules are so bad that I would stare at people like they were aliens if they suggested it.
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CatharzGodfoot
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List


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The law in its majestic equality forbids the rich as well as the poor from stealing bread, begging and sleeping under bridges.
-Anatole France

Mount Flamethrower on rear
Drive in reverse
Win Game.

-Josh Kablack
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Prak
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

PL, whatever disagreements or problems I've had with you in the past are forgotten, because that shit is something no one should ever have to go through... jesus, I thought my HS friends were bad at running....
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Dean, on Paranoia wrote:
The book is a hardbound liars paradox.


Winnah wrote:
No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.


FrankTrollman wrote:
In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Lago PARANOIA
Invincible Overlord


Joined: 25 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Nothing makes me want to slit more than when the DM has to blatantly lowball. I mean, even though I hate that sort of cheating it's sometimes preferable to having to roll up new characters or pack up and go home for the time.

But to that extent? I'd rather the DM just TPK us. And then have the golem pee on the corpses. It's the only way they'll learn. Kinda Cool
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Josh Kablack wrote:
Your freedom to make rulings up on the fly is in direct conflict with my freedom to interact with an internally consistent narrative. Your freedom to run/play a game without needing to understand a complex rule system is in direct conflict with my freedom to play a character whose abilities and flaws function as I intended within that ruleset. Your freedom to add and change rules in the middle of the game is in direct conflict with my ability to understand that rules system before I decided whether or not to join your game.

In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.
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PhoneLobster
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 4:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Day 10 : A run down garden outside a demonic Manor, somewhere in France
AKA : Out of combat time is bullshit backwards time

A few days prior to arrival at the demon manor/castle/fortress thing we were given precious bloody little information on. We saw a winged dude see us and run away. Clearly we thought a demonic scout. We were rumbled.

In retrospect that appears to have been ENTIRELY not the case and the whole demonic scout incident can now be put down as an incidental UFO sighting.

But regardless we are about to hit the Demon Castle/Mansion we were told about. We have "over a hundred well organized orcs with crossbows" a nerf golem, and the amazing intel of "they have two hill giants on guard duty at the gate at all times". We have been told by Reviled-Employer that the site is a demonic stronghold, and the orcs tell us their kids are in there somewhere being sacrificed to an evil Gem.

So it's time to plan for the assault the dreaded "What Now?" question is floated. I suggest several ways we could do things. 1) CHARGE! 2) Sneaky people infiltrate, then everyone else yells CHARGE! 3) Charmy people charm the giants, then everyone else, and the giants, yell CHARGE!

The general consensus among the less sociable part of the party is not the expected "Charge!" but rather "Uh, What?". It seems once again the mere existence of the concept of an option about how we could deal with things is itself a strange and alien idea. (But then considering what we ultimately discovered and what I suspected to have been intended for us, well... the whole "what the hell there are no options" approach is probably a reasonably accurate one).

Once again me and the Bard went ahead with our preferred plan of being the front men for everything and did so once again on the sheer authority of being the only guys actually capable of making a clear and concise decision and declaring it to the DM.

We will travel ahead of the group, the group will travel ahead of the orcs. We will fast talk the gate guards and throw down some charms and such to disable them or turn them to our side with minimal fuss. It's a risky plan but it's ANY plan so hey, whatever.

Bard gets out the PH, looks up his bardic music abilities. Now... I myself am not especially familiar with those these days, I don't ALLOW core Bards for... many... good reasons. But I suspect there were aspects of the bardic music attack here that were perhaps inaccurate, like say, the use of bongo drums to first fascinate then suggest the hill giants into sleep.

But hey, it put a whole four hill giants to sleep for us. I charmed one then we murderized the others. The orcs arrived along with whatever straggler party members didn't either accompany me and the bard or sneak around the distant edges waiting to observe the terrible downfall they keep insisting me and the bard are doomed to face.

About a mile or more away from the garden gates at the front door of the house (yeah, and the garden is all just crappy junk filled wasteland too) bam! The doors open and a dapper old man and 4 hot sexy French maids jump out.

DEMONS! Says I, and drop a simple obscuring mist on all and sundry. Dapper old man spends some time talking to the not very well hidden Sociopathic-Halfling sneaking around the garden well out of range of my not at all suspicious perfectly natural and rather talkative ground level cloud.

While Sociopathic-Halfling refused to come out of "hiding" and had an argument about it with daper man myself, bard and barbaromancer all buffed up the ying yang. Also we wake up the charmed giant and lie to it a bunch.

Until Dapper Man decided it was time to dispel my cloud with his dispelling walking stick. Yes that's right, ONE game after the DM saw a dispel act rather effectively against my Black Tentacles spell we immediately encounter a guy with a staff of Dispel spamming.

Only his dispel doesn't go off. So he tries it again, and again, and wait, this time it worked.

Bard says "Charm Person!" and it works, suggesting the guy is not so much a demon as a filthy demon sympathizer. Only despite the charm the bastard proceeds to abuse me for "daring to cast spells in his presence and by jove if I do so he shall challenge me to a magical duel and..."

And I said "Magical Duel?"

And he said "Magical Duel!"

And I said " Black Tentacles!"

And he said "Wait, what... AAAAAARGH!" Then he dispel spammed it and got lucky.

Then I said "He killed you friends for sleeping on the job!" and charmed giant said "HULK SMASH".

I got the honor of rolling for the giant's attacks. And for reasons of unexplained and undescribed positioning I don't entirely follow the giant got a full attack routine on the entirely unbuffed Dapper Old Demon Wizard guy.

I rolled two natural twenties that confirmed as criticals and another hit.

The wizard, the tenth level fuck you wizard we were not meant to kill was handily squished to death instantaneously. I then defied anyone to tell me that my giant smash attack was the result of anything other than my mighty magical powers and declared myself the victor.

The hot young French maids all ran away into the house and locked the door.

There was a brief discussion of what to do next. I questioned our new giant buddy about orcish children, and being played as a cannibalistic retard it could barely remember finding some lying around and eating them.

I followed it's directions around the side of the house to some big spooky doors. Spooky doors that apparently, we are told, kill giants in some way shape or form.

The rest of the party also followed, but not all at once, just you know, over a series of separate arrivals as they generally felt like it.

Similarly our "well organized orcs" with their strong motivation of "charge in and rescue the kids!" proceeded to suffer from a loss of general purpose and discipline and just wandered all the fuck over the place in randomly sized groups.

Then the hot French girls attacked us from a second story using wands. A wand of finger of death no less Hill giant rolls a 1 on his save and promptly takes his poorly remembered and possibly entirely hallucinated secrets about orcish children to his grave.

At this point the bard makes the INCREDIBLE error of asking the GM if the duration of his blur spell was over. The GM of course said "oh yeah that ended ages ago".

I suspect the expression on my face alone was enough to grind the game to a screeching halt. Wait I say, he cast the spell, about 2 combat rounds passed, then we exchanged a few sentences of dialogue and walked around the side of the house and the 80 round duration spell ended "ages ago".

Oh that's just "Out Of Combat Time" says the GM. To which I say "what, What, WHAT?" I mean when were we out of combat? And really what the hell mechanic out of nowhere in this "very very core" game is "Out Of Combat Time" and it's mysterious temporal effects on spell durations? And really what the hell aren't ROUNDS per level spells the ones that end fast, what the hell is the point of the minutes per level duration category if it ends just as fast (or faster!)?

The issue was left to slide with Blur having ended, but I for one quietly left all my minute per level effects running because seriously fuck that shit. And that's the moral of the story kids. Adjudicate your own durations and tick them off quietly and accurately according to the agreed upon official rules. Remember it's JUST helping the GM by reducing his workload, and quietly ensuring he doesn't totally fucking screw you.

Anyway. So I dropped a fly on the also quietly still buffed up Barbaromancer, and he flew into the 2nd story window vanishing from sight.

The three girls up there promptly threw a Finger of Death and two fire balls at him. And he said... he said... "I use my shield of spell turning..."

...

This is a party that doesn't even seem to have a silver, much less a magical weapon to rub together between them at level 8 and this guy is quietly walking around with a shield of spell turning he has just quietly had since forever?

And, he doesn't ACTUALLY know how it works yet either, so we look it up and ultimately finger of death girl deatherizes herself to deathness. Sociopathic-Halfing, seeing an opportunity to go on and on about her slippers of spider climb hops up to join in. The girls with the FINGER OF DEATH wand are apparently only LEVEL ONE WIZARDS! They just have this crazy shit because you know... the usual...

Sociopathic-Halfling does little of any good for the party, she grabs a wand... AND IT IMMEDIATELY DAMAGES HER.

...yeah...

Because if anyone NOT related to these girlies grabs these particular wands the wands attack em (in some weird bullshit way)! Because you know... the usual...

She tosses the wand to Barbaromancer, who despite having every reason in the world to be able to use it CAN'T USE IT because only people related to the girlies can use it!

They just beat the girls to a pulp and stick the wands in a bag without touching them. Score some nice wands with some relatively circumventable screw you's painted all over them thinks I. And presumably our UMD Bard as well who wisely feels entitled to getting that finger of death wand at the first opportunity.

Meanwhile nerf golem is set to destroy the spooky doors, because we figure he can adamantium burrow through anything and is either immune to any door defenses or else is entirely disposable. There is a brief moment where the GM tries to suggest the doors are impregnable, to which I ask "Oooh are they made out of Adamantium?" and to which he puts in sufficient thought to say "no, you break through after a while". Curses thinks I, we nearly scored some giant slabs of adamantium three times more useful than our nerf-o-golem with its official no-adamantium-great-sword-refund-policy.

The doors are destroyed and... Bard and Dwarf-With-No-Name go back around the front doors of the mansion to continue their door murdering spree.

Left on my own with a fly spell on myself (the second story guys never actually reported they had won their fight, a quick shout out the window being beyond their capacity for consideration, so I had of course decided to go save their asses... needlessly wasting a fly scroll... thanks guys...).

It was just me, a dead giant and about 40 or so of the randomly wandering "well organized" orcs. I said to the orcs (predicting their response), "well looks like your kids are probably in that there basement."

Being "well organized" they all shouted "Charge!" and ran inside without so much as gathering the other "well organized" orcs from their random garden ramble.

Instinctively knowing that I was walking into ANOTHER troll closet murder corridor I followed behind the orcs as they set off a series of traps that destroyed basically all of them. What a freaking waste of orc thinks I.

MEANWHILE. The split party exploring the entirely wrong fucking levels of the mansion for French antiques or something... encounter invisible giggling (which begs the question not so much "eek invisible things?" but more "what's so damn funny?") and then end up getting rounded up and bullshit fuck you railroad captured by a spooky man servant spamming some sort of debilitating effect.

Deep in the basement I pass the last of the orcs running from a fear effect. Some sort of god damn bug demon turns up and fear effects me too without so much as a wave hello so I can see it's face and I am off course on foot from my fly spell compelled to run away at my fastest speed. That being ground speed.

Now a fleeing wizard on foot is actually pretty damn fast so I am a good mile+ away at the fence line of the garden (apparently not having met any random rambling orcs of the 60+ remainder we were supposed to have out there... ).

And yet spooky man servant must have had some real running shoes on because he was right fucking on my tail. Hi he says, I'm a god damn revenant. (why the hell a revenge obsessed undead is working as a man servant in any capacity, let alone a demon mansion is beyond me. I can only assume he is screwing the masters wife on a regular basis, you know, when he isn't screwing every adventurer around).

Then the revenant says "hold person" and I fail my save.

Que serious confusion as I say "well I make my next save on the following round and... "

The GM of course is "WTF?" and tries looking up hold person in his 3.0 PH. Which is annoying since we are all officially playing 3.5. I point out the differences after some discussion he decides he prefers the 3.0 version, largely because otherwise he can't pull his fuck you railroad kidnapping on me.

In all seriousness looking for some tactical information about my enemies I point out hey, I'm a wizard, I have spellcraft out the yin-yang I intend to count down the duration of this hold person effect on me to try and get some clear idea of the probable spell caster level of the caster.

The GM finds this little more than amusing and treats it like I'm just joking. I have no idea why.

Revenant-Man-Servant takes the time out of his day of vengefully pissing in the masters daily breakfast of cornflakes to pick me up and carry me to the mansion, all casual like.

The mansion over a mile away. While I am under the effect of a rounds per level spell. On foot. Slowly. And when I arrive for the fuck you railroad event we had all been forcefully dragged into the effect was STILL going for some significant amount of conversation time!

To which I said "WTF?" and to which the GM responded...

"Oh that's just the "out of combat time" thing again"

To which I said "WTF?"

Followed by "WTF? Look, so out of combat time makes minutes per level spells run significantly shorter... but makes shorter rounds per level spells run significantly LONGER? Again... WTF?"

To which the response is "Er... oops?" though by now really I'm thinking that out of combat time here is REALLY "screw you" time.

And then we meet giant fuck you high level railroad Liche number two.

It seems Number 2 lives in this mansion with his family and quietly vengeful revenant retainers. Despite the whole "post demon apocalypse" thing. The 10th level wizard we unexpectedly killed was his wet behind the ears son, the girls were his granddaughters and the invisible giggler is his kinky invisible wife (who I choose to believe is a super high level fuck you obscure flavor of invisible banshee from MM nine-million or something).

For a well nigh godlike master of undeath he seems oddly offended by the deaths of his living family members, though really it seems to me for a 10th level necromancer wizard death is a learning experience that has been put off far too long already so I was only doing him a favor.

Eventually Number 2 demands his sons dispell spamming stick back. (VERY annoyingly Sociopathic-Halfling has already volunteered and given up the bag of fuck you wands including the finger of death wand, on the meta game justification that clearly such powerful items were not meant for the likes of us, but rather only for first level fucking NPCs. The UMD using Bard nearly cried, I swear.)

Finally having had the duration of the Bullshit Person spell end instead of handing over the stick I immediately demand his son's spell book by right of victory in an official spell duel. "You all saw it! I dare anyone to tell me I didn't win fair and square!"

This distracts him long enough to forget about the dispell spamming staff which I quietly pocket. But screw it, I want that spell book and push for it.

The GM tries to cover his ass and deny me access to an enemy spell book, apparently Barbaromancer informs me the GM has a bit of a thing about preventing access to any captured spellbooks like EVER, thus somewhat gimping him as an Archivist, a class which apparently gives a damn.

So Number 2 makes some bullshit claim that he won't give the spell book up because it is "THE family spell book". I said "bullshit he is a tenth level wizard he not only has his own spellbook he has a spare copy, or three. ".

Number 2 agrees to hand over the spell book IF we clear out the demons living in the basement.

At some point here, in part while I was handily held paralyzed by sheer old school bullshit, we had determined the following.

1) Contrary to Reviled-Employer's information this house was an undead lair. The demons are just sub letting the basement.
2) The basement with the heavily trapped entry to keep people out and demons in and...

"STOP!" I say right there. "That heavily trapped entrance, do those traps refresh themselves or something, I mean if someone say disarmed all the traps with 40 orcs or something would that mean that insect demon is peeking in at us from the window RIGHT NOW!!!!!?"

Number 2 and the GM take more than a few minutes and about two or three run overs of the question before they either understand it or deign to answer, the answer being "Of course not, the demon won't come out, it is held in its demon closet by some form of magical railroad or something..."

So back to the discovery list.

3) Number 2 and Reviled-Employer are OLD COLLEGE BUDDIES (or something, I dunno). 10 years ago there were either 20-50 of these guys when France fell to the demons and now Number 2 hates Reviled-Employer because reviled employer DARED to abandon France, working to liberate it from abroad. Apparently the patriotic thing to do is stay where you were, let your garden go to shit and sub let the basement to the demon oppressors.

4) Number 2 knows nothing about this whole kidnapping orcish children thing and frankly it seems that is not so much a "stunning twist" in the making and more a complete oversight by the GM. But somehow the Demons that won't leave their demon closet get kidnapped orchish children delivered straight to their cellar door or something, I suspect they order them over the Infernalnet.

5) Number 2 knows all about the mysterious crystal (did I mention during all my subterranean adventures my locate object spell did not detect this stupid thing like at all, it must have bullshit censor jamming radiation, I suspect it's Tachyons, those little bullshit bastards. He thinks it is somehow HILARIOUS that his hated former associate Reviled-Employer wants to have it. Apparently he thinks it will trigger some sort of apocalyptic explosion or event, maybe even ANOTHER demon invasion. But at this point I'm pretty much ready to let Venice burn for a measily 5000gp. I mean I fucking hate that town and all it's bullshit "I won't trade with the likes of you" merchant classes.

6) In addition to all the bullshit fuck you wands and items that only NPCs are allowed to have Number 2 is ALSO responsible for casting Imbue Spell Like Ability spells to give his Revenant man servant hold person (i would be worried the man servant would be sneakingly using imbued spells for you know MORE REVENGE). This is especially hilarious for a number of reasons. Imbue spell like ability is a fairly sucky spell. The liche is officially a wizard and that AND the low enough level hold person spell to be used with that are god damn CLERIC spells, and this GM has ALREADY been screwing the archivist three ways side ways on the whole divine/arcane spell divide but hey, bullshit high level liche number 2 can just fuzzy up that line off screen as much as he likes...

SO that leaves us waiting for next week. The current arrangement being we stay the night at Number 2s house then raid his subterranean monster closet in the morning (seriously does EVERY house in France have a bullshit subterranean monster closet? I mean so far from what I've seen it is 2 for 2).

The orcs don't seem to have been invited. But I guess they just gave up and went home, I mean it's not like they were here for an important reason or anything...

My plan initially was we raid the basement, hit level 9, I learn teleport, I teleport the gem back to Venice, get the cash, and stand outside that fucking magic item merchant's shop and point and laugh while Venice burns to the ground. Then I declare we are teleporting again and "going back to Constantinople". And If he questions that I will say "you mean... you can't go back to Constantinople, oh no you can't go back to...etc..."

But that plan is in a shambles! Level 9 while initially offered has been temporarily withdrawn! A new GM switch out is in the works and Bard will be running a brief adventure arch of some kind! Who knows what is in store? Will Demon Closet Raid be HILARIOUSLY STUPID? Will Bard's adventure arc be better? Does the current GM realize the dispell spamming staff I still have is probably a staff of abjuration and has god knows how many charges of Dismissal left on it?

The answer to those questions and more some time after the next game session. Though really who am I kidding at least half those answers are most probably "fuck you".
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Phonelobster's Self Proclaimed Greatest Hits Collection : (no really, they are awesome)
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Last edited by PhoneLobster on Thu Sep 16, 2010 4:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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Prak
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

you must be seriously hard up for a game if you're sticking with that farce.
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Dean, on Paranoia wrote:
The book is a hardbound liars paradox.


Winnah wrote:
No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.


FrankTrollman wrote:
In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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PhoneLobster
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Prak_Anima wrote:
you must be seriously hard up for a game if you're sticking with that farce.


I have run more games than I can even begin to estimate over the last 15 years, and run for a number of players I hesitate to even guess at.

And I'll be damned if I don't do it pretty damn well by now, and a hell of a lot better than... well... almost every other GM I have actually encountered in person.

But there IS a distinct shortage of GMs and a lack of an actual pan group regional community.

So I have PLAYED in no more than six distinct campaigns or so and many of those were seriously single sitting dealios or similar.

And the REALLY bad news? As bad as the group in THIS story is they are not (yet) the WORST group I have played with. And in addition there have been one or two groups I have pointedly opted NOT to play with who I have observed to be even worse than that again.

Right now I might just have the chance of joining a group who might well be playing the Firefly RPG. The fucking god damn Firefly RPG... THOSE guys have been saying some pretty scary stuff...
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Prak
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

from what I've seen/heard, as bad as the Firefly rpg is, it's mechanical stuff. If you can force yourself to ignore the mechanical stupidity, it can be fun.

Admittedly this is one of those "with the right group" things, like Rifts, but....
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Dean, on Paranoia wrote:
The book is a hardbound liars paradox.


Winnah wrote:
No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.


FrankTrollman wrote:
In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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PhoneLobster
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Their plan to avoid those mechanical problems is... that rules don't matter and they don't like to focus on them and the GM trusts his players to not min max and be rules lawyers.

Yeah. That's gonna work out real good.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

....well, space always looked like a good place for a magical tea party. I recommend spending all your time screwing whatever hot chicks there may be, in game or out, so the mechanics barely even matter.
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Dean, on Paranoia wrote:
The book is a hardbound liars paradox.


Winnah wrote:
No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.


FrankTrollman wrote:
In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Maxus
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

The Bard seems more savvy than the DM and the halfling. He'd almost have to be.

It may improve some.
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He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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PhoneLobster
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Prak_Anima wrote:
I recommend spending all your time screwing whatever hot chicks

Hahaha... hot chicks in the local RPG community?

I'm afraid that there basically AREN'T ANY. The largest concentration of female gamers (period, hot or not) has always been in the groups I ran and they, like pretty much everyone else keep migrating to other states and countries to escape the crushing regional unemployment.

Just as we missed the whole "hey maybe the rules of the game are actually good for the game, being you know, THE GAME" boat we also missed much of the modernizing introduction of women into gaming boat as well.

I mean hey I did my bit bringing women into the hobby, keeping them in the hobby, and ensuring they had a good time.

Everyone else locally, well, you're lucky if they aren't still a "girls get str penalties and cha bonuses! hur hur hur!" troglodytes.
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Prak
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

might I suggest that you then follow past players' examples and move out of what I can only assume is a portal to the most unpleasant buddhist hell imaginable?
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Dean, on Paranoia wrote:
The book is a hardbound liars paradox.


Winnah wrote:
No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.


FrankTrollman wrote:
In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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PhoneLobster
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I'm a farmer of sorts. The farm is somewhat immobile.
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virgil
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

PhoneLobster wrote:
Prak_Anima wrote:
you must be seriously hard up for a game if you're sticking with that farce.


I have run more games than I can even begin to estimate over the last 15 years, and run for a number of players I hesitate to even guess at.
I'm totally going to have to back up PhoneLobster on this. I've been DMing for about as long and the group I constantly gripe about is the only group where I was the player; and that's only been for two campaigns so far. I can't vouch for bringing/keeping women into the hobby like PL though, except for my sister.
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Put a greatsword a maul and a greataxe in a room and ask them to take their pick
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TOZ
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

This game is full of nougat and fuck.
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Prak
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I've brought three women into the hobby. None of them are fuck-prospects for me at the moment, but one of them may be single at the moment (it's hard to keep track). Good luck with her.

Anyway, yeah, I know the "only game in town" situation. It's why I've played Rifts and Werewolf (except they were, you know, fun). On the other hand, I stopped playing the only active D&D game when my friend DM said "Rogues don't get sneak attack for flanking." "Let's rotate DM-duties (of a single story)" didn't help his case, either.
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Dean, on Paranoia wrote:
The book is a hardbound liars paradox.


Winnah wrote:
No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.


FrankTrollman wrote:
In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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violence in the media
Duke


Joined: 06 Jan 2009
Posts: 1627

PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

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This is now how I imagine PL.
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Josh_Kablack
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Wow.

I have two pieces of advice for you:

1. If you are going to continue in this, drop your expectations of a rational or consistent game world.
2. Booze will help with #1
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mean_liar
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

These clusterfuck game reports are always good reading. Thanks for sharing, PL.

I actually kind of like games like this (heavy reliance on bullshit mechanics) because when I play in them I feel like it gives me total carte blanche, and the rest of the campaign becomes about my unstoppable climb to glory and power. After all, you can bullshit a bullshitter, but not a rules lawyer. I usually get bored... eventually... sometimes. Smile
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