So... Star Wars [Spoilers]

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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

Ancient History wrote:I have a series of Star Wars fanfiction. They're not terribly good. It's complete fanboy shit, minus all of the main series characters, except maybe the Force ghost of Luke Skywalker at some point. I had my guy behead a wookie with a lightsaber once, and he got sent to Jedi prison and met Sith the E. T. Anyway, I say all this because the New Trilogy fucks with the background for my stories, which was based on the EU. So I wrote a terrible story to work it in:

http://www.the-unpublishable.com/2016/0 ... ities.html

Next time, I'm going to write one about TIE Fighters that are also mechas.
Neat.

I don't write fanfic myself, but I'll swap you one from one of my favorite authors. They also do fanfiction.

Edit: In a fit of fanboy, I noticed said author had a new fic and forgot about this post and went and read the fic. Then pressed "Post".

So. Here.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5759101/1/ ... -Sith-Lord
Last edited by Maxus on Mon Jan 11, 2016 8:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

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Post by Hiram McDaniels »

I just saw TFA today (I was waiting for the crowds to die down), and I enjoyed it a lot. But then I'm pretty much the core demographic for the movie: I love Star Wars because it was a big part of my childhood, but in my mind the franchise consists of episodes 4,5 & 6 and the rest like the prequels and the EU is just some ancillary nonsense that I couldn't give a hot shit about. This movie hit all the notes that I was looking for in a Star Wars movie.

I pretty much accepted the First Order and the Resistance right away, because my assumption was that the FO was just a new regime that arose within the Empire when Vader and Palpatine died in RotJ, and they had been warring with the newly reformed Republic for 35 years.

I will say that Star Wars movies need a new plot. I'm getting a little burned out on Death Stars.

I liked Kylo Ren. My take away was that he essentially wanted to be Darth Vader, but whenever his composure slips he turns into a bratty punk ass. I wonder if there's any significance to the fact that his facial scar mirrors Snoke's.
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Post by Shrapnel »

Ancient History wrote:Next time, I'm going to write one about TIE Fighters that are also mechas.
It's been done.
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Count Arioch the 28th
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

Hiram McDaniels wrote: I liked Kylo Ren. My take away was that he essentially wanted to be Darth Vader, but whenever his composure slips he turns into a bratty punk ass.
I liked how it was obvious the other Imperials First Order peeps are clearly sick of his shit. He was trying to be ominous and threatening like Vader and they were telling him to piss off back.
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Post by Ancient History »

Shrapnel wrote:
Ancient History wrote:Next time, I'm going to write one about TIE Fighters that are also mechas.
It's been done.
Well yes, but I still want to write about giant mecha lightsaber battle against Imperial walkers.
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Post by erik »

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:
Hiram McDaniels wrote: I liked Kylo Ren. My take away was that he essentially wanted to be Darth Vader, but whenever his composure slips he turns into a bratty punk ass.
I liked how it was obvious the other Imperials First Order peeps are clearly sick of his shit. He was trying to be ominous and threatening like Vader and they were telling him to piss off back.
To be fair, people told Vader to piss off too, and officers were sick of his mysticism. Granted, Vader would force choke them and kill high ranking officers instead of consoles, but people still told him to screw off, which frankly makes it all the more remarkable.
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Post by Maxus »

erik wrote:
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:
Hiram McDaniels wrote: I liked Kylo Ren. My take away was that he essentially wanted to be Darth Vader, but whenever his composure slips he turns into a bratty punk ass.
I liked how it was obvious the other Imperials First Order peeps are clearly sick of his shit. He was trying to be ominous and threatening like Vader and they were telling him to piss off back.
To be fair, people told Vader to piss off too, and officers were sick of his mysticism. Granted, Vader would force choke them and kill high ranking officers instead of consoles, but people still told him to screw off, which frankly makes it all the more remarkable.
He only choked the one at first, enough to scare him. He only started executing people for failure after Tarkin died and the only person Vader answered to was the Emperor. I assume after that people got a lot more polite and respectful.

There's an equivalent here with the officer, whatsisname. He's on equal status with Ren, basically.
Last edited by Maxus on Tue Jan 12, 2016 12:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Post by Hiram McDaniels »

Count Arioch the 28th wrote: I liked how it was obvious the other Imperials First Order peeps are clearly sick of his shit. He was trying to be ominous and threatening like Vader and they were telling him to piss off back.
Yeah...I got the sense that the writers absolutely intended for Kylo Ren to be just a cheesy vader cosplayer. I actually liked him better when takes off his helmet and throw emo tantrums. Made him seem more real to me.
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Post by erik »

Would have seemed more real to me with a haircut and brown hair rather than a young professor Snape.
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Post by Occluded Sun »

I couldn't help but wonder how they managed to nullify the mass of an entire star inside the... is there a name for the superweapon thing?
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Post by Maxus »

erik wrote:Would have seemed more real to me with a haircut and brown hair rather than a young professor Snape.
When he took the helmet off, I wondered how he got all that hair stuffed in that thing.

That's gotta be hot to wear.

And has a good chance of your hair being stuffed down your own ear.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

Occluded Sun wrote:I couldn't help but wonder how they managed to nullify the mass of an entire star inside the... is there a name for the superweapon thing?
A space wizard did it. And it was called Starkiller Base.
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Post by Occluded Sun »

Ugh, no wonder I couldn't remember that. What a ridiculous name.
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Post by Kaelik »

While it is certainly an OT tradition to have super grandiose names including the word star in them, (Star Destroyer, Death Star) it's still dumb as shit.

Could have done with a Super Weapon called "LR-PDL" or something instead.
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Post by Emerald »

The most likely reason for it being called Starkiller Base is that Luke Skywalker was originally named Luke Starkiller in the early scripts of Star Wars (which was fully titled "The Adventures of Luke Starkiller: Episode One: The Star Wars" :roll:), so just like the rest of the movie, nostalgia/callbacks take precedence over making sense.
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Post by Wiseman »

Keys to the Contract: A crossover between Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Kingdom Hearts.
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RadiantPhoenix wrote:
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The D&D wizard is a work of fiction that has a completely unrealistic expectation of "uses a book".
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Post by Korwin »

About the parsec thing, they (Disney) might want to present something in the "Young Han Solo" film.
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Post by OgreBattle »

God damn, Han Solo is such a gigantic piece of shit, no wonder Kylo is so fucked up.

"He's got too much VADER in him". Vader's been dead for 30 years and Han blames that guy for how his son turned out.

Han goes "there's NOTHING we could do, our son is gone FOREVER" to justify why he's gone back to selling drugs for a living.

On Quora a bunch of folks are going "HAN SOLO IS BEST DAD HE DIE FOR GOODNESS" so I wrote my own hateful tirade on it:

https://www.quora.com/In-The-Force-Awak ... e-Chaisiri

It reminds me of the Ares Spears skit on White parenting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_Uj1FRmLao

(Everything would've turned out better if Lando was Ben's dad...)
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Post by Kaelik »

People have been making jokes about how just beating your kids is better parenting and other people who don't do that are terrible parents for longer than I have been alive.

And yet, there is absolutely no evidence that this is the case...

But sure, let's just make jokes about how beating people for no reason will make them better people when they grow up.
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The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.

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Post by Prak »

erik wrote:Would have seemed more real to me with a haircut and brown hair rather than a young professor Snape.
Image
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

I got the crap beat out of me a lot, I turned out fine.
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Post by Prak »

Image
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by Chamomile »

No one who advocates child abuse has a right to get angry about police brutality. Authority using violent force to correct non-violent behaviors either is or isn't acceptable, you can't bitch about it when you're the target and make excuses when you're the source.
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

I don't have kids so I don't know but how do you keep young children in line before they develop the ability to consider the consequences of their actions? Judging by people my age with children the answer of choice is "do nothing" and raise unbearable little shits, but I don't think that's the best possible choice
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Post by deaddmwalking »

I have three children, ages 8, 4, and ~6 months. I'm firmly of the opinion that children are suicide machines actively trying to kill themselves at all times. I am proud that I've been able to keep my children alive despite their best efforts.

I have never had to hit my children to keep them safe.

I have had to yell, particularly in parking lots. I have had my children cry because they were scared by the sound of my voice. That's something I feel bad about, but I hope it is better than the alternative of using a spank or slap to keep them close while we walk near traffic or in other potentially dangerous situations.

It is my opinion that most 'public discipline' is intended as a show for people who were inconvenienced by the child's acts. Time outs work from about the time a child is 2. It definitely works for my 4 and 8 year old.

I can't conceive of anything that a child under two could do that would require any type of discipline - if a child is into something inappropriate, you simply physically remove them from the issue.
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