Medical Questions I'd Like Answered...

[Koumei]

No, the seniors here... sit and rot in their retirement villages. Or occasionally use mobility scooters to be hazards on the sidewalk and piss people's dogs off. I have found no evidence of Tai Chi being a thing here, and even if it were, that's just "waving your arms a bit" and not "breaking necks and cashing cheques".

Actually I want to give a better picture of where I live. It has one store that sells video games, four retirement villages, and about as many funeral homes*. And at least one bowls club. When it isn't raining, it is slightly more active above the ground than below, and even that's mainly because there is a paddock of cows down the road from here.

I can't stress this enough, and I think it's fucking weird that a farmer is showing city privileges. Also, city privilege is now a thing. Someone get on tumblr and make it happen.

*And also about as many bottle shops. I think there's the demand for it, this place is so depressing.

Edit: okay, apparently the local "wellness centre" does offer yoga and... pilates, which is... I'll admit I don't know what it is, but it's usually used in the same context, of "middle-aged people want to be a bit more bendy", and they sometimes offer tai chi.

[DSMatticus]

Yeah, I'm with Koumei here. As someone who has spent most of their life living in rural locations with a startlingly high number of retirement homes per capita, I can attest that there are places on this planet that are at least an hour's worth of boring in every direction. I am similarly surprised to hear that PL, a fucking farmer, does not live in such an area.

[violence in the media]

This might explain it.

[Hiram McDaniels]

Umm...a friend wants to know how one would go about removing say...a lightbulb from their anal cavity...just out of curiosity. A prompt reply would be great.

[virgil]

Just how screwed is this friend by this bright idea? Sounds a bit dim to me.

Go to the ER, try to relax, and stick to things with a flared base from here on out. Also, nobody is going to believe they fell on it, so just don't bother.

[Hiram McDaniels]

Just how screwed is this friend by this bright idea? Sounds a bit dim to me.

Go to the ER, try to relax, and stick to things with a flared base from here on out. Also, nobody is going to believe they fell on it, so just don't bother.

But I...that is my friend...totally did slip and fall onto I t. By accident. On account of all the ky that happened to be on the floor. For completely unrelated reasons. Honest.

So would you say that people in the er are discreet and nonjudgmental? Also, flared base huh?

[virgil]

Honest.

Doesn't matter, they won't believe you. So don't bother.

So would you say that people in the er are discreet and nonjudgmental? Also, flared base huh?

If my nurse friends are indication, they can be quite judgmental (never to your face) and will totally gossip about it. They refuse to even think about mentioning names or similar identifying information, however, so it's certainly a kind of discreet.

[name_here]

This actually happens a lot, apparently.

Anyways, there are disclosure laws and they will tell no one and there is a 99% chance that a lightbulb is not the dumbest thing the people on shift have pulled out of an ass.

[Kaelik]

This actually happens a lot, apparently.

Anyways, there are disclosure laws and they will tell no one and there is a 99% chance that a lightbulb is not the dumbest thing the people on shift have pulled out of an ass.

That last one is probably false, I can think of almost nothing dumber than a lightbulb.

[Hiram McDaniels]

This actually happens a lot, apparently.

Anyways, there are disclosure laws and they will tell no one and there is a 99% chance that a lightbulb is not the dumbest thing the people on shift have pulled out of an ass.

That last one is probably false, I can think of almost nothing dumber than a lightbulb.

Drug filled rodents?

[SlyJohnny]

Lightbulbs have a vacuum inside and are thus a crazy dangerous thing to put up your ass for... some reason, right? You'd go straight to the doctor if you had a lightbulb up your ass, embarassment or no

[Hadanelith]

Say it with me, friends: fragile things do not go inside of bodies. Light bulbs are a particularly poor choice, what with the whole 'could shatter, filling your rectum with glass shards' thing. Use things that are designed to be sex toys - it's just a better plan.

As for your immediate issue, yes, go to the ER; yes, they will judge you; yes, they will talk about you and laugh; no, they won't include personal info in that laughing; no, that is not the strangest/most dangerous/most disgusting thing they have ever pulled from an asshole. Trust me on this.

[koz]

This actually happens a lot, apparently.

Anyways, there are disclosure laws and they will tell no one and there is a 99% chance that a lightbulb is not the dumbest thing the people on shift have pulled out of an ass.

That last one is probably false, I can think of almost nothing dumber than a lightbulb.

Drug filled rodents?

Try concrete.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Random question:

I am on a ketonic diet. I'm able to stick with it and it controls all of my symptoms of diabetes. Last doctor visit I was told my A1C was great. This visit she tells me I'm a "ticking time bomb" and wants me to go back on metformin and statins (note: she's looking at the same damn results from last time, my next lab is next week). Metformin does not agree with me when I'm on said ketogenic diet, it makes me go hypo and causes me to dry heave and pass out. To combat this, I have to consume sugar, which ruins the ketonic diet (anything more than 15-20 grams of carbs per day pretty much ruins it and makes you start over again). Statins put me in so much pain I literally can't move or get out of bed. Which means exercising is out of the question.

Am I within my rights to tell my doctor to get bent? I finally find a lifestyle change I can stick with and she's doing her damnedest to convince me to take pills to ruin it (even though my stats have shown constant improvement since then, everything that's supposed to be low is dropping and everything that's supposed to be high is rising).

[Omegonthesane]

I don't think your doctor can make you follow their advice, if that's what you're asking.

[name_here]

Absent a court order the doctor does not have the authority to force you to accept any medical treatment whatsoever. However, you should discuss the full situation with her, including your concerns with following her advice, in case she knows something important you do not, since knowing medical things you do not is kind of her job description.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

I did all that two months ago. She agreed with me. Yesterday she was pissed that I did the things she said were okay. I know that she probably has dozens of patients and can't be expected to know everyone's case by memory but she spends a lot of time typing stuff into the computer, you'd think at least some of it would let her know.

I know she can't "make" me do anything, I just want to know if doing so is wise, because I've been very convinced of things that were very stupid in the past, it's always buzzing in the back of my head that I might still acting in a way that's batshit insane and just not see it.

[maglag]

Ask for a 2nd opinion from another doctor.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

I do know my Domme was a nurse for years and thinks my doctor is full of snot. Now to consider whether it's worth the effort to find one that will see me (it took me about five months to find a doctor accepting patients the last time I fired a doctor for throwing a fit and lecturing me like I was a retarded child when I lost 20 pounds in 3 months instead of the 50 she told me to lose).

[Koumei]

So after a routine blood test, it turns out I'm pre-diabetic, with fasting blood sugar of 6.1, which isn't good. I've started tackling this by cutting sweet biscuits and Coke out (that last one probably being the big killer), and basically limiting sweets to very small amounts, just on occasion.

0/10 would not recommend, it's been a hellish experience alleviated only by the fact that I'm constantly in pain these days and thus once again going through codeine like teabags.

So I have a few questions regarding the whole thing.
1. Is this just "stopping it from getting worse", or will my blood sugar level gradually decrease as my ??? repairs itself and the natural insulin production does ???

2. Is heavy opiate use more or less harmful in the longrun than going "Fuck it"?

3. If I do end up falling off the... sugar... wagon... I haven't thought that through. But let's say I eventually do end up proper diabetic, and decide to end it all via sherbert, which sounds totally rad, how horrible is diabeetus-death-syndrome? Are we talking spasms and foaming at the mouth for hours, or just the heart and lungs deciding to stop?

4. Am I specifically cutting down on plain old glucose sugar consumption for this? Are fructose, lactose, maltrose, dextrose and primrose just as bad? Are artificial sweeteners to be avoided? Are carbohydrates in general a problem? Will the breakdown of starch into sugar from a fucking potato be just as bad as simply having the equivalent amount of sugar?

[Whipstitch]

There's definitely better ways to go.

[Nachtigallerator]

I do like giving medical advice to people on the other side of the globe! Still not technically a doctor, but let's try:

1. Ideally, prediabetes is reversible with lifestyle intervention. I can't really say what your long-term chances are, but you want to stave off diabetes proper as long as you can. About fifty per cent of your (type 2) diabetes risk is genetic, so you may get still it as you get older, even with lifestyle changes. Diabetes is a disease that accumulates damage to your organs over time, so the longer you don't have it, the better.

2. Diabetes has multiple potentially deadly outcomes, opiate dependency (which can result from frequent heavy use) mostly amounts to not getting by without opiates and possibly getting less or no pain reduction from taking them. Opiates do not cause organ damage or death unless overdosed.

3. The more likely cause of death from diabetes is having a stroke or heart attack (or heart or kidney failure) sooner than you would've had it without diabetes if your blood sugar is non-ideal for extended periods of time. The thing where diabetics fall unconscious and start foaming at the mouth and seizing (ketoacidosis) is much more common with type 1 diabetes - if you had that, you would've skipped the prediabetes stage. You can, however, end up delirous because seriously high blood sugar levels drain your body of water and make the blood too thick to effectively circulate your brain. That has a punny acronym (HONK) but like ketoacidosis, can be prevented by not letting your blood sugar jump totally off the charts.

4. Any carbohydrates your body can effectively break down leads to increased blood sugar levels. Now, even as a diabetic, you do want some amount of sugar in your blood, just not too much. The potato is better because it takes your body more time to break it down to useable carbohydrates, so it has time to use up some of that sugar. Things you can eat that don't increase blood sugar levels are those that contain protein - like, milk and stuff made from it. My understanding is that large-scale human studies have failed to confirm any excess mortality (or weight gain) from use of artificial sweetener, no matter what has been found in animal trials.

[Whipstitch]

BTW, Koumei, if it makes you feel any better, life can still be pretty decent without coca cola and other excessively unhealthy things. I say this from experience. I was not pre-diabetic but it runs in my family along with high blood pressure and sleep apnea. Up until 2 and a half years ago I avoided the first issue but apparently now that I'm in my 30s I run smack dab into the last one any time my weight slips much north of 185 pounds (I am not a tall man). I couldn't sleep worth a damn and the grim knowledge that this shit could totes kill me when combined with high blood pressure wasn't fun at all. I'm skinnier now and it's helped a lot and the two things that really helped me was really, truly learning how to cook and identifying the things that were really hurting my diet. If you're anything like me then odds are good you have a handful of ingredients that are doing a disproportionate amount of damage. In my case it was soda and hamburger. Cutting out the truly bad shit gets a lot easier once you sit down, do do the math and realize how much freedom you have to eat other things once you start cutting out the worst offenders.

[DSMatticus]

Alright, so let's talk about simple sugars. Simple sugars make it into your bloodstream almost immediately, which is why chugging a can of soda always gives you that "ahh, that hit the spot" feeling. But shortly after they make it into your body, your pancreas is going to shit out a bunch of insulin - too much insulin, in fact - and leech all the sugar out of your blood, leaving you fucking lethargic. A problem which you can remedy by chugging another can of soda. Hurrah! Except, of course, that by the end you're getting a fuckton of calories from nutrientless soft drinks and shitty snacks and your body is so full of insulin that it doesn't even know what normal is anymore. You've started an arms race between your mouth and your pancreas, and you really don't want your pancreas to lose.

So while there is no gratification quicker, the craving you are trying to gratify with sugar is being caused by already having had sugar. Sugar is both the problem and the cure. If you want to break that cycle, you have to understand that everytime you consume something that is rich in sugar your body is going to respond by sucking all the sugar out of your blood, which is going to make you feel like shit, which is going to make you want more sugar, which is going to start the whole cycle over again. There are two things you need to do to make sure that doesn't happen:

1) Less sugars. Yes, you're going to have to stop drinking soda. It's just too much sugar. There is no way to make things work as long as soda is in the mix. It may as well be a slow-acting poison for our purposes. Or anyone's purpose, really. The shit is truly terrible. There may or may not be similarly terrible junkfood in your diet which you need to cut down on, but soda is your greatest enemy.

2) More not sugars. Part of the reason you're having the cravings for sugar is because you're not taking care of your body's energy needs through other means. Carbs take longer to digest and won't give you that immediate burst of energy, but your body also doesn't respond to carbs by freaking out and flooding you with insulin - which means they won't cause the sugar cravings that are at the root of why you feel like shit.

The single most practical thing you can do, in terms of breaking your current habits, is finding some meals which are quick and easy to cook and are a healthy-ish source of carbs (don't worry too much, you can't do worse than soda and junkfood). I cannot stress the quick and easy part enough. If you feel tempted to indulge in something sweet, it will be because your body feels like it needs a pick me up - the longer you sit around feeling like that the more likely you are to give up and grab a soda or whatever. So instead of sitting around waiting for your willpower to fail you, go to the kitchen and get your energy from carbs. This is probably the single most useful piece of advice anyone could possibly give you on this topic. "Satisfy your sugar cravings with not sugar" is the pinnacle of practical diet advice.

One of my favorite "I am too lazy to cook but if I don't eat something I'm going to feel like shit" snacks is rice. Boil some water, throw the rice in, come back in 5-10 minutes and you have food. Sometimes I'll chop up some onions/carrots/ham/whatever to mix in with it, which means instead of going back to sit on my ass while my rice cooks I have to actually stand in the kitchen chopping and cooking things for 10 minutes. Such a drag.

[Koumei]

Thanks for the info, guys. The local doctors are basically booked out by elderly for all eternity, so seeing my doctor for information requires travel and other bother.

I figured that stopping with Coke was basically the single best move, and luckily I wasn't on a strong soda habit already - as in one can per few days. The second biggest thing was probably the daily packet of biscuits/cookies (not cream-filled, usually stuff like gingernut, but still, they turn to sugar very quickly).

I've been using weight-loss meal replacement as a replacement for snacking - one big mug of that (it's an 800mL mug, so instead of using 2-3 times as much powder, I just put a lot of water in) replaces all the stuff I eat throughout the day. That's mostly protein, fibre and caffeine. At night I might have a few dry crackers... er, that's the British use of the word, so... the largely flavourless kind that you put cheese on.



I still have my large mocha + muffin (apple sized, not novelty bowling ball sized that some places do) to start the day, but that's about the extent of it. Dinner is an actual proper meal with things like rice, pasta, vegetables, meat... you know, normal things that people have for dinner.

And I've managed to lose 5kg in 5 weeks, which is something I wanted to do anyway. I want to get down to 70, as that was when I looked and felt my best, and after that I might look at building up my core strength for SUPLEX CITY.

But I do wish to address one thing:

BTW, Koumei, if it makes you feel any better, life can still be pretty decent without coca cola and other excessively unhealthy things.

Horseshit. Aside from withdrawal itself being awful, the fact is that for a very long time sugar has basically been my only pleasure in life and just about the only way to enjoy other things. Fortunately, I can replace that with either alcoholism or opiate use, and hopefully things will look up from there.