Moments when a piece of entertainment completely lost you.

Hadanelith · Post by **Hadanelith** » Sat May 21, 2016 3:34 am

I think most people are just that bad at writing dialogue. Dialogue is hard and most people just don't put much effort in.
That said, this is a particularly poor example, yes.

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Sun May 22, 2016 4:45 pm

The latest game of thrones is mega dog shit and has the most hilariously stupid unwanted origin story for Hodor. Lots of out of character silliness to force plot

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Sun May 22, 2016 4:53 pm

Feeling good about waiting for the books right now.

tussock · Post by **tussock** » Sun May 22, 2016 11:35 pm

Why do people write scenes like that?

1: People enjoy their own sex fantasies.
2: People write about the things they enjoy thinking about.

Therefore.

3: People write about their own sex fantasies.

They think it's good because they were masturbating when they first thought of it, and that releases endorphins which make variously suboptimal things seem really good and special.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Mon May 23, 2016 12:50 am

...I can't throw stones, though I could probably put up a few targets.

CapnTthePirateG · Post by **CapnTthePirateG** » Mon May 23, 2016 2:53 am

OgreBattle wrote:The latest game of thrones is mega dog shit and has the most hilariously stupid unwanted origin story for Hodor. Lots of out of character silliness to force plot

Apparently that is from GRRM.

I'd be interested to know what else you found out of character other than

Bran straight up murdering Hodor with mind control, HOLY SHIT!

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Mon May 23, 2016 5:16 am

CapnTthePirateG wrote:
OgreBattle wrote:The latest game of thrones is mega dog shit and has the most hilariously stupid unwanted origin story for Hodor. Lots of out of character silliness to force plot
Apparently that is from GRRM.

I'd be interested to know what else you found out of character other than

Bran straight up murdering Hodor with mind control, HOLY SHIT!

A combination of Out of character actions and really dumb decisions and oversight. So here be SPOILERS

Nobody told Bran "Hey don't tree-vision the ice king or he'll find you and we're all fucked", they just left him connected to the three internet doing whatever.

Bran and elder tree guy's response to "the ice kings know where we are and are coming to kill us" is "lets go into a comatose state and VR browse your family album while our physical selves have no awareness of how close the ice king is getting to murdering our physical selves."

Origin story for Hodor is he was mindraped into retardation by his owner's time traveling son to be his man-slave for life meant to die in a very specific event caused by Bran not paying attention when using his scrying powers. This use of time travel to affect the past to do something in the present reminds me of the episode of Rick & Morty where the sister just uses up a monkey paw for very small wishes like "I wish I knew CPR" and the devil comments "what a waste of a monkey paw".

Bald eunuch loses his cool immediately like an edgy atheist to red priestess when his entire character is based around never revealing his true feelings and not openly defying people because he's patient and planning.

Tree person suicide bombs instead of throwing her goddamn grenade. This kind of thing happens when the director/writer goes "We need a NOBLE SACRIFICE! YEAH!!" and then force it in the most uncreative way possible without actually thinking about if that character would do this, or if it would even be a useful decision.

Wolf jumps immediately to its death instead of trying to help its master. You know what's really good at pulling a sled through the snow, a giant wolf that lives in the snow.

Daenarys and Old Knight have a livejournal lubby dubby fanfic moment that basically ends with "Yeah I know I have access to the world's greatest scholars and sorcerers but you gotta cure your cancer alone with none of my help bye".

Arys has completed her batman ninja training to become a blank faced killer, and then on her first job is emoting sooo much emotion to seeing a play about her father, getting so emotionally involved, and then goes back to tell her boss "hey my emotions tell me I shouldn't do this killing I want to do something else".

Her boss used to talk in rather vague tones where Arya has to think about what he said then it hits her in an epiphany, now he's talking like a project manager working in a large office.

Sansa tries to make a brothel owner feel bad about being deflowered on her wedding night doggy style even though that is a totally expected part of their society and prostitution is a regular occurence in Winterfell under the Starks too. And then this is suppose to make her more traumatized and edgy than her brother that just came back from the goddamn dead to lead an army of giants and stuff against the ice zombies. Sansa then bosses Jon around and lies to him about important things like "where can I find an entire army to help me stop the badguys". Maybe it's to set up a "SANSA, YOU LIIEEEEED TO MEEE, YOUR BRUUUHTHERR" moment in this shitty director's next episode.

The Crow's Eye talks like he's playing an online game "TIME TO KILL MY NIECE", and his master plan to "hey they sailed away" is "GO TO YOUR HOUSE CUT DOWN ALL THE TREES WE BUILDING BOATS". Jesus Drowned Christ isn't he suppose to have the most swift fleet known to Westeros? I think they just ran out of budget and couldn't show his ship or that immolation horn so they settled with "Lets have a debate in this nondescript beach area where we all stand and yell and point"

If this was Xena I'd be fine with this being Xena because that's the tone you expect from Xena, but GoT is suppose to be "SUPER GRITTY VERY REALISTIC" writing awarded show.

Maybe GRRM is purposefully giving them terrible ideas so he knows what not to do in the books.

Omegonthesane · Post by **Omegonthesane** » Mon May 23, 2016 7:52 am

Bran brainwashing Hodor seemed like power incontinence to me, he clearly had sufficient control of Present Hodor to make him do competent things.

I assume Sansa was trying to get across that Ramsay sex is somehow more traumatic than what she'd otherwise be expected to do. I mean he did make Theon watch her wedding night.

Varys has a specific berserk button around sorcery that was established back in season 3.

Might have something coherent to say about Sansa and Dany later, but the rest of your criticism is pretty spot on.

DSMatticus · Post by **DSMatticus** » Mon May 23, 2016 10:12 am

Omegonthesane wrote:Varys has a specific berserk button around sorcery that was established back in season 3.

I don't think it's ever established that Varys has any kind of berserk button. It's established that Varys is not above exploiting his connections to achieve petty revenge against a petty sorcerer, but he was pretty chill about that the entire time, and it obviously wasn't something he took any real risk or burnt any significant capital doing.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Mon May 23, 2016 2:06 pm

Hadanelith wrote:I think most people are just that bad at writing dialogue. Dialogue is hard and most people just don't put much effort in.
That said, this is a particularly poor example, yes.

"I did not hit her, that's not true that's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not...

Oh hai Mark."

It's like a masterpiece in bad dialog. I don't think I could write natural sounding dialog. I have a hard enough time making believable short conversations between two NPCs when I'm DMing.

When my wife is writing, she often asks me "what would a guy say?". Given how drastically different her characters are from me, I'm not sure I'm that much more qualified than her to answer.

Hadanelith · Post by **Hadanelith** » Tue May 24, 2016 6:55 pm

Yeah, The Room kinda takes the low bar for bad dialogue, and buries it about a mile below sea level.
I say it again: dialogue is hard. I'll add to that editing is hard. And if your editor isn't any better at dialogue than you are, even edited dialogue can suck sweaty donkey balls. This is how dialogue this bad gets published.

Hiram McDaniels · Post by **Hiram McDaniels** » Tue May 31, 2016 4:48 am

X-Men Apocalypse with a steaming pile of hot Dinty Moore hobo sick. But most of you probably guessed that from the fact that Tacolips looks like a Power Rangers villain.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue May 31, 2016 9:18 am

Keep in mind, "natural dialogue" has a lot of people standing around looking idiotic going "um." People knock Joss Whedon for Buffyspeak, but at least that shit tends to be cohesive and entertaining, if not exactly witty.

MGuy · Post by **MGuy** » Tue May 31, 2016 9:46 am

Hiram McDaniels wrote:X-Men Apocalypse with a steaming pile of hot Dinty Moore hobo sick. But most of you probably guessed that from the fact that Tacolips looks like a Power Rangers villain.

I actually assumed it was just middle of the road. So far I've not heard any real outrage (like the Batman v Superman movie).

Hiram McDaniels · Post by **Hiram McDaniels** » Tue May 31, 2016 4:05 pm

MGuy wrote:
Hiram McDaniels wrote:X-Men Apocalypse with a steaming pile of hot Dinty Moore hobo sick. But most of you probably guessed that from the fact that Tacolips looks like a Power Rangers villain.
I actually assumed it was just middle of the road. So far I've not heard any real outrage (like the Batman v Superman movie).

For the most part it was pretty mediocre. There was one giant plot hole that irked me, and I probably suffering through superhero film fatigue.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 2:40 am

Hadanelith · Post by **Hadanelith** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 4:39 am

Marvel has flat out lost the fucking plot. Making Captain America be a Hydra member *all along* is the epitome of bullshit.

maglag · Post by **maglag** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 5:26 am

On the other hand, it means Tony Stark was right in having declared war on Steve!

Next month: The Red Skull is revealed as being a loyalist Shield agent all along.

The Red Skull becomes the new leader of the Avengers.

The Red Skull telling kids to don't do drugs.

shau · Post by **shau** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 5:38 am

Maybe all the heroes were secret bad guys and all the villains were secret good guys. I'd buy a version of the Avengers made up of Magneto, Green Goblin, Doctor Doom, Loki, Red Skull, and Galactus.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 9:36 am

Captain America has just barely stopped a Hydra plan to conquer the world too many times for him being a Hydra agent to make any sense. All he would have had to do is nothing to have Hydra win repeatedly. It's one of the few plots that genuinely cannot be justified.

But they managed to do something so shocking and offensive that we're talking about it, so the writers are going to call that a win and give themselves a round of handjobs.

-Username17

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 11:05 am

FrankTrollman wrote:Captain America has just barely stopped a Hydra plan to conquer the world too many times for him being a Hydra agent to make any sense. All he would have had to do is nothing to have Hydra win repeatedly. It's one of the few plots that genuinely cannot be justified.

But they managed to do something so shocking and offensive that we're talking about it, so the writers are going to call that a win and give themselves a round of handjobs.

-Username17

To be fair, Hydra is more a brand than a single cohesive orginization. The whole "cut off one head and two more take its place" thing basically means that there are multiple Hydras with different leadership and different goals. Particilarly since Hydra is at least 2000 years old and was originally an organization dedicated to protecting the world from supernatural and extraterrestrial threats before it was corrupted by reptillian aliens sometime before the first century AD.

Heck, there are at least two Hydras now. One is a bunch of anti-immigrant suicide bombers run by the Red Skull, and the other is a bunch of confused supervillains recruited by Baron Zemo. And Zemo and the Red Skull hate each other.

It makes perfect sense that there might be an American branch of Hydra that is more New Deal Progressive than Nazi.

Nebuchadnezzar · Post by **Nebuchadnezzar** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 11:42 am

I'd be willing to wager the storyline will play out with Zemo learning of Rogers' supposed Hydra ties, and distancing himself from the organization. Zemo then (while the writers trot out a few more D-listers as potential Masters of Evil before the name is considered distasteful) collects Cube fragments sufficient that when he eventually runs into the Bucky-ran Thunderbolts Kobik incorporates them into herself. Kobik removes the whammy on Rogers, explains it away as a final ill-considered attempt at helping Zemo à la Pleasant Hill, and disappears, leaving Zemo in charge of the Thunderbolts while nominally reestablished as an anti-hero. Rogers' memories as a Hydra agent will be dismissed as being implanted, while the changes to his mother's history may or may not stick.

Edit: I'll take a side bet on the Red Skull telepathically detecting Rogers' having been screwed with and attempting to leverage it against Zemo, such that when Kobik undoes everything in the end she removes Xavier's powers from the Skull. Xavier's disembodied consciousness pulls a Cassandra Nova in a sewer or some shit, and is brought back to life within 18 months.

maglag · Post by **maglag** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:47 pm

Mind control. Magic. Clones. Androids. Aliens. A mind-controled magic android alien clone?

hyzmarca wrote:
FrankTrollman wrote:Captain America has just barely stopped a Hydra plan to conquer the world too many times for him being a Hydra agent to make any sense. All he would have had to do is nothing to have Hydra win repeatedly. It's one of the few plots that genuinely cannot be justified.

But they managed to do something so shocking and offensive that we're talking about it, so the writers are going to call that a win and give themselves a round of handjobs.

-Username17
To be fair, Hydra is more a brand than a single cohesive orginization. The whole "cut off one head and two more take its place" thing basically means that there are multiple Hydras with different leadership and different goals. Particilarly since Hydra is at least 2000 years old and was originally an organization dedicated to protecting the world from supernatural and extraterrestrial threats before it was corrupted by reptillian aliens sometime before the first century AD.

Heck, there are at least two Hydras now. One is a bunch of anti-immigrant suicide bombers run by the Red Skull, and the other is a bunch of confused supervillains recruited by Baron Zemo. And Zemo and the Red Skull hate each other.

It makes perfect sense that there might be an American branch of Hydra that is more New Deal Progressive than Nazi.

Hail (New Deal Progressive) Hydra! Has a nice tone to it.

Another possibility is that Steve was a really super incompetent villain, and thus always ended up screwing up Hydra's plans when he was supposed to just look the other way. The only reason he wasn't executed as a traitor is that Hydra's higher ups always concluded that Steve's position as beloved capitalist hero was too good to sacrifice.

"Caps: Oh sorry masters, I screwed up again. So, what are we gonna do next night?
Hydra boss: What we do every night, Steve. To take over the world!"

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:28 pm

Actually, now I'm wondering how well their Hydra merch sells. Because I can't imagine there are a ton of people eager to wear comic book nazi paraphernalia--I mean, the whole tentacle skull thing looks cool, but they're still nazis. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this is really all about upping Hydra merch sales, one way or another.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Sat Jun 04, 2016 8:21 pm

This is so stupid . .
Wonder how long they will stick with it.
Even the cool Chris Evans (Not the idiot from NOT TOP GEAR ANYMORE) thinks this is stupid . .

The last really big thing they did that i followed was the death of Wolverine in 2014? And they are, appearantly, sticking with it.