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Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

The world's largest gummy worm.

There's also the World's Largest Gummi Bear, but basically, the worm is funnier. Not mentioned on the site: what it's 5" girth, 2' long, ribbed body actually looks like. I mean, the picture where the guy is stuffing it in his mouth looks awfully similar to a video I once saw on the Internet, and that video didn't end with diabetes.
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Maj
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Post by Maj »

Wow, that looks like a sex toy. And I must say, given the option of spending $30 on a sex toy or a gummy worm, I'll take the sex toy, please.

:tongue:
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Count Arioch the 28th
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

I'd take neither. I don't require the use of sex toys (and I seriously doubt I'll ever have sex ever again, too many challenges for a man like me), and I dislike gummi anything.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
fdjkfdjkfdjkfdjk
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Post by fdjkfdjkfdjkfdjk »

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:if you don't believe in tipping you can make your own goddamn food
If you don't believe in tipping doctors you can cure your own goddamn cancer.
If you don't believe in tipping cops you can solve your own goddamn crimes.
If you don't believe in tipping lawyers you can stand up in the court of law by your goddamn self.
If you don't believe in tipping movie/video game/book writers/developers you can write/develop your own goddamn entertainment.
If you don't believe in tipping clothes makers you can fucking go naked. Goddammit.
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Post by sabs »

Honestly, the culture of Tipping is somethign that's allowed Restaurant owners to continue to be exploitative fuckbastards.

I tip, and I tip well, but honestly the industry would be better off if tipping went away, and restaurant owners had to actually pay their wait staff.
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RobbyPants
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Post by RobbyPants »

sabs wrote:Honestly, the culture of Tipping is somethign that's allowed Restaurant owners to continue to be exploitative fuckbastards.

I tip, and I tip well, but honestly the industry would be better off if tipping went away, and restaurant owners had to actually pay their wait staff.
I personally don't understand it either, since it's pretty arbitrary who you tip and who you don't. Worse yet, the older I get, the more I learn of various professions that are supposed to be tipped, and there isn't a set percentage that it's acceptable to tip across the board.

I'm worried I'm going to not tip when I had no idea I was "supposed to", or when I do, that I'll tip insultingly little without knowing it.
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Blasted
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Post by Blasted »

Here in Oz, I don't tip at all, happy in the knowledge that a dish pig should be paid according to award and a decent chef can command a decent salary.
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Post by Dr_Noface »

wut
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

D&D Holiday Memo set.

Paladin brings his order a dead blue dragon to be used to feed the homeless during the holidays.
From the Desk of the Lord Marshall of the West,
Temple of the Silver Weasel

Memo to all Servants of the Weasel in Marksville, re: Winter Feast


It has come to my attention that some of the younger paladins—you know who you are—are rounding up homeless people from other towns and bringing them to Marksville for the Solstice. While I am sure that your hearts are in the right place, a charity drive is not like a cattle drive. We have had complaints.

Yours,

the Lord Marshall
From the Desk of the Lord Marshall of the West,
Temple of the Silver Weasel

Memo to all Servants of the Weasel in Marksville, re: Winter Feast


Damnit, people, there is not a Yuletide event called “the Running of the Homeless.” You stop that right now.

the Lord Marshall
From the Desk of the Lord Marshall of the West,
Temple of the Silver Weasel

Memo to all Servants of the Weasel in Marksville, re: Winter Feast


It has come to my attention that some members of the order are attempting to pad the attendance at the soup kitchen by hiring prostitutes to take part. While I applaud your enthusiasm at ministering to the dregs of society, some of those women make upwards of two hundred gold pieces an hour, and the Weasel’s treasury is not bottomless. Let’s try to confine ourselves to the less fortunate.

the Lord Marshall
Edit: Accidentally posted this in the "It's personal" thread earlier today, before I left for work. I think I clicked the wrong tab and just didn't look once I started writing the posted.

So, uh, disregard that, I suck cocks.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Post by Whatever »

Maxus wrote:So, uh, disregard that, I suck cocks.
But do you make upwards of two hundred gold pieces an hour?
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Whatever wrote:
Maxus wrote:So, uh, disregard that, I suck cocks.
But do you make upwards of two hundred gold pieces an hour?
:rofl:
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

Whatever wrote:
Maxus wrote:So, uh, disregard that, I suck cocks.
But do you make upwards of two hundred gold pieces an hour?
Oh, I wish. Four pounds of gold an hour? Hell yeah.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

Maj wrote:Wow, that looks like a sex toy. And I must say, given the option of spending $30 on a sex toy or a gummy worm, I'll take the sex toy, please.

:tongue:
There aren't a whole lot of (good) sex toys you can get on par with that for $30. You can get some mediocre vibrators, and semi-decent dildos, I suppose, but the good ones start around twice that.

Count, on the topic of you and sex toys, fake women don't complain, or feel pain or discomfort, so that's a step up on that one chick you've mentioned.
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sabs wrote:Honestly, the culture of Tipping is somethign that's allowed Restaurant owners to continue to be exploitative fuckbastards.

I tip, and I tip well, but honestly the industry would be better off if tipping went away, and restaurant owners had to actually pay their wait staff.
I personally don't understand it either, since it's pretty arbitrary who you tip and who you don't. Worse yet, the older I get, the more I learn of various professions that are supposed to be tipped, and there isn't a set percentage that it's acceptable to tip across the board.

I'm worried I'm going to not tip when I had no idea I was "supposed to", or when I do, that I'll tip insultingly little without knowing it.
Lets see... Baggage Handlers, I've heard. My mom taught me to tip barbers/hair stylists. Body Artists(~10%-15%), Strippers (just, in general), of course, Bar Tenders (~50%), and Brothelworkers (~10%-25%), according to a book I have (Etiquette for Outlaws. Bought on a lark, was actually pretty interesting). The book says tip for piercing, tipping is suggested but optional for tattooing, and the numbers are all just rough suggestions.
Last edited by Prak on Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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tzor
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Post by tzor »

Maxus wrote:
Whatever wrote:
Maxus wrote:So, uh, disregard that, I suck cocks.
But do you make upwards of two hundred gold pieces an hour?
Oh, I wish. Four pounds of gold an hour? Hell yeah.
:cry: I long for the old 1E Gygax days :cry:

You know when a gold piece was 1/10th a pound?

(And it's actually realistic, most gold coins are about an ounce in weight (or slightly more), and in the gold system, it is 12 ounces to a pound. I've seen the US Mint produce smaller versions of their coins but the standard "gold coin" used throughout the world is the old Gygax standard.)

US Mint - I was going to quote it but it's copy protected and I'm too fucking lazy to type all of that crap.
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Post by tzor »

Prak_Anima wrote:Lets see... Baggage Handlers, I've heard. My mom taught me to tip barbers/hair stylists. Body Artists(~10%-15%), Strippers (just, in general), of course, Bar Tenders (~50%), and Brothelworkers (~10%-25%), according to a book I have (Etiquette for Outlaws. Bought on a lark, was actually pretty interesting). The book says tip for piercing, tipping is suggested but optional for tattooing, and the numbers are all just rough suggestions.
Here's a tough one for me (caught between my Scots background and my engineering background that says measure twice and multiply by a significant factor) ... Suppose you go to John Harvards for their happy hour. Drinks and food are half price. You order a beer (duh) and an appetizer. Now is the 50% on the base price or on the half price?

I generally take the higher number, but then again, if I am doing this (I haven't done it in a while) I am doing this consistantly on the same day of the week and the same guy is there every time.
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Post by sabs »

The tatoo I'm looking at getting is going to cost me $1500 bucks. The guy doing it gets paid $250 an hour. FUCK YOU I'm not tipping his ass.
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Post by Gx1080 »

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angelfromanotherpin
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

tzor wrote:(And it's actually realistic, most gold coins are about an ounce in weight (or slightly more), and in the gold system, it is 12 ounces to a pound. I've seen the US Mint produce smaller versions of their coins but the standard "gold coin" used throughout the world is the old Gygax standard.)
Which 'most' and 'standard' are you talking about? The Egyptian shekel was 0.4 ounces. The Roman aureus was 0.28 ounces. The Byzantine solidus was 0.16 ounces. The Arabic dinar was 0.15 ounces. The Venetian ducat was 0.123 ounces. The English gold florin was 0.247 ounces.

The full ounce gold coin doesn't show up until the 1967 South African Kruggerand. Is that really the depth of history and tradition you're calling upon? Because that's younger than my mother.
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Post by Maj »

Angel wrote:Which 'most' and 'standard' are you talking about?
There was absolutely nothing in tzor's post to indicate history. He's just saying that having a gold coin be 1/10th of a pound isn't unrealistic.
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

Maj wrote:There was absolutely nothing in tzor's post to indicate history. He's just saying that having a gold coin be 1/10th of a pound isn't unrealistic.
Except it sort of is. We have a record of literally thousands of years of gold coins being used as actual currency by actual people, and they're all significantly smaller than an ounce. Modern-style bullion coins are for investment or collector purposes; no one actually pays for things with those.

1.0 ounce gold coins evoke the late-20th to early 21st centuries and not the eras we actually associate with heroic fantasy. The only reason to find those in your D&D wealth piles is if you're in the transapocalyptic version of Greyhawk and they actually have weathered images of Kruger on them as an easter egg call-back to the nature of the setting; and even then, they will be twelve to a pound.
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Post by Maj »

Angel wrote:We have a record of literally thousands of years of gold coins being used as actual currency by actual people, and they're all significantly smaller than an ounce.
They're also of varying purities because pure gold coins are too soft for commerce. Why aren't you complaining about the unrealistic idea of coins being all gold?
Angel wrote:1.0 ounce gold coins evoke the late-20th to early 21st centuries and not the eras we actually associate with heroic fantasy.
Fuck. Slice it like a pizza and have a gold piece of eight. It's not hard to make shit up unless you don't want to.
Angel wrote:even then, they will be twelve to a pound.
Tzor already said that.

But really, why don't you take issue with the fact that troy pounds are completely different than avoirdupois pounds? Oooh... Should we argue next what kind of pound Gygax was talking about? Or why don't you argue about the fact that in D&D everyone uses the same coins? Or. Or. Or.

This is stupid.
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angelfromanotherpin
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

Maj wrote:Why aren't you complaining about the unrealistic idea of coins being all gold?
Because nobody suggested that the coins were or should be 24 karat? There's a literally infinite number of things that weren't mentioned that I'm not complaining about.
Maj wrote:
Angel wrote:even then, they will be twelve to a pound.
Tzor already said that.
Let's try this again. Tzor was waxing nostalgic for coins being 10 to a pound in a game instead of 50 to a pound as implied by Maxus. Because Tzor is a grognard. One of his arguments in favor was that gold coins come 12 to a pound today, so 10 was more realistic than 50.

I'm just pointing out that even the heaviest gold coins from actual antiquity came 40 to a pound. So, his 'reality' argument can suck it. That's my entire dog in this fight.
Maj wrote:But really, why don't you take issue with the fact that troy pounds are completely different than avoirdupois pounds? Oooh... Should we argue next what kind of pound Gygax was talking about? Or why don't you argue about the fact that in D&D everyone uses the same coins? Or. Or. Or.
I know, right? It's almost like the boards are for discussion.

But it's a fair point about differing units of measure. Let's assume that Gygax was using a U.S. standard pound for his encumbrance malarkey, which I think is a pretty safe bet. A coin 1/10 of a U.S. pound would weigh 45.36 grams. An American Gold Eagle that contains 1 troy ounce of gold and a little other stuff to stiffen it weighs 33.93 grams and would be 13.36/lb. So, yeah, adjusting for units of measure doesn't make Tzor's case any stronger. The relatively fat shekel is still 40/lb, and the basically average florin is more than 70/lb.

I imagine everyone in D&D uses the same coins because the 'gold piece' is actually written into the laws of the universe. It is 1/25000 of the block of gold you get when you wish for gold, for instance.
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Post by Doom »

angelfromanotherpin wrote:
I'm just pointing out that even the heaviest gold coins from actual antiquity came 40 to a pound. So, his 'reality' argument can suck it. That's my entire dog in this fight.
Actually, ancient Egypt had a number of coins minted at roughly an ounce.

Eg, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSXWvM5aa50

Most coins were smaller, of course. During the 19th century, the US minted once ounce $20 gold coins for quite some time, and in great numbers.

That said, certainly there were small denominations (I recently got a 1745 1/2 Escudo for melt value, 1/20 an ounce). Just because pennies existed doesn't mean dollars didn't, and I don't see why in a 'fantasy' game heroes can't be picking up dollars instead of pennies.
Last edited by Doom on Thu Dec 15, 2011 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

Huh. Well, that's learning things for you. Thanks, Doom.
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