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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

Her: I brought a box of durex flavored condoms home from work because I'm curious about the taste. They claim to be "Tropical Flavored".

Him: I wonder if condom-tasting parties will be the next new fad.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

"Here's American politics in a nutshell: a candidate gets the nomination, and rapes a goat on live television to celebrate. The question does not then become 'Okay, who else have we got?' No, people go into denial. They get tribal. They're like 'I'm not voting for them, but I'm voting for the party.' They'll start justifying it! 'Look, just because they fuck goats doesn't mean I can't agree with their stance on gun control.' It'll get down to the wire, and people will come out of the booths on election day wearing stickers and t-shirt proudly proclaiming 'I voted for goat-fucker!' - and four years later, they'll do it all again. Because in America, it doesn't matter who gets fucked or who does the fucking, as long as somebody's getting laid we're happy to be part of it."
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Kaelik
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Post by Kaelik »

Ancient History wrote:"Here's American politics in a nutshell: a candidate gets the nomination, and rapes a goat on live television to celebrate. The question does not then become 'Okay, who else have we got?' No, people go into denial. They get tribal. They're like 'I'm not voting for them, but I'm voting for the party.' They'll start justifying it! 'Look, just because they fuck goats doesn't mean I can't agree with their stance on gun control.' It'll get down to the wire, and people will come out of the booths on election day wearing stickers and t-shirt proudly proclaiming 'I voted for goat-fucker!' - and four years later, they'll do it all again. Because in America, it doesn't matter who gets fucked or who does the fucking, as long as somebody's getting laid we're happy to be part of it."
I personally would only think better of a Republican Candidate who fucked a goat on national television. At least that would mean I could be sure they wouldn't make the tired Slippery Slope to Bestiality argument against gays that all the others use.
DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.

That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
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RobbyPants
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Post by RobbyPants »

This is from Cracked, but god damn, if I couldn't stop laughing after this line:

"George R.R. Martin writes with less sexual appeal than Ted Cruz opening his robe and asking a swarm of tarantulas if they are moist."
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erik
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Post by erik »

Son 1: Don't be afraid of mommy just because she has a bad face.
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erik
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Post by erik »

"Have you seen her baby?"

mrs erik: "Her old baby?"

"It's 5 months old."

mrs erik: "Yeah, I've seen it"
Last edited by erik on Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

I can't think of a movie that wouldn't be improved by adding Godzilla. You can add Godzilla to a Godzilla movie and I'd be like "Sweet, another Godzilla! This is amazing!"
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Ancient History
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Post by Ancient History »

"I had an idea once that humanity carries a sort of universal guilt from killing the other humanoid species that once occupied the planet. And it's why we feel the need to create fictional "others" to interact with."
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Post by Darth Rabbitt »

Person 1: "Do scrotums float?"
Person 2: "African or European?"
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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erik
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Post by erik »

Son2: never repeat
Erik: what?
Son2: never repeat
Erik: say again?
Son2 never repeat!

Ahhh. I can entertain myself like this for hours.
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erik
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Post by erik »

Son1: this song is terrible. I love it.

(Listening to this in the car)
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Josh_Kablack
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Post by Josh_Kablack »

Ancient History wrote:I can't think of a movie that wouldn't be improved by adding Godzilla. You can add Godzilla to a Godzilla movie and I'd be like "Sweet, another Godzilla! This is amazing!"

Probably true: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxhdo4HDgg

although I'm not sure if Space Godzilla and/or MechaGodzilla also count or not.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by JonSetanta »

"Hey! You have Dragonball calves!"
The Adventurer's Almanac wrote:
Fri Oct 01, 2021 10:25 pm
Nobody gives a flying fuck about Tordek and Regdar.
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angelfromanotherpin
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Post by angelfromanotherpin »

"If you are voting for Donald Trump, you are a piece of shit. You are worthless, you are terrible, and I'm ashamed to say you are my fellow citizens. I have never felt that before about any election, and I've been through two George W. Bush wins. Well, one win. I don't want to reason with you. I don't want to convince you. I want you and your kind to dry up and become dust in the history of the nation."
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erik
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Post by erik »

erik: You can't just kiss someone without permission. You don't want to be like Donald Trump.
son2: I am Donald Trump.

Honestly, some people's children.
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Josh_Kablack
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Post by Josh_Kablack »

This rant from a social media acquaintance seems highly relevant to the spirit of the Den:
"You're just as much as hater as he is." No. Fucking. Shit. Maybe next time I should let it make me happy when some fuckbucket is given equal time to shit hate and lies and just plain rudeness out of their facehole and into my society? I'll just be sad and listless when people get punched in the face or attacked by dogs for getting in the way of Manifest Destiny 2: Electric Boogaloo, or daring to disagree with someone's pet tyrant. Great plan, Moonbeam. I'll be sure to choke back my feelings to avoid harshing your mellow. We can all hold hands and sing and wave crystals. Uranus is in retrograde.

"You have to rise above them and take the high road." What the fuck do you think I'm angry about? I have risen above them, because I am not a misogynist transphobe racist gay-bashing whatever. I am high fucking above them. I am measurably better than them in every way, because I do not want to hurt or kill people arbitrarily. That's pretty fucking far above them, and I ain't fucking rising any more - unless it's to come down on you with a big fucking rock for comparing me or anyone near me to fucking fascist hatemongers. They're fucking nodes in a matrix of awful memetic poison that gives birth to ACTUAL FUCKING ATROCITY you fucking soft-handed Eloi moron. Get the fuck away from me and go back to the namastation. I hear it's in Cambodia. The divine in me says the divine in you should go fuck itself.

Keep your slave bullshit to your fucking self, weakling. I'm sure your internet petitions and the yoga classes you haven't actually gone to for two years and the back of the Deepak Chopra book you have next to the toilet and keep rereading but never turning over are really making you a force for righteousness. But by all means, keep telling people to chill out. I'm sure positive thinking is what we need.
The many and wonderful benefits of relaxation are not in question. The not-infrequent use of the language in question to judge, dismiss, and minimize the feelings of rightfully-angry people is shitty and lazy and insulting to people who have actually put real time and effort into art/science/spiritual practice of meaningfully "chilling the fuck out".

That's really all I'm angry about. Don't fucking minimize people's feelings. Don't judge their anger as bad or wrong. The denial of negative emotions is a deadly serious weakness of our culture.
"But transportation issues are social-justice issues. The toll of bad transit policies and worse infrastructure—trains and buses that don’t run well and badly serve low-income neighborhoods, vehicular traffic that pollutes the environment and endangers the lives of cyclists and pedestrians—is borne disproportionately by black and brown communities."
Mask_De_H
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Post by Mask_De_H »

The divine in me says the divine in you should go fuck itself.
Okay this is brilliant.
FrankTrollman wrote: Halfling women, as I'm sure you are aware, combine all the "fun" parts of pedophilia without any of the disturbing, illegal, or immoral parts.
K wrote:That being said, the usefulness of airships for society is still transporting cargo because it's an option that doesn't require a powerful wizard to show up for work on time instead of blowing the day in his harem of extraplanar sex demons/angels.
Chamomile wrote: See, it's because K's belief in leaving generation of individual monsters to GMs makes him Chaotic, whereas Frank's belief in the easier usability of monsters pre-generated by game designers makes him Lawful, and clearly these philosophies are so irreconcilable as to be best represented as fundamentally opposed metaphysical forces.
Whipstitch wrote:You're on a mad quest, dude. I'd sooner bet on Zeus getting bored and letting Sisyphus put down the fucking rock.
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Post by Mask_De_H »

Chris Hayes wrote:“Most of them are childless single men who masturbate to anime. They’re not real political players. These are not people who matter in the overall course of humanity.”
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/msnbc-guest- ... -to-anime/
FrankTrollman wrote: Halfling women, as I'm sure you are aware, combine all the "fun" parts of pedophilia without any of the disturbing, illegal, or immoral parts.
K wrote:That being said, the usefulness of airships for society is still transporting cargo because it's an option that doesn't require a powerful wizard to show up for work on time instead of blowing the day in his harem of extraplanar sex demons/angels.
Chamomile wrote: See, it's because K's belief in leaving generation of individual monsters to GMs makes him Chaotic, whereas Frank's belief in the easier usability of monsters pre-generated by game designers makes him Lawful, and clearly these philosophies are so irreconcilable as to be best represented as fundamentally opposed metaphysical forces.
Whipstitch wrote:You're on a mad quest, dude. I'd sooner bet on Zeus getting bored and letting Sisyphus put down the fucking rock.
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Post by Stahlseele »

And look who won.
The Otaku-Vote.
Welcome, to IronHell.
Shrapnel wrote:
TFwiki wrote:Soon is the name of the region in the time-domain (familiar to all marketing departments, and to the moderators and staff of Fun Publications) which sees release of all BotCon news, club exclusives, and other fan desirables. Soon is when then will become now.

Peculiar properties of spacetime ensure that the perception of the magnitude of Soon is fluid and dependent, not on an individual's time-reference, but on spatial and cultural location. A marketer generally perceives Soon as a finite, known, yet unspeakable time-interval; to a fan, the interval appears greater, and may in fact approach the infinite, becoming Never. Once the interval has passed, however, a certain time-lensing effect seems to occur, and the time-interval becomes vanishingly small. We therefore see the strange result that the same fragment of spacetime may be observed, in quick succession, as Soon, Never, and All Too Quickly.
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Kaelik
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Post by Kaelik »

Stahlseele wrote:And look who won.
The Otaku-Vote.
Can people stop saying dumb things like this? No really, Clinton won every fucking age gap under 30 by a good margin, unless you think those 40 year US anime lovers outnumber the under 30, can we please stop making weird dumb claims about how anime belongs to Trump? It was a fucking joke when the alt-right said it in the first place!
DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.

That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
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maglag
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Post by maglag »

I'm pretty sure that anime fans are less than non-anime fans in the USA.

So it's entirely possible that Clinton got over half of the people under 30 and the anime fans still voting for Trump en mass, since they were less than half of their age groups to begin with. And less than half is still more than enough to become president in the USA.

Plus hey
Image

How many people did you see making anime-style depictions of Clinton again?
Last edited by maglag on Tue Nov 15, 2016 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
FrankTrollman wrote: Actually, our blood banking system is set up exactly the way you'd want it to be if you were a secret vampire conspiracy.
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Shrapnel
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Post by Shrapnel »

You're not making Trump better, you're just making anime worse.
Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric, the half a bee
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Kaelik
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Post by Kaelik »

Shrapnel wrote:You're not making Trump better, you're just making anime worse.
Please just don't talk to someone who straightfacedly makes arguments as godawful stupid as maglags.
DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.

That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
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maglag
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Post by maglag »

Have you taken a look at Terraformars, one of the most popular animes recently?
-"Multi-international team" composed of pretty much only white people that all speak fluent english/japanese.
-Their main opposition are black-skinned humanoids that cannot speak proper english/japanese and start by pretty much just wanting to defend their homeland. They must be all exterminated so the white people can set up proper civilization!
-Then later on the series turns out the black-skinned humanoids have been illegally immigrating into the white people's previous lands, and so they must be doubly purged!

I don't think you could make a more pro-Trump anime if you tried.
Kaelik wrote:
Shrapnel wrote:You're not making Trump better, you're just making anime worse.
Please just don't talk to someone who straightfacedly makes arguments as godawful stupid as maglags.
Then I'm pretty sure your superior intellect would have no problem in showing me the light.

Since however you fail to present a single shred of proper evidence as usual, I'm afraid you're the one in the wrong here.
Last edited by maglag on Wed Nov 16, 2016 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
FrankTrollman wrote: Actually, our blood banking system is set up exactly the way you'd want it to be if you were a secret vampire conspiracy.
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