Moments when a piece of entertainment completely rocked you.

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 12:19 am

Prak wrote:

I ninjaed you on the other thread. Also, your post is very hard to read with said app installed.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 12:49 am

In the Election thread? I posted that on the ninth, like six days before you mentioned it in Election 2016

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 1:30 pm

nockermensch wrote:
Maj wrote:http://www.googlefeud.com/

america? WRONG
hawaii? WRONG
chicago? WRONG

well played, google.

At first I thought the third one said "which country is Africa".

Which would be indicative of the intelligence of the people who think that shit.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Sat Jul 25, 2015 8:19 pm

http://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop ... lf-cyoa/1/

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 2:07 am

Saw this on tumblr-

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.
-------
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. Chipotle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 3:13 am

"And then the whole bus clapped and gave me a medal!"

ishy · Post by **ishy** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 12:18 pm

Always interesting to read how people who intimidate others with threats of violence and then proceed to steal their stuff and fuck someone over (basically act like murderhobos), consider themselves to be super heroes.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 12:37 pm

I found it amusing, at least. It's myopic, sure, but given that I know none of the people involved, it's little more just some internet story. Like Floridaman.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:53 pm

ishy wrote:Always interesting to read how people who intimidate others with threats of violence and then proceed to steal their stuff and fuck someone over (basically act like murderhobos), consider themselves to be super heroes.

Well, the guy they were intimidating had cheated on their friend. I'm pretty sure he deserved it.

DSMatticus · Post by **DSMatticus** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:31 pm

ishy wrote:Always interesting to read how people who intimidate others with threats of violence and then proceed to steal their stuff and fuck someone over (basically act like murderhobos), consider themselves to be super heroes.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

While the story is definitely BS (a navy seal, I swear!), if your girlfriend catches you cheating on her, tells you she's breaking up with you, and says she never wants to talk to you again, it is both assholish and completely illegal to declare that you won't give her her belongings back until she talks to you about it. That is not how property works. That is not how cohabitation works. That is not how breakups work.

That's a crime - a common one, and unfortunately it's not one police take very seriously. They may not allow you to press charges. They may not assist you unless you can prove ownership (assuming you don't live alone, can you prove what in your house is your's and what belongs to other people?). They may tell you to take your claim to civil court, which might very well be so expensive that you'd be better off just buying new things. In this hypothetical, a man who attempted to hold his ex-girlfriend's stuff hostage in order to coerce her (and likely would have gotten away with it, or at least made her life hell for a bit) ended up having a bad day and also a bunch of minor shit from his house got stolen in petty revenge. If the world made any fucking sense at all, that would be grand theft, which is a felony and involves jail time.

Hiram McDaniels · Post by **Hiram McDaniels** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:25 am

Prak wrote:Saw this on tumblr-
I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.
-------
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. Chipotle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

That's a manly story of manly men doing manly things in ways that are manly. I bet they all chugged Popeye's together. That's a cocktail I just made up; it's made with Miller High Life and Creatine powder. Why does this story annoy me so much? Probably because the subtext here is that the author actually thinks he's a superhero.

I had a similar situation, but I just broke in through the the dude's kitchen window while he was at work, stuffed her shit in a couple pillowcases and left because that's the kind of shit you do when you're 23 and grew up in a trailer park and date trainwrecks. Anyway, I'm probably a shitty hypocrite.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:40 am

It's one of those things that is plausible enough, but I don't much care whether it is or not, since it is entertaining. And unlike religion, nothing is harmed if I care more about it being a good story than the realism of it. I like to think the SEAL is now called Hawkeye by the rest of them, and that they're all quietly haunted by the fact that they will never again do anything of relevance, and must live lives of quiet desperation.

On a complete tangent, someone needs to write a Powered by the Apocalypse (Apocalypse World system) game called Esoteric Bear.

Shady314 · Post by **Shady314** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:41 am

Hiram McDaniels wrote: That's a manly story of manly men doing manly things in ways that are manly.

Or it's a story of a group of people spontaneously deciding to help someone that didn't even ask for it.

Or it's a story of a group of guys showing an asshole bully what it feels like to be bullied by assholes.

Or a textbook example of noble intentions leading you down an immoral path.

I could go on. It's all about how you choose to perceive things.

If true I don't really give a shit either way. Two wrongs don't make a right but it does tend to feel really fucking good and I won't pretend I haven't partaken in some sweet revenge.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:47 am

More Tumblr:

fancybidet wrote:
protowilson wrote:
drtanner-sfw wrote:

I am English and despite Tumblr user ilikelookingatnakedmen’s assurances I am still not sure if this post is part or fully comprised of bullshit or not.
Tanner it’s 100% legit. Sometimes sausage sizzles are the only thing that get people to vote.
Voting is mandatory in Australia. We just like celebrating our right and responsibility to vote with a sausage sizzle.

PL or Koumei please tell me whether this is a thing or not.

PhoneLobster · Post by **PhoneLobster** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 11:15 am

Prak wrote:PL or Koumei please tell me whether this is a thing or not.

It's a lie.

You usually get two pieces of bread.

Also my electorate mostly does raffles for food baskets and meat platters instead. Sometimes a cake stand.

edit: Though maybe I just miss the sausage sizzle time slot because I always vote at 3pm when there is no line and you can just walk right in and vote... no wait, I've handed out how to vote at multiple voting booths in the region, all of them were raffles and cake stands, well, the Hunter Valley is notoriously disenfranchised....

moar of the same edit: Funny story. Before we vote we have to get our name ticked off the electoral role, normally at my local polling site they have 2-4 competent middle aged women who somehow know (or sometimes just think they know) half the community on sight and deal with it fairly promptly.

This year they had a very old man with tiny glasses and a bemused teenage boy who just sat there with his arms folded looking both amazed and frustrated as the old man "handled" everyone.

The old man had messed it up on the two people immediately ahead of me, and was going slow enough that despite it being 3pm there WERE people ahead of me.

He got to me and I was all like "My Name" and he was like "whaaaaaat?" because I had spoken to fast. So I was like. "My. Name." and he was like "Oooooh yes yes, whatever that was... hrm... I'll just slowly start looking that up" and I was "That's Name with an N". To which I added "Not Name with a B". And he was all like "Hm, lets see, Andy Bame, Anne Bame, Daren Bame, Clarke Bame...", and I was "Name, N. A. M. E." and he was like "Oh, Name! Like the famous footballer or boxer, Yes, why didn't you say so in the first place, everyone knows Name, ok, Andy Name, Anne Name, Daren Name, Clarke Name... ", and I was "No, My Name, M. Y. My.". And he was all "Ah yes, just here somewhere...". And I was, "It's that one right there." Then he was on to the next person and they were all "Some Lady" and he was all "whaaaaat?"...

The teenage boy just sat there with his arms folded and tried not to make eye contact while trying very hard not to giggle. It looked like the ongoing strain was really taking it's toll on him.

Also then all the pencils had been stolen and there was one half working pen someone had left behind between all the booths and even though it's all supposed to be hush hush top secret privacy we all had to take turns sharing it.

Hiram McDaniels · Post by **Hiram McDaniels** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 6:51 pm

Prak wrote:
On a complete tangent, someone needs to write a Powered by the Apocalypse (Apocalypse World system) game called Esoteric Bear.

I pretty much already did. It's posted in the My Own Invention forum.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:09 am

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2015win.html
interesting and some funny ones in there ^^

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:12 am

Does gaming art count as entertainment?

Anyway, Wayne Reynolds has been growing on me lately. Mostly, the Pathfinder iconic occultist is fat and has a neckbeard. That amuses me more than it should.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:58 am

I was looking through some Planescape stuff the other day. Diterlizzi is probably one of the better D&D artists, certainly of 2nd. If I was art directing my dream D&D edition, it would be Diterlizzi, Reynolds, Baxa, and some Foglio, Ruyo and Brom where appropriate. I might throw some work Mike Krahaulik's way for "out of play" pieces, simply due to his popularity and the fact that just letting him do official D&D art would probably be a large part of his fee for the piece.

Shatner · Post by **Shatner** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 2:39 pm

Encouraging Study Finds It Now Easier Than Ever For American Dollars To Rise Into Upper Class

Experts say a record number of dollars from blue-collar and middle-income households rose into the upper class last year.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 9:23 pm

I seem to be a bit late to the party, but this would make an awesome HBO series.

https://vimeo.com/120401488

Leress · Post by **Leress** » Mon Sep 07, 2015 4:43 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8DepwwXx3Y

Louie and Janet Season 4 of Louie

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Sep 07, 2015 8:51 pm

Someone made a parody twitter account for the woman who sits next to Kim Davis.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Mon Sep 07, 2015 9:32 pm

Prak wrote:Someone made a parody twitter account for the woman who sits next to Kim Davis.

I want to mail that office a care package of pens, diet mountain dew, oreos, and coffee supplies. I'm going to grocery shopping soon, too. Tempting, tempting...

erik · Post by **erik** » Mon Sep 07, 2015 10:26 pm

If you worked there would you eat or drink something that was mailed as a "care package?"

Or just wait to do so after another coworker does first?