[LR]Find Your Fate... Junior Transformers: Decepticon Poison

[Shrapnel]

Hey, do you remember when we did The Invisibility Factor? Y'know, the Choose Your Own Adventure Find Your Fate... Junior book about the Millennium Falcon turning Decepticons invisible so that they had invisibility powers and couldn't be seen?

Well, recently I acquired another of those books, this time a number called Decepticon Poison, which has a plot right out of an AKOM episode. So, because precisely two of us (myself and I) have an interest in this kinda thing, I've decided to do another Let's Read of a non-game book.



First, some trivia.

This was the last "pre-movie" era books, after which the books started featuring characters from the movie and 1986 toyline. Gee, wonder why.

Also, this book has the best line of narration ever: Well, somebody's got to save the humans. It may as well be Powerglide.

I'm going to use the Japanese names for Autobot (Cybertron) and Decepticon (Destron). Why? 'Cause I am a massive-ass nerd. It could be worse: I could've decided to call each character by their Japanese names, too. Or their Korean names.

Right, now on with the show!

Ramjet has poisoned the Cybertron's new fuel shipment, leaving many of them crippled and unable to transform. Can Perceptor find a cure before the Destrons attack? What will Prowl's mission to the Destron Poison Lab uncover? Can they stop the Destrons from poisoning the human water supply with their mind-control potion?
The answers to all these questions... are up to you!

Inside the Cybertron headquarters, engines are revving. A new fuel supply has just arrived. With their gas gauges reading near empty, the Cybertrons are ready to fuel up.
Sunstreaker zooms up to the silver tank first, because he's better than you.
"Fill me up, 'cause I'm awesome," he orders, his gleaming, perfect and flawless body screeching to a stop.
Sparkplug, the Cybertrons' human friend, grins at the stylish, Aryan race car.
"Okay, hotshot," he says, and gives Sunstreaker a full tank, because he is superior to everyone else.
Bluestreak, Cliffjumper, Brawn, and Warpath are next. Sparkplug pumps them full of fuel. (Wait, Warpaths a tank! How do you refuel a tank with a standard gas pump?) Soon half the Cybertrons at headquarters are ready to roll.
A rumble goes through the room as mighty Optimus Prime shifts his tractor trailer into gear. He pulls up to the tank with a big appetite.
Just then, Red Alert rushes in. The Cybertron security director's lights are flashing!

---

Turn to page 2.

"Trouble," he roars. "Ramjet's been here. I just saw him flying west from headquarters. I wonder what that sneaky Destron was up to!"
"Transform! Right away," Optimus Prime orders his comrades. "And report to your command posts."
As usual, Sunstreaker wants to be first. Because he's better than you in every way. He strains to turn into a robot. But he's stuck! (Not so superior now, are you?) The other Cybertrons who just refueled are having trouble too. Cybertron headquarters is filled with groans, screeches, and creaks.
"Ugghh! I can't move, but at least I can't move better than the rest of you," Sunstreaker moans.
Optimus Prime has changed into his robot form. He looks around at his fellow Cybertrons. Only those who didn't refuel have transformed.
"Our transforming powers are gone!" Cliffjumper groans.
"KAPOW! We've been ZAM! sabotaged!" Warpath sputters.
"It's the fuel!" Optimus Prime roars. He points an accusing finger at the fuel tank. "Something foul is in Denmark that fuel!"
"Ramjet," Mirage mutters angrily. "He was here on a sabotage mission, which really should've been Ravage's job. He poisoned the fuel!"
"We must act fast, Optimus Prime declares. "The Destrons may return in full force at any time!

---

Turn to page 8

From a quiet corner of headquarters, Perceptor, the Cybertron scientist, steps forward.
"This is undoubtedly an instance of malignant chemical compounds," he says. "Give me a sample of fuel. I shall analyze it in my laboratory and attempt to formulate an antidote. Meanwhile, those of you who are healthy can guard headquarters against a Destron attack."
Optimus Prime begins to nod his head in agreement. Then Prowl steps forward.
"Your experiment may work, Perceptor," he declares like a prick, "but it may not. We can't wait around while you play with your chemistry set! A select group of us must pursue Ramjet. We'll use the small store of emergency fuel we keep. We must find the secret of the Decepticon poison and bring back a cure!"
Both strategies have their risks... and rewards! Perceptor's antidote could save the gasping Cybertrons... if it works... and if it's in time! Prowl's mission could reveal the Decepticons entire plan... if it succeeds... and if they have sufficient firepower!
You must decide which path the Cybertrons will take!

---

If you choose to let Perceptor try to find an antidote, turn to page 16.
If you choose Prowl's strategy for a fast attack, turn to page 24.

[SGamerz]

Attack!

[Shrapnel]

Attack we shall!

"Good thinking, Prowl," Optimus Prime says. "The Destrons have sabotaged us. We must learn the secret of their poison and find out what else they have planned.
"Take me with you," Prowl requests. "This mission requires brains, not brawn!" he adds, pointing at Ironhide (what a prick!).
An angry grumble comes from old Ironhide, not famous for his brainpower (wow, even the authors a dick).
"Prowl is right," the leader agrees (also a dick). "Bumblebee, Mirage," he calls out. "We'll need you for espionage and intelligence gathering. The four of us will infiltrate the Destron hideout."
Ironhide rolls his headlights (what?) and growls as Prowl smirks quite Jewishly at him (apparently, Ironhide can only communicate through growls and other guttural noises.) Just then Sparkplug pulls up in his truck. A metal gasoline drum sits on its bed.
"I got out the emergency fuel from the special storage area," he tells Optimus Prime. "After this is gone, Cybertron headquarters will be completely dry." The Prohibitionists got to them!
"We'll make sure we use every gallon to foil the Destrons," the Cybertron leader declares.
Then he, Prowl, Mirage, and Bumblebee fuel up.
"Sparkplug," Optimus Prime adds, "you've already done so much for us, but somehow you've got to find us a new supply of fuel as soon as possible! Here we go! With luck, we will return with a cure for the Destron poison!"

---

Turn to page 36

The four Cybertrons set off on their missions. They travel west, in the direction of Ramjet's getaway path.
Optimus Prime takes the lead. His huge tractor-trailer wheels cut a path for the smaller cars to follow.
"Whew!" Bumblebee gasps. "This is rough going."
The yellow mini-car trails behind the others. Their route twists through the dense pine trees surrounding Autobot headquarters.
A high mountain looms ahead. Optimus Prime shifts into a lower gear as he begins the climb.
"Follow me!" he roars (my, he does that a lot, don't he?), grinding up the steep incline.
Halfway to the top the four vehicles stop for a rest.
"We've gone a hundred miles," Mirage pants (wait... their robots. Why are they panting? They don't have lungs!) trying to cool his engine. "And no Destrons are in sight!"
The Cybertrons search the countryside around them. They see green fir trees swaying in the wind. Winding rivers rush westward to the Pacific. The rugged terrain seems untouched by civilization. They failed their search check, but apparently succeeded in their scenery setting roll.
"Keep climbing," Optimus Prime orders. "Who knows what's on the other side of this mountain." Smaug. And a Balrog.
At last they reach the peak. Gazing down into the valley below, Bumblebee lets out a low whistle.
"Creepy!" he mutters.

---

What did Bumblebee find that is so creepy? Tune in to the next page of DRAGONFORMER Z! Or, just turn to page 10.

Everything below is scorched and polluted. Pine trees stand like bare, black skeletons. A stream runs with sluggish orange water. Yellow smog blots out the sunlight.
"The Destrons!" Mirage guesses (NO! You think?) "Who else could turn nature into this putrid mess?" Answer: Humans.
"Cut your engines," Optimus Prime orders. "We'll roll down the hill to check it out."
The Cybertrons begin the steep descent. Bumblebee worries about his brakes. He hopes Sparkplug fixed them during his tune-up!
Soon the vehicles reach the valley floor. They take cover behind two towering redwoods. On the other side of the polluted stream they see the entrance to a cave. Yellow smoke curls from cracks at the top. A purple Destron symbol is painted above the entrance. Wow, what a way to hide your secret lab.
"That's what we're looking for," Prowl exclaims."It must be the Destron Poison Lab!" Wonder what clued him onto that.

---

Turn to page 32.

"Transform," Optimus Prime commands. "We've got to get across that stream and investigate that Destron lab--if that's what it is." Um... I'm fairly certain it is, what with the FRIGGIN' DESTRON SYMBOL THAT'S PAINTED ON IT.
The Cybertrons step into the gooey orange water and wade through the sludge.
"Ow-w-w-w!" Bumblebee yells. The acid in the water is biting into his metal feet.
At last the four reach the safety of another huge redwood. The Destron lab stands in front of them, reeking with the smell of poison.
"Now what?" Mirage asks.
The Cybertrons are in a dangerous spot. Should they enter the lab together? After all, there is safety in numbers. Or should Bumblebee, the espionage expert, go in alone? It's your decision!

---

To send in all four, turn to to page 25.
To send in Bumblebee alone and turn this into a commercial to sell his toy, turn to page 39

[Darth Rabbitt]

Let's do as the cover suggests and send in Bumblebee alone.

[SGamerz]

Send Bumblebee because the advert cover told me to.

[Shrapnel]

I apologize for the lack of updates; I've had a Gary Numan song stuck in my head for the past few weeks, which isn't conducive to reading a book.

Things should get back on track sometime tomorrow.

[Shrapnel]

Aaaaand we're back! The reason for the... let's go with delay... was because I was trying to figure out how to scan the pictures in the book and post them here. It was a process that lead only to madness and tears, so I've decided fuck it, I'm just gonna post random images that may or may not be TF related, so there.

THIS is what I think of your insistence that I don't do that. Also, I fucking love this image now and am going to use it whenever possible.

Lessee, we left off at... page 39. Off we go then!

(Cont. in next post)

[Shrapnel]

This is from the book, but fuck if I know from where.

"Me--gulp--go in there alone?" Bumblebee murmurs. "Okay, but I wish I had a gas mask--not for the poison, but for the stench of the Decepticons Destrons!" *laugh track*
The other Autobots Cybertrons wish Bumblebee good luck. Then the brave mini-car sneaks into the cave. His excellent vision immediately adjusts to the dim light. To his horror, he sees a figure leaning against the wall. It's Laserbeak, the cruel Destron interrogator!
Except it's BUZZSAW who's the Decep interrogator! Laserbeak's a spy! And how does a robotic condor lean against a wall?
Bumblebee freezes from this horrendous error. Then, slowly, a grin spreads across his face that he doesn't have according to this book's art. Buzzsaw Laserbeak is asleep! His snore vibrates through the cave like a chain saw . The little Autobot sneaks by the cruel Decepticon, penetrating the depths of the lab .
Bumblebee moves from one dark recess to another (aw, c'mon, I can't keep using the same smiley.) At last he sees rows of beakers bubbling away on blue flames. The espionage expert (see, they got that right!) narrows his optics to read the labels written in a secret Decepticon code.
"Aha!" he whispers as he deciphers one of the labels. "Autobot Poison Antidote!" (Why would the bad guys have that?)

---

Turn to page 23

My computer is about to restart like right now, so I'll have to contin

[Shrapnel]

Y'know, I remember that I was going to use the Japanese names for Autobot and Decepticon, but now I'm too tired to care. Anyway, Takara ultimately switch to using the American names (at around the time the movies came out, if you were interested), so that's my excuse.



Hey! For once, art that actually comes from the same page! Aren't we spoiled! Don't expect this to happen often. (As an aside, that's a pretty smirky skull on that there barrel.)

Bumblebee reaches for the beaker and grabs it. In a flash, he transforms back into his mini-car shape to make a fast getaway. But wait! The snoring has stopped!
A second later the cruel voice of Buzzsaw Laserbeak makes a chill run down Bumblebee's drive shaft (Okay, I'll stop that now).
"*Tie Fighter engine noise* Stop!" the Decepticon commands. "I can taaaaaalllllk! Erm, I mean, I'll shoot!"
The little Autobot hesitates. What should he do?

---

If you want to make a run for it, turn to page 12.
If you think you should do as the deadly Star Wars SFX machine caws, turn to page 68.

Choice time!

[SGamerz]

do as the deadly Star Wars SFX machine caws

[Darth Rabbitt]

Stay. We're not going to outrun the flying laser bird and Star Wars SFX are cool.