I Accidentally Joined a Bearworlds Game

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AndreiChekov
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I Accidentally Joined a Bearworlds Game

Post by AndreiChekov »

A few weeks ago, I decided to try playing a game on Roll20, not a tome game, just a game with random strangers. They said that they were open to homebrew, and even showed me a class that one person was using. Bloodmage, basically a nerfed wizard that can take con dmg to increase spells per day.
Looks sort of promising, so I show them my paladin, and immediately, they get really worried. It has 9th level spells, he doesn't even look at the spell list, just the number, and immediately wants me to reduce a prepared caster to bard spell leves, and spells known.

I thankfully manage to talk him out of the spells known thing, which means that I have a class that I can live with. Essentially a core paladin with bard spellcasting.

The second thing that I get crap for is that I added the ability to make healing kits from NWN2 as a first level ability, they cost 30 gold. He thinks that these are too powerful, but I explain how they aren't viable in combat, and I can't afford one right now anyway.

So far he seems like a reasonable guy that just doesn't have all that much experience as a DM.
the first session

First session comes. I see an Imp. I detect evil at the Imp, and ask it's intentions. Turns out the Imp is a PC. I am then declared an asshole for assuming that a normally evil creature is evil.

Then I ask the party members what classes they are, and what they do, we have a ranger, a badwizard, a knight, and myself as a mildly buffed pally.

Apparently this is too much for the DM. He sets aside a personal call to me to tell me not to metagame. By this point I am drunk, and can't argue anyway, so I just apologize and stop talking to the party members. After 30 minutes of bad jokes between the mage and the ranger, nothing has happened.

We are shipwrecked, we get to a castle, and see some lizards. In about 2 1/2 hours, this is all that has happened. So, 3 lizardmen, my character has ranks in diplomacy and speaks everything, so I try to persuade them to let us use a room in their castle. I roll a 26, and so they decide to try stabbing me in the face. By this point, I stumbled outside to vomit, and then I went to bed.

the second session
So, before this session starts, I take the time to tell our DM, a person which I am not yet convinced to hate, that the knight is going to suck and never actually tank. I suggest a mild buff of allowing him to taunt per encounter instead of per day. This is accepted well.
Then I explain, in the same message how detect evil works, because he wasn't sure the night before.

So, we begin the next session. I arrive a bit early, and the DM excitedly tells me that a "healer" is joining the group. So, at this point, I ask if he means healer class, or someone with healing powers. Healer class.

Next thing I find out, is that he has an annoying voice, is under the impression that he is the god of the party because he could heal enemies, he has taken a vow of nonviolence, and his entire character concept is based around screwing with the rest of the party. I mean, in one exchange, he took the time to talk for so long about sparring the poor lizard's life that we had taken prisoner. No one was even talking about killing it. I just wanted to leave it tied up for a bit while we figured out what we were doing. Eventually I gave in because the guy was so longwinded. So, we start exploring, and this guy decides to pick up everything, at which point, I discover that he has a vow of poverty, and nonviolence... And he mentioned something about point blank spell being a good feat...

We get to the lower level of the dungeon, there is a trap in a room, the floor is falling, so I take my axe to a door to try to smash my way out. But I roll a 5, apparently rolling low means that something bad has to happen. I start falling through the floor, and for some reason a bat is able to lift me. So, first off he basically kills me, and then decides to keep me alive through fiat. Oh, and the square through which I fell, isn't even a part of his original falling floor pattern.

Next we fight 4 lizard men. I take my position in the front line, and roll my first 1, he has fumble charts. Except they aren't really fumble charts, he just says that, because I noticed that a result of 42 on the fumble chart did different things each time...

So, we are level 1, the knight didn't show up to this game, the healer won't attack, the ranger has no dex and is using a light crossbow, and the imp doesn't cast a spell on his first turn. The lizardmen that we are fighting have an AC of 18. We start seeing red.
All of a sudden the imp casts a spell, evards black tentacles... Which nobody actually knows how to use, so I have to walk them through it step by step. So, we win that because apparently the Imp can cast 4th level spells.

I use detect evil, and the healer decides that he wants to save the life of these lizardmen that radiate evil. I coup de grace as many as I can before he can heal them.

The fight ends with everyone at 3 hp.

The session ends here.

3rd session
We level up at the beginning of the session.
So, we get into another fight, and this is the big boss of the castle, a giant lizardman! We set up to fight it, and I start with detect evil. He and his minions are all evil. wooo! I wrote smite to work on every creature hit provided I know that they are evil.
So, thats +3 atk rolls, and +2 dmg. OMG wayyyyy tooo strong. Instantly they stop being evil. And I am pretty sure that there will never ever ever be another evil creature. He justifies it by "forgetting" that I had told him that detect evil detects evil power, rather than actual alignment... whatever, I'm still the best melee in the group. And I'm just biding my time for my pokehorse when I will charge and the DM won't like me anymore.

So, we are fighting this boss, and suddenly phantasmal killer, and the boss dies. So, apparently my paladin that is basically a nerfed cleric, was too strong, but the level 1&2 casting of 4th level spells isn't. And then the ranger goes exploring with the imp, and opens a chest, the imp calls out that they found a chest, so the rest of us show up and the ranger complains that we wouldn't know about it. He eventually relents, but there is no team unity in this game.

The session ends with me crafting a heal kit, and I'm sure that it will be nerfed next session because someone might end up at full hp. Oh the horror!

So, session ends, I almost have enough money to buy a riding dog.

After this the Imp calls me on skype to talk to me about.... I have no idea, I think he was trying to persuade me that he isn't getting anything special because he is the DM's friend, but he has 4th level spells. And he was so drunk that he was just talking in circles for hours.

I have another session coming up on friday. Things that I expect, my lay on hands will be nerfed, and my healing kit will be nerfed because I will make the healer redundant. which will make my class abilities divine grace... and a few spells at bard level. I should probably just never return.

TL;DR
Elements of Dischord
1. Fumble charts
2. DM favouritism where a character has 4th level spells at lvl 1
3. Any low roll has negative effects, it is better to not act unless you are guaranteed a result of 10
4. 2 players that are just there to fuck with other players.
5. nerfs to things that are not actually powerful, but only when applied to my character. (No one else has seen a single nerf, and they have all performed better than me.)
Peace favour your sword.

I only play 3.x
Red_Rob
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Post by Red_Rob »

Guess you'll just have to grin and bear it.

Alternatively get your Paladin killed and ask to play a Blood Mage. Then show them what Phantasmal Killer and Black Tentacles can really do. :mischief:
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radthemad4
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Post by radthemad4 »

I have another session coming up on friday.
I believe it is currently more than Friday.
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AndreiChekov
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Post by AndreiChekov »

radthemad4 wrote:
I have another session coming up on friday.
I believe it is currently more than Friday.
It was cancelled. I have to wait another Friday to suffer for more story. Pains of journalism, and all that.
Peace favour your sword.

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Post by Maxus »

So it's been pawsed.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

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Post by Shady314 »

I'm sorry for your suffering but you've managed to bearly entertain me so some good has come of it. I will keep reading to see bear this goes.
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Post by Shrapnel »

Maxus wrote:So it's been pawsed.
This is how you do a bear pun.


I'm not much of TTRPG person and this is still entertaining and infuriating. Looking forward to moar.
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AndreiChekov
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Post by AndreiChekov »

Session 4
Had another game last night. Due to work, I turned up late.

I log into the game, and the first thing I see is a 4 trolls surrounding the party. After asking a few questions, these are called "Troll Runts" by the DM, so I figure that it might be possible to defeat them with our level 2 party.

Knight is back, healer is out, and we have a new player playing a Toucan. No idea how that is meant to work...

So, I don't pay all that much attention until my turn comes around, and I charge a troll. Hurrah! my 18 misses! And then the troll turns me into minced meat. Apparently having +7 to atk rolls and 1d8+8 dmg makes perfect sense. So, while the party flails about dying everywhere, the familiar of the blood mage suddenly gets some free buffs that make it a flying blender. Its attacks basically never miss, and it is sending out 12 dmg every round.

And, he doesn't allow people to stabilize unless they reach 1 hit point. So, you get 50% rolls, where you die if you roll under 3 times, and go back to 1 hp if you roll over 3 times. Which is objectively worse than what it was before because the amount of healing to stabilize someone increases to expend more resources, and you really can't just leave someone for a few turns while finishing off the fight.

So, after the bat, which is now being called a zubat, or maybe it was the whole time and I didn't notice, cleans up the battle field, the druid realizes that he has been a druid the whole time, and totally not a ranger, and he gets a second animal companion, for no reason. He heals me, and then I heal everyone else, just enough to make sure that they survive.

We then discuss camping for a bit to get spells back, and tend to wounds, at which point, the DM says, "What if I just have more trolls coming to get this open territory." And while we are still discussing the pros and cons of this, he suddenly puts a dragon on the bridge.
I speak draconic, so I ask the dragon about our current quest, and if he knows of any good nearby inns.
At which point the DM says something about DM shut down, and makes everyone attempt will saves against cocaine. For some reason this has the same effect as mushrooms, so everybody start seeing things, and the knight almost drowns because he tries to swim in armour... This takes 45 minutes, and then the session ends.

No healer this time, so the party actually worked together for a bit. And at one point, I attempted to get the party to focus fire, but that was called metagaming, even though I spoke in character...

And I just remembered this, evards tentacles is suddenly shut down by the DM, who is just making up monster numbers as he goes along, because the trolls get +12 to grapple checks, +7 to attack rolls, and +8 on dmg rolls... These numbers don't actually relate to anything. Oh, and they have 19 AC, and the hp totals were completely random, where one of them only had 6 hit points...

On a positive note, I now I have 150 gp, so riding dog and spirited charge next level, but the AC of enemies will still be too much for me to hit, so I should probably just stop trying that route of attack.

TL;DR
1. trolls with +7 atk rolls and 1d8+8 dmg vs level 2 characters
2. Players discuss resting, and it isn't the end of the day yet. Dragon attack!
3. turns out dragon is cocaine, and everyone goes insane for failing the will save with a DC of whatever the DM felt like, we had no idea. (I can't wait for 3rd level to make me immune to disease and poison.)

The paladin thing, which I am using.
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Peace favour your sword.

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OgreBattle
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Post by OgreBattle »

Do you think he's making stuff up along the way, or just terrible at planning and math.
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Post by radthemad4 »

And at one point, I attempted to get the party to focus fire, but that was called metagaming, even though I spoke in character...
Jeez, what is wrong with that guy?

How much did the Toucan contribute?

I'm having great difficulty parsing the whole cocaine dragon business. Could you elaborate?

Also, please continue to bear with these guys. For Science!
Last edited by radthemad4 on Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Whipstitch »

AndreiChekov wrote:(I can't wait for 3rd level to make me immune to disease and poison.)
He'll just have people cosh you all sneaky like.
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AndreiChekov
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Post by AndreiChekov »

radthemad4 wrote:
And at one point, I attempted to get the party to focus fire, but that was called metagaming, even though I spoke in character...
Jeez, what is wrong with that guy?

How much did the Toucan contribute?

I'm having great difficulty parsing the whole cocaine dragon business. Could you elaborate?

Also, please continue to bear with these guys. For Science!
The toucan used cure light wounds twice. I'm pretty sure that everything about the toucan is made, and the DM seems to hate his pet monsters dying, so I assume that he is just making up the numbers when they come up.

About the dragon
As a party, we were discussing whether or not to stop and rest. The DM didn't want us to, so he put a spyro token on the bridge. My character speaks draconic, so I attempt to communicate with it.
At this point he says, "Are you seriously trying to interact with a joke?" Before anyone can say anything, we all have to make will saves with a DC of whatever he felt like.
Then, everyone is then forced to do crazy things because the dragon breathes cocaine on us. So, I volunteer my own crazy, so that it isn't so bad, I say that I'm guarding the perimeter against trees.

The rest of them don't volunteer anything, and so they are then told that they are doing things like jumping of the bridge in heavy armour, or trying to make bolts out of grass.

This takes 45 minutes to get through all of this. I went away for 20 minutes, and nobody even noticed.
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Post by Nebuchadnezzar »

Dude, please see if you can get the bird killed, just to hurt this shitheel's feelings.
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Post by AndreiChekov »

Session 5
Last time, we were pretty close to a town at session end, so we head into the town. Rather than just letting us buy what we want, the DM decides that he needs to roleplay the buying experience for each of us, as if none of us have ever gone shopping before.
This takes an hour, and we also get to level up at the same time.
I buy a riding dog, saddle, and get spirited charge. I have 0 gold, so I can't get a lance yet.

We ask about things around town, and get no information at all. Then by some magic device of DM contrivance we end up in a swamp.

This is where the good part happens. We are surrounded by 4 lizardmen, and 3 alligators. The healer, who has that vow of nonviolence aura of peace bullshit calms them all. Then, the bloodmage steps outside of the healers aura effect, and attacks the enemies. Having been attacked, the enemies are no longer forced to be peaceful, so we slaughter them.
For the first time ever, my weapon actually hits. These things have an AC of 15, so they aren't the murder machines that the DM has sent at us previously.

After we finish murdering all of these creatures, the healer says, in character, "That was unnecessary, and I find that I cannot journey with you any longer." Then he walks off to town, and asks the DM if he can make a new character. EVERYONE cheers at this. Well, I cheered inside, and didn't say anything. But the rest of the party was vocal about how happy they were that that character was gone.

I mentioned that the party doesn't really have any damage, and suggested a flask rogue. Exhealer doesn't know what that is. Then I remembered him talking about how ridiculously powerful his gish fighter with weapon focus ray was... I think he is planning to play a Weaboo fightan Crusader now...

And then the session ends.

Not actually a bad session except for the buying part. and the fact that no one has any idea why we decided to go to the swamp, because we actually didn't decide that.

So, now I am the party's healer. Which, now that I have hit level 3, I can do pretty well.

Also, the toucan was missing. Apparently playing a toucan is what you get to do when you haven't made your character yet.
Peace favour your sword.

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Post by OgreBattle »

"going to a swamp" probably means "I want a Black Dragon to attack you and eat the dog you spent all your gold on"
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Post by Dogbert »

All that suffering, you brought it on yourself.
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Post by RelentlessImp »

the DM decides that he needs to roleplay the buying experience for each of us, as if none of us have ever gone shopping before.
Fuck everything about this.
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Post by Atmo »

Sounds like a real "old-school experience."
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Post by RedstoneOrc »

Damn you AndreiChekov. Have you dropped the game? I love reading other peoples misery.
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AndreiChekov
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Post by AndreiChekov »

I spilled liquid on my computer.

After about a month of lifelessness, it has been fixed, but during that time I was kicked from the group.
Peace favour your sword.

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Post by Red_Rob »

Well, you can't leave it like that...
Simplified Tome Armor.

Tome item system and expanded Wish Economy rules.

Try our fantasy card game Clash of Nations! Available via Print on Demand.

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Post by silva »

Heh. And I really though this somehow related to a BearWorld game.
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Post by Judging__Eagle »

Honestly; this does sound a lot like a totally rules inept MC; who is afraid of being rules inept, and gets super defensive whenever anything they never thought about gets brought up by you.

Calls of metagaming occurring are woefully incorrect (especially if you said it in character); the basic understanding of RNGs and relative PC power scaling are non-existent; and the "punishing" of players with invented bullshit without any sort of structure, rhyme or reason, for doing so.

Much like *-World games; this is what a game looks like when the MC is a power-tripping moron who isn't even remotely willing to let the players hang themselves out to dry; and imagines that their ability to be the entire universe simply isn't absolute power enough; and are now absolutely corrupted by it into performing games so sub-par that they don't even reach the low-water mark of post 1978 pseudo-grognardism.
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silva
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Post by silva »

Frankly, this looks to me one more case of the "writer-wanabe" GM who equates arbitrating a game with "writing a plot from start to finish and leading the players by the nose through it". I actually had a friend like that. In the end he gave up on GMing and decided to write online fanfics. And our RPG group got happier for it.
The traditional playstyle is, above all else, the style of playing all games the same way, supported by the ambiguity and lack of procedure in the traditional game text. - Eero Tuovinen
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