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Lunar Exalted gets his own Appreciation Thread

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:21 pm    Post subject: Lunar Exalted gets his own Appreciation Thread Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

My posts from a PbP Exalted game, as entered into the game's Hall of Awesomeness by its different GMs. The character is Irreverent Tyrannicide, a Tyrant Lizard Full Moon because what the fuck else would I play?

Tyrannicide had gotten back a few hours before dawn and managed to sneak in a nap. He slept in the snow with little care for warmth or comfort, merely sticking an arm under his head as a pillow.

It was enough to feel refreshed, and when he woke up the only thing still bothering him was the fact that he'd just Hunted a goose. It wasn't that it was impractical - the fatigue of his compatriots was lesson enough as to its usefulness - but it had been a bit of a mental hurdle for him to accept that he should Hunt something so defenseless and innocuous as a goose.

He had taken the form of a gravehound for the trip and busied himself by imprinting the smells of the trail, should he need to find it again. Irreverent Tyrannicide fell into lockstep with the others as they trudged to the cave; his curiosity was piqued as much as anyone's and his thoughts were mostly about the cave. The idea of seeking their soul-mates was mildly terrifying and he was thankful for the distraction.

Silent Gin provided another distraction with her gentle interest.

"Is something bothering me? I've given up big hunk of my decency in exchange for the ability to kill or have a decent chance at killing most anything in Creation. I'm a walking hard-on for Tachi-Kun. My life and forms are testaments to service and honor and duty above personal desire - there is glory to be had of course, but it never is without terrible risk, not against what I should be facing... glory is the only thing it really offers. And I travel with beautiful people, comrades who appear to have sacrificed very little and risk very little, whose roles appear to be acquiring the adoration of mortals and the wearing of pretty magical clothes. It's... unsettling."

Despite assumptions to the contrary, Irreverent Tyrannicide wasn't the least bit tired. He had actually kept up his banter throughout most of the flight, gleefully engaging his fellows in games of "I Spy With My Little Eye" (the answer was generally, "more fucking snow"), rounds of his favorite songs and exhortations for the chorus to "join in", and a brief dissertation on the nature of Lunar duty to Creation with respect to the forces of the Wyld and how that tension could never be defeated, only managed, and what that meant for them as a society practically and metaphorically.

He was congenial and his simple joy played between mildly annoying and genuinely endearing.

The vision of Veroc caught all that in mid-sentence and actually shut him up. The scorched earth and mounds of corpses were appalling and it seemed like there was nothing to say. Almost.

"So, see any Solars? No? We can go then. What a wasted trip. Which way to Nexus again?"

Irreverent Tyrannicide turned north in a wide arc before coming back around again in a tight circle.

"Yeah, yeah..."

He brought them all in low. He wanted to do an immediate flyover of the city but was pretty sure that the odds they would all unanimously agree to that (or anything else) was roughly the same chances that the whole of the Jet Court would invite him over for a jolly, fun-time sleepover and then ask him to fuck Princess Kyema in the ass with a Jade Obelisk.

The landing was gentle out of respect for his load and Irreverent Tyrannicide transformed first to an Essence Spider to help disentangle himself from the harness while keeping it intact, before transforming into his war form, a smoldering anthropomorphized Tyrant Lizard made of magma and crystal.

"How long ago did Fate take a shit on this place, you figure?"

Irreverent Tyrannicide smiled a toothy predator's smile and helped himself to whatever clothes, weapons, jewels and even piercings his captive had, consciously showing concern for his captive.

"You know, I was pretty concerned there for a little bit. The whole oogity-boogity of that martial art was a little distressing, and the fact that every time you got hurt you'd get stronger - that was moreso. And when I couldn't just skewer you? A BIG surprise, one that I have to talk to a guy about. But just being able to hold you here and take our time? That's totally unexpected. Did you really think we'd just line up and take shots and then hang our heads like puppies in the rain? You must've been real damn sure of whatever spooky shit you've got to walk up to me of all things with that much confidence."

He choughed a little.

"Pardon, I uh... yeah. You'll get the idea."

Tyrannicide shrugged and with a little bit of annoyance slid a claw into her orifices, poking around for hidden weapons.

"This is so twisted, lady. Seriously. I have to do this because you're nuts, you realize that? I mean, whatever happened to amazingly light-but-strong armor and being blazingly fast with a poisoned rapier and main-gauche? No, it's gotta be crazy bitches with magical pussies and their nipple-rings of power and mind-controlling whips. Seriously. What's wrong with mastering a bow once in a while?"

He looked her over again, rolling her around to make sure he hadn't missed anything.

"And don't tell us if you're getting off on this, because no one cares."

Irreverent Tyrannicide was just about to try and slap the back of Red Tornado's head until her eyes popped out when: ash. No more sorceress. Poof, gone.

"Well, that was unexpected."

He was about to opine further, perhaps with an astounding witticism or maybe with something substantial, but the wandering Lunar they'd just met - here, in the Shadowlands, far away from anything or so he thought - ate some of the ash. The act robbed Irreverent Tyrannicide with anything more than an internal echo of his previous statement, as if his brain was simply locked into place.

A moment passed, he assessed the ingestion, and shook his head. It was a strange world.

"Right on. At least we still have her shit."

He waggled the skimpy outfit she'd been wearing - a little too small for the likes of Tyrannicide - and the amulet and hearthstone.

"How much you want to bet the hearthstone gains sentience and tries to crawl up someone's ass tonight? Any takers? Eh. Whatever. I'm cool with sleeping around here. I hear the dead make a killer breakfast special."

Irreverent Tyrannicide put his arms out and placed a hand between both Broken Shackles and Cinnamon Starlight... though he honestly would have been a little more concerned for Cinnamon's health and welfare if he didn't think her name was Viper.

"Two things. First, go in as your fucking war form. Be ready for shit to pop out of your fucking trousers and strangle you from the darkness."

"Second, let's all just relax. Hey, it's cool. She's not following us. She just happens to be here in the asshole side of Creation and just happens to be going the same way into the same impossible place for reasons that can't be proven and haven't really been explained in depth and that's totally none of our business and can't we just accept that no one's the boss of her, and you're totally not her fucking real mom anyway and she can stay up as late as she wants."

Irreverent Tyrannicide can't contain his laughter as he walks into the Labyrinth.

"Later, dong-benders."

Irreverent Tyrannicide nodded appreciatively as they proceeded through the Labyrinth.

"Shit, look at that! This place is fucking nuts."

He pointed and 'oohed' and 'aahed' at the various totally crazy things he was seeing.

"This place is like the Wyld, but with less dicks. Seriously. This wall here?"

Irreverent Tyrannicide dug a talon into an eyeball and popped it out, looked at it for a second and started giggling, then started popping out eyes and anointing his claws with them. When he finished he turned around to Broken Shackles and wiggled the shishkabobed eyeballs at him; Irreverent Tyrannicide was laughing now, totally consumed with his own humor.

"Totally would have been a wall of cock. Or snatches. Whatever. Not eyes. Then it would turn into a fruit that looked like a cock but wasn't, and then back into cock. You know how it is. At least with this place it pretty much looks like its whatever it is, just with a varying amount of eyeballs."

He kept wiggling his hands throughout his statement when he paused for a moment and put his hands down to check on his companions. His self-confidence and nonchalance were honed things; they were the products of his training and readiness to confront the behemoths of lost ages. He wasn't sure his mates were up to the same level of comfort with the strangeness of the place and so when the small part of him that cared about others chimed its rare chimes, he listened to it.

"Uh... are we all cool with this? I mean this place, not the whole eye-on-a-stick thing."

"Holy fuck. Glittering Raiton, did you just come out of your shell? Did I just hear you fucking let loose some shit right there?"

Irreverent Tyrannicide was smiling. His mouth was about a foot wide and filled with moonsilver fangs so it was not really what you'd call a traditional smile, but it was identifiably still a smile.

"Who else is enjoying themselves. Show of hands. C'mon, don't be shy. How you doin', new girl. You cool? This shit is the best. This? Right here? These are the tender moments."

Irreverent Tyrannicide was holding up his right hand. Proudly.

Once the count had been made, he continued on forward.

"I swear if this maze was any gayer it'd be trying to suck my dick right now."

Irreverent Tyrannicide moved forward quickly. He assumed the others would do the same. Sure, he could be headed straight towards the tombs of the Neverborn, but whatever. It wasn't like he was doing much topside anyway, and he knew enough about the Underworld to know that there was just as much shit to kill down here that threatened Creation as there was in the Wyld.

"Your fucking mates better be eight flavors of awesome. If they turn out to be turd-jugglers I'm going to be fucking pissed."

Last edited by mean_liar on Thu Jul 23, 2009 4:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

So, does he do anything except make fun of gays? I mean, if I want to hear people being called [EDITED] I'd go back to 4chan. At least they're funny.

'cause really, I've yet to see him do fuck all.
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 12:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

That's about it. The only combat there's been was with an Abyssal Laughing Wounds stylist using Insatiable Slave Style to avoid Bashing Damage and a Gem of Adamant Skin... so there was basically no point to the combat after she got pinned.

I mean, he's a basic starting character doing 50+ damage a hit with an Accuracy in the high 20s, so I suppose the GM isn't interested in combat anyway. MDV is... 11? 12? ...and Soak is in the 20s.

And I happen to think its a hell of a lot funnier than 4chan, so there. Seriously, all you see are gay jokes? You are clearly an unfunny person and need to die. Tongue
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

Well, to be fair, it was bold and red.

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