5e Monster Manual: Please tell me about the shitty monsters
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- Knight-Baron
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5e Monster Manual: Please tell me about the shitty monsters
I guess the monster book came out today.
We've talked a bit about Pit Fiends and the Tarrasque being really lame and I've btiched incessantly about Storm Giants being unable to break down doors.
Now I would like to hear more about high-level monsters that are stupid and/or boring. And/or retarded. I hope someone will tell me about some of them.
We've talked a bit about Pit Fiends and the Tarrasque being really lame and I've btiched incessantly about Storm Giants being unable to break down doors.
Now I would like to hear more about high-level monsters that are stupid and/or boring. And/or retarded. I hope someone will tell me about some of them.
Oh, then you are an idiot. Because infected slut princess has never posted anything worth reading at any time.
I know that this isn't at all what you're asking for; but ....
some guy did a cover-to-cover - I haven't bothered watching it, mainly because it's way too long for my patience.
Also, Angry DM did a review. He goes in to a couple of rants - as Angry DM is prone to do - and even breaks down some encounter-building math.
Sorry for the early de-rail.
some guy did a cover-to-cover - I haven't bothered watching it, mainly because it's way too long for my patience.
Also, Angry DM did a review. He goes in to a couple of rants - as Angry DM is prone to do - and even breaks down some encounter-building math.
Sorry for the early de-rail.
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- Invincible Overlord
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Ugh, D&D videos? Just shoot me now. I still haven't recovered from MC Killzalot.
Josh Kablack wrote:Your freedom to make rulings up on the fly is in direct conflict with my freedom to interact with an internally consistent narrative. Your freedom to run/play a game without needing to understand a complex rule system is in direct conflict with my freedom to play a character whose abilities and flaws function as I intended within that ruleset. Your freedom to add and change rules in the middle of the game is in direct conflict with my ability to understand that rules system before I decided whether or not to join your game.
In short, your entire post is dismissive of not merely my intelligence, but my agency. And I don't mean agency as a player within one of your games, I mean my agency as a person. You do not want me to be informed when I make the fundamental decisions of deciding whether to join your game or buying your rules system.
- Stinktopus
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Well, I got my Monster Manual today and one of the first things I noticed was that granting wishes is now something that only "a rare few" djinn/efreet are able to do, and any one of them can only grant three wishes to any single individual once. So, somebody decided to get in front of that Candle of Invocation nonsense.
- JigokuBosatsu
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I haven't dipped into it too much, but so far the Legendary/Lair actions seem pretty underwhelming.
The primary disappointment is that they have some serious bullshit races included, and not one single ethergaunt to be seen. Come one, guys. You had one job.
The primary disappointment is that they have some serious bullshit races included, and not one single ethergaunt to be seen. Come one, guys. You had one job.
Omegonthesane wrote:a glass armonica which causes a target city to have horrific nightmares that prevent sleep
JigokuBosatsu wrote:so a regular glass armonica?
I just got mine in the mail. First two things of note. Zac s has no tha ks or contributing credit, and the table of contents has a giant frog eating a dude. Both are plusses.
Im reading it today/tommorow so feel free to ask questions
**i could probably do a things i hate page by page for this book. I am on page 12 so far....
Im reading it today/tommorow so feel free to ask questions
**i could probably do a things i hate page by page for this book. I am on page 12 so far....
Last edited by Krusk on Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
The lich... my personal make-or-break monster regarding d&d mystique because I damn love me some immortality as goal for my wizards.
Yes, there's still a way for PCs to do it.
Fuck you, the method is called SUCK DM COCK.
Liches used to stand for autonomy incarnate, the triumph of the arcane paradigm and luciferan philosophy: Becoming your own god. Now they're just pawns of the lower planes.
Yes, there's still a way for PCs to do it.
Fuck you, the method is called SUCK DM COCK.
Also, seems the ritual is now weaksauce and you need to feed your phylactery a box of kittens a day in order not to rot away.Monster Manual wrote:Wizards that seek lichdom must make bargains with fiends, evil gods, or other foul entities. Many turn to Orcus, Demon Prince of Undeath, whose power has created countless liches. However,
those that control the power of lichdom always demand fealty and service for their knowledge.
Liches used to stand for autonomy incarnate, the triumph of the arcane paradigm and luciferan philosophy: Becoming your own god. Now they're just pawns of the lower planes.
Last edited by Dogbert on Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:08 am, edited 3 times in total.
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- Duke
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CapnTthePirateG wrote:Can you go into more detail?
There. No more Baelnorms for you.Monster Manual wrote:A lich must periodically feed souls to its phylactery to sustain the magic preserving its body and consciousness. It does this using the imprisonment spell. Instead of choosing one of the normal options of the spell, the lich uses the spell to magically trap the target's body and soul inside its phylactery. The phylactery must be on the same plane as the lich for the spell to work. A lich's phylactery can hold only
one creature at a time, and a dispel magic cast as a 9th-level spell upon the phylactery releases any creature imprisoned within it. A creature imprisoned in the phylactery for 24 hours is consumed and destroyed utterly, whereupon nothing short of divine intervention can restore it to life.
A lich that fails or forgets to maintain its body with sacrificed souls begins to physically fall apart, and might eventually become a demilich.
- Foxwarrior
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I am seriously unimpressed. The balor has NO spell-like abilities and no ranged attack options. It can seriously get kited to death. Many of the outsiders are now just melee brutes. It's seriously boring. The lack of spell-like abilities overall kind of bugs me. When I make monsters, I like to give them spell-likes not just for versitility in combat, but for them to have more of an effect outside of combat as well. It just makes them feel more like they're powerful and it's also just plain more interesting.
Also, most of the art is lame.
Also, most of the art is lame.
Keys to the Contract: A crossover between Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Kingdom Hearts.
RadiantPhoenix wrote:The D&D wizard is a work of fiction that has a completely unrealistic expectation of "uses a book".TheFlatline wrote:Legolas/Robin Hood are myths that have completely unrealistic expectation of "uses a bow".
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- hamstertamer
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That's just the current mindset of the "Grognard and their kids" crowd. They want to change D&D into what they falsely claim it was when they were kids. D&D was originally just a Fantasy/medieval Miniatures Wargame, and not an RPG. The role-playing followed naturally, and playing without miniatures and movement squares, as in "theater of mind," was because certain groups couldn't afford miniatures and developed a different style, then it became their preferred style, which lead them to believe it was the one-true-way all this time.Night Goat wrote:Now we get to see the mental gymnastics the 5mind goes through to rationalize how shitty all these monsters are. When I showed them the Pit Fiend, they said it was great that they don't have interesting abilities because 3e Pit Fiends took a long time to fight.
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- Knight
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Or maybe instead of dragging up this tired and pointless aside you could just accept that 4th Ed was too gamist for many people and this is an over reaction. The game suffers from the removal of game language, but I see no reason to mention a very dead system with the goal of insulting people for saying 4th ed didn't feel like D&D.hamstertamer wrote:That's just the current mindset of the "Grognard and their kids" crowd. They want to change D&D into what they falsely claim it was when they were kids. D&D was originally just a Fantasy/medieval Miniatures Wargame, and not an RPG. The role-playing followed naturally, and playing without miniatures and movement squares, as in "theater of mind," was because certain groups couldn't afford miniatures and developed a different style, then it became their preferred style, which lead them to believe it was the one-true-way all this time.Night Goat wrote:Now we get to see the mental gymnastics the 5mind goes through to rationalize how shitty all these monsters are. When I showed them the Pit Fiend, they said it was great that they don't have interesting abilities because 3e Pit Fiends took a long time to fight.
I don't understand why people feel the need to bring up chainmail and Gygax's intentions, it has no bearing on modern design and most of the stated goals and mechanics are a list of "don't"s.
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- Prince
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You can probably blame Gygax for that one, he was all over player disempowerment.Sakuya Izayoi wrote:OD&D had some weird design choices if it was supposed to be a wargame... like the Tomb of Horror's emphasis on DM telepathy, monsters that eat your brain if you put your ear against a door, etc. Seems like Pit Fiends and Red Dragons with interesting narrative abilities fit right in.
Kaelik wrote:Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
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- nockermensch
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This just in, fresh from the GitP forum: The Tarrasque is still totally an epic monster because it can make improvised ranged attacks if you try to kite it.
@ @ Nockermensch
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Mord wrote:Chromatic Wolves are massively under-CRed. Its "Dood to stone" spell-like is a TPK waiting to happen if you run into it before anyone in the party has Dance of Sack or Shield of Farts.
That thread makes me laugh/cry/both.nockermensch wrote:This just in, fresh from the GitP forum: The Tarrasque is still totally an epic monster because it can make improvised ranged attacks if you try to kite it.
Out beyond the hull, mucoid strings of non-baryonic matter streamed past like Christ's blood in the firmament.
- hamstertamer
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Since I'm one of the people that has said "4th Ed was too gamist" and "4th ed didn't feel like D&D" that must mean I was insulting myself, or maybe I wasn't insulting anybody, or maybe you don't know what your talking about.Scrivener wrote:Or maybe instead of dragging up this tired and pointless aside you could just accept that 4th Ed was too gamist for many people and this is an over reaction. The game suffers from the removal of game language, but I see no reason to mention a very dead system with the goal of insulting people for saying 4th ed didn't feel like D&D.hamstertamer wrote:That's just the current mindset of the "Grognard and their kids" crowd. They want to change D&D into what they falsely claim it was when they were kids. D&D was originally just a Fantasy/medieval Miniatures Wargame, and not an RPG. The role-playing followed naturally, and playing without miniatures and movement squares, as in "theater of mind," was because certain groups couldn't afford miniatures and developed a different style, then it became their preferred style, which lead them to believe it was the one-true-way all this time.Night Goat wrote:Now we get to see the mental gymnastics the 5mind goes through to rationalize how shitty all these monsters are. When I showed them the Pit Fiend, they said it was great that they don't have interesting abilities because 3e Pit Fiends took a long time to fight.
I don't understand why people feel the need to bring up chainmail and Gygax's intentions, it has no bearing on modern design and most of the stated goals and mechanics are a list of "don't"s.
- hamstertamer
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What's even weirder, is that G.G. promoted the idea that players use miniatures in AD&D. He even wrote the spell descriptions in inches instead of feet/yards/meters.Sakuya Izayoi wrote:OD&D had some weird design choices if it was supposed to be a wargame... like the Tomb of Horror's emphasis on DM telepathy, monsters that eat your brain if you put your ear against a door, etc. Seems like Pit Fiends and Red Dragons with interesting narrative abilities fit right in.
Update: Lizardfolk are the new master race among monsters. The lowliest lizardfolk mook (CR 1/2) has 22 HP and AC 15. How come they're not d&d land's lords and masters is a mystery.
Last edited by Dogbert on Sat Oct 04, 2014 3:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Stinktopus
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