CAG: Console: Handheld RPG Review

[Leress]

Console: Handheld or How to make broken pocket games and bad parody

http://www.rpgnow.com/product_info.php? ... 0_0&free=1

Yeah it's been a while since I did one of these reviews. What can I say haven't had a lot time to do any roleplaying.


Background

http://www.rpg-awards.com/2002/freerpg.shtml

In 2002 Valent Games made a parody game called console it made the runner up award for best free indie game. It must have been a slow year. This game takes the conventions of console rpgs and make a game out them. It was so good that they made a full fledged sequel "Super Console" for sale at $10.

Layout (someone failed origami)

Now this is just bad. First being two pages it doesn't really leave a lot of room for rules, but it can be done. This makes it even worse by having the game printed in such a way that it suppose to be folded to fit in your pocket, but there is no way that is happening since half the pages are a different size than others. There is also some art in the form of spirits from video game which just look like they were stolen from RPG Maker 2000. The first page is a small intro with the table of contents. The font is very legible.


Classes and Attributes (All the fun is here, Final Fantasy Legend parody har har)

There are 4 classes to choose from: Humans, Espers, Monsters, and Robots. There are four attributes as well Atk, Def, Mag, Spd. When you choose a class you get your base attributes and these get adjusted by your level and equipment.

Humans: They have no adjustments to attributes, but gain access to all spells (if they buy them), can use any bit of equipment. They also have 8 item slots (spells take a slot)

Esper: They get a -5 to ATK and DEF, but a +10 to MAG and +5 SPD. They also get two random spells that change at each level up. These don't take up slots. Oh, they also only get 4 item slots and can't use shields. They also can't buy spells.

Monsters: These are guys are just pretty awesome or just okay. First they get +45 to ATK, +5 DEF, -10 MAG, +10 SPD that would pretty much make the bruiser. Then they get this ability that after each fight they can get the stats of any creature (if it isn't a boss type) in the battle and have them until the next one or they can just keep them. Now the problem with this ability comes in the wording since the term attribute and stat are used interchangeably this can lead to your monster being a royal bad-ass or a pile of suck, but more often just pretty good. They can only have armor and only may have 4 items.

Robots: They get +5 ATK, +10 DEF, -10 MAG, -5 SPD. They also cannot equip anything (unless it is GM approved tinkets), and only 4 item slots. They also come with two attacks a punch (+40 ATK) and laser (+35 ATK) (which deals fire damage) They also have a force field that gives them +15 DEF. With this class you are pretty much in the front taking a beating. There is a problem since it doesn't say that Laser is a ranged weapon or not. They are also weak to lighting...what does that mean? It doesn't say.

The way that attributes are done it makes spd not that important unless you are a monster. Your DEF score is used to reduce magic and weapon damage. There is no way to increase your speed unless you get a GM approved item. Since your level is added to every attribute the numbers are nearly always the same. The Esper may look like they should be the mages but their DEF stat suck and would can be nearly one-shotted by enemy mages and that is with them in the back row with a bow. They also get two random spells, so these can never be relied upon.

Each character get 100 HP and 100 MP and for some reason they put these in percentages even though nearly everything that interacts with are in points.


Weapons, Spells and Wealth (Your balanced party sucks)

There are very few items to choose from in this and really your best bet is to just get a bow and sit in the back row. This applies to humans, robots, and espers. Since being in the back row give the character +10 DEF. Monster are stuck in the front. Weapons cost LV+ATK-35 in gold with armor costing LV+DEF.

There are 10 different spells FIRE, ICE, and LIT are your flavored damage spells with their damage equal to MAG+50. BIO poisons at target and they lose 20% of their HP per round with no duration. CURE and CURA restore 30% and 100% of HP, but you really only need to have cure. LIFE brings back a character with what HP total I don't know. HOLY insta-kills one undead. DARK give the target a 50% chance to miss with its attacks and has no duration. Yes DARK is an awesome spell. Due to the way that spells are done humans are better with magic than espers. The +10 to MAG doesn't mean shit with the damage in the long run. Humans can just get cure, life, dark, and bio and tells everyone else to fuck off. Now it does cost them a item slot per spell and cost the human's level in gold. So there is no real reason to have an esper in your party. With the layout of the spells you are most likely are going to get cure and life. Spells use the percentages for MP consumption. For the damage and healing spells you can cast it on a group for half value. Why would you do that? I don't know.

Now on to your wealth. After a fight you gain a level, also your equipment degrades by one point so you ass kick down the scale as you level. You do gain gold after the fight. 3x LV of the monster they fought. It's not really clear if it is total level of the monsters or just one or even one with the highest level. Since you will gain a level regards of the formation unless it is a boss, you still get a boost. This pretty much encourages "grinding" and the worst part is when it comes to battle since this is pretty much a diceless game (save for a couple of things)
At least staying in an inn is cheap.

Combat (A slime draws near. Command?)

You have 4 options attack, spell, defend (+15 DEF), or run. There is no chance to miss unless DARK is in play. It pretty boring since everything is on autopilot. There is no scaling for monsters or what counts as a level appropriate battle.

Monsters ( Magus say choke on these nuts)

Monsters are created with base stats and are adjusted by what template you add to them. They also get to add their level to all attributes. They don't have equipment though (they don't need it). There is probably an assumption that there are no rows for enemies and can hit people in the back row even though they are using melee attacks.

Base: +45 ATK, +10 DEF, +50 MAG, +0 SPD

Beast: minor boost to SPD and ATK (+5)- okay
Dragon: Immune to fire... that's it - suck
Elemental: Immune to one kind of magic - suck
Ogre: +5 DEF but -15 DEF if it's a magical attack - okay
Undead: Immune to BIO and DARK - okay since Holy is around

Now these last two are just broken by themselves but combined there is no point of playing the game anymore

Mage: Can cast two spells and +10 MAG - What the fuck? A level 1 Mage casting ICE will deal 111 base Damage and this will nearly kill level 1 character in the front (Esper will die).

Boss: Worth 2 levels, Immune to DARK, HOLY, and BIO. Takes 1/10 damage and often they have another type. - So now all your characters will be doing very minor damage. While the boss gets full strength. Of course if you add the Mage template you can just tell the whole group to just go home. Also don't give a boss a helper. It doesn't even matter if the boss goes last they get to say fuck you each round.

They also say that after a boss fight there should be a special item found. These are pretty much were the group can make a new special item for a character. It suggests something like 50% counter-attack rate or a percentage resistance. This is easy to break but really at this point no one wants to play anymore.

Advice (Not funny)
There page dedicated to advice the first being that customization is key. The problem is that the base is bad. The rest of the advice is just a couple of jokes and common advice

Overall: There isn't any real reason to play this since you really have no control of anything and you are better of just playing a board game. This probably has more words than the actual game, but since it's not really that good I don't really care.

[RandomCasualty2]

So basically it's based off Final Fantasy Legend for Gameboy.

[DeadlyReed]

If you can, please review Console (which used to be free) and Super Console!

[Leress]

If you can, please review Console (which used to be free) and Super Console!

Well from what I've seen from Console: Hand held, I don't even want to spend a dollar on each of the products. You would think after 6-7 years they would just make them free.

So basically it's based off Final Fantasy Legend for Gameboy.

Yes, pretty much so. It's like they didn't even play any other portable RPGs.