Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #5: City of Thieves

Stories about games that you run and/or have played in.

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What FF should we Let's Play next?

#2: Citadel of Chaos
6
55%
#7: Island of the Lizard King
5
45%
 
Total votes: 11

Korgan0
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Post by Korgan0 »

BUY IT ALL
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

(OK. What about the fortune-teller?)

Dirk Von Facestabber III
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 22/24
LUCK: 12/12
Equipment: Broadsword, Leather Armor, Magnificent Shield (+1 Attack)
Potions: None
Provisions: 10 meals
Keys: None
Other: Throwing Knife, Climbing Rope, Butcher's Meat Hook, Iron Spike, Lantern
Gold Pieces: 72
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
Dr_Noface
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Post by Dr_Noface »

Why not? We got the cheddar to spare.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Sitting behind a small table is a plump woman wearing bright yellow clothes and a shawl over her head. She smiles as you enter, bidding you to sit down. She tells you that a glimpse of the future will cost you 2 Gold Pieces.

Do you wish to pay to hear her predictions or rather carry on unaided?
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
Username17
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Post by Username17 »

Dirk Von Facestabber did not come here to look around, he came here to hear the future!

-Username17
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Looking into a crystal ball, she seems to go into a trance. She tells you that you are searching for a wise man with magical powers. She pauses for a moment and draws in a deep breath before going on to tell you that the man you are looking for lives in a hut beneath a bridge to the north. She warns you to be careful when approaching the man, for he does not welcome strangers. Then she looks away from the crystal ball and asks you to leave. Her face seems to be hiding something. Has she seen some dreadful fate awaiting you? You decide to leave the tent and head north.

(Now we know that the Tor Johnson looking bartender wasn't lying to us.)

At the end of the market, a street called Bridge Street runs north out of the square. You decide to walk down it in the hope of finding the elusive Nicodemus. It starts to rain and the tumbledown houses huddled together on either side of the street look as if they need shelter themselves. Most have the windows boarded up and are empty. The door to one flaps noisily in the wind.

Do you wish to take refuge in the derelict house until the rain stops or rather press on ahead?

Dirk Von Facestabber III
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 22/24
LUCK: 12/12
Equipment: Broadsword, Leather Armor, Magnificent Shield (+1 Attack)
Potions: None
Provisions: 10 meals
Keys: None
Other: Throwing Knife, Climbing Rope, Butcher's Meat Hook, Iron Spike, Lantern
Gold Pieces: 70
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

Bah! It is nothing! A little rain will not worry Dirk Von Facestabber III!
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
Username17
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Post by Username17 »

Ramshackle huts are an invaluable thing to bust into and loot!
Into the ramshackle hut!
Dirk VonFacestabber has murderhoboing to attend to.

-Username17
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angelfromanotherpin
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

While Dirk surely fears no rain, in my mind he has awesome 80's hair that will not look nearly as bitchin' when wet. Hut.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

It is gloomy in the house but you can make out shapes of abandoned furniture. Litter and rubble is strewn all over the floor. You find a broken chair and slump down to rest. Suddenly you notice something slither across the floor, and before you can get to your feet you see in the half-light that you are encircled by six snakes, each a meter long.

Do you wish to hack at them with your sword or rather make a dash for the door?
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
Korgan0
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Post by Korgan0 »

INTO THE HUT
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angelfromanotherpin
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

What is this thing you call ruh-uhn? It's nothing a dragonslayer knows. Also, you seem to have miscounted, there are twelve snakes.

Or maybe six snakes each in two pieces.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

The SNAKES are not very tough opponents for a person trained in the art of swordsmanship. Treat them as a single creature. However, each Attack Round that they inflict a wound on you, 4 points must be subtracted from your STAMINA score because of their poisonous bite.

SNAKES SKILL 5 STAMINA 5

Combat Log:
Snakes 12, Dirk 21. Snakes are at 3.
Snakes 11, Dirk 18. Snakes are at 1.
Snakes 11, Dirk 23. Snakes are dead.
If you win, you may leave the house by the front door.

(Apparently the house was already looted bare. At least we had a good time killing the snakes.)

Outside the rain has stopped and you set off north again.

(And our 80s hair is not in danger.)
Image
Ahead you see a wooden bridge stretching over a dirty river. Various bits of rubbish are floating down to the sea on its dark surface, and you squirm at the sight of a human hand passing by. The bridge supports and columns reach high above, and you see skulls, both human and non-human, tied to them. The wind makes an eerie noise as it whistles through the bridge structures, reminding you of tortured souls crying out for help. Almost hidden from view is a small flight of steps going down underneath the bridge from where you are standing. A one-legged man carrying a sack is crossing the bridge from the northern bank.

Do you wish to climb down the steps or wait and talk to the man?

(We've been told twice that the crazy old wizard Ben Kenobi Nicodemus lives under this bridge.)
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
Dr_Noface
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Post by Dr_Noface »

If we talk to the man we'll probably have the option to fight him. Which we want to. Fight him.
Korgan0
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Post by Korgan0 »

DIRK VON FACESTABBER MOSTLY FIGHTS BUT HE ALSO TALKS

IF THERE IS FIGHTING SOON AFTERWARDS
Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

THERE IS A FACE THAT NEEDS STABBING.
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

The gaunt-faced man looks thoroughly miserable. He sees you and shrinks back, telling you that it is not worth robbing him because he has no money. You tell him that you do not wish to rob him but are seeking an old wizard named Nicodemus. He stares at you with a surprised expression on his face and says, "For 2 Gold Pieces, I'll tell you where he is." You decide to trust the man and pay him for his information. He pockets the gold and says, "You are standing on top of him! Nicodemus lives in a hut underneath this bridge." He throws back his head and lets out a shrill laugh, obviously pleased with himself. You shake your head and walk over to the steps that lead down beneath the bridge.

(Wait, no face stabbing? We was robbed. Suppose this is a City of Thieves, and even Dirk von Facestabber III is not immune to being cheated.)
Image
The smell by the water's edge is terrible. Above, you hear the sounds of footsteps crossing the wooden bridge. Built into the foundations of the bridge is a wooden hut. Drawn curtains obstruct your view into the hut but you know you are not welcome when you read the words "Keep Out" painted on the door in large red letters. You draw in a deep breath and knock on the door. You hear muttering and the shuffling of feet and suddenly the door is thrown open. Before you stands a white-haired old man with a long beard, wearing white robes. He gazes at you sternly and says, "Explain yourself to Nicodemus. You are elated at finding Nicodemus and tell him about Zanbar Bone's reign of terror in the town of Silverton and why Owen Carralif asked you to find his old friend to help them. Nicodemus frowns and and walks back inside his hut, telling you to follow him. He sits down in a rocking chair and starts to speak in a calm voice. "I am old and tired and wish for no more adventure. I live here under Singing Bridge in Port Blacksand to escape the pleas for aid from people fallen on hard times. Hence no one bothers me. But I do wish to help my old friend Owen. I will tell you how to defeat the Night Prince, Zanbar Bone. Listen carefully. Remember, you may defeat him only after sunset. In daylight hours he exists on another plane. No doubt he will have his servants to protect him, but should you get past them, you will need something special to deal with Bone himself. To protect yourself from his entrancing stare, you must have a white unicorn in a yellow sun tattooed on your forehead. Normal weapons will not harm him. First, you must shoot him through the heart with a silver arrow. This will paralyze him but not kill him. Then you must quickly rub the ground compound of black pearl, Hag's hair and a lotus flower in his open eyes. With luck, he will decay before you in seconds. If your arrow misses, I'm afraid you will die the moment he touches you. The items in the compound can all be found in Port Blacksand if you search hard enough. I regret I cannot accompany you." Nicodemus then draws you a map of how to reach Zanbar Bone's guarded tower from Port Blacksand. He stands up, shakes your hand and wishes you well. You leave his hut, climb the steps and cross the bridge over Catfish River. Bridge Street continues north a short distance before ending at a junction.

(This guy's a prick too; I see why Owen is his BFF.)

Do you wish to walk west down Harbor Street or turn east down Candle Street?

Dirk Von Facestabber III
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 22/24
LUCK: 12/12
Equipment: Broadsword, Leather Armor, Magnificent Shield (+1 Attack)
Potions: None
Provisions: 10 meals
Keys: None
Other: Throwing Knife, Climbing Rope, Butcher's Meat Hook, Iron Spike, Lantern
Gold Pieces: 68

EDIT: Fixed tags.
Last edited by Darth Rabbitt on Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
Dr_Noface
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Post by Dr_Noface »

Wait, we need a tattoo of a unicorn on our forehead? What the fuck.
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angelfromanotherpin
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

Tattoos are metal, but Dirk is going to have to have immense confidence in his sexuality (fornigalactic!) to get that thing on his forehead.

Also, white on yellow is a metal on a metal, that is very bad heraldry.

In any event, pearls and tattoos are both found in harbors, so Harbor Street it is.
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OgreBattle
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Post by OgreBattle »

Dr_Noface wrote:Wait, we need a tattoo of a unicorn on our forehead? What the fuck.
we need it to shoot an arrow into a guy's heart and rub chili powder into his open, paralyzed eyes.


I really like this adventure.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

Image
Was I really the only person who thought of this?
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Ogre: We're not killing just any guy in that manner, but a powerful lich who lives on another plane. Otherwise you're totally right.

Prak, that's almost exactly what came to mind for me; the funny part about it is that I'm not a My Little Pony fan by any stretch of the imagination.

And I think it's pretty clear that Dirk von Facestabber III is so badass that he can pull off any tattoo, even a rainbow on his butt, or an arrow on his cheek pointing to his mouth, with the words "Cock goes here."

(Also, anyone else going to vote? If there's nothing else by tomorrow I'll head west as angel suggested.)
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

I'll say west too.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Darth Rabbitt
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

You pass a beggar in the street. He is standing in the gutter and holds an empty tin in his hand.

Do you wish to toss a Gold Piece into his tin or rather walk past him?
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

Let it never be said the mighty murderhobo DIRK VON FACESTABBER III is not also kind to the unfortunate! Let the beggar have a coin!
Last edited by Prak on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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