How to date like a nerd

...You Lost Me · Post by **...You Lost Me** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:21 pm

Get some people together, and play Munchkin with her as a team.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:57 pm

Ubernoob: I'm kinda afraid to ask what are player moves. After the last time, you described some of the denners as being Gangster-like, I'm kinda scared of the perspective that informs you of "player moves"

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:58 pm

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:10 am

Maybe you should stop using pickup lines!

Molochio · Post by **Molochio** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:48 am

I can run you and the girl through a D&D adventure, if you like. Just swing by my place when schedules are compatible. My games are never dull.
It's free, she'll get her needed doses of nerd fetishdom, and the Tome barbarian is a fine class for someone who has never played.

Agreeable?

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:21 am

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:26 pm

So your alpha male tendencies are that you're a walking pick-up line? I always pictured "alpha male" to mean something like making all the other guys in the group follow your lead.

Post by **fbmf** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 3:55 pm

So did I. As a former bartender, I can attest that "walking pick up lines" were called "womanizers", "players", or, if succesful in their picking up, "man whores".

They were never called Alpha-Males.

Arlington, TX or Arlington, VA?

Game On,
fbmf

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:02 pm

Texas, I'm assuming, since that's where he's from.

Molochio · Post by **Molochio** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 7:39 pm

Correct assumption. Texas.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:32 pm

Man, the next time I'm by Dallas, we need to get a meeting of the Denners. I can't believe I lived so close to all of you people and never did anything. Hell, I lived in Irving for a year and then Denton for two.

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:54 pm

Being an alpha male is like being a lady--if you are one, you don't need to insist upon it being so.

Post by **fbmf** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:02 am

Cynic wrote:Man, the next time I'm by Dallas, we need to get a meeting of the Denners. I can't believe I lived so close to all of you people and never did anything. Hell, I lived in Irving for a year and then Denton for two.

I live in the area if you guys ever decide to get together.

Game On,
fbmf

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:32 am

Psychic Robot wrote:Being an alpha male is like being a lady--if you are one, you don't need to insist upon it being so.

Agreed. Unfortunately, when you get used to having people just do whatever you say, you get in the habit of just telling people what to do instead of asking.

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:39 am

Ubernoob, your language is jargonized to the point where you can't communicate.

You seem to be saying that "nerd" and "alpha male" are two points on a continuum that can't coincide. You also seem to be associating the concepts with marginalia that don't seem all that connected.

"Alpha Male" could plausibly mean

--Someone with the respect of a large group of other men. Not that this is no way incompatible with nerd-dom. Nerds form groups of nerd-men with Alpha Nerds, and I would imagine if this girl is a nerd herself, that being the alpha nerd would be an advantage.

--Someone who has the dark triad. (narcissism, sociopathy, machiavellianism) The thing about the dark triad is that it makes people want to get to know and want to have sex with you. it doesn't make them want to stay in touch with you or be your friend. So, while emulating the dark triad might be a viable strategy for getting someone interested, you've clearly already done that. Since she is already interested in you, you have nothing to gain by acting like a sociopath.

--Someone aggressive/controlling, and perhaps sexist. This is also not the opposite of "nerd", since nerds *often* act this way. So it's more "dating like a decent person" than "dating like a nerd."

-------

Meanwhile, "nerd" might mean

--someone intellectual & gifted in the sciences. Obviously, some alpha males are in the sciences.

--someone obsessed with media fandom and internet culture. This can easily overlap with alpha status as well.

--someone with bad social skills, especially in the self-assertion/expression area. If this is you, you're not an alpha male. This is till not a good place to be.

----

TLDR: Being a nerd is not incompatible with being an alpha, except in one sense of "nerd" which you DON'T want to be. Being an alpha is not necessarily bad, and even if the girl used those words, you should carefully consider what SHE meant by them.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 9:02 am

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:51 pm

I think the point Orion is trying to make is that he's still not clear on what it is you want to not do in front of her and what it is you do want to do. You're asking for date ideas, but the context of those ideas is still confusing.

Psychic Robot · Post by **Psychic Robot** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:23 pm

ubernoob wrote:Unfortunately, when you get used to having people just do whatever you say, you get in the habit of just telling people what to do instead of asking.

You are not an evil mastermind. You are not going to conquer the world. You are not a chessmaster. Get your ego in check and the rest will follow.

Molochio · Post by **Molochio** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:13 pm

Psychic Robot wrote:
ubernoob wrote:Unfortunately, when you get used to having people just do whatever you say, you get in the habit of just telling people what to do instead of asking.
You are not an evil mastermind. You are not going to conquer the world. You are not a chessmaster. Get your ego in check and the rest will follow.

This deviation into the consideration of Uber's possible flaws and or ego based short comings is irrelevant, as clearly the girl is attracted to him regardless of them.
Let us then remain on course with ideas on how to better entertain her since she is so enamored, yes?

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:05 pm

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:38 pm

Simple enough. Although I don't have much to add to what others have already said, given that. I do agree that D&D probably isn't a good idea at this point, but IIRC, you've already agreed to that.

Do you play Dominion (the card game)? I've found that one to be fairly addicting and fun. Pretty much anyone I've played with has gotten hooked on the game. Although, being married already, I don't know how well it works for dates. I can just tell you it's mostly what my wife and I have played for the past year.

Molochio · Post by **Molochio** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 7:56 pm

Cards games... I had forgotten about that.
Magic the Gathering might fit the nerd criteria as well.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:06 pm

Magic is kind of sucky unless she already plays. If not, you have to get her up to speed and she has to use decks you created. Most of what I like about Magic is in making the decks. This is probably why I like Dominion so much.

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:55 pm

hello

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:52 pm

You want card games that aren't timesinks or time management based.

Stuff like munchkin kinda borders this but because of its' self-referential parody, it works out in the favor of playable. M:TG while interesting is too much of a time sink. I mean you have to familarize yourself with decks and cards.

Cheapass games are nice and are very...well...cheap. A quick trip to the comic store and card game perusal will give you great options.

Fluxx and any of the additions are good.

Aquarius is actually hippyish and kinda girl-based. My daughter loves it and it is a little simplistic but both me and my wife like it.

Icehouse, I've heard, is a lot of fun and simple.

If you are confident in her ability to handle "higher-level" nerd stuff. Run a simple one-shot with her. But again, that's really on the higher-end of nerdiness.

But board games are an another easy entry

While I'm not fond of them, Monopoly, parcheesi etc... work well because they are already known and don't need a tutorial precursor.

But if you do feel inclined to try something, go for Settlers of Catan, or Carcassone. But go rules-light and keep it fun.

Games like Arkham horror are really on the top level of nerd-dom. They are seriously time-intensive and require some resource management skills.

Also, video games. If she likes FPSes, an x-bos and halo works well.

When I was in high school, I used to use DDR, mario cart, and Mario party as games for non-nerd girls. Today, the wii serves the same purpose.

Earlier, I suggested larp but near the DFW side, I remember that a lot of larpers were very hardcore.

Scarby or other ren fests should be starting soon. This is another great thing to look at.

SCA events are another great thing to take her to.

If you want to spend a little money on an actual date, take her to Medieval times. That's fun, includes liquor and food, and possibly bedroom action later on.