The Unpublishable

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 2:53 pm

Ancient History wrote:huh

You have Playing D&D with Porn Stars in your favorite blogs list. The word "porn" is on literally every page of your blog.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 3:13 pm

This is true, I just hadn't remembered typing in "horse's scrotum" during the last couple of years.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 6:05 pm

Ancient History wrote:This is true, I just hadn't remembered typing in "horse's scrotum" during the last couple of years.

Is Tyler Durdon writing some of your blog entries?

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 6:11 pm

As much as I'd like to blame mental illness...no. It's just I've got about 120 of them so far, so it can sometimes be a bit much to keep track of.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 11:46 pm

Scheherazade she ain't. "Story Doctor", only on the Unpublishable: http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2013/0 ... octor.html

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Mon Aug 05, 2013 1:42 pm

sorry, i'm late:

so of a spring day it was not strange to see her cow or one of her three goats had wandered up on top of it.

that should be an on there as the second word

and more often than not she’d pour a measure from the corn-still in there was well

as well, not was well. for it wasn't all as well as it could have been

A man came to her with his complaint, and he was a forthright man for he gave no complaints and did not dither about but told her was the matter.

he had a complaint but he had not complaint? @.@
he told her was the matter? what was the matter?

So she set the tea and fetched a bit of bread with sold mold on it from out the house

sold mold? and he bought it?

and for some time then he lived along.

alone i'd guess, not along anymore.

for even young as she was she might weary at games

i am not sure here, wether i am just not well versed enough in the flowery language of poetry or wether the grammar is wrong there <.<;,

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue Aug 06, 2013 1:06 pm

Stahlseele wrote:sorry, i'm late:
so of a spring day it was not strange to see her cow or one of her three goats had wandered up on top of it.
that should be an on there as the second word

Either works in this case, though 'of' is a bit more obscure and maybe not the most technically correct term.

for even young as she was she might weary at games
i am not sure here, wether i am just not well versed enough in the flowery language of poetry or wether the grammar is wrong there <.<;,

It's correct as written, but I added an 'as' for clarity.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:43 pm

*pokes it* O.o

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Mon Aug 12, 2013 10:01 pm

Sorry, on vacation. I had blogger post it automatically on Friday, I just never got around to posting the link here:

http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2013/0 ... satan.html

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Mon Aug 12, 2013 10:32 pm

Aaah!
Enjoy your Vacation then ^^

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:51 am

daschund

dachshund?

cheap steal

cheap steel?

whetstone too it

whetstone to it?

hadn’t flow far

hadn’t flown far?

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Fri Aug 16, 2013 3:04 pm

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:25 pm

http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2013/0 ... -evil.html

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Tue Aug 20, 2013 6:58 pm

found only one thing that leaped out as wrong to me:

and the fishbowl helmet that look like a sphere of black crystal you could check your reflection in

correct at your leisure.

well written this one, i'd like to read a bit more about these two after having gotten some more star wars maybe? ^^

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:56 am

You may well get your wish...

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 4:24 am

Still midnight somewhere. More Star Wars fanfic on the Unpublishable; Eiven Task returns in "Planet of the Lightsabers." http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2013/0 ... abers.html

Corsair114 · Post by **Corsair114** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:05 am

Ancient History wrote:Still midnight somewhere. More Star Wars fanfic on the Unpublishable; Eiven Task returns in "Planet of the Lightsabers." http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2013/0 ... abers.html

The only thing I read that really stuck out as awkward was this sentence from the first paragraph:

Cursing his mother for giving birth to a foolish and unlucky bastard, and began calculating vectors and possible routes of escape.

Other than that, it was a thoroughly enjoyable read.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:38 pm

with a dusting of powder on his face and around his eyes and his teeth was some sort of ceramic and faced with little gems when he smiled.

his teeth were right?

to Task’s right on of Malarkov’s men misjudged his swing and took off three of his own toes

one of

By the time the klaxon sounded again and the sides move apart

moved apart

Both of them regained their feet

footing. i kinda doubt they had lost their feet O.o

The both moved in close

They. Or is there a both fighting too?

and Eiven knew they must be made of Mandalorian iron

not sure but should the time not be in the past too here? so knew that they must have been made?

Then his prosthetic left hand swiveled at an impossible about at the wrist

what is an impossible about? o.O

and as screamed some more as the flesh began to tear away from the bones as he kept pulling

he? she?

Malarkov was good as his word

good to his word right?

@Corsair114
i found a bit more ^^

@AH
Yes, very enjoyable.
Such a pity that you don't write for shadowrun.
Finally somebody who knows how to be mean and cunning and make the most of his abilities and cyber!

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:38 pm

No, in English it's "good as his word."

[/edit]Oops, forgot: Thank's Stahl! Thanks Corsair!

Corsair114 · Post by **Corsair114** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 9:36 pm

Stahlseele wrote:
@Corsair114
i found a bit more ^^

Just means I've got a ways to go before my eyes are as sharp as yours.

@AH

You're welcome.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:39 am

Today on the Unpublishable is "Price of Alicorn," a tale of the Elf Cup. NSFW. http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2013/0 ... icorn.html

Bihlbo · Post by **Bihlbo** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 7:33 pm

I still have no earthly idea what the Elf Cup is, other than something you don't want to be, but this story was great. These elves are interesting, as opposed to others I've read about.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue Sep 03, 2013 7:37 pm

It's a sort of formal prostitute designated to keep the elves entertained.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 11:40 pm

Did not find anything that jumped out at me as wrong in this one! ^^

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 11:43 pm