[LP] DestinyQuest 2: The Heart of Fire

[SGamerz]

Check the other bedroom.

[Omegonthesane]

Sure let's go with that.

The Zombie Survival Guide recommends destroying the stairs once you've managed to climb up them, but we don't know how long we'll be holed up here.

[RogueOne]

OOO, PRETTY LIGHT

[Darth Rabbitt]

(2 votes for checking out the bedroom beats 1 vote for checking out the light.)

You push open the door. It takes a few minutes for your eyes to accustom to the darkness. It looks as though the room was once used as a nursery. There is a wooden cot pushed up into one corner and a small bed beside it. A number of dolls and toys lie scattered across the floor.
You are about to leave and return to the landing, when your eyes catch on something lurking in the shadows: a child, small and hunched over, dressed in a leather vest and breeches. Its head is resting against the wall, its arms hanging limp at its side. You can faintly hear a sad, wet-sounding moan coming from its direction.

Will you:
Approach the child?
Quietly leave the room and go downstairs?

[Omegonthesane]

No option to approach the child weapon point first on the assumption it's a fucking zombie.

Approach the child. If we quietly leave, it'll gank us.

[SGamerz]

Yeah, 100% a zombie child. Go kill it!

[angelfromanotherpin]

Approach aggressively.

[RogueOne]

Obvious zombie is obvious.

Kill it!

[Darth Rabbitt]

Nervously, you grip your weapons and approach the child. Although you fear the worst, there is always a chance that this child might have survived the strange blight that has affected the rest of the village. Your foot knocks into one of the wooden toys, sending it scraping and clattering across the floor.
The child's back straightens. For a moment, there is a heavy unsettling silence. You stand frozen, not even daring to breathe. Then the child spins around, hissing and snarling—its face drawing a shocked gasp from you. It is no human child—it is a goblin! The creature staggers towards you, wrinkled fingers raised, displaying its sharpened claws. From its blank expression and shambling gait, it is clear that this creature is now a zombie like the others. You must fight:

	Speed	Brawn	Armor	Health
Ghastly goblin	2	2	1	20

This thing's almost as strong as the Manticore. And beats us in Speed since we don't have Benin with us.
Round 1: Patio 6+1 (charm'd, 8+1), Goblin 7+2. Tie.
Round 2: Patio 8+1, Goblin 8+2. (prophecy'd, no damage.)
Round 3: Patio 7+1, Goblin 5+2. Damage 2+5+2(savagery'd)-1=8. Goblin is at 12. *Bleed* Goblin is at 11.
Round 4: Patio 10+1, Goblin 3+2. Damage 2+5-1=6, goblin is at 5. *Bleed* Goblin is at 4.
Round 5: Patio 6+1, Goblin 11+2. Damage 5+2-2=5, Patio is at 25. *Bleed* Goblin is at 3.
Round 6: Patio 9+1, Goblin 7+2. Damage 6+5-1=10, goblin is dead!

With the goblin defeated, you search its body. You find 10 gold crowns and may take any/all of the following items:

Rusted knife (main hand: dagger) +1 speed ability: bleed
Pilfered ring (ring) +1 magic
Wishing well coin (talisman) ability: charm

You wonder what a goblin would be doing in such a village. Perhaps it came here to loot or seek shelter, but somehow it became infected by the zombie curse. It is a thought that sends a shiver up your spine. Will you suffer the same fate? Grimly, you turn away from the body and head back onto the landing. The light is still flickering from the room below, so you decide to investigate.

You descend the stairs, worried that the creaking from the wooden boards will alert others to your presence. However, the persistent banging coming from the zombies outside has probably masked much of the noise. The front door gives a shudder as something heavy slams against it. You doubt it will hold for much longer.
Turning to the side door, you see that it is slightly ajar. Flickering shadows dance in the space beyond, cast by a lantern or a fire. Steeling yourself for what you might find, you push open the door, wincing as it gives a grating squeal.
You step into the room. A quick scan reveals a lantern resting on a table top, surrounded by books and piles of crumpled papers. Against the far wall, a writing desk has been overturned and a chair lies on its side.
Then you feel the cold kiss of a flint-lock pistol against your cheek. Someone is standing right beside you, just out of your eye-line. You can smell sweat and leather, and the faint hint of wood smoke.
Instinctively, you slam your elbow into their side, falling forwards as a bullet hums overhead, hitting a mirror in the far wall and sending fragments of glass showering in all directions. The room fills with the smell of brimstone and sulfur. You spin around, taking a kick in the chest. Still unable to focus on your attacks, you roll over—dragging yourself under the table as another bullet slams into the ground, creating a charred crater in the wood.
'Damn it...' hisses a voice.
You slide out from underneath the table, springing onto your feet and falling into a battle stance. At last, you are able to look upon your attacker. It is a man, dressed in an open black coat. The hilts of various swords and daggers are visible from his waist band. A battered capotain rests on his head, the brim shadowing his eyes. He is muttering to himself as he struggles to wrestle another pistol from a holster inside his coat. Catching your eye, he stops, his pale mouth twitching into a half-smile.
'I used to be faster than this,' he says hoarsely. 'You're no zombie.'
'So I'm lucky on both counts.' Your weapons remained raised. There is something familiar to you about this man.
'And you make enough noise to wake the dead.' He cocks his head in the direction of the front door—where the zombies are still banging to get in. You catch a glimmer of sharp canines, protruding from the man's gums. His skin is pallid, his hollow cheeks giving him a similar appearance to the undead outside.
'And what about you?' you ask warily.
'Well, a couple of gunshots has probably done it now...'
'I meant, are you...like those things out there?'
The man gives a sigh, then removes his hat, doffing it to you in greeting. His eyes are like pale discs, full moons shining in an equally white face. He grins, revealing his sharp canines once again.
'Eldias Falks...' you gasp, recognizing the witchfinder who handed you over to the inquisition. The witchfinder who accused you of murder.
The man staggers over to the table, resting his palms on the surface to recover his breath. His movements appear sluggish and pained. 'I see my reputation proceeds me.' He meets your gaze with a half-cocked smile. 'But as you can see, perhaps I'm something of a disappointment: a shadow of what I once was.'
'You're a vampire.' You step back, glass crunching underfoot.
Eldias glares at you with his pale, unnatural eyes. 'A hazard of my profession, I'm afraid.' He licks his lips, his gaze falling to your arm. You look down to see a small shard of glass protruding from your skin. Blood has started to seep out of the wound.

Will you:
Reveal how you know him?
Ask about the zombies in the village?
Ask how he became a vampire?
Ask why he is in Blight Haven?

While he is briefly mentioned in the intro of this book, Eldias Falk might also be familiar if you read the previous LP--he was the witchfinder from the vampire quest in that book, although he wasn't a vampire then.

Also pick any/all loot from the goblin's corpse that we want to take.

Name: Mr. Patio
Speed: +1, Brawn: +5, Magic: +4, Armor: +2
Health: 30

Slot	Item	Speed	Brawn	Magic	Armor	Ability
Head	White Mane		+1	+1		Charm
Necklace	Blood Iron Knot				+1	Charm
Cloak	Saddle Blanket				+1
Main Hand	Cutthroat's Carver		+1	+1		Bleed
Left Hand	Manticore's Tooth		+1			Savagery
Gloves
Chest	Rider's Jerkin	+1
Feet
Talisman	Crow Feather			+1
Ring 1	All Hallow's Ring		+1
Ring 2	Warded Wood		+1	+1

Backpack	Item
1	Pot of healing
2	Pumpkin squash (2 uses)
3	Troll's Bones
4	Goblin Bones
5

Safe House	Item
1
2
3
4

Prophecy
bones
sure blade
calling
prevail
Map of Carvel
Money Pouch: 41 Crowns

[Omegonthesane]

Full vote to take rusted knife because +1 speed beats +1 damage and it retains bleed.

Half a vote to take wishing well talisman, since more charm is more charm and we are currently a Brawn fighter not a Magic fighter.

Eat the whole exposition tree from the top down.

[SGamerz]

Agree to loot choice, but I'd prefer to leave the reveal as the last option in case it makes a difference.

[angelfromanotherpin]

I'm with SGamerz, although I doubt it will actually matter.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(We can keep the cutthroat's carver and crow feather in the safe house if we want, although I don't believe that we have to. I'll assume that we do stash them there, though, unless there are objections.)

About the zombies:
'Ah yes, our good friends—the zombies.' The witchfinder glances back towards the latticed window, where dark shapes are moving behind the glass. 'I've managed to piece together what happened here. It appears that the well water was poisoned.
'Poisoned!' You blink back surprise. 'Why? Who would do that to an entire village?'
Eldias gives you a look from the corner of his eye. 'I've seen worse acts of revenge.'
'Revenge for what?'
The witchfinder gestures to the piles of papers and books. 'They discovered that one of their number was a vampire. His name was Rorus Satch, an unassuming man who liked to study herbs. He was just unlucky—met the wrong person. He was bitten.' Eldias leans his neck to one side, rubbing it with his hand. 'I know the feeling.'
'So he poisoned the well? Because they found him out?'
The witchfinder smiles. 'It was actually his apprentice. Who then fled the village. But I don't think it really matters now—do you?'

How he became a vampire:
'An unfortunate mistake on my part,' says the witchfinder, his hungry eyes flicking to your wound. You step away warily. 'I'm sorry,' he smiles weakly, putting a hand to his mouth. 'I haven't...I haven't taken blood. You don't have to worry.'
You frown, your grip still tight around your weapons. 'Isn't that what your kind needs—craves? It's what keeps you alive.'
The witchfinder leans forward, his pale eyes glimmering like stars in the lantern light. 'I am dying. Can't you see that? I have very little strength—my sight is...' He clenches his fists, looking away, greasy strands of hair fall across his face. 'I cannot tell you what it is like; the hunger is...indescribable. But I will not...become a monster.'

Why he's in Blight Haven:
'There was a man who once lived in this village—Rorus Satch. He was working on a cure for vampirism. He was looking for a way to cure himself.'
'How do you know all this?' you ask, bewildered.
Eldias cracks his knuckles. 'I found his apprentice. And after some persuasion, he was willing to talk.'
You glance over at the scattered papers and the overturned writing desk. 'And have you found the cure?'
The witchfinder shakes his head. 'This is not his house, but I have already searched there...everywhere. All his books, all his journals, have been taken.' He walks over to the desk and stoops down, plucking something from the floor. It is a painting of a man, held in a cracked glass frame. He holds it out to you.
Taking the picture, you tilt it towards the light. It shows a middle-aged man, thin and gaunt, with pepper-grey eyes and a thick mane of silver hair. 'Who is this?' you ask.
Eldias watches you, his jaw clenched. 'The reverend. The man I am here to kill.'

Revealing how you know him:
Eldias frowns as he listens to your accusation. 'Yes,' he nods, tilting his head to one side as he looks you up and down. 'I remember you. But you look different: thinner, leaner. Less meat.'
'Is that all you have to say?' You glower angrily. 'I was made a prisoner of the inquisition. You know what happened to that child was an accident. I'm no murderer!'
Eldias waves at you dismissively. 'I was doing my job, what do you expect? I didn't hand you over because of what you did—I gave you to the inquisition because of what you are.'
'Then what am I?' you snap, glaring at him intently. 'Enlighten me.'
Eldias looks about to say something, then checks himself—choosing his words carefully. 'You were lost to some kind of vision when you attacked the boy. He was trying to help you; he was trying to give you water. He didn't know any better. You were not accountable for your actions. I know that.'
'You didn't answer the question.'
Eldias shrugs his shoulders. 'You could be many things. But I think you might be a prophet; someone who sees future events, glimpses possible destinies. It's a fine gift, but one that is also dangerous. You need to control it—you need to know how to use it.'
'Were you hoping the inquisition would teach me?' you reply petulantly. 'They had me chained in a cell while some clown filled me full of Elysium—they questioned me again and again and...' you stop, aware the banging outside has intensified. From somewhere close you hear glass breaking. A window.
Eldias drops a hand to one of his swords. 'Well, you can either take your anger out on me or them,' he says. 'But I reckon your chances of survival are going to be considerably better with me at your side.'

(Angel was right about the order making no difference).

Continuing our quest:
There are further bangs from the hallway. You hear splintering wood and the snarling cries of the undead. Grimly, you realize that the only way out of this room is through the small lattice window.
'Did you have a plan to escape?' you ask, moving quickly to the door and peering through the crack. You see clawed hands trying to tear their way through the front door.
When you look back, you see Eldias watching you with an intent expression. 'I need your help,' he says. 'The reverend of the village, Septimus Palatine, is one of the undead. But a very powerful one. The villagers turned on him when the first of their number fell to the poison. They were angry that the One God was not curing them of the strange curse—they blamed the reverend. I suppose it was no surprise he'd lock himself in that church.'
'But that's on top of the hill,' you gasp. 'We'll never reach it!'
There is the sound of snapping wood followed by a loud bang. You turn to see zombies spilling into the hall, clawing and grappling at each other to get through the doorway. Their waxy, yellow skin is slick with rainwater.
Eldias grabs the overturned chair and hurries to the door. Kicking it closed, he pushes the chair underneath the handle. Then he turns to you, his eerie pale eyes inches from your own. 'The reverend fell to the curse—but his magic has made him strong, different to the others. He is no mindless zombie. He is a powerful lich and he must be defeated.'
You shake your head frantically, as the door buckles and shakes. On the other side, you can hear the howling, shrieking mob, 'We'll never make it!'
Eldias grabs your shoulders, holding you tight. 'Listen to me! I think Rorus Satch, the herbalist, was close to discovering a cure for vampirism. I need that cure! But the reverend has all his books, all his learning. He is using them to grow more powerful. I must get to the church, but I can't do it alone.'
'But how will we defeat the undead?' you ask desperately.
Eldias opens out his coat, revealing an array of weapons and other strange items tucked into the lining. 'The witchfinder's motto,' he grins. 'Always be prepared! Come, take what you need, I cannot use these—they are as dangerous to me as they are to the zombies.
If you wish, you may help yourself to two of the following items:

Sanctified ashes (2 uses) (backpack) Scatter these to protect yourself from harm. Ability: ashes (use at the start of combat to increase armor by 1 for the duration of the combat)
Holy water (2 uses) (backpack) Use instead of rolling for a damage score to inflict 2 damage dice to an undead opponent ignoring armor
Angelica wreath (backpack) A woven ring of white flowered herbs. Ability: holy protector (passive: each undead opponent takes 1 point of damage at the end of every combat round, ignoring armor)

Pick up to 2 loot(s) to proceed. I have no idea why taking all three isn't an option since Eldias can't use any of them. And if we take two, indicate what backpack item we want to replace the second with (and whether we want to discard the item we replace or send it to the safe house.)

Name: Mr. Patio
Speed: +2, Brawn: +4, Magic: +2, Armor: +2
Health: 30

Slot	Item	Speed	Brawn	Magic	Armor	Ability
Head	White Mane		+1	+1		Charm
Necklace	Blood Iron Knot				+1	Charm
Cloak	Saddle Blanket				+1
Main Hand	Rusted Knife	+1				Bleed
Left Hand	Manticore's Tooth		+1			Savagery
Gloves
Chest	Rider's Jerkin	+1
Feet
Talisman	Wishing Well Coin					Charm
Ring 1	All Hallow's Ring		+1
Ring 2	Warded Wood		+1	+1

Backpack	Item
1	Pot of healing
2	Pumpkin squash (2 uses)
3	Troll's Bones
4	Goblin Bones
5

Safe House	Item
1	Cutthroat's Carver
2	Crow Feather
3
4

Prophecy
bones
sure blade
calling
prevail
Map of Carvel
Money Pouch: 41 Crowns

[Omegonthesane]

Stash the bones if we're going to fight a lich, take the angelica wreath and some holy water, wonder why Eldias can't use sanctified ashes when they don't actually hurt the undead but rather protect the user.

[SGamerz]

Take wreath and holy water.

Isn't there a charm-maker in Carvel who collects bones to make trinket. I assume the bones we've collected so far are meant to be sold to him. Stash them and sell after this quest?

[RogueOne]

Not to dampen the mood, but is it realistic from an RP perspective to be able to stash things in the safe house when we're trapped in a village surrounded by undead? I suppose we could hide items in this house, and then do some weird return to it assuming we clear the place of zombies... but it still tastes off to me.

[Omegonthesane]

"We drop this thing right now. When we're safe, we pick it up and put it in the safe house. We can only take it from the safe house if we make it out alive. If we don't make it out alive we have bigger problems."

[Darth Rabbitt]

(Yes, there is a charm-maker looking for bones in Carvel. And given how weird this book's rules can be I don't think stashing the bones is unreasonable at all.)

Eldias removes a gourd from his coat, plucking out the stopper with his teeth. He them moves swiftly to the window, pouring its contents along the floor. It looks like a fine black powder.
'What is that?' you ask with interest.
The witchfinder doesn't answer. Instead he snatches the lantern from the table, just as the window is smashed inwards by a pair of grasping hands. Through the shattered glass, you see white flashes of rainwater and an endless bobbing sea of heads...
Eldias overturns the table, scattering books and papers across the floor. He then moves around the table, ducking down behind it. He urges you to do the same.
You huddle down beside the witchfinder, confused as to what is happening. Eldias is breathing hard, his eyes feverishly bright. 'Listen to me,' he gasps. 'I am weak—I may not make it through this. But understand that the reverend must be stopped—at all costs.'
The door of the room buckles inwards, the chair that was holding it scraping across the floor. A swarm of hands appear through the gap, struggling to get through.
When you glance over at Eldias, you see that he is regarding you with a thin smile. 'You're a prophet,' he says, raising an eyebrow. 'And you're telling me you don't know how this will end?'
You shake your head. 'I sometimes see my own death, if that helps?'
Eldias is silent for a moment, the lantern flame mirrored in each of his ghostly eyes. 'Hmm, probably not.' He twists around, peering over the top of the table. 'Okay, my friend. Well, I'm no prophet but I always knew one thing...' He swings the lantern over his shoulder, sending it rattling through the air to smash against the far wall. 'I knew I'd go out in a blaze of glory.' He ducks down, covering his ears. You follow suit as an enormous, bone-jarring explosion sends glass, wood and plaster flying in all directions. Then Eldias is moving, vaulting over the table with a flint-lock pistol in each hand.
You follow behind him, coughing and choking on the thick smoke. Through the haze, you see flames licking at what is left of the wall. Most of it has been completely blasted away, creating a jagged opening leading out onto the village square.
Leaping over charred bodies and debris, the witchfinder unloads one bullet after another into the crowd of zombies. For a moment, you are captivated by the sight—his fierce countenance, the blazing guns, his cries of impassioned fury—he is like some avatar of vengeance, a living part of the very storm that surrounds him.
You hurry to the witchfinder's side, cutting and blasting your way through the howling, snarling masses of undead. But there are so many of them now, surrounding you, clawing at you, dragging at your clothes and armor. You must fight:

	Speed	Brawn	Armor	Health
Enraged zombies	2	2	1	25

Special Abilities
Back from the dead: When the zombies have been reduced to zero health, roll a die. If you roll 1 or 2 they rise from the dead once more, and regain 6 health. If the zombies are reduced to zero health a second time, then they will no longer rise from the dead.
Undead: You may use your ashes, holy water and holy protector abilities against the zombies.
(The ashes ability description kind of forgot to mention it's undead only in the ability index. For whatever reason it's only listed under the Undead ability here. It does explain why Eldias can't use it though.)

Round 1: Patio 5+2, Zombies 8+2 (charm'd, Patio 10+2.) Damage 3+4-1+2 (savagery'd) =8. Zombies are at 17. *DoTs* Zombies are at 15.
Round 2: Patio 7+2 (charm'd, 11+2), Zombies 7+2. Damage 4+4-1=7, Zombies are at 8. *DoTs* Zombies are at 6.
Round 3: Patio 6+2, Zombies 10+2. (Prophecy'd, no damage.) *DoTs* Zombies are at 4.
Round 4: Patio 9+2, Zombies 12+2. Damage 3+2-2=3, Patio's at 27. *DoTs* Zombies are at 2.
Round 5: Patio 5+2, Zombies 9+2. Damage 2+2-2=2, Patio's at 25. *DoTs* Zombies are at 0.
Die roll=4, zombies fail to come back from the dead. Zombies are dead!

Ahead of you, Eldias has already reached the stone well. The witchfinder has swapped his pistols for a pair of magical swords, which he spins in a rapid whirlwind of steel, slicing through the cadaverous monsters that stand in his way.
Wiping the rain and sweat from your eyes you hurry onwards, your gaze lifting to the church on the hilltop. Ghostly lights are flickering from within, the reverberating hum of the organ reaching a sinister crescendo.
Suddenly, you are hit by something hard and powerful, which sends you sprawling backwards, sliding across the wet stone. Groggily, you lift your head, stars spinning before your eyes. It is some seconds before you can properly focus on the whirling colors and shapes that are lurching towards you.
It's something big—very big.
Rain is spraying off its broad shoulders, forming a cloak of sparkling droplets. It is a half-giant, nearly seven feet tall and almost half as wide, clutching a meat cleaver in one hand and a front door in the other. Its dull, blank expression makes it obvious that this is another zombie—that, and the gooey mass of innards that are hanging out of its bloated, diseased body. It is time to fight:

	Speed	Brawn	Armor	Health
Gutless	3	3	2	30

Special Abilities
Blood n' guts: The zombie's trailing guts can be a help and a hinderance. At the start of each combat round, roll a die. If the result is 1 or 2 then you get tangled up in its stringy guts and must reduce your speed by 1 for that combat round. If the result is 3 or more then Gutless gets tangled up in its own guts, reducing his speed by 1 for that combat round.
Undead: You may use your ashes, holy water and holy protector abilities against this zombie.

Round 1: Dic roll: 4, Gutless is tangled. Patio 6+2, Gutless 7+2 (charm'd, Patio 7+2.) Tie. *holy protector* Gutless is at 29.
Round 2: Die roll: 1, Patio is tangled. Patio 12+1, Gutless 8+3. Damage 5+4-2+2(savagery'd)=9, Gutless is at 20. *DoTs* Gutless is at 18.
Round 3: Die roll: 5, Gutless is tangled. Patio 6+2, Gutless 11+2 (prophecy'd, no damage.) *DoTs* Gutless is at 16.
Round 4: Die roll: 6, Gutless is tangled. Patio 6+2 (charm'd, 10+2), Gutless 8+2. Damage 2+4-2=4, Gutless is at 12. *DoTs* Gutless is at 10.
Round 5: Die roll: 1, Patio is tangled. Patio 8+1, Gutless 5+3. Damage 2+4-2=4, Gutless is at 6. *DoTs* Gutless is at 4.
Round 6: Die roll: 4, Gutless is tangled. Patio 10+2, Gutless 11+2. Damage 3+3-2=4. Patio's at 26. *DoT* Gutless is at 2.
Round 7: Die roll: 1, Patio is tangled. Patio 6+1, Gutless 5+3. Damage 1+3-2=2, Patio's at 24. *DoT* Gutless is dead.

The undead behemoth topples backwards, crashing to the ground with a sickening crunch. After disentangling yourself from its gooey innards, you begin a hasty search for anything of value.
You find 10 Gold Crowns and one of the following rewards:
Cruel cleaver (left hand: cleaver) +2 brawn
Doorman (left hand: shield) +1 armor ability: slam (1/combat, stop an opponent from rolling from damage and reduce their speed by 1 for the next round)
Giant bones (backpack) These might prove valuable to the right person

Pick a loot to proceed. (Apparently Zombie Hagrid here had two left hands.)

Name: Mr. Patio
Speed: +2, Brawn: +4, Magic: +2, Armor: +2
Health: 30

Slot	Item	Speed	Brawn	Magic	Armor	Ability
Head	White Mane		+1	+1		Charm
Necklace	Blood Iron Knot				+1	Charm
Cloak	Saddle Blanket				+1
Main Hand	Rusted Knife	+1				Bleed
Left Hand	Manticore's Tooth		+1			Savagery
Gloves
Chest	Rider's Jerkin	+1
Feet
Talisman	Wishing Well Coin					Charm
Ring 1	All Hallow's Ring		+1
Ring 2	Warded Wood		+1	+1

Backpack	Item
1	Pot of Healing
2	Pumpkin Squash (2 uses)
3	Holy Water (2 uses)
4	Angelica Wreath (ability: holy protector)
5

Safe House	Item
1	Cutthroat's Carver
2	Crow Feather
3	Troll's Bones
4	Goblin Bones

Prophecy
bones
sure blade
calling
prevail
Map of Carvel
Money Pouch: 51 Crowns

[angelfromanotherpin]

Slam is a pretty sweet ability, but its attached item will be obsolete super fast. I'd bet that whatever we get for giant bones will last longer.

Bones!

[Omegonthesane]

Finish collecting bones, yes.

[SGamerz]

More bones to our collection.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(Once again I apologize for the week-and-a-half long wait.)

A body goes hurtling past you, kicking and jerking as it is consumed in yellow flames. You spin around to see Eldias fending off a crowd of zombies. One of his hands is glowing with a yellow-orange light, the glow caught in his dazzling eyes.
'I judge you!' he screams, rainwater pouring like a sparkling curtain from the brim of his hat. 'And I find you guilty!' The witchfinder sends another bolt of magic from his hand, slamming into two of the undead and sending them writhing through the air.
Then you feel hands wrapping around your legs. In horror, you realize that the half-giant is still moving. Its massive hands now have a hold of you, dragging you down to the rain-slick ground. As you try and fend it off, a group of zombies break away from Eldias, hurrying towards you, snarling and howling with hunger. From the corner of your eye, you see another group closing in as well.
You cry out to Eldias for help as the horde descend on you, suffocating you in a tight press of stinking, rotting bodies. You will need to fend off their attacks until the witchfinder can reach you:

	Speed	Brawn	Armor	Health
Zombie horde	3	3	2	28

Special Abilities
Unstoppable!: You only need to fend off the zombie horde until Eldias can reach you. (See below.)
All pile on!: There is very little room to maneuver. You cannot use special abilities or backpack items in this fight.

Round 1: Patio 10+2, Horde 5+3. Damage 1+4-2=3, horde is at 25.
Round 2: Patio 9+2, Horde 10+3. Damage 5+3-2=6, Patio is at 24.
Round 3: Patio 2+2, Horde 5+3. Damage 3+3-2=4, Patio is at 20.
Round 4: Patio 9+2, Horde 9+3. Damage 6+3-2=7, Patio is at 13.
Round 5: Patio 6+2, Horde 2+3. Damage 5+4-2=7, horde is at 18.

(Patio managed to survive to the end of the fifth combat round. Patio did not defeat the zombie horde within five combat rounds.)

You are pushed to the edge of exhaustion, your own cries of pain mingling with those of the zombies. For each adversary you beat back with your weapons and magic, there is another to take its place. At last your legs buckle beneath you, your weapons falling from numb hands, while all around you the zombies continue to close in, promising you a slow and painful death.
All of a sudden, the nearest zombie blows up in a shower of body parts. You hear a cry and the sound of ringing steel. Something flies pas your head—it might have been an arm. A zombie staggers and then falls on top of you, expelling black gunge from its mouth. The blade of a dagger protrudes from the back of its head.
With revulsion, you push the body away, to find Eldias standing over you. He sheathes his swords and then doffs his hat to you. 'Welcome to the party, my friend.'
Taking his hand, you stumble back to your feet, aware that you are now standing at the center of a vast circle of zombie corpses. Eldias has saved your life. Still shaking from your ordeal, you retrieve your weapons from the rotted remains.

The sound of rattling hooves alerts you to your next danger. Eldias moves beside you, tugging another flint-lock pistol from his coat. At first, the sound echoes all around you, making it impossible to discern its direction. You both spin on the spot, eyes scanning the darkest shadows.
Then you hear the whinny of a horse and a cackle of laughter. From between the buildings a skeletal steed races out into the square, hooves glowing with a spectral light. On its back is a black-coated apparition—a highwayman—with the head of a flaming skull. In one of its fists is a scythe and in the other a pistol.
'The reaper has come for you!' snarls the skull. 'Expect no mercy from the scythe of doom!' At that moment, the church organ thunders with a chilling refrain as a jagged bolt of lightning streaks down from the heavens, striking the blade of the scythe and bathing it in crackling energy. 'Your end is night!' The skull breaks off into a maniac cackle of demonic laughter...
BOOM!
Which is abruptly cut short as the skull is blown back off its shoulders, rolling and bumping along the round like a child's ball. There is a pained groan, then the headless body slumps off the horse into the mud. The riderless mount gives a terrified screech before galloping away as fast as its legs can carry it.
There is a breath of silence.
Stunned, you turn to see Eldias holding a smoking pistol. He gives a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. 'What can I say. I hate theatrics.'
His smile quickly fades, however, when the devilish laughter rings out once again. The skull has lifted up into air, flames billowing from its eye sockets. The headless body staggers to its feet, swaying slightly as it finds its balance. Then, together, the two undead foes move to attack.
'Figured that'd be too easy,' grunts the witchfinder. You must now fight:

	Speed	Magic	Armor	Health
Headless	2	3	2	35
Flaming skull	-	0	2	20

Special Abilities
Searing skull: At the end of every combat round you automatically take 2 points of damage from the skull's flames. If the skull is defeated, this damage no longer applies.
Head case: The skull is immune to bleed.
Wrath of the witchfinder: Eldias adds 2 to your damage score in this combat.

If you win a combat round against Headless, you can choose to apply your damage to Headless or the Flaming skull. If Headless is defeated, then the skull (if it is still alive) is automatically defeated also, winning you the encounter.

(Headless and the Flaming Skull are literally described as "undead foes", although they do not have the undead ability that our earlier foes had, and unlike the zombie horde where Patio couldn't use items or abilities due to being cornered (making the tag redundant in that scenario), there's no reason given for this, and both the angelica wreath and holy water specify that they work on undead foes, which according to their description should include these guys. I guess the question is whether the monster description or the item description should take precedence. What do you readers think? And if you think it's applicable, should we use holy water on any of them?)

Name: Mr. Patio
Speed: +2, Brawn: +4, Magic: +2, Armor: +2
Health: 30

Slot	Item	Speed	Brawn	Magic	Armor	Ability
Head	White Mane		+1	+1		Charm
Necklace	Blood Iron Knot				+1	Charm
Cloak	Saddle Blanket				+1
Main Hand	Rusted Knife	+1				Bleed
Left Hand	Manticore's Tooth		+1			Savagery
Gloves
Chest	Rider's Jerkin	+1
Feet
Talisman	Wishing Well Coin					Charm
Ring 1	All Hallow's Ring		+1
Ring 2	Warded Wood		+1	+1

Backpack	Item
1	Pot of Healing
2	Pumpkin Squash (2 uses)
3	Holy Water (2 uses)
4	Angelica Wreath (ability: holy protector)
5	Giant Bones

Safe House	Item
1	Cutthroat's Carver
2	Crow Feather
3	Troll's Bones
4	Goblin Bones

Prophecy
bones
sure blade
calling
prevail
Map of Carvel
Money Pouch: 51 Crowns

[Omegonthesane]

I think it's a god damn typo.

Rush Headless for the crime of not being immune to Bleed, particularly if we can use holy water and still have Bleed stack.

[angelfromanotherpin]

I concur with Omegon, except for the use of holy water. Against an enemy with armor this low, the damage bump isn't worth the expendable.

[Starmaker]

Stunned, you turn to see Eldias holding a smoking pistol. He gives a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. 'What can I say. I hate theatrics.'

Things Eldias hates:

1. Theatrics
2. Hypocrisy
3. Lists