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Count Arioch the 28th
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

My domme might like that.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

This made me think of your and your weird interests, AH.

Theories on Elf Dicks

A medical professional speculates on the junk of Tolkien's elves.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

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Occluded Sun
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Post by Occluded Sun »

That's ridiculous. Elves are noted to have the same basic physiology as humans, which is why they can interbreed. The differences are supposed to be 'spiritual' - what that means is a very long story and not really relevant here.

There are some important ways in which they differ, physically and mentally, from humans - most notably in that they're supposed to have more conscious control over their bodies and their drives, and to a limited degree could reshape themselves. So while I don't think they could alter their underlying bone structure, they're pretty much all gorgeous, and dieting wouldn't be an issue if for some reason they wanted to gain or lose weight. There's also some variation as to features; for example, they're noted to have less body hair than most humans.

Their genitalia would, like the rest of them, appear basically human, but ideally attractive and well-proportioned (whatever that would actually mean to an elf).
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Post by Stahlseele »

also, at will, ribbed for her/his pleasure . .
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Count Arioch the 28th
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

I keep telling people that and they tell me I'm insane...
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Count Arioch the 28th
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

At least one of those girls looks like she's 12.
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Post by Chamomile »

They're Asian. They have unlocked the secrets of eternal youth.
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

Chamomile wrote:They're Asian. They have unlocked the secrets of eternal youth.
No, they just do most of their aging in one big chunk towards the end.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

http://distractify.com/humor/2016/12/16 ... 044efee13a

tl;dr: Robber attempts to knock over sex store, gets chased off by dildo-wielding women.
Last edited by Ancient History on Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Maj »

I love that story.
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Count Arioch the 28th
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

One of my partners has a dildo that weighs nearly 10 pounds, it's not a stretch (giggity) to say that it can be used as a weapon.
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Post by maglag »

Now those are some badass women. "You have a gun? Well we have dildos, GTFO!"
Chamomile wrote:They're Asian. They have unlocked the secrets of eternal youth.
Do regular exercise and don't stuff yourself with fast food and sugar?

No, seriously, most toilets in China are still holes in the floor, no "throne" to sit. A woman wants to pee/poo, she needs to keep a strong flexible body at all ages.
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Post by Maj »

I do believe Chamomile was referring to the stereotype that it's difficult to tell how old an Asian woman is. I'm pretty sure the answer isn't a lack of toilets.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

Maj wrote:I do believe Chamomile was referring to the stereotype that it's difficult to tell how old an Asian woman is. I'm pretty sure the answer isn't a lack of toilets.
The meme/stereoptype in action:
Image
Last edited by Maxus on Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Post by Maj »

Exactly. ;)
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Post by Ancient History »

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RobbyPants
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Post by RobbyPants »

Yeah, I remember seeing one of those images years ago on Snopes after someone lied and said that scientists had engineered a half-human/half-pig.
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Post by nockermensch »

Ancient History wrote:https://steemit.com/pizzagate/@gizmosia ... well-again

The "Humanatee" guy.
I love how we're at the Entartete Kunst stage again. "Those guys like creepy art! Surely they must be evil!"
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Post by Occluded Sun »

Now if Podesta had a copy of the famous 'Alien' stele...
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Post by Red_Rob »

Ancient History wrote:https://steemit.com/pizzagate/@gizmosia ... well-again

The "Humanatee" guy.
I thought all the art was really interesting, like concept art for an out-there fantasy film. A lot of the creatures looked almost like alternate evolutionary paths that things on earth could have taken, things that we would find as common as a pig or sheep if we saw them wandering around every day. All in all a really cool collection.

Then I read the comments, and I assume that was what the title of the page was referring to? Knowing that there could be people like those commenters living not too far away from me right now... brrr, gives me the shivers!
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Post by Prak »

They seem sort of Fae, or like something akin to cenobites with less malevolence and alien sexual desire and more otherworldly wonder
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
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