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erik
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Post by erik »

Son1: I dropped a battery in the toilet!
And there's pee in there!

erik: Get mommy.

... later...

erik: Okay son, pee is sterile, that means it is clean. I want you to reach in and get the battery.
son1: NOOooooooo! I don't want to die!
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

"Look, I'm willing to compromise here. Instead of 100 babies, we'll just sacrifice one."

"That is unacceptable."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! No effort to compromise at all. I'm willing to give up sacrificing 99% of what I want, and you still won't meet me in the middle. I might as well sacrifice them all if that's going to be your attitude."

~ Efforts by Republicans to work with Democrats continue to be at an impasse.

"What if we sacrifice a baby and I give you a voucher so you can buy another one on the open market?"
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Shrapnel
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Post by Shrapnel »

Me: "Ya ever wonder what it would be like to have someone else's teeth in your mouth? Not as, like dentures or whatever, but the actual teeth just sitting on your tongue. It'd be weird right? Like, all crunchy when you bite on them, but then gooey on the inside? And then there's just the fact that there are teeth inside your head that aren't yours. You ever think about that?"

Co-worker: "...no."

Me: "Yeah, me neither."

A conversation I had at work today.
Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric, the half a bee
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Stahlseele
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Post by Stahlseele »

Crunchy and gooey on the inside?
How do people not know how their own teeth work? x.x
Welcome, to IronHell.
Shrapnel wrote:
TFwiki wrote:Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.
DSMatticus
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Post by DSMatticus »

Well, there is a very small amount of soft, pulpy tissue in there. You wouldn't call it meaty, though I'm not sure gooey is the right word either. I'm not sure I'll ever know the right word to describe the texture, and that's probably for the best.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

Grainy. Like undercooked marrow.
DSMatticus
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Post by DSMatticus »

Ancient History wrote:Grainy. Like undercooked marrow.
The best thing about this post is that it took less than a minute.
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Shrapnel
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Post by Shrapnel »

Is it more or less weird that I've actually had another person's tooth in my mouth? Because it felt gooey.
Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric, the half a bee
Starmaker
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Post by Starmaker »

Me and cat, sitting in the balcony overlooking the gray concrete slabs of the amusement park main building:
"Someday, Fluffers, things are gonna change. We'll be rich, live in a palace..."

Girlfriend, from the living room:
"It's a Dreamworks park, dumbass. Unless your idea of a princess is a zebra or a troll, get back in here before you catch a cold."
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