The Gaming Den

I was poking through Koumei's Large-sized PrCs (the one with the Ogre Mage, Big Nob, and Meteor Ninja, here: http://www.tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=48 ... c&start=25) and realized an oddity in Big Nob, when stacked together with everything you can find on the Den.

First off, be an Aasimar Marshall. ( http://www.tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=24343 )

Take Large Size. Congratulations, you now qualify for Big Nob. But hold off until level 11 to jump into that. Next level, take the Huge Size feat.

Big Nob will increase your size category twice over ten levels. You're now playing a Colossal-sized warrior who shouts orders at his minions.

But that's not all!

The Pimp feat in the Desire and the Dead thread also increases your size. So does the Mechanus Armor. Great, you're now two sizes past Colossal, putting you at at least 256 feet tall, assuming for a moment that there are sizes past Colossal and they double (Colossal is at 64 feet tall. So Humongous would be 128, and Bigmcfuckenlargehuge would be 256).

ironically, many of your Marshall abilities require your allies to see and hear you. Which they can't fail to do now.

Also, your size relative to your followers means when you do those Marshall rituals to heal people, it's like you're a god among those little tiny men.

Also, the Marshall is immune to fatigue and exhaustion, so for shits and giggles take Great Fortitude to score your HD x2 in HP. To say nothing of your now incredible Str bonuses and fort saves. But you now get a +12 bonus on a special intimidate check you have from Big Nob.

I suppose such a character could be some roving army leader in the planes. But I'll admit this is mostly screwing around. It'd be great for getting rid of those pesky sieges, though. And take the Harmless Form fiend feat to be able to interact normally.

I've got a couple more goofy things I found that I'll post when I can get the details settled.

I have nothing of value of add. However, I motion that Colossal+2 be officially designated "Bigmcfuckenlargenhuge".

Seconded on bigmcfuckenlargenhuge. This is both entertaining and kind of badass.

Thirded. While Bigmcfuckenlargenhuge is a mouthful, it's still way better than the official notation Macro-Tiny. At least, I think this was official. Colossal++ is more practical tho.

Anyway, since you aren't actually taking Fiend classes, change race to Human w/ PoID then dip into Tome Soulborn and Totemist for another two size increases, one of which is an Enlarge Person which is why we needed Human. Now you can magically enlarge to 1024' tall.

Good thing there's magic in the D&Dverse.

Otherwise the square-cube volume law would fuck you right over.

Pretty sweet trick, though.

EDIT: It would require 23 levels to get the Marshall + Big Nob + Souborn + Totemist trick up. 11 levels of Marshall + 10 of Big Nob + 1 Slbrn +1 Ttmst + 3 feats + armor = 9 size increases, or Colossal +++++ (yes, five pluses, roughly 2048 feet or half a mile tall) Come up with a name for that.

Also, the "original" trick would require 21 levels as well - but wait, you're not taking the 11th level of Marshall, which begs the question of why you're taking Marshall in the first place. Just to have the abilities that depend on people seeing you, and then making it much easier for them to do so?

EDIT 2: Why not throw a permanent enlarge person spell on there while you're at it?

MOAR EDITS FOR THE MATHS: +72 Str, +36 Con -48 AC/Attack (it might well be negative at this point, except, wait:) +54 Natural Armor

Aktariel wrote:(yes, five pluses, roughly 2048 feet or half a mile tall) Come up with a name for that.

"City"

I used to go Colossal < Titanic < Awesome < Mega Awesome < Giga Awesome < Terra Awesome < Peta Awesome < Exa Awesome < Zetta Awesome < Yotta Awesome < Galactic < Cosmic. Not that it was ever relevant. But the intention was, at high levels, I would just flat out say "and the dragon is carrying a continent on its back. WHAT YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

I'll see if I can think up some weird shit on my 10 hour car drive tomorrow.

Dragonmech actually carries the scale on for the mechs.

Colossal --> Colossal II --> Colossal III --> Colossal IV --> City-Mech A --> City-Mech B...

Something like that.

But bear in mind that Bigmcfuckenlargehuge puts you about the height of Godzilla in that Godzilla 1984 movie.

I went with Aasimar because it saves a feat and also gives +2 Charisma, which can help the Marshall abilities out.

In any case, try taking Frank's Tyrant Feat.

Tyrant [Skill] [Leadership]
You push people around and get larger and larger groups trapped in the iron gauntlet of your brutal rule. This feat scales with your ranks in Intimidate
Benefits: You inspire such terror that creatures you intimidate continue to act intimidated after you leave, too afraid to raise their voice in defiance even after you have apparently left them far behind.
4: You can muster a group of followers. Your leadership score is your ranks in Intimidate plus your Strength modifier.
9: Your followers swell in number to that of an army.
14: Your mere presence inspires fear and can break a battle. Enemies with more than 5 hit dice less than you do must make a Will save (DC 10 + ½ Level + Strength Modifier) of flee in panic. This is a [Fear] effect.
19: Your presence causes despair in even brave opponents. All enemies within 30' of your suffer a -2 Morale penalty to Willpower saves.

If you did this, your strength would be in, what, the 50s?

As for another combination, I was checking some fiend feats and noticed that you take Breath Weapon and Finger of Death together.

There's also the Kali Monk, the build which is around here (under the title Shiva Monk).

Be an Aasimar Monk (to qualify for feats and tbat point of Wisdom bonus). Then, start taking Extra Arms. when you can. Work out some acceptable means of Multiweapon Fighting for Tome (I generally just slap "Multiweapon" on "Two-Weapon"). After some of those Grandmaster styles kick in, you can wield an ordinary assortment of weapons which would be treated as having an enhancement bonus equal to your Wisdom Modifier, which you can get up to +14 (at least) with Insightful Strike. The monk also gets his Wisdom to dodge bonus (and a few other things) so there's a lot of incentive to push your wisdom as high as it can go.

Take a fighting style which allows slam attack effects to work with any weapon, and you're ready to go unmake stuff.

Tome Monk: So awesome it can be a cool combo by itself.

So you're a True Fiend or Conduit:
[*]Get a natural weapon
[*]Get Poison Sacs (Wyvern - 2d6 Con/2d6 Con)
[*]Get Disease Carrier (Cackle Fever - 1d6 Wis)
[*]Master the Sphere that grants you Shivering Touch
[*]Supernatural Virulence (Shivering Touch - 3d6 Dex)

So you run up and slap someone. They then have to save against 2d6 Con (with another 2d6 Con 1 min later if it's relevant, and also another save against 3d6 Dex), and also save against 1d6 Wis. You're potentially lowering all of their saving throws, as well as their Initiative, AC, ranged attacks, Dex skills, HP and Divine Spellcasting. All with one claw to the face.

If their saves are good though, you might end up doing none of the above.

IIRC the D&D Joke Book uses "Colossal+", and Dungeon Magazine uses "Super Colossal".

Jesus christ.... Colossal+++++ (half a mile tall) is roughly ten times the height of the Great Wall of China. If you assume that Colossal+ is "macro-fine" and follow the space progression (assuming a +10' space when going from colossal to colossal+), you wind up with a space that is 400', or roughly 25 times the width of the Great Wall of China.

Now, while it's debatable whether the Great Wall of China is truly visible from the moon, you definitely are. In all likely hood, people on the moon could probably read messages on the top of your hat.

Cool Combo:

Be a Conduit, have Stone Sphere at will.

Take Feat Breath Weapon, on Stone Shape.

Note that Stone Shape is SR no, Save no.

30-90 ft cone of solid stone that no save traps anyone in the radius, and they are basically paralyzed and can't move too.

god.... I'm going to hate myself for this... but my friend actually got me to look up Big McFuckton's er... magnificence in the Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.

So I look up the table... and it actually names a size category above colossal, Titanic. The average for which is 16'.
Yeah.

So then I compare that down the chart, and it's just doubling, so I count up four more categories, pausing at Colossal++++ because it's 64', ie, colossal in it's own right. He, of course, assuming "average" on a human scale, has a 128' cock.

I hate my friends, and my own mind...

Colossal+++++ : wielding my own Colossal+ sized dick as a natural weapon.

It's time to talk about crushing damage.

It's time to talk about the feat 11 Testicles and wielding your own adamantine colossal+ cock.

Actually, it's time to talk about more equipment. Now, giant size sets your size at a specific category based on caster level, however, one could try to argue that class size increases could get applied after this, which would, if nothing else, get you an extra + (and honestly, when you're 23rd level, a ring of +8 str, +4 con, +1 natural armour whenever you fucking want isn't that bad a buy, even if you're spending the GDP of a small kingdom...)

Also, it's reasonable to say that change shape (from, say, harmless form) would negate size boost ability bonuses. So, is there any kind of "compress monster" spell that makes them physically medium, but explicitly allows them to keep their (whatever size) str and shit?

And then when you die, your already indestructible adamantine cock can be your monument. It's 128' tall, for fuck's sake.

EDIT: Gives a whole new twist to the "monuments as phallic symbols" thing...

I don't know of such a spell, unfortunately.

Oh, speaking of when you die, if you die in harmless form, you essentially get death throes, because a change shape-d creature reverts to original form (errata). So if you're medium size when you die, you immediately revert to you half mile tall form and crush everything you fall on.

so try and tilt towards the enemy.

You are all horrible people and I love you for it.

This is why the Den exists.

This is the greatest thing.

For what it's worth, I imagined it going like this:

10 levels of Marshall. Why? A lot of Marshall abilities are keyed off of your Marshall class levels. And the class is twelve levels long in any case, so you're not missing too much.

Marshall 6 gives you a Leadership Feat, saving you the trouble.

Large size is takeable at level 6 and Huge Size is after level 10 (so, 12 for you.)

You could bail out of Marshall at level 8 or 9 and probably still score the size increase Big Nob has at level 4, as long as you take Huge Size at character level 12. Get it right, and you could go from Huge to Gargantuan in a level.

it's worth taking marshall to 11th level for Massive Presence, it nets you another size increase because you just walk around with your Massive cockPresence always outon.

Sadly, I can't find any other classes that give size increases right now...

CatharzGodfoot wrote:IIRC the D&D Joke Book uses "Colossal+", and Dungeon Magazine uses "Super Colossal".

You recall correctly.

But they also use it inconsistently in the D&D Joke Book. The fucking walking mountain of Ice doesn't get pluses on his damn Colossal status.

-Username17

Why the fuck hasn't Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann been suggested for a size catagory name?

For more hilarity, take Meteor Ninja levels with this build too...

Assassin's Grasp is especially fun: when you successfully grapple something smaller than you (ie, anything) you can cover it's mouth to keep it silent and then hide it on your body. You can stuff fucking great wyrms down your pants and they may not even notice until they're intimidated into silence by your visible from space cock.

Edit: JESUS CHRIST!!! Assuming I understood how to do it correctly (character height over 60), the (30mm) mini for a Colossal++++++ character would be 34' FUCKING FEET TALL

The mini for the Colossal++ version would be your 9yo child (4' tall) or personal midgit on the small end, and your self a bit further up.

I was telling my sister about the Bigmcfuckenlargehuge-sized Marshall/Big Nob and mentioned the Pimp feat.

Pimp [Leadership Skill]
This is a feat which scales to your ranks in Intimidate.
0: Keep yo' Pimp Hand Strong: Sometimes you just gotta smack a ho. You gain a slam attack as a Monk, you may elect to inflict subdual or lethal damage at your option.
4: Make My Money: You have a bunch of prostitutes which you can send out to stand on corners or something I don't want to know. You gain followers with a leadership score that is equal to your ranks in intimidate+Cha or Str mod, whichever is higher. in addition your wealth level is treated as one higher. (Not very much>Some>Lots>Mega Bucks>Scrooge Mcfuckenduck.)
9: It Just Got a Little Easier Out There For a Pimp: You in the big time now playa. You gain a a cohort, and a pimpmobile (Phantom stead, but looks like a gaudy car, seats four). Your wealth increases again.
14: Big Pimpin': Your size category increases, your ability scores do not.
19: All Them Haters Hatin': You know they tryin' to catch you ridin' dirty. You now have an army of hoes maken' money.

Quoth the sister:

"You can't be a pimp at 256 feet tall! How can you pimp-slap a ho when you're that big? That's not pimp-slapping, that's pimp-smiting!"

you're an over-pimp. Your cohort pimp-slaps the hos for you.