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I made something horrible (no, it's not a baby)

 
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Shrapnel
Prince


Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2015 7:21 pm    Post subject: I made something horrible (no, it's not a baby) Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Okay, so like, consider this an experiment, if you will.

Right. A while back I was reading Ash Vs. Skeletor, a glorious bit from X-Entertainment, and I got motivated to do something similar. At first, I tried to mimic X-E's style, but I realized that I couldn't do that, so I did my own thing. It's a... well, it's not really a comic, but it has pictures (well, photos of action figures) and text and it's done in a similar vein.

I know it's stupid and probably not very funny, but it's just supposed to be a silly little thing, and I managed to entertain myself making it, and hopefully you'll be entertained too.

So, bearing all that in mind, I give unto you...
Click here to see the hidden message (It might contain spoilers)


So there it is. Tain't much, but I thought it was fun. If this is popular enough (i.e. people don't tell me it's a steaming pile of shit), I might make more.
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...You Lost Me
Duke


Joined: 10 Jan 2011
Posts: 1723

PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2015 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

It wasn't bad.
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Again, look at this fucking map you moron. Take your finger and trace each country's coast, then trace its claim line. Even you - and I say that as someone who could not think less of your intelligence - should be able to tell that one of these things is not like the other.
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Eikre
Knight


Joined: 03 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2015 11:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

viewed topic expecting birth announcement.

oh well.
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Shrapnel
Prince


Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

...You Lost Me wrote:
It wasn't bad.


You have no idea how much it means to me to hear that. I'm being serious here.

Eikre wrote:
viewed topic expecting birth announcement.

oh well.


Ryan Reynolds wrote:
When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

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angelfromanotherpin
Overlord


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 7615

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I think it was a steaming pile and you should make more anyway.
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AndreiChekov
Knight-Baron


Joined: 17 Aug 2012
Posts: 523
Location: an AA meeting. Or Caemlyn.

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 3:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I logged in just to comment on this.
I laughed twice.
Which is about 2 more times than I normally do for this sort of thing.
Continue.
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Josh_Kablack
King


Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 5008
Location: Online. duh

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 4:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Thie following commentary is inappropriatefor the Den:

I can say with conviction that it is not a steaming pile of shit.
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TiaC
Knight-Baron


Joined: 20 Jun 2013
Posts: 918

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Josh_Kablack wrote:
Thie following commentary is inappropriatefor the Den:

I can say with conviction that it is not a steaming pile of shit.


Well, no, shit dries out pretty fast. So, something can only be a steaming pile of shit for a few minutes, an hour at most.
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radthemad4
Duke


Joined: 18 Nov 2013
Posts: 2028

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 2:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

The pictures didn't load when I first read it (I blame it on my browser). It's a lot better with them even though I still don't who most of these beings are. Moar!
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Shrapnel
Prince


Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

To fill the interim between installments, here's some random trivia to help with any debaffling.

If your wondering why the "comic" just stops, it's because I couldn't think of what the brain parasite thingy should say, which is why it speaks gibberish, and, not knowing where to go from there, called it a day. (Yes, it's a cop out, but don't worry, the next one won't be. Probably.)

I don't know if you can tell, but the background is a couch in my living room. I tried really hard not to show anything else beyond that, mostly because I felt like it. That's why some shots are at weird angles.

All of the bad guys ('cepting Galvatron) are the actual top brass of Philip Morris, parent company of Marlboro. (I am certain that Drago is a male prostitute, for two reasons: he's European.)

As for why they don't like Exhaust, I refer you here.

(Basically, Exhaust's car mode deco is based off of a real-life race car, which had Marlboro sponsoring on it. When Masterpiece Exhaust was announced, Philip Morris got it's panties in a twist over the fact that it used their corporate markings, and threatened legal action against any Western sellers from, well, selling it. They even went so far as trying to prevent Asian sellers from selling it in the US., which means that Japan is the only place it's legal to buy, sell, and own the toy. Fortunately, I got mine off of eBay sometime before this kerfuffle, and I'm probably the only person on the East Coast who has the toy. Anyway, all of this increased my already intense dislikenment of Marlboro and PM, since they were trying to prevent honest, red-blooded American fans from having an awesome toy.)

If anyone was wondering who the actual figures are, they are, in order of appearance:

- Transformers Masterpiece Exhaust
- Transformers Beast Wars II Megastorm
- GI Joe: Retaliation Bruce Willis Joe Colton
- Some Cylons (I got them a looong time ago at a comic convention)
- G1 Zartan (v12) (from a comic three pack)
- e-Hobby exclusive Galvatron II
- S.H. Figuarts Sailor Uranus
- D-Arts Venusaur
- Gray Hulk from one of the Marvel 3 1/4" lines
- Aaand a brain parasite thingy from LEGO Hero Factory (aka not-Bionicle)

(I just realized that almost half of these I got from Japan via eBay or other online stores.)

Oh, and by the way, "Eei, Cybertron wo hineri-tsubuse!" translates to "Hrr--crush the Autobots!" (Cybertron is the Japanese name for Autobots), and "Washi no kobun ni naran noka!" translates to "You will be my servant!" Both of these phrases are sound clips that the Galvatron II toy plays.

If there are any questions, ask 'em. I love doing this kinda stuff.
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Shrapnel
Prince


Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

(I apologize for the terrible fan-fic, but I felt the need to share.)

E's Big Day
An Earthbound Fan-Fic
By shrapnel

|1|
Belch's Base
"Hey! Get yer tubby butt over here and carry this to Master Belch!"
The slimy little pile handed Foppy number E a large jar filled with a noxious looking yellow liquid. "That's the latest batch of Fly Honey! Make sure ya don't drop it!" E buckled under the weight of the jar. "Why are you making me carry it? I have no arms!" The slimy little pile grinned, toxically bad breath emanating from it's mouth. "Cuz I'm the boss of you and you gotta do what I tell you, that's why. Now... MOVE!" The slimy little pile gave E a shove, and he nearly toppled over. Miraculously, he managed to get his balance just before the jar fell. He made his way over to the ladder leading down to Belch's room, stumbling and nearly tripping the whole way. One of the Mr. Saturn's working the production line looked at E quizzically. "Boing? How do you carry jar with no arms?" E stopped, considering this. "Y'know, I haven't the faintest clue." And he continued on his way.

Finally he made it to Master Belch's room, where the noxious pile of bile was waiting. "Buuurp! Finally! Place the jar here." He gestured with a pseudopod comprised of things best unmentioned. Just as E was about to place the jar, he tripped, sending the jar spinning into the air. He watched helplessly as the jar whirled through space, seemingly in slow motion. Finally it smashed against the floor, sending shards of glass and splashes of fly honey everywhere.

A silence deeper and truer than any E had ever known descended upon the room. Minutes stretched into hours. Empires rose and fell. Molecular clouds formed stars that collapsed and went supernova. The universe succumbed to it's inevitable heat death.

"You dropped my honey. Gyork." Belch finally said, in a voice that was quite a flat. Somehow, this filled E with more terror than if Belch had roared and screamed. "You know what happens when people drop my honey." A statement of fact, not a question. "I get upset. I get angry. And when I get angry... people die." E was sobbing. "Please, great and masterful Geppu-sama, forgive me!"

"Heeg! Heeg! Heeg! No, I think not. Now, prepare to feel the pain of true nausea!" Belch opened his quite frankly disgusting mouth, and let loose a tremendous expulsion of gas, which caught E right square in the middle. The smell of the sinister belch launched E with such force that he crashed through the ceiling, blasting off into the sky until nothing could be seen of him except a twinkling gleam. Belch began to laugh. "Garg! Ga! Garg! Gha ha ha! Ghe he he! God I'm evil." At that moment, Ness and his pals burst into his room, ready to do battle, free the Mr. Saturn's, and de-zombifie Threed...

... but this story ain't 'bout Ness.
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Shrapnel
Prince


Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

.:2:.
♪Flying through the air, higher than anyone else has ever goooonnnee...♪

As E was flying through the air, he realized that he was sick of being a weak underling of angry, nasty people. He decided, as he passed through the upper thermosphere, that he would strike out on his own and become a hero, like the kind that were often featured in video games and Sunday Supplement. He would get strong and beat Master Belch, and finally get some respect.

When he began to fall down to earth, literally, he realized that a more important and immediate goal was NOT DYING.

And as the ground came giddily up to meet him, he realized that that was probably not a realistic one.
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hyzmarca
Prince


Joined: 14 Mar 2011
Posts: 3548

PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

I just have to say, I looked at the title and assumed that there would be baby pictures.
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Shrapnel
Prince


Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Y'know, yer the second person to say something along those lines.

For the record, I'm single and 23. And a Transfan*. I don't expect to be doing any reproducin' any time soon.


*Read that as you will.

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Shrapnel
Prince


Joined: 06 Jan 2012
Posts: 2682
Location: That place where they all go "hoom"

PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2015 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Special message from Exhaust:

Exhaust wrote:
Heya, friends. You may not be wondering why Shrap hasn't done anything lately with this thread. That's because - let's be honest here - he's a bit of a layabout. Lazy doesn't even cover it. Seriously, the guy is so unmotivated that he would turn Tony Robbins into an uninspired pile of slag. I mean, he's never, EVER finished ANY project that he's started. I mean, look at that disaster of an OSSR he did on the Monster Manual.

And he wants to be a writer, too. Hah! What a crock. Jerk wouldn't be able to finish a birthday card. He makes GRRM look punctual.

Anywhat, I just thought I'd tell ya not to get yer hopes too high on him finishing... well, anything, really.


Jeez, what a jerk, amirite? I mean, I'd complain, but it's true. Mea culpa.
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