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Nuggets from the Nughole

 
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sPUN-MUNKEy
NPC


Joined: 17 Jan 2016
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:03 pm    Post subject: Nuggets from the Nughole Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Long List of various session quotes (a.k.a Nuggets or Gems):

Our DM: You are not a werewolf. Werewolves, in general, are not made of spiders.
I'll set you on fire and then you hug the goblins.
“We want a moderate number of angry bandits, not ALL of them.”
— The Ranger
“It’s always polite to test a magic item in a place where it won’t turn someone else’s possessions into jelly donuts or something”
You are not getting my wolf drunk
“So what you’re saying is that this wyrmling is half space dragon and half Elven tree fortress.”
No, none of the other passengers are carrying massive amounts of cheese.
“Do I get total concealment for being eaten?”
So what do you say that we abandon this whole save the world quest and just become air pirates….again?
“I ask the mariachi band if they know why they exist in a robotic version of greek mythology”


“The Dwarf stands there. A beacon of pissed off in a sea of death.”
"This is a very nice stick, and I will take no less than 50 gold for it"
“I mean it’s a vampire, do they even poop?”
*hires ten prostitutes to start a book club*
You feel the banana goddess has an ulterior motive.
“NOBODY EXPECTS THE GUILD OF INDECISION!”
“Boom, clap, the sound of dead ghouls”
“You tried to turn a living man into PANTS! You don’t GET to be grossed out by the throne made of fleshy-people-parts!”
“you know, I never really knew how much I wanted to fight chupacabras on top of a moving train until i fought chupacabras on top of a moving train”
“I entered this relationship expecting Dungeons and Dragons, not Doctor Who and The Manhattan Project!”
“The mighty El Fuerte proves he is a man by enduring his own punch.”
“Hello ma'am, we covered your hall with blood and broke down the door, but we saved your doily.”
“Whatever their half-baked plans are, we need to make sure they don’t interfere with our own half-baked plans – otherwise we’ll all end up with quarter-baked plans and that’s practically raw.”
“So can I roll a wheel of cheese through twenty feet of alchemist’s fire without it melting?”
“Who wants to answer the door that isn’t afraid of bullets?”
Thief: *stabs demon with newly obtained 'cranberry' blade* Thief: that's where cranberry juice comes from, yes?
"To make a long story short, the scorpions have adopted me as one of their own."
“Can you imagine: we’re illegally crossing the border, with a half dead elf on leash. And then "Hey, guards! We also have a ancient vampire in slumber in our sack! Wanna check it? So yeah.”
Look, seriously, I don’t think I’ve properly articulated just how many spears you were hit with just now.
“If you keep killing minions of Tiamat I will petition to have your axe thrown away!”
“Sometimes you’re too busy to notice the 8-foot wolf walking across the street.”
“I’m an Aasimar, I’ve already achieved disco ball form.”
“And so, the Evil alignment party left the Village as heroes…”
“Discomfort sets in as they realize that, technically, they have no way of proving the bananas are not the traitors.”
“I just wanted to push him over, not drop my axe into him!”
“I don’t care if I can control it, I just want to be the core of a roiling, seething, mass of buffalo destruction.”

"The situation has changed, you need to defend this cow at all costs."
“Well, this vampire was apparently the child of Schrodinger and Murphy.”
“Pudding is an investment for the future.”
What’s the terminal velocity of a werewolf?
“I’m the only one fighting the final boss and I am a backpack.”
“I don’t want to be backstabbed, put the rogue in the back.”
"Congratulations, they have dubbed you the Shadow Chicken."
“That’s how you bury people in the desert. By pushing a dune over them,”
You can’t interpretative dance at the troglodytes!
“It’s already done, the triceratops has been flipped”
“Leather armour is best for sneaking, because it’s literally made of hide”
“She should have been nicer. She was a stranger, and I saved her doily.”
"The chicken nuggets begin to slowly advance towards you..."
"Listen, I just poisoned a golem, I don't wanna hear any of your lip."
"Quick! No time to explain, get in the meat grinder!"
Can I urinate on the wraith to assert dominance?
"Use the soup the Monk has in his pockets!"
Stop knocking the building prone!!!
“I roll to see if I successfully retrieve the banana from the elf’s pants.”
“But I mean, I’m just a bar of soap so what do I know?”
"I touch the ruby." "The skeleton slaps you. How dare you touch the family jewel."
Did you guys really think that the horse and reindeer would be able to read maps!?
“I don’t want to fight Smash Mouth, I want to recruit Smash Mouth. Then we can be All Stars.”
“Could the Gnome at least humor us with a spoon based monologue?”
“You gave me a token, you gave me a centipede.”
"Why do we have to be in initiative order to be glared at by an old woman?"
“I’m just going to be the shittiest flying tank monkey kite thing and that’s that.”
“Can we use the Meerkats as imported labor?”
“And to think, all of the books we’ve recovered only detail how spells act when cast on ships.”
"I consider you a friend, even though you’re just a door"
"I'm twisting the cinnamon bun" when confronted with a gingerbread door
“You’re rolling against the abstract essence of the thug hivemind.”
“Dire situations call for dire badgers.”
“Ya know, if you ignore the sleeping and the hallucinating, this battle’s going great.”
"Bartender, don't try and fool me. I think I know what's in that Manly Mojito."
"Despite your persuasive argument, the corpse remains inanimate."
"Now that we killed him maybe he will talk to us"
“No, you can’t use Detect Evil to tell if someone spit in your soup.”
"He is convinced but unable to help, as he is a badger."
"No, the disembodied vampire head does not know where the non-existent treasure is. And even if she did she wouldn't tell you."
you are going to choke the land with dead alchemists
You're the one who grabbed the cloak, so there's no way you're escaping from the wrath of the cloud of spores
Yes, it is Deadly Yellow Mold. It is mold. It is yellow. And it puffed out in a cloud that murdered you to death. You are going to get to roll up a new character, that's so exciting!
Yes, yes, you should have been paranoid that things might kill you, it's true.
Look! You rolled a 97! The weather is raining hydras!

At 6th level, you gain the ability to throw a harmless object at an opponent, such as a cream pie, a sticky ball of gunk, or other weird or disgusting item.
"By the gods, I'm adventuring with a troup of dancers!"
"Geez... have you ever seen so many frigging Orcs? Guys? Guys?"
"I could always kill you and ask your corpse."
"I've never been at a siege before."
"Never swallow a Halfling." -- Half-Giant Proverb
"Of course I'm a wizard, son. I've got a tall pointy hat!"
"Push the red button, and then the blue. No wait!"
"Show me a rich roleplayer and I'll show you a thief!"
"This looks like a safe place to camp."
"Uh... why has our torch flame turn blue."
A wizard, huh? I throw my drink at him.
Bards do it then make into a bawdy tale.
Beware of magicians, they manifest anger in strange ways.
Dead monsters are *always* naked and penniless.
Maps on the table have a tendency to attract soda
Never grab a miniature after picking your nose.
Never kill a character without first humiliating him.
The rulebook you want is at the bottom of the stack.
You'll never find dice that are thrown in anger.
We need to get a new bard. All this one does is sing and drink.
Why be an Abjurer? Illusionists throw better parties!
"Hi! I'm a Nameless Horror, but you can call me Fred!"
"Never trust anything you can eat." - Old dragon proverb
A fight to the death with a vampire has a few inherent problems....
"12 Death Knights? I close the door..."
"Am I seeing things or is that a dragon?"
"But it's only a LITTLE red dragon."
"I go up to the Lich and try to pick his pocket."
"I know that's an illusionary dragon!"
"I lit the emergency candle. Why is it hissing?"
"So what good is a ring of Cthulhu control?"
"Was I the only one who heard that click?
"What's a 'pantheon', and why is it mad at me?"
Being knighted with a Sword of Life Stealing
Lifting up the veil at a Medusa wedding
Looking for the beauty in the eye of a beholder
Taking sleep-therapy classes from a vampire
"That's okay, the spikes broke his fall."
Aluminum Dragons also do 3d6 of krinkle damage.
And so he road into battle, bearing the standard of confusion.
Are we all being disintergrated, or is it just me?
Until now, I didn't know arch-devils travelled in groups.
We were surprised by a 55' dinosaur hiding in an empty field.
What do you mean, "Bend over if I want the magic sword"??
Dragons aren't extinct, they've just learned to hide in books.
Dragons make great pets. Just put down LOTS of newspaper.
I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away.
Monsters sleep because you are boring, not because they ever get tired.
Never trust a smiling dragon picking its teeth with a two-handed sword
Never trust a smiling succubus holding a pot of lip rouge.
Oxymoron: A vampire named Dawn.
Cursed is now "displaying a non-beneficial magical aura."
NPC's - henceforth referred to as "persons of limited destiny."
Thieves are now "agents of economic redistribution."
Trap doors are now "artifically-induced unstable floors."
The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming dragon.
“Well the Pokemon said something about Jap-ponies school girls.”
“It occurs to me, that we have a tasty fox in this box of holding.”
“Now take all your thoughts and pour them into the rose, feed the rose.”
“This place needs and antidote?! Why are we here?”
“Oh look, two assassins and a rogue watching the wizard check the door for traps!”
“Are you a threat? If you are we’re going to throw you off the balcony.”
“This could be the first time an item was identified by rubbing it on a cat.”
“What are we going to do with a dress!? There’s nothing to do but die in a dress!”
“Not that kind of immortality, the other kind of immortality!”
“We no longer have any active death knights in town…”
“Shouldn’t it be something like, when you’ve gone rabbit it becomes a habit?”
“Don’t grab that beam of energy in front of the statue.”
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incinerate me.”
“Pretty soon this is going to degrade into polyhedral dodge ball…”
“You’re a spider, and you say the statue is weird?”
“You want to hide the bodies? Just put them in your pocket.”
“Actually, if he’s going out into the forest with a torch, we may all become enlightened.”
“They’re pretty susceptible to arrows to the back of the head.”
“Our mission has come to an abrupt halt due to a chipmunk.”
“If we could refrain from debates with piñatas…”
“You could lift up his cloak and see what he’s got.”
“I’m gona go back, I can’t have them shitting on my spellbook.”
“You’ll be able to tell if it possesses me because I will become less evil.”
“It’s sad when you can defeat someone by turning them into a god.”
“The second round of pain causes you 10 points of healing.”
“I’ve seen sheep before…sailed with a sheep before.”
“You can put your skin back on if you want.”
“If you’re going to slit my throat or kiss me you’re gona have to build a step stool!”
“Curiosity brought you to hell, interesting.”
“That thing told you to burn the heads, and you did!?”
“I got the star and the monkey sword.”
“I really don’t appreciate being killed by a super bouncy ball.”
“Another poor creature bound for the Astral plane.”
“She was Christina, she came from the land of Chuchimumgabo.”
“You fear the squirrels are after your nuts is what I think.”
“He may be fake but he very much exists.”
“I was drowned, which is odd for me.”
“Its like suffocation underwater.”
“That one goes in the record books – the first time a dragon has eaten a chocolate deer
“All I know is that he jumped out of a rock and drank from a chalice.”
“Let me get this straight, you can jump through rocks but not trees?”
“Pretty much everyone who was nice to me on this plane is dead now.”
“I think this cage is anchored by some kind of dimensional vortex.”
the ever-increasing insane malevolence of the familiar Pepe, who scarred his master into backing off and not controlling his actions
“I’m still stuck on why a magical clown is going to attack us.”
“Mushrooms have swords and are evil? Can anyone give me a straight answer here?!”
“weren’t you listening? He is gona cast understand curse on himself.”
“That chest is just sitting there and you are going to sleep in the hallway?!”
“I have a wine skin, any chance it will fill with meat?”
“Here comes a fairy photon torpedo.”
“After the first day he decided I was magically delicious and chased me for miles.”
“No sense letting this gnome’s stuff go to waste!”
"If there was no honor, I would have let the monkeys kill him."
"I usually get paid in crayons."
"Well she was small and pink and skinny - but at least she had horns."
"Hexam, we have the monkey-water-problem solved!"
"Seems to be 30 minutes short of an hour glass."
"He contracted the fatal self exploding disease."
"Uh, I remember, I remember a lot, I remember not being able to buy a cup of coffee one morning too."
"I'll have my monkey pet look through the blood for my arm."
"Kenn, pretend it's diet coke and you just ate your third happy meal."
“I don’t know what to do, I’m alone and I don’t have magical equipment!”
“You win for being pushy and controlling.”
“Unfortunately, your first priority is customer service..”
“Man can not sleep on bread alone.”
"He's smarter than most idiots we trust!"
“Give me my arm...no, don't throw it I can't catch!!!”
“So what did we learn from this session?” “Don’t fuck with prayer wheels.”
“Does the monkey appear to be useful on this pedestal?”
“There’s no dark lake full of evil creatures that want to eat us.”
“I’m not commin into the room if you’re gona kill the bed.”
“We don’t deal with Titans very much in my line of work…I’m only 17 after all.”
“This dungeon fell apart due to a vitamin deficiency.”
“It sucks when you start the battle and your enemies have aerial superiority…especially when you don’t know what aerial superiority is.”
“Oh ya, and I suppose those two Hyena-men are just out and about making treaties as well..”
“Clever but stupid is a stupid but stupid idea.”
“I got into trouble and hocked up a leaf.”
“So are you gona eat me like it says in the book?”
“Look at it, its squished. I can’t eat it if its squished.”
“Wait, this is a dog talking to me?”
“I was hanging out with promiscuous goblins…”
“I’m heavily armed and I have animal empathy.”
“I’m not as strong and, uh, puffy as you.”
“I think you’re the first ranger to track himself…three times!”
“Green eyes mean things are attacking me.”
“How bad could one little cascade be anyway?”
“They had weapons and armor. She had…a hungry look.”
“It could be a door.” “Or something worse..”
“A giraffe in the hallway isn’t going over the top of anything..”
“You’re dangerously normal.”
“I’m gona put my hands on it, and moonwalk backwards..”
“People jump off every time I get on the train..”
“Sweet, vision and experience all at the same time! Its like Christmas!”
“Why is there always a dildo in this adventure?!”
“I wonder if I can attach a cushion to the end of my bow or something?”
“You gota watch out for those gnomes, or you’ll get bubbles up the whoopsadiasy!”
“So your worried about her property but you want to nail her to a cross?!”
“The more awake we are, the less likely it is that we will die
It took me 10 years and 50 campaigns to get that sword.
The cloak was an elven cloak of wind walking, which is double-speed, so no.
Can't hear you over the sound of me rubbing his sword on my balls.
Why is he a pirate? He only speaks gnome.
I've dreamed of this moment, in the game.
It's the gnome waiter from the tavern. What? No. Why?
Don't you know why Jeff Winger, of all people, led the charge on the Fat Neil feel-good committee?
Someone asked where the restrooms were. You were standing by them, but you were also standing kind of near, uh, other Neil.
You can all hang out in suspended humiliation and think about what you learned today.
I take the sword of Duquesne, and I throw it at the amulet around the sad naked man's neck.
And so it was that Pierce Hawthorne saved the life of Fat Neil while learning very, very little.
You'd hear things from miles away and wear backpacks as earrings.
I stared death in the face a dozen times, and I did all that to be with a woman who chose a fierce and cruel man over my unconditional love.
"This place isn't haunted. It's got theives and muderers in it though."
"I was right all along. No ghosts. But something is going on. The council should be told."
"WHEN I'LL CATCH UP WITH THAT BITCH, I'M GOING TO GET MIRENN'S THOUGHTS OUT OF HER, AND THEN RIP HER BRAIN APART!!! DAMN IT!"
"And... we found signs of habitation. Someone has a dormitory set up in the basement..... I think someone is hiding something there. I doubt that the place is haunted... but there is evil there."
"No.... I was betrayed.... backstubbed... how could I relax? There are enemies everywhere..."
"I am Sabaten of Lathidus and when I heard of your grief and efforts against evil in the Cursed House I came to see who you are."
"The wounds of my flesh are already sealed, unlike the wounds of my soul"
"Let us return to the house of evil and banish the darkness."
"Demons... devils... willo-the-wisps come to steal us away..."
"Nonsense. It senses our approaching doom. Our rightious might."
"I am.... a Mentalist, as some call it. A Human depandant on his own mind, spirit and soul."
"You heard it.... it's the screaming room. The thing in the screaming room!"
"Smugglers, pirates, spies.... anyone of interest in signaling the sea. And someone with money for all these expensive clothes."
"Hmmmnnn... Some sort of code? for the lantern?"
"I've found some kind of nautical book... everything a sea faring man needs to know..."
"Well, sometime back there were some kids who dissapeared up here in the house, murdered. The towns folks have always feared the house, saying it's haunted."
"This place is full of secrets... the secrets of these 'sailors.'"
"Like bandits, only by sea... pirates I guess."
One is shaped as a human skull, another as an apple, and most astonishingly, the third is a golden rose of perfect detail.
looks up at the stars, and frowns. "What is that?" He asks. "Some kind of phosphorescent moss on the cavern roof?"
has stopped rowing, now, and tries to find canvas, or a blanket, anything to keep the light of the stars from touching him.
"Yes, Dev`Mith. They are real. The sun is real, it will come up in a few hours and fill everything with light."
"A stowaway, in a rowboat?!?"
"How much gold do we have? I only have one copper piece."
"The 'stars', they are said to be the eyes of the condemned, set there to pass judgement over... over those who leave the homelands."
"We must go out into the sun? Will not the soul stealer find us?"
"Soul stealer? No one steals the soul of those who walks under the sun. Souls cannot be stolen. They are bound with your flesh."
"It will not steal your soul. It cannot. it's just a huge ball of fire far high in the sky."
thinks, Why would the city want to see a frightened Elf?
"That was certainly nice of the Council to pay for our lodging, and possibly they will give us more jobs."
"I'm willing to take a smaller share. I'm quite grateful to you for rescuing me, and allowing me to follow you around to record this story. Intrigue! Wonderful!"
"Why were there undead there in that house, though? Seems odd. He scribbles upon his page
Maybe to guard the Alchemist. There was that note, 'beyond the skeletons,' we found in one of his books."
"We should see what is in the metal box, and consult with Dev'Mith."

finishes his meal, drops some coins for the meal. He heads for the door. "We can continue this when we everyone present."
He looks at you over the rims of half-spectacles. "A trapped lock hmmmmmm?"
with locksmiths tools, examines and finishes opening the box. "I'm a locksmith, not an alchemist...."
"It might be dangerous, but you came highly recommended."
"Yeah, hardly every spoken anymore.... it's an old gypsy tongue."
"Gypsies? What would these nomads have to do with some pirates?"
goes and sits in the corner, pulls out a quill and parchment, and begins making some notes.
"My people trade with many others, it is good to understand contracts one signs..."
"Well, I've seen things. Doesn't mean I could read a Gypsy book though."
"Careful of that one. I put the poisoned needle into it. I think they're all Gypsy, I just haven't seen those symbols before."
"Yes... I stayed for a couple seasons apprenticed to a gypsy locksmith when I was younger."
"I didn't know there were Gypsy locksmiths."
"Even gypsy's have need of locks. Actually, many of them are skilled artisans of one sort or another."
"I've been in the old house, in the place of the alchemist"
"I doubt we'll find an alchemist in a town this small. Maybe a herbalist. Let's split up the loot!"
takes the book and looks for traps. "Hmm, doesn't appear to be trapped."
Maybe you are invisible to everyone.... you are never invisible to me. You are always important to me...
scans the first page... then his jaw drops open, and his eyes widen.
his mouth not seeming to work for a moment. "M...miss, I... may I... the book is of spells...can I ...?"
you have brought us a great resource. Just think of what spells he could cast now.
"Hmm... well, magic is cool, spells and all, but how about all this gold. Let's split it up."
The book is bound in green dyed leather with gold trim and brass fastenings.
We got 11 platinum pieces, a lot of gold, and two tubes of strangely-looking liquid
.I recognize the symbols on those vials, though
"I'm wounded a bit.... a few days will be needed in order to recover from my wounds. The dwarf should get an equal share."
"So give your gold to Ullena, Foline, she is a good woman and deserves much respect and honor."
"I mean we should keep some money as a group, for emergencies."
"I would hate to take your money for something that is bound to fail."
Perhaps we could find a jeweler's and buy some gems. They are much easier to carry?
"Points out that we got a lot of this money by selling gems.
will study the spellbook, get his money exchanged in such a way that he can carry it, and stay away from the sun and moon as much as he can.
As it turns out (which is no surprise to some of you) none of the merchandise was stolen from merchants of this city, and so you were able to sell it all without remorse.
We would be honored if your party would continue to assist our city in thwarting the return of the smugglers.
In return for your capture of this ship, which you may keep, we will pay you again for your services
The council has also agreed to continue to pay for your lodging during this time.
"Alex, will you come with me sometime to the forest, you know we are having fun there Smile"
will attempt to teach 'Nahal's Reckless Dweomer'.
"It opens a rift to the place where magical energy dwells, and allows it to flow out. You try to shape that energy as it does so, though it doesn't always work."
"I want to try to get access to the prisoner we've brought back, and rip the information out of his mind."
The prisoner is kept in the city jail. The council agrees to let you access to him.
rips the information out of the prisoner's mind, tearing the data from him, bit by bit. He looks in the prisoner's mind for arrival times, size of ship, size of crew, etc.
"For example, that Captain in the Council?"
"An X is a longer light... I suppose."
"Probably on the balcony of that screaming room."
"I'm thinking that the second line needs to repeated twice."
"I can just see him.... 'Bringing light to the pirate vessel on the darkest day of the month' or some other nonsense."
"I can just see him.... 'Bringing light to the pirate vessel on the darkest day of the month' or some other nonsense."
"Given that they had undead things under their control it would make sense to have a priest on hand."
"The skeletons could have been left over from when the alchemist was alive. He had a spell in his book to create them."
"At the new moon's evening, we should position ourselves in that house. The ones good in fighting should be at the docking cave, the ones less offensive should stand with the fueled lantern on the screaming room's balcony."
"Well, I volunteer to man the signaling lantern."
(by reckoning of the end of the Unholy Wars)
Until one day he was captured in his sleep by a band of smugglers from the surface.
Near the time of his birth, news of the Dark One's invasion reached the area of where he was born, and panic then to claim the hearts of the simple farmers.
Like many socities controlled by dread and agony the peasants found themselves a scapegoat
known by rumors as mindbenders, mystics, telepaths and thought-readers.
First he thought that this was a conincidence that his "day dream" became true, but he found himself more and more capable of feeling his family's thoughts and emotions.
He's quite against a tough, orginized government; He prefers a loose administration that doesn't demand from the citizens more than what is needed to prevent anarchy.
sees technology, Psi and wizard magic as the keys to the future, as well as the powers of nature

A) Kill an Orge.
B) Get himself some money and a bit of fame, and get a stable social status at Tel-Akbar
C) See a true Greater Path magician.
D) Fight a few goblins or other ruffians and show them that Psionics are far better than brute force.
R) Get himself a good riding horse, on which he could ride an take most of his equipment.
S) Learn Psychic Surgery and begin to understand and use it.
T) Gain acess to PsychoKinetic powers.

First encounter was with an acidic blob. I drank it
Then there was the old folks trapped in an illusion. I figured out that the way past them was up the chimney.
Then there was the massive room with the Chimera-Hydra-Demon. I jumped from a platform and sliced it's body off from it's heads. "It can grow new heads, but can it grow a new body?" It worked.
After that was some illusion crap, and I managed to disbelieve the dungeon somehow, which turned out to be a false disbelieving. So I was hallucinating that the dungeon was an illusion, but the impenetrable wall was real (it was actually an illusion).
Then there was the fight with this demon. I wrestled it, since my sword wasn't magic enough to hurt it. I couldn't hurt it, but I did manage to hold it still while the various other party members assaulted it with their magical powers.
At that point, someone got a hold of my character sheet, and saw my level... and face palmed.








Friendship isnt about who you've known the longest. its about who walked into your life and said "Im here for you" and proved it.

To make a differance in someones life, you do not have to be brilliant,rich,beautiful or perfect.You just have to care.

"Dont believe those who tell you they love you, believe those who show you they do."

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman there to hear, is he still wrong?

Somewhere, deep in an Indonesian jungle, there is a towering abandoned church. It's shaped like a chicken. You're welcome.

When a bird is alive, it eats ants; when the bird is dead, ants eat the bird.

One tree makes a million matchsticks; only one match stick is needed to burn a million trees.

Time & Circumstances can change at any time. You may be powerful today, but remember, Time is more powerful than you!

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.

A book fell on my head; I can only blame my shelf.

The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.

The people who are meant to be in your life are the ones who know how to gently wait for you to heal.

My soul was removed to make room for all this sarcasm.

"Not if you use the Chinese spoon, it cuts rice"
"Too hard on the teeth, like its fighting back at ya, y'know, heh heh, Russia!"
"Its some kind of pixie dust that went wrong.."
"Thank God I didnt have another incident like the Civil Defense Crackers.."
She and her people stole Spock's brain to be their computer core making him kind of a living Pentium
"Split second lunches.....color coded disposable dishes. All part of the instant society of tomorrow. All part of a society rich in leisure, and taken for granted comfort."
I was waiting to see what brand beer they keep in the "house of the future"
"You fools! You blew it all up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!"
I was also waiting for "Hal" from a space Odyssey to come on in the kitchen..."sorry Karen, I can't cook that"
"Communal Service Agency"... That doesn't sound ominous or foreboding at all.
And now, all of that information is stored in your smartphone, and not in humongous, blinking-light boxes.
haha he went from an Astro-physicist to hosting "tic-tac-dough!"
Little Billy does his math homework on the Chromozone machine. Is it X or Y Billy?
the house of 1999 sounds fucking amazing. how much longer until we get there?
I live the future 15 years ago created 65 years ago!!
Ah, yes! Remember 14 years ago, when Mars set off the Q Bomb?
Predicting online purchases in 1961! WHAT?!
Why, if you tried too hook all the machines up in the world wouldn't they get tangled up in a web?
Eight gigs of storage costs only $5 now, but the same storage in 1980 cost $400,000
"the card dialer... an electric finger that dials for you".
Oh great! It's Rocket Express delivering my Jupiter DTS HD 10000p AV receiver with 30.1 channels of sound that I ordered online 30 minutes ago!

1960: " in 20 years time, were going to have hover cars and robotic servants" 1980: "in 30 years time, where going to have flying cars and off-world colonies in distant solar systems" 1990: "in 10 years time, EVERYTHING'S FUCKED! PLANES WILL FALL OUT OF THE SKY, AND ALL CIVILIZATION WILL COLLAPSE!!!" 2000: "in 20 years time, we will have a renewable source of energy, and more scientific breakthroughs" 2013: shits pretty good 2024: "30年後に、私たちの銀河帝国はturiansを征服され、砦は我々なります"

1961 - The human asks, "Can my machine talk to your machine?"
after 2000 - Your electronic device asks, "Can my human talk to your human?

"The movies' depressing and scary and long, and also silent."
"Sometimes the imagination is hotter than the Boobs"
"Alien robots are fair game as well, as long as thier sentient."
"Now we are on the epic level of divinity shit."
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OgreBattle
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Joined: 03 Sep 2011
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

That indeed is a very long list
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Judging__Eagle
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Joined: 07 Mar 2008
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Location: Lake Ontario is in my backyard; Canada

PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Some of those I've seen elsewhere; otherwise a laundry list of possible statements; but every group is different.
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