The Kobold Rapper

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Essence
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Posts: 525
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:54 pm
Location: Olympia, WA

The Kobold Rapper

Post by Essence »

I posted this over on Nifty as a contest entry, and I thought that Frank should get the chance to see it, as it's totally in homage to him.


* * * *

The Kobold Rapper


“Unh!” the little reptilian bastard shouted emphatically.
“What? What?” he continued.
“Unh! I said unh! UNH!” he proceeded apace.
Looking around at the wild-eyed crowd, he decided to go straight for the gold.
“When I say ‘What?’, you say ‘the hell do you think you’re looking at?’. WHAT?”

The total lack of response triggered a complete meltdown of the short lizardine creature’s ego. He slumped to the floor, and allowed the badgers to proceed about their business. Obviously this kind of joint wasn’t his schtick. He’d try again with the monitor lizards tomorrow. They seemed to respect him more.



The Kobolds haven’t come up with anything really, really new in a long time. Or so it seems to the casual observer. They’re the same scaly, trap-mongering hordes they’ve always been. Until last week. Last week, after his utter humiliation at the hands of a strange new kind of Gnomish “music”, Grafi Klearikks vowed to avenge his defeat.

Everyone knows Kobolds can’t sing. But with this new invention, they wouldn’t have to. Any attempt at tune or harmony was replaced by hostile, sexist rhymes and genitalia references; the basic rhythmic pulse of hate formed the only backdrop for Grafi’s new work.

The badgers didn’t give him any respect, but they were rockers, already tainted by the new Gnomish screeching. The lizards, however – they understood. Bitch-ass badgers. He’d cap them all. Even if he had to have the lizard’s help to do it.

Once he figured out what ‘capping’ meant.


Prerequisites:
  • Kobold
  • Perform: 8 ranks
  • Intimidate: 4 ranks
  • Listen: 4 ranks
  • Leadership
  • Must have a natural claw attack.
  • Must know Performance styles of Oratory and Drums


Hit Die: d6
BAB: Middle
Proficiencies: Rappers gain proficiency with the repeating hand crossbow.
Saves: Fort high, Reflex high, Will low
Skills: 4+Int (Skill List as Bard)
Spellcasting: +1 Caster Level per Level. Gains spells as Bard if no pre-existing spellcasting class.

Table: The Kobold Rapper

Code: Select all

[br]1)  Speak with Reptiles, Hardcore Domain, Bardic Music, Gotta Get Rep[br]2) Coldblooded[br]3) Dissin’[br]4) Beta Busta Kappa[br]5) Word in the Streets[br]6) I Been Shot Eighteen Times; War of Words[br]7) Dirrty South[br]8) Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy; Scratchin’ and Mixin’ [br]9) Word to Your Mother; Master of the Dozens[br]10) A Gangsta’s Life Ain’t Fun; I Invented the Remix[br]


Speak with Reptiles (Ex): Kobold Rappers have an intuitive connection with reptiles. Reptiles can understand and communicate with them fluently.

Hardcore Domain (Ex): Rappers immediately gain access to the Hardcore Domain.

Hardcore Domain: Special: Those with access to the Hardcore Domain gain a +10’ bonus to the range of all of their Bardic Music attempts.
1: Divine Favor
2: Shatter
3: Shout
4: Divine Power
5: Project Greatness (see below)
6: Great Shout
7: Dictum (or other alignment-relevant variant)
8: Order’s Shield (or other alignment-relevant variant)
9: Implosion


Bardic Music (Su): Kobold Rappers gain access to Bardic Music as a Bard of their level, and Rapper levels stack with Bard levels for determine the usage of Bardic Music.

Gotta Get Rep (Ex): Rappers have an unquenchable inner drive to be heard. As such, they cannot use the Silent Spell metamagic feat on any of their spells.

Coldblooded (Su): From 2nd level onward, a Kobold Rapper develops a strange fanbase – a scaly one. The Kobold Rapper can use Diplomacy on lizards as though they were Kobolds, and gains a Monitor Lizard as a sacred mount (following all of the rules for Sacred Mounts laid out in the Paladin core class).

Dissin’ (Su) A Kobold Rapper of 3rd level or higher can use one of his bardic music performances to disrespect somebody brutally. By dissing on a target with his music in way which is both infuriating and amusing, all creatures who hear his performance must make a will save (DC is the Kobold Rapper's perform skill result) or have their attitude towards the victim shifted one level towards the negative (See DMG page 149, NPC Attitudes). Furthermore, all affected creatures gain a +2 morale bonus on all opposed social interaction checks against the target.
The target can be a person, group, or race, but the Kobold Rapper gets a +2 profanity bonus when insulting Gnomes or Rockers, and a +4 profanity bonus when insulting Rock Gnomes. The effects of Dissin’ last for 24 hours per character level of the Kobold Rapper. Dissin’ is a language dependent, mind-affecting ability.

Beta Busta Kappa (Ex): From 4th level onward, the Kobold Rapper can use one of his bardic music performances while attacking with a repeating hand crossbow in order to automatically confirm any critical threats that he makes as part of an attack or full attack action.

Word in the Streets (Ex): At 5th level, the word is starting to get out about this budding Rap star. The Kobold Rapper gains a +2 fame bonus to his social interactions with lizards. In addition, the Rapper gains his class level to his Leadership Score and gains Great Prestige – but any additional followers this grants him must all be lizards. Finally, the Rapper has the Epic Leadership feat but only as regards lizard followers.

I Been Shot Eighteen Times (Ex): A 6th level Kobold Rapper is mad hardcore, and doesn’t take any crap from anyone. The Rapper is considered Huge for the purposes of resisting Bull Rushes, Trips, and Overrun attempts.

War of Words (Ex): Anyone Dissed by a 6th level Kobold Rapper knows it. The effects of Dissin’ are doubled (2 attitude levels, +4 on social interaction tests; +4 vs. Gnomes and Rockers; +8 vs. Rock Gnomes.)

Dirrty South (Ex): A 7th level Kobold Rapper discovers that suddenly, his fame has spread to a place that’s normally known only for blues and country music. Or rather, to a place that’s highly unexpected. The DM chooses a new group of creatures that are also fans of the Kobold Rapper – and he can apply all of his bonuses that apply to lizards to the new group. The new group of fans need not be animals.

Pimpin Ain’t Easy (Ex): From 8th level onward, a Kobold Rapper can get almost anything he needs with a shouted command and a catchphrase. “Get me my rapier, ho! It’s the one that says Badass Mother on it!” The Kobold Rapper gains a bonus to all Diplomacy and Intimidate checks vs. members of his fanbase equal to his class level.

Scratchin’ and Mixin’ (Ex): An 8th level Kobold Rapper gains an additional partial action each turn that can only be used to make a single claw attack against a target of any spell cast or bardic performance attempted earlier that turn. If the spell or performance was successful, this attack is made against the target’s Touch AC.

Word to your Mother (Ex): “…She ain’t gonna have a son no more.” A Kobold Rapper of 9th level or greater who uses his Beta Busta Kappa ability automatically threatens (and, through Beta Busta Kappa, automatically confirms those threats) against any target previously affected by his Dissin’ ability.

Master of the Dozens (Ex): “You wanna play the dozens, well the dozens is a game – but what I do to yo’ mamma’s a low down shame.” Mastery of the Dozens makes a 9th level Kobold Rapper’s Dissin’ even more effecting, increasing it’s effect to 3 attitude levels, +6 on interactions, and +6/+6/+12 vs. Gnomes, Rockers, and Rock Gnomes, respectively.

A Gangsta’s Life Ain’t Fun (Ex): But it certainly has an unmistakable allure. At 10th level, the DM chooses a second new group of creatures that are also fans of the Kobold Rapper – and he can apply all of his bonuses that apply to lizards to the new group. The new group of fans need not be animals.

I Invented the Remix (Su): A Kobold Rapper of 10th level gains an additional partial action each turn that can only be used to cast a single spell or activate a single bardic music performance against a single creature successfully damaged as part of a claw attack or claw full attack earlier in the round.


Project Greatness (modified)
Illusion
Level: Cool 5, Hardcore 5
Components: (see text)
Casing Time: 1 action (see text)
Range: 50 feet.
Area: All allied animals within 50 feet.
Duration: See Text.
Saving Throw: No.
Spell Resistance: No.

Project Greatness must be cast while starting an Inspire Greatness Bardic Performance. The Performance affects all allied animals instead of the normal targets for the Inspire Greatness performance.


Thanks to Frank Trollman for the inspiration. :)

Catharz
Knight-Baron
Posts: 893
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:54 pm

Re: The Kobold Rapper

Post by Catharz »

Both of those are truely wonderful. Thank you.
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