Introduction: I've never liked the BoEF, as I think it missed the mark in a number of areas. The result tends to be more of a "Book of sex" than a "Book of the erotic." Erotic is a lot like horror, the best is left to your imagination. The chain mail bikini is erotic, Marlyn Monroe over a subway grate is erotic. Conan the wine steward (yes there is an actual Vajero painting of this) is erotic.
So with that in mind I've started compiling my entries for my own version. I actually spent some time on the mini-portable hole, trying to cookie cutter 1' circles out of a 6' circle, until I realized that going from a "reasonable cost" and working backwards would be better. (Don't want them too cheep after all.) So anyway ... here is the stuff so far, mostly variations on two themes, the mini portable hole, and "exposing glamered" as a armor property.
The Chain Mail Bikini
The chain mail bikini is a staple of fantasy. Not only does it crop up in most fantasy art it even appears deep with the covers of Fredrick’s of Hollywood. It is also the cause of cries of anguish by those who bemoan that such items of apparel can afford little in the way of armored protection. Perhaps the argument is indeed backwards. Instead of asking how a skimpy metal bikini can provide proper armor protection, we should instead ask how a proper set of armor can appear to expose so much flesh.
Why magic of course! The “glamered” property allows one to have a magical suit of armor appear as an article of ordinary clothing. The “exposing glamered” property allows one to have a magical suit of armor appear as one’s birthday suit. Exposing glamered cannot add to or subtract from natural volume. Adding the chain mail bikini part is optional. The additional cost for the basic “exposing glamered” is the same as glamered.
Moderate illusion; CL 10th; Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disguise self; Price +2,700 gp.
(Now political correctness requires me to point out that while the chain mail bikini is a popular staple of fantasy for the ladies the same does not true for the men. The chain mail cod piece has never proven popular in fantasy art, although fur lined varieties are quite popular for male barbarians.)
The mini portable hole
The secret of being able to divide a 6’ portable hole into multiple 1’ portable holes at first seems like something that would not be exceptionally popular. The process involves a limited wish. The process is somewhat wasteful of all the potential extra dimensional space of the portable hole and as a result 20 mini portable holes are created each roughly 1’-1½’ in diameter and roughly 1’-1½’ deep.
Moderate conjuration; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, plane shift, limited wish; Price 2,000 gp.
Due to the nature of the mini portable hole, they often have to be backed with leather. Thus they do not fold close and are always active.
The Bra of Holding
Joan of Arc may have worn men’s armor, but with the bra of holding you don’t have to be uncomfortable wearing it. The bra of holding consists of two portable holes and a leather system to keep them all in place. Because of the nature of the mini portable hole (made with the finest phase spider silk you know) it is exceptionally comfortable.
The Bra of Holding comes in the exposing glamered version. This version allows you to have an appropriately manly chest. Along with other magic items this is the perfect item to allow any young lady to compete in the Greek Olympics.
The Amazonian Exposing Glamered Bra of Holding only covers one breast. I’m not sure why anyone would want one but some people insist that archers prefer it to nothing at all.
Regular: Moderate conjuration; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, plane shift, limited wish; Price 4,000 gp.
Exposing glamered: Moderate conjuration; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, plane shift, limited wish, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disguise self; Price 6,700 gp.
Amazonian: Moderate conjuration; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, plane shift, limited wish, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disguise self; Price 4,700 gp.
The Codpiece of Holding
If you have ever seen medieval pull plate you might notice the tremendous attention some knights placed to the armor over their private parts. Indeed this is one area where fantasy artists have clearly ignored. Clearly a better (and perhaps safer) means of safeguarding the family jewels is in order.
Like the Bra of Holding the Codpiece of Holding also comes in the exposing glamered version. The result is an illusion of an apparently anatomically correct female. (Joke varieties of the Ken/Barbie correct anatomy are also available.) Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) the appearance is but an illusion.
Regular: Moderate conjuration; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, plane shift, limited wish; Price 2,000 gp.
Exposing glamered: Moderate conjuration; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, plane shift, limited wish, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disguise self; Price 4,700 gp.
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