More Threads that make us Laugh, Cry, or Both

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Tue May 06, 2008 7:13 pm

FrankTrollman wrote:Would they rather we went to historical accuracy and dressed the women up in nothing but blue finger paint?

Yes.

And for tiefling players it's a matter of expectation that they look slutty and/or dangerous. It's a given.
We demon fans want the outfit to match the mentality, and when you're the child of a succubus (at least in 3.x) there's going to be some degree of hellish cultural influence.

And screw those yak horns, 4e art samples blow ass so far. Dragonfolk with no boobs = no fun for a large portion of the gaming population.

Get some Koreans or other talented digital painting Asians in here for the concept art or something.
Check out this guy. I wish he was on the 4e concept team:

http://s45.photobucket.com/albums/f54/cakeye/

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Tue May 06, 2008 7:40 pm

I believe that the thread in question is more trolling than anything else. I do think that it's a little unrealistic for adventurers to be wandering around with their thighs and midsections exposed, although it's not like sorceresses can actually wear armor. I did have to laugh at the "they're probably all transsexuals" comment, though.

Bigode · Post by **Bigode** » Tue May 06, 2008 9:00 pm

I'm not saying it's sexist, in no small part because that's how lots of women actually do want their characters (a.k.a. themselves) to look like. But I'm still saying it's ridiculous to be supposed to wear that in any vaguely unfriendly environment; and yes, I'm on count for saying that some of what real women wear's also ridiculous (As in, "causes actual health problems"; heels, anyone?).

Calibron · Post by **Calibron** » Tue May 06, 2008 11:16 pm

Chainmail Bikini=Gloryborn Armor Template; DMG2 page 277

Talisman · Post by **Talisman** » Wed May 07, 2008 1:44 am

sigma999 wrote:
FrankTrollman wrote:Would they rather we went to historical accuracy and dressed the women up in nothing but blue finger paint?
Yes.

I second this. They want historical accuracy, let's give 'em historical accuracy!

And screw those yak horns, 4e art samples blow ass so far. Dragonfolk with no boobs = no fun for a large portion of the gaming population.

I gotta say...if you're playing a LIZARD, I doubt boobs are high on your list of necessary character traits. Lizards with boobs looks bizarre.

Regarding the tiefling, I love the fact that the default setting is "points of light in a dark world," and one of the PHB races looks like a firkkin' demon. Big horns. Red skin. Alligator tail. Yeah, let's just open the gates and invite 'em in to trade...

But regarding the actual topic...meh. The pictures (with one or two exceptions) aren't all that great, but they don't arouse my ire. Of course, I'm not female...

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:34 am

I'm a female and they don't arouse my ire. That being said, I'm gay and they don't arouse, well, me, either. So it's nil-nil, really, a poor result this late into the game. Seriously, there's no other reason to buy the books (what? Actually PLAY 4E? Surely you jest), so the least they could do is provide good pictures, sexually enticing or otherwise.

Anyway, I fully endorse the blue fingerpaint idea. Are we referring to the berserker "drug" woad, used by the Scots? Or were women historically covered in blue fingerpaint simply as an excuse to run fingers over naked women?

Lizards with boobs are weird, and as many have said before, the less crossover between "dragons" and "sex", the better. Ideally, dragons wouldn't even have sex organs and would reproduce asexually.

Caliborn: for the first time in a very long time, I opened my DMG2. Awesome, I never read that section before. Now there's a way to justify chainmail bikinis and the like (other than spending too much money on the glamered armour, for no actual bonus, although one DM did let me wear full plate in the desert without "overheat" checks because it was glamered to look like normal light clothes...)

Talisman · Post by **Talisman** » Wed May 07, 2008 3:50 am

Koumei wrote:Anyway, I fully endorse the blue fingerpaint idea. Are we referring to the berserker "drug" woad, used by the Scots? Or were women historically covered in blue fingerpaint simply as an excuse to run fingers over naked women?

Either or both

Actually, I think Frank was probably referring to woad.

Weren't the Celtic tribes of the time one of the few cultures with a female warrior tradition, however minor? Or am I remembering wrong?

Lizards with boobs are weird, and as many have said before, the less crossover between "dragons" and "sex", the better. Ideally, dragons wouldn't even have sex organs and would reproduce asexually.

A GM of mine once decided that dragons could crossbreed while shapeshifted, but any children were 100% of the mother's race...the only "dragon" trait nondragon offspring carried was an aptitude for sorcery.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Wed May 07, 2008 5:04 am

Talisman wrote:Weren't the Celtic tribes of the time one of the few cultures with a female warrior tradition, however minor? Or am I remembering wrong?

Should probably specify one of the few cultures in Europe, but basically yes. I also have nothing against having women put leather shapes on themselves and then soaking in henna in order to look like leopards.

-Username17

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Wed May 07, 2008 6:07 am

Talisman wrote: Regarding the tiefling, I love the fact that the default setting is "points of light in a dark world," and one of the PHB races looks like a firkkin' demon. Big horns. Red skin. Alligator tail. Yeah, let's just open the gates and invite 'em in to trade...

Good point. Being a Planescape/tiefling/half-fiend/demon/devil fan I hardly notice
But to be an average human Expert (commoner with a brain?) dealing with one, two, tens, hundreds of "Nice Fiends" on a daily basis while Greater Demon Princes and Devil Lords rape and pillage your second-cousins out in the Forbidden Hills of Shadow.

My devil-fey (devil/faun) Sorc has used disguises in many campaigns for his hoof feet, but to have fellow hornheads strutting around grimacing and doing Warlock poses would surely drive most conservative NPCs to become adventurers (Clerics, even) hellbent on driving them out.
The published 4e fluff will be a hoot.
How the fuck are they working tieflings into the settings?

Cursed humans, my ass.
They should be sneaky, elusive planar invaders and you know it.

Koumei wrote: Anyway, I fully endorse the blue fingerpaint idea. Are we referring to the berserker "drug" woad, used by the Scots? Or were women historically covered in blue fingerpaint simply as an excuse to run fingers over naked women?

With the way I like to play RPGs, both.

Koumei wrote: Lizards with boobs are weird, and as many have said before, the less crossover between "dragons" and "sex", the better. Ideally, dragons wouldn't even have sex organs and would reproduce asexually.

Dragonfolk boob? I'm game.

Draco_Argentum · Post by **Draco_Argentum** » Wed May 07, 2008 9:09 am

Koumei wrote:Lizards with boobs are weird, and as many have said before, the less crossover between "dragons" and "sex", the better. Ideally, dragons wouldn't even have sex organs and would reproduce asexually.

No need to even get into how a race reproduces. Its not like we need a sex habits of orcs chapter either. I don't see a particular problem just because dragonborn are related to Dragons.

Voss · Post by **Voss** » Wed May 07, 2008 12:26 pm

sigma999 wrote: How the fuck are they working tieflings into the settings?

Descendants of a fallen empire, blah, blah, truck with demons in ancient days, blah, breed true, further blah, and default is all PCs races are largely accepted because the 'default setting' is the coffeehouse in Friends where everyone sits around and shares feelings and stuff. Except outside the towns, where its a monster free for all. Or something.

As if somehow in a 'point of light' setting where villages can disappear over night, freaky monster people with giant horns and tails that you can see from space or carnivore looking lizard people won't be shot on sight.

shau · Post by **shau** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:17 pm

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79924

The question:

The group I DM for has a powergamer in it and he refuses to stay on the railroad tracks. How can I kill him without giving him the chance to roll?

A proposed solution:

You could just send a never ending stream of kobolds at him. At his level, they aren't worth any experience. After he's killed a couple hundred in a small room, have someone ask "Jeez, how many kobolds have you killed?" When he answers, act all surprised and say "Oh wow... that's a lot. I don't think that many will fit in the room... Let's see.... *calculate* Oh my... yea... ummm... you start drowning in all the kobold blood. How strong are you? Oh my... ya... that's not enough... you're not strong enough to swim through the corpses. Every time you get close to the surface, another drowning kobold drags you under as it clings desperately for life. You swing at it? Well ok you kill it, but that counts as two rounds off holding your breath....

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Wed May 07, 2008 3:34 pm

I think I'm significantly dumber after reading through that thread.

Voss · Post by **Voss** » Wed May 07, 2008 3:53 pm

Its best to avoid the giant forums. They come for the web comic and they stay to spread their stupidity and illiteracy.

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Thu May 08, 2008 8:17 pm

http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/pa ... dardAction

It burns.

Talisman · Post by **Talisman** » Thu May 08, 2008 8:28 pm

Psychic Robot wrote:I think I'm significantly dumber after reading through that thread.

But you've got to admit, this is a great quote. It's even better taken out of context:

Citizen Joe wrote:The flood of kobolds, being evil, may be running from Robocop.

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Thu May 08, 2008 10:49 pm

Actually, considering how many of those women are shown in active poses with non-pornified facial expressions, I'd say those pics represent a step *up*

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Thu May 08, 2008 11:35 pm

Psychic Robot wrote:http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/pa ... dardAction

It burns.

IMO sneak attack could be very workable as a standard action. It really does make more sense to focus on the single killing blow rather than spamming. The added mobility of standard actions also makes sense for rogue-type characters. Spring attacking with a sneak attack should be the norm, rather than standing 30' away and spamming vials of acid.

You'd just have to increase SAD by a lot, and improve effects that trigger on sneak attacks.

It does kill sneak attacks of opportunity, but that could be worked in as a class feature.

Bigode · Post by **Bigode** » Fri May 09, 2008 10:21 pm

Boolean wrote:Actually, considering how many of those women are shown in active poses with non-pornified facial expressions, I'd say those pics represent a step *up*

Did 3.x do the opposite and I miss it?

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat May 10, 2008 3:29 am

Bigode wrote:
Boolean wrote:Actually, considering how many of those women are shown in active poses with non-pornified facial expressions, I'd say those pics represent a step *up*
Did 3.x do the opposite and I miss it?

Well, I have at least one official picture of Lidda clearly taking it from behind (perhaps used for the "explanation of a normal D&D game"), another of some halfling preparing for sodomisation by a gold dragon (thankfully not in the "half dragon" part of the MM), and then there's the picture that presumably has something to do with "Epic Escape Artist checks", with Lidda lowering her pants in front of an enormous statue.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sat May 10, 2008 3:44 am

I can't say I've seen the first two, but the last one is her comparing a tattoo to a marking the statue.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat May 10, 2008 5:14 am

A tattoo which happens to require her to lower her pants. Sure, it's better than assuming she's about to keep the statue in a very safe place, or that there's an expert of identification and escape artistry (DC 60) hidden away that's about to climb out, but still, it's an excuse for someone to draw her an a suggestive pose.

No, I have no specific feminist-inspired hate towards that, but it is still an example of how 4E art certainly hasn't gone further in the "women == eye candy" direction.

And it turns out the "Preparing for draconic entry" and "Lidda taking it from behind" are one and the same. Dragon Magic has the picture early on. The gold dragon isn't *right* behind her, but the general pose is clearly of "Oh! I'm ready for it, come on bring it!" (bonus points for those who recognise the song)

Then we have this anime-influenced piece:
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/compm ... 100464.jpg

Safe for work, unless you have a dirty mind.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Sat May 10, 2008 5:17 pm

I don't have a link. But everyone at Paizo is making a huge deal about the turnning rules. What I have discovered is that 10d6 damage, save for half in an AoE around the caster at level 20 is OMG overpowered.

Even though a Cleric that spends all his feats on it can be duplicated by a Wizard casting a sculpted enervating Fireball at level 10. Or you know, just not sucking and casting Wail of the Banshee. Seriously. 10d6 damage in an AoE is overpowered? What the hell are these people smoking?

Calibron · Post by **Calibron** » Sat May 10, 2008 5:36 pm

Crack, presumably.

Talisman · Post by **Talisman** » Sun May 11, 2008 10:47 pm

Koumei wrote:Well, I have at least one official picture of Lidda clearly taking it from behind (perhaps used for the "explanation of a normal D&D game"), another of some halfling preparing for sodomisation by a gold dragon (thankfully not in the "half dragon" part of the MM),

Are you referring to this pic? http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/dmag_ ... 100209.jpg
The one with the halfling about the size of my pinky nail? Sheesh...and I thought I had a filthy mind.
And I must say, my copy of the Epic book doesn't seem to have the "pantsless Lidda" picture...must be the expurgated version.

Still, at least it's not Mialee the "elf." I've seen exactly one picture of her that didn't make her look like some sort of alien cricket.

Here's a picture with Lidda looking (IMO) legitimately attractive:
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/moi_gallery/91027.jpg

And, of course, the "exploding cigar" piscture

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/ph35_ ... 85_WEB.jpg