The Gaming Den

"Meth or no meth, you gotta floss."

mrs erik to son: "stop repeating that"
son: "but I'm singing, not repeating"
mrs erik: "you're only singing one verse, so that just makes it repeating"
erik: "row your boat only has one verse"
mrs erik: "yeah, you sing it once then stop"

"Aw, come here you pathetic little cumrag. I want to see just how badly a human can fuck."

+1

erik wrote:"Aw, come here you pathetic little cumrag. I want to see just how badly a human can fuck."

Most of your quotes are usually from your wife, or you kid(s?).

I really hope this one was the wife

This week's Oglaf.

Kaelik wrote:

erik wrote:"Aw, come here you pathetic little cumrag. I want to see just how badly a human can fuck."

Most of your quotes are usually from your wife, or you kid(s?).

I really hope this one was the wife

Heh, that was on my mind. That's why I posted it without attribution for the extra meta humor.

Youtube user: Is this a children's show? If so, why is there a picture of girl mounting another girl lying on the floor?
Uploader: It's NOT a children show.
— Comments on the opening to Hidamari Sketch

FBMF missed this post when he split the threads, so I'm scrubbing it myself and reposting it in the other thread.

Me, responding when she said someone doesn't like massages:

"Is she a robot? She may have just failed the Turing test."

"So, the character you've created is...Intern Boy."
"That's right! He has the powers of an intern in every field. From Assassin to Zoologist!"
"Okay..."
"And he can use his Intern Camouflage to convince other people he's an intern for their organization."
"How did you afford that?"
"I took a flaw that means Intern Boy can't disobey a direct command."
"You realize the other players are going to order you to fetch coffee and stuff and demand you roleplay it, right?"
"It's okay, I don't mind."
"Maybe you should change your name to Sub Boy."
"I don't want to be a nautical hero."

"Well, maybe the form of Platonic Idealism you encounter in reality is flawed, but there exists an ideal form..."

"I don't like beautiful characters. Why is the character beautiful? What does that add to the story? Give me a character with scars. Give me a princess missing an arm, with the marks of a dragon on her. Let's see a hero that would fight for the bitch that would rip an orc's throat out with her teeth. Not a prize to be won, but someone whose trust and respect they have to earn - and want to."

"The wages of sin is Death. Gotcha! The wages of everything is Death! This is a Communist universe, the amount you work makes no difference to your eventual reward. From each according to his ability, to each Death." -Scott Alexander

"Every four years, the United States of America must face how ugly its own people are. That is the purpose of elections. We have to look at our family, our neighbors, our friends, the professors at our colleges, the police on our streets, the people on the street and behind the pulpit and in the boardrooms and ask ourselves: 'Is this what we really believe? Can there be so many people in favor of these things that I detest? Why?' - and it is the questioning, the soul-searching, more than the popularity contest that makes us stronger."
- John Boston, "For Love of Country"

Got a few!

yesterday: son to mrs erik: "If daddy wasn't married to you, I would"

yesterday again:
erik's aunt: "See you next time"
erik: "Like, we should do this again sometime?"
(she was in town for a funeral)

and today:
mrs erik "I don't like the smell of these, so I'm going to use them up" (as she dumped these horrific odor cubes in some melting device received as a present)
erik: "Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

p.s. now the smell is coming up from the basement and I may have to flee farther up the house

My coworker describing his expereince with online dating:

"I only had one success - and that didn't turn out well."

Darth Rabbitt wrote:

My 7 year old nephew, to his little brother wrote:YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SEXISM!

To be fair, he's probably correct

"Is it not right, to set aside a time for remembrance and looking forward, for the ending of affairs and the beginning, for the renewal of oaths and the releasing of grudges? Shall we not measure ourselves to the very mystic hour, and light our fires against the darkness, to give thanks and make merry, or else sit somber in quiet contemplation? Even those who, be they think themselves friendless and alone, yet are joined together in that time, for though they dwell apart, they are as one with us in spirit, and I would drink their health all the same were they right here with me now."
- Succo, The Final Day