NaNo: I rule

[Koumei]

It's now the 27th, and I have hit 50K words last night. I have "won" NaNoWriMo.

I have also finished the 4chan version of the ending and posted it to /tg/ (it being a novel about an Inquisitor in the GRIM AND DARK world of 40K).

I still need to finish the proper ending. It is awesome though. It has Chaos, lesbians, assassins, BDSM, Inquisitors, Angry Marines, Sisters of Battle, Imperial tech exploding...

I give it five stars, but I might be biased.

That being said, it's not as GRIM AND DARK as it should be, for a 40K book. I'm not too good at that style. But enough difficulty is encountered that it can't be considered Imperial propaganda either.

Yeah, a novel in a month. You won't see Robert Jordan doing that. Well, especially not now, I suppose.

Anyway, I just posted to say how awesome I am, and to suggest other winners post here to declare their victory.

[Surgo]

Not done yet, but I will certainly be hitting 50k by the 30th (or 29th). I'm at 42k right now, have been doing a steady 2k a day, and have not yet done today's 2k. This novel looks like it's gonna run to 60k though, so it won't be done come November 30th.

It's a tale of pulling yourself up from weakness and poverty, with love and loss making an occasional appearance as well. Except it's set in a fantasy world, so you know how that goes...

Yeah, a novel in a month. You won't see Robert Jordan doing that. Well, especially not now, I suppose.

Ouch.

[tzor]

I also crossed the 50K barrier yesterday.

My celebration has so far been muted. I downloaded/uploaded the victory icons and then uploaded my document to LuLu as fast as I possibly could (having added a quick dedication and a preface) then I modified the sig to reflect my victory and also to well promote it.

Basically my novel is 1776 (actually 1750 - French and Indian War) with elves and orcs and wizards and clerics and nymphs. Generally PG 13 but I think at one time almost every character save the celibate cleric was naked.

Basic rules were from the Troll Lord Games C&C because I wasn't in the mood for 3E anymore, 4E isn't out yet and well I wanted a old fashioned AD&D feel to it. (Did you know the average kobold female lays 10 eggs six times a year - based on Monsters and Treasure. Talk about the birth of a nation! Or in my case a city.)

[CalibronXXX]

Congratulations to both of you.

The quip about Robert Jordan made me laugh.

[Cielingcat]

Can you post your novel or something?

[Koumei]

Well, fair warning, about one third of it is porn. And not even particularly good porn. I drew upon existing fiction for that, meaning all of their flaws were scooped up into my style, I focused too much on what I like and not the scenes as a whole, and in general... it embarrasses me a little.

That being said, if I can find somewhere to upload it, then people who are aware of what I just said can feel free to read it.

Incidentally, the reason for the porn: It increases the wordcount, and is easy to write, giving me time to think of where I'm going with the plot.

I have not yet finished the proper story, only the "4chan special" ending. I turned that into a pdf, then into a rar, then hid that in a jpg and posted it to /tg/, where the comments included:

"don't you have something better to do with your time?" (on 4chan, lol)
"Shut up, I found it amusing. Saved."
A rant explaining how there was nothing good about it.
"Angry Marines weren't ANGRY enough."
"Typo on page 37. I give you fail out of 10."

But I'm aware that you don't post stuff there in the hopes of praise.

Hmm, the Creator of the Universe wants to read my stuff. Cool.

[JonSetanta]

Yep. You n tzor both rock. *thumbs up*

[Judging__Eagle]

Actually, I wanted to know if I can read this WH40k fiction. Mostly b/c anyone whose willing to admit their stuff needs improvement probably spent a decent enough amount of time making it bearable to read, partly b/c I could use a change of pace from all the emotionally charged political conniving that is any of the Herbert's books and a small greedy part of me wants to read anything WH40k related. The fact that this could be... ahem, 'lemony' fiction is either good or bad; depending how it was done. If it's bad I tend to skip or skim at best, I sometimes scan it if it's good.

Also, this whole NaNo thing is... interesting. All the info that I have is based on this thread and the fact that Tzor has those little button dealies in his sig sometimes.

Basically people try to write a novel in a month?

[Cielingcat]

Is your thread still on /tg/?

[Count Arioch the 28th]

I'm glad for you guys.

[JonSetanta]

1196129629[/unixtime]]Is your thread still on /tg/?

I looked a few hours ago, didn't see it.

[Koumei]

Probably not - and that was the 4chan special ending (so late in the story, I suddenly cut to Bel-air. The longest build-up to Bel-air evar).

Also, when I do put it up somewhere, if it's still in pdf form I can seriously bookmark it to make the skipping of porn even easier for those who aren't interested.

[Crissa]

That makes you guys a third the people I know who completed 50K words this month in NANO works.

Why you do it, I do not know.

-Crissa

[JonSetanta]

No! Please. Include the porn.

[Koumei]

I don't know why I do it either, sometimes. It was my first year, though. My ex said she was very proud. Two years ago, one week in I would have said "Ah, screw it."

And apparently early next year there's the "Write a 20,000 word screenplay or stage play" month. If I can think of something sufficiently stupid, I might do it. "Warhammer: the musical" perhaps.

[Judging__Eagle]

... I could see it now.

An imperial recruit going to join a Inquisitor's Crusade to drive out hated Xenos...use "I am I, Don Quixote" for the Trooper's song.

A Commissar singing a powerful rendition of "See our Guns!" (aka "See our Best", yes, from Beauty and the Beast) to a new Imperial Trooper and show off all the big tanks, armies, plasma guns that can accidentally kill you etc..

That trooper pining for home.

A slapstick song and dance number by a bunch of Ogryns and Ratlings. The comedic levity portion of the musical.

A big battle scene.

The trooper dying and the Commissar singing an ode to the fallen Imperial troops who died to stop the evil xenos.

Then either ending it there, or going for a stab at black humour and having the Commissar going off to recruit an other army for the Inquisitor in charge of this 'war'/'crusade'.

[Koumei]

Hmm, I suppose it would not be in character for them all (xenos and humans) to hold hands and do one last song and dance before bowing to the audience.

But that is seriously awesome.

[Judging__Eagle]

I got you one better.

Have it be a really male guardsman (a Catachan guardsman works) and he gets caught in a blast crater with an orc who is also a new recruit for the Orcs.

A bunch of Chaos demons show up and the two of them start fightin and winnin and then they're sharing their ration packets, but their short-lived friendship ends in tragedy as the guardsman's squad/platoon/section command comes back to rescue him for his bravery in standing up against incredible odds (they're watching the big fight with the demons from the 'side lines').

The Commissar is leading the squad and more demons attack; the squad, commissar, protagonist and orc warrior (that has now been getting larger b/c he's been fightin and winnin) kill these demons. Then the Commissar shoots the orc in the head, b/c "he's just xeno skum".


So, the setting would be a fight between Imps, Chaos and Orcs.

Alternately, you could replace the orc with an female eldar warp spider whose helmet is busted off and has her filament cannon and warp-jump rig busted; so she's fighting with a Wraithbone combat machete.

The reason for the broken gear is to show that she's a woman, no helmets and no masks allow the audience to see the character, and since her gear is busted it explains why she doesn't warp jump away or pull out her filament gun and shreds her enemies.

Use the orc if you want a bit more comedy/tragedy in that scene; use the eldar if you want more of a potential-romance/tragedy.

Although, at this point, I'm being inspired by operas and not plays or musicals.

Actually, aside from Shakespeare, and two other plays I know more operas than I do plays or musicals.

"In the grim darkness of the future, there is only opera"

Which fits, since Operas are either comedies or the worst kind of tragedy.

[tzor]

If you want the whole novel, there is a link at the bottom of my sig. The download edition is free. The printed edition ... well there is a printing cost but my royalty part is zipo.

My novel has no porn. Yes there's men and women and they are NAKED. Oh and there's sex but no porn. It's done in the good old fashioned roleplaying way that my friends who used to live in Key West always did, hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more.

Here is a sample paragraph, an early one so even this in generally mild. This occurs after the cleric and the elf ranger plan to have a meeting at the same spot the female orc barbarian had decided to take a bath under a spring fed waterfall.

The lady of the lake, actually more of a pond

William decided to explore the river, first following it upstream to the waterfall, and then downstream past the area where the ore was refined. Some ways downstream he noticed that there was a fork in the river and another stream was feeding the river at that point. He then followed the stream until he reached a pond. Feeling insecure about being alone in the woods he moved quietly. This apparently was a good thing because he quickly observed a lady standing by the pond. Quietly he moved forward careful of trying to remain hidden. The lady was, from what he could tell human, blond hair, blue eyes, barefoot and wearing an exceptionally shirt tunic like dress that went over another somewhat short blouse.

What was this creature, he wondered to himself. Was this a trap? Curiosity it was said killed the cat, but he was no cat, even though he was often called as crafty as one. Coming close to the lady he called out a greeting “Hello there lovely lady. My name is William Adams. Who are you and what are you doing here?”

William had somewhat expected the lady to turn into a monster and attack. He had his musket ready but now that she was aware of him the element of surprise was no longer in his favor. To his surprise she seemed genuinely frightened by the announcement. She turned as though to flee. “No please don’t leave,” he said, “I only want to talk.”

“Are you alone,” she asked.

“Yes,” he said and immediately regretted having said that.

“Oh,” she replied. “Well at least I can keep my eyes on you, but if you do anything the least bit suspect, I’m out of here faster than you can say ‘zing.’ Can you say ‘zing’?”

William obliged and repeated the word for her.

“Yea,” she replied, “I’d be gone that fast, vanished, poof, just like that. You know what, you’re cute. Not the type of drop down dead cute, but still the kind of cute that causes a girl to give you a second look if you know what I mean.”

To be honest, William had no clue what she meant. Yes there was that girl in the tavern in her home town a few years ago. But she married the guy who lived three houses from where he lived. In any event he had a few questions he wanted. “If you don’t mind me asking you, are you alone and what brings you to the middle of this forest?”

“Like, you know, I live here,” she replied. “I live alone, although I’ve only moved here about a year ago. I used to live near a dryad. All she did was talk about men. She constantly kept talking and talking about what she would do to a man, any man who she happened to find. Of course, the fact that she was in the middle of nowhere, hello, sort of indicated that she was going to be lonely for a long time. She was sort of tied to her tree, if you know what I mean and well I wasn’t so I was so out of there.”

“So I wandered about and what did I see? Men! Unfortunately they were rather plain and were more concerned with chopping down trees digging the earth and making the sky black in the middle of the day. Still, there was always a chance some drop down dead gorgeous guy would probably one day come to the camp right? But they never did. And then they died; killed by a dragon. He even chased one down and ate him. It was totally gruesome!”

“So,” William asked, “what do you think of the elves?”

“Well they are cute,” she replied, “but they are elves, not really my cup of tea, if you know what I mean. I much prefer humans!”

“You mean you’re not human?”

“Me,” she asked in slight shock. “No! I’m a fey, what others call a nymph to be precise, a creature with a god given talent of being drop dead gorgeous. You know if you had a few more points of charisma I’d show you just how drop dead gorgeous I could be and believe me it’s a real shock and awe moment. Sometimes I can’t help myself; I was born that way. But enough about me, what about you Are you here to chop down more trees and make more smoke and dig more dirt? Or are you here to avenge the death of those somewhat plain men and kill the dragon? Or perhaps you’re here for both; with your small band of merry men and perhaps the elf with the red feathered arrows?”

“Well actually,” William replied, “we’re going to do a little of all the choices. First we are going off to test ourselves by killing this feathered bear. Then we are going to kill the dragon. Then we are going off to negotiate with the gnomes for some rock that burns.”

“You mean those coal mining gnomes to the west,” she interrupted. “The ones who constantly sing ‘high ho’ as they go to work?”

“Yes, so hopefully the forest won’t be destroyed and the skies won’t be so dark.”

“Like, you know, that is so cool and environmentally friendly. I would love to help you with that, because otherwise some other dudes will come here and darken the skies again.” Pausing a second she continued, “Hey I have just the thing. You’re like this cool stealthy dude, because, like, I didn’t see you coming. At first I thought I was having a ‘blond’ moment but then I realized you had some skill and talent in that area. I have just the thing, bee are bee.”

Now William had no clue what a “bee are bee” was. In fact he had no clue about most of what she was saying. Words seemed to flow from her like a babbling brook. It was only then he realized that she was gone. Was she only a figment of her imagination?

“Got it,” said a voice from behind him. Turning around he saw her with a bottle in her hands. “It’s a potion of blur. Wish I had a vorpal blade or sylvan sword but hey I’m a cheep date.”

She handed her the bottle. “Thanks, he replied. By the way do you have a name?”

“You know,” she replied. “In all my years I never needed one. I’ll tell you what; if you want you can call me Mignon.”

“What does that mean?”

“I heard a Hen fur trader call me that once. I think it is hen for cute, or something like that. He was generally plain. You know if you just a tad cuter, but I’ve said that already. Tell you what. If you ever find this cute knight on a white horse and he’s this drop dead gorgeous and single, well have him come around and I’ll show him how drop dead gorgeous I can be when I want to be. I can’t help it. Nature has endowed me with secret beauty and I am a child of nature. Well I’ve got to run. Oh what the hell, you’re cute enough!”

Suddenly without a warning on her part she leaped forward and planted her mouth against his lips. Before he even realized it she pushed herself away from him and then literally vanished from his eyes.

William waited for almost an hour, stared at the bottle that was in his hands and returned to the camp.

[Koumei]

This took a few minutes to bastardise:

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a Warp storm-
No escape to reality-
Try to relax
Grab a chain-axe and see-
Im just a guardsman,i need some sympathy-
Because Im easy come, easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway this ship blows, doesnt really matter to me,
To me

Commissar... I'm just a man,
I cannot kill all these orks,
Pull my trigger, they still walk,
Commissar, life had just begun,
But I don't want to throw it all away-
Commissar ooo,
Didnt mean to make you sigh-
Id turn my back but I know that you will shoot me-
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-

Daemons! Our time has come,
THey want to eat my spine-
Bodys aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-you've got to know-
The uplifting primer does not tell the truth-
Commissar ooo- (don't you dare run)
I dont want to die,
So please don't shoot me as I try to run-

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Catachan, Catachan will you do the fandango-
Daemons that throw lightning-very very frightening me-
Oh Emperor, Oh Emperor,
Oh Emperor, Oh Emperor,
Oh Emperor of mankind-magnifico-
But Im just a guardsman and nobody loves me-
Hes just a guardsman from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
You traitor! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-
You traitor! we will not let you go-let him go
You traitor! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
The Commissar has a bullet put aside for me,for me,for me-

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can shoot me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-cant do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Any way the ship blows....

Awful, no?

[Judging__Eagle]

Works. Actually.

Funny since it's Queen, and we all know what Queen is about (the irony of Queen's "We Will Rock You" being played as the theme song of any sports team, let alone a football team is delicious), and using a Queen song to set the tone for the repressionist Imperium is great.

Just change:

Try to relax
Grab a chain-axe and see-

to

Xenos on board!
Grab a chain-sword and see-


Mostly b/c Chain-axe almost universally screams Khorne Berzerker. That's the only thing that jarred me a bit, but the rest all works really well.

I like the interplay between the Guardsman and the Commissar as his oppressor.

You also made a lot of really 40k in-canon references to replace words (the use of traitor as it had the right number of syllables) that came out really well.

Not bad for such a short turn-around time actually.

[tzor]

1196175737[/unixtime]]Awful, no?

Actually it's quite good. The parody is strong in this one.

One exceptionally minor problem.
In the original lyrics

Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-

is sort of set to

12 12

Galil eo, Galil eo,
Where your lyrics seems to want to fit

1 234
O Em per or

You can do that my removing the original 2 and doubling the 2 into two half value notes but that shifts the internal tempo slightly. Good for a perforance but harder to kariokie it.

And remember the most important part of the parody is that you need to have enough of the original to link it back. You do that very nicely.

[Koumei]

Heh, thanks. And the chainsword/onboard idea is better, yeah.

Also, here it is, in all its glory:

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_c ... ortunately, it changed it back from pdf into generic format, at which point it removed all bookmarks, and I'll be damned if I'm splitting it into individual chapters to upload separately.

[Judging__Eagle]

I like the part about the protagonist developing an irrational fear of orcs which leads to thorough cleaning of feet.

I'm actually only at that part just now, so I don't know what else happens after this scene.

I just wanted to say that.

[Captain_Bleach]

1196196507[/unixtime]]

Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-

is sort of set to

12 12

Galil eo, Galil eo,
Where your lyrics seems to want to fit

"Did somebody say my name?"

(Yes, I am in a silly mood today)